Thus, Digression @thusdigression - Tumblr Blog

a postcard story about being the last one left on earth...

Day 17: I found a damn near pristine Bugatti in some rich guy’s garage. A cul-de-sac off Washington in that unachievable suburb of Trenton – tons of McMansions, like embarrassingly many. Only three with pools. It’s funny that all the signs at the gas stations tell me that self-serve is illegal, as though waiting at a pump long enough will summon an attendant from… heaven, I guess? I’m not sure I believe in heaven, but I certainly believe in hell now. I didn’t think it could get harder than losing mom. I really thought at the time that that would be the worst thing I would have to live through but all I did was jinx it. I’m gonna try taking 80 out to wherever the fuck 80 ends to see if I can find communities of survivors. Weird to write those words, in every zombie novel ever it’s all about the Communities Of Survivors as though they’re a given. With the internet down I don’t know shit. I check houses for radios when I can, but even if I found someone with a niche interest in ham radio I wouldn’t know how to work the thing. I don’t even know what they look like, but I played a video game once that relied on ham radio as part of the plot and I remember what that setup looked like, so I’m looking for that. In the meantime I have a sweet-ass ride for the drive.

Day 68: Decided to name the ‘yota Stella, like the way Elaine screamed it in Seinfeld. Adelina always wanted a hybrid, and I’ve been recreating Seinfeld plots in the car recently. Can only do comedy lately, since doing funny voices keeps me company. The answer is I got tired of getting like 10 miles to the fucking gallon because my whole life I’ve been told to save the environment and I’m still trying to save it even though what is there to save? Nothing in Philly or Pittsburgh, but the bodies seemed fresher in Cleveland. In a way I’m glad I was at the epicenter. It would have been worse watching the news to hear about the death tolls on the east coast and have to know that it was coming before it got there. But maybe the electrical grid went down before they had much to fear. I found a ham radio in a forgettable town off 80, McEwensburg, on Dodds Street. Some prepper’s fucking bunker, much good it did them. The smell was terrible but hopefully it gets better over time. I didn’t bother to clean. It wasn’t portable but it had a handbook on how to use it. Spent a week sending help signals, played The Killers through an old boombox when I couldn’t talk anymore, not sure if the microphone picked it up but no one responded. So the Communities of Survivors don’t have a ham radio nerd in their numbers. Understandable. I wonder how they’re preventing infection? I don’t think it’s bloodborne because I would have fucking got it in the first days. Same with airborne. At this point it might just be some epigenetic signal that switched on a gene I don’t happen to have, but I’m pretty sure whatever I do or don’t have, statistically I’m not the only one.

Day 94: It’s rotten everywhere. I spent nearly a month in Chicago and all I saw was bodies and the Bean. Badly decomposed. You could mistake them for animal carcasses if it wasn’t for the clothes. My mantra is they’re just deer in pants and it doesn’t work and I fucking wish it worked because everyone is already FUCKING DEAD. And the deaths aren’t fucking fast either. In the dorms it was at least a few days between the first hallucinations and the bleeding. James and Eric took a week. Adelina was an outlier. She was convinced her grandpa was trying to teach her to tango in the afternoon and was soaking into the living room carpet by midnight. I found a map in one of the rest stops that says 80 goes all the way to the Pacific and I think I’m just wasting time now. I’ll try the west coast and if that doesn’t work I’m going to the Yukon or something to die so future archaeologists wonder what the fresh fuck I was doing driving a Toyota Prius in the middle of nowhere.

Day 128: I’m somewhere past Cheyenne, passed a sign that said 245 miles to Salt Lake a few days ago. I wish people had the decency to pull over when the bleeding started. Lot of trucks, and a surprising number of passenger cars. They must have had the same thought I did: get as far away from the epicenter as possible. Or maybe just going to Actual Buttfuck Nowhere, thinking that they can escape. The smell is better since baking in the sun really helps kill bacteria but it’s harder to figure out how long they’ve been here. Back in Newark at a gas station there was a man, an old Sikh guy in a neon-yellow uniform, nametag said Yadvir, he thought I was his wife and kept telling me he loved me, he loved me, he loved me, he was so sorry. I left when his tears started turning red. I wish I would have stayed and comforted him, told him I loved him too and treated him like he mattered because he was the last person I saw alive. Because the worst that could have happened was I caught this and died and I don’t think that would be so bad anymore because I haven’t seen someone alive in four months now and I might be the last person alive. It got the animals too and that’s the worst part because if dogs or birds or even spiders were immune I would have something to hold on to even though spiders are kinda gross but it would have been something. Bacteria seem to be okay because the bodies are decomposing but there aren’t any flies on the bodies or the vegetables in the stores, there’s nothing else moving but me and whatever’s light enough to move in the wind.

Day 193: I couldn’t cross the bridge in San Francisco because there were too many cars so I crossed it on foot. Parked the Toyota at a windsurfing business. It’s nice to hear the ocean after so much silence. Nothing broadcasting on the car radio, no city noises, no birdcalls, though I did sleep in an apartment near a clocktower in Salt Lake City that scared the crap out of me when it chimed the first time. Those Mormons sure know how to wind a fucking clock. The ocean is noisy and lively and doesn’t depend on humans to give it life and it’s nice to see something alive.

Day 221: Started going south on 1 to stay close to the coast. There aren’t any fish and I tried windsurfing and almost drowned which would have sucked if I was the last person on earth because what a stupid way to die. Adelina was from Brazil and I never got to meet her family and I don’t know how to find them but I figure if this is genetic then I should go somewhere with different genes.

Day 274: I stayed on the coast as long as I could but eventually the passable roads went central and I lost sight of the water. Slept on the beaches as much as I could. The map says I’m in Panama and I was dumb to think I could just drive on a nice, well-maintained highway straight to Manaus because I forgot that the jungle existed. I forgot that the literal Amazon rainforest existed. It’s times like these that I miss social media because this would be a deeply funny tweet. Anyway I left Stella in the shade and I realized that I’ve been locking the car out of habit every time I leave it and there’s no one left to take it. I wish someone would steal the damn Prius so I knew that there was anyone else out there. Anyway I’m setting out on foot because Adelina always wanted her family to meet her beautiful wife and I never believed her that I was beautiful. I’ve seen her a few times in my dreams but she’s always dancing or bleeding and I can’t remember what her face looks like even though I have pictures of her with me I can’t picture her face when I close my eyes.

Day 312: Thank Christ and I’m sorry I ever doubted that some higher power would never let this happen because I found Luis, and he doesn’t speak English and I took two years of Spanish in high school and I remember next to nothing but he’s here. Apparently the rainforest wasn’t kidding because I got caught in a flash flood and almost died again but this would have been a little cooler at least and when I woke up he was wrapping an ankle that I can’t stand on and my head was throbbing but he’s here. It’s raining now and he’s ten feet away starting a fire and I can’t hear anything over the sound of the rain and the earthworms below me filtering the leaf litter into rich earth. From what I can gather he was in the rainforest hunting because he has some rats with spots in a backpack that he must have snared because he doesn’t have a gun or anything and there must be others because I heard a bird just now and that means that this place wasn’t affected. Maybe this wall of water and trees is a natural blockade against the infection and maybe all of South America has survived maybe God decided enough was enough. Maybe we’re going to be okay and I can find Adelina’s parents and tell them she loves them and misses them and tells me so much about them that I could pick them out of a lineup.

Day 314: God I missed meat that isn’t canned and preserved to within an inch of its life. We’ve been eating fresh meat and some roots I don’t know what they’re called but they grow in the dirt under the mossy side of the trees. For two days we’ve been eating fresh foods and I’ve been eating canned goods for the past year and I didn’t realize how much I missed real food that wasn’t just about surviving. And I was right about this forest being safe from infection because I can hear footsteps of animals and their calls and cries and footprints in the mud and when I tell Luis that I won’t be able to help him hunt because the most I can see of the animals that live here is the flash of a tail before they bound through the underbrush and he just laughs and laughs. I can’t walk very well.

Day 315: Adelina I’m so sorry. I love you and I’m so sorry I forgot. Your parents came to see me and they love you and they love me and I gave them your picture and they left and I can’t get them to come back and I’m sorry I couldn’t tell them anything more about your death because it was horrendous and they don’t need to know about that but they’re beyond hurting now but I still can’t tell them. I love you and I’m so sorry and Luis is gone and he was never here and I was wrong Adelina I’m so sorry I was wrong and I’m in the forest in New Jersey and you would love the vaulted ceilings and the incredible green of the leaves Adelina because you were beautiful and you loved beautiful things and you thought I was beautiful and I won’t forget that I keep forgetting everything else but I won’t forget that. My nose just started bleeding and I hope I don’t have long because I’ve decided that I believe in heaven after all because I want to see you again and if I believe I will I will I will see you soon Adelina I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love

#short story #writing prompt #short fiction #horror #plague

seananmcguire

Re: the "prestigious university" question. Going to a *college* with a recognizable name in your field doesn't matter much - you'll get a relatively similar education no matter where you go, and you'll end up with a degree either way. The difference is that good universities usually have better *faculty* - if you establish a good relationship with a person/people who have lots of connections in your field, that matters for recommendations and eventual career opportunities.

There you go.

still-hunting-for-turtles

Alternatively, smaller schools might have better *teachers* than big R1 schools. As someone currently at an R1 institution for grad school, I see how much (little) most of the faculty have invested in teaching, compared to their own research. And I can say with 100% certainty that my undergrad instructors at a small liberal arts college (granted still a "prestigious" one) *definitely* cared more about teaching and my own education. So basically: think about what you *specifically* want, and research how your options do that thing...there's no one-size-fits-all option for undergrad

thusdigression

That's very true! I have gone to a community college for my associate's degree (and you're right, I had a lot of wonderful teachers who were focused on their students *because* they don't have research to worry about), a mid-level state school for my bachelor's (meh teaching with a few exceptions, okay research), and I'll be starting my PhD at an Ivy League school this summer that I chose specifically for the reasons I described - faculty's opinions bear weight in a competitive job market, and for me school is ultimately a career move. The thing is that, yes, you will have great teachers and arguably have a better learning experience at a smaller school, but this may not necessarily translate to job opportunities. You'll be a better (insert profession here) but even the best (professional) needs to leverage the power of networking - having a rapport with people who have lots of connections will help get you a job, and the faculthoot "prestigious" schools usually have these types of connections. There are industries in my field that select their new employees each year from the graduating class of a small handful of top-tier universities because they trust the faculty's recommendations there - you don't get into those jobs unless you have a certain letter of recommendation on your application. So it does matter - but if you want to have a better learning experience, these schools may fall short.

But I think it's important to stress that undergrad especially is what you make of it. You can go and do the bare minimum to get your degree, or you can go, get your degree, seek out internships, graduate with honors, join the executive board of a club you like, build rapport with your teachers/visiting lecturers/local professional organizations, etc. You can do a lot at any school, and if you're miserable at a "prestigious" school you'll end up doing worse, in the long term, than if you were happy and engaged at a smaller school. So it's really variable depending on the particular individual and what environment they thrive in; attending a prestigious school may mean more doors are unlocked, but attending a smaller school might just help you learn to knock louder.

#Higher ed

tastefullyoffensive

prismatic-bell

HERE’S THE THING THOUGH

I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click

And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”

So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is

“No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”

I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:

“Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”

I accidentally called the director of the FBI.

My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.

kuroba101

This is my new favourite story.

therobotmonster

When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.

There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.

The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.

During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.”

So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound.

I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.

So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by…

“Uh… Is Shantavia there?”

It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States.

There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.

The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.

arctic-hands

Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before.

snazziest

They call me coffee cuz I grind so fine

thatpunnyguy-deactivated2016051

They call me coffee I keep you up past 2 am

xjustcallmethedoctorx

They call me coffee because I’m really bitter and most people don’t like me without changing some aspect of what I am

thebestoftumbling

clever dog tricked me into game of fetch

saaav-deactivated20161101

I would be there all day tbh.

astible-remade-deactivated20171

do u ever have like….. a self meme…… like a meme that is specific to u and only u get it but u joke abt it in ur head all the time…… like an inside joke but its just u

thisisjosh42-deactivated2021051

When girls look for things W/ Sara Hopkins, Robby Ayala

theresnosuchthingastheone

This is so real

writingcello-deactivated2016012

@updatepls

peacheat

I don’t even know why we do this? Is it because our boobs get in our line of sight when we look down?

#what did I just watch

carrionbeast

netflix is using a widescreen version of malcom in the middle that was never supposed to air.

twentymuleteamborax

s/o to dewey’s stand in

#text posts

bearhams

theoldness

WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKK

s1uts-deactivated20250921

that is exactly what he deserves

horriblebeing-deactivated201906

pure

which test tube was she bred from

#trigger warning #what did I just watch

spongebobfreezeframes

“Ghosts? Ha! I ain’t afraid of no ghosts. Every sailor knows a ghost won’t come near a fella as long as he’s wearing his spotted neckerchief. And his dried-up sea leprechaun. And a bit of gold never hurt.

But to be on the safe side, I’m also wearing me pants in a melvin knot, got me shivering timber brace, and the hairs on the back of me neck are taped down. And I’m all wrapped up in a suit of anti-ghost armor.

And if none of this stuff works, I’ve got me secret weapon—the specter deflector. So just try and get me, you ghosts. Bring it on!”

#spongebob

emmyc

Some Disney comics I made for a mini zine years back but didn’t post all of them online anywheres! Here you go.

mellssa

dankleaf

????

bunny-banana

NOBODY SAY A WORD

canadad-deactivated20171111

how dare this younger generation enjoy casual hookups and temporary dating…back in my day we got married to our first crushes when we were 18 and ended up unhappy by the time we were 40

precious child

#hs fanart #kanaya maryam #karkat vantas #cuties #attractive art oh no

nowyoukno

See More Daily Facts Here!

philliciaglee

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH

Sorry….kind of

cruelladatrille

isn’t captain hook and his crew suppose to be a lost boys who escaped and that’s why he’s trying to kill peter pan

cerealmisandrist

…what the actual fuck

thismagiclantern

I NEVER TRUSTED PETER PAN

tempestuous-sovereignity

nah everything in Peter Pan was fucked up.

Tinkerbell and her fairy buddies were having an orgy when they found baby Peter. Tinks also extremely jealous, tricking one of the Lost Boys into shooting Wendy in the fucking chest.

Peter’s also crazy omnipotent. Like, he “make believes” he’s a doctor, and heals Wendy. When he’s hungry, he pretends to eat imaginary food and his stomach actually gets fuller.

He’s also a dick. He would teach children how to fly but never how to stop, so they’d fly for months on straight without rest or break, and they couldn’t sleep either or they’d stop flying. And when one of Wendy’s brothers actually fell asleep and plummeted into the ocean, Peter laughed his ass off. He only saved him when Wendy begged him too.

punkfaemoved-blog

okay but that’s the point of Peter Pan. It’s not supposed to glorify never growing up, it’s supposed to show kids why growing up is not only good, but necessary otherwise they’d end up as fucked up as Peter. He never matured, never learned right from wrong, he never listened to his parents because - according to Peter - he ran away as an infant.It’s a tale to teach children that listening to their parents and growing up is good. As far as Tinker Bell goes, if you actually read Peter Pan you would know that fairies only feel one emotion at a time and they feel that emotion very strongly so the orgy? lust. Trying to kill Wendy? Jealousy. She embodies the seven deadly sins and what happens if you let your emotions get the best of you. (And as far as the new fairies series of films making her nicer it’s because you only see the jealous side of her in Peter Pan and you see other sides of her in the series because those movies are about her). Rant over, you can go back to your regularly scheduled blogging now.

adventuretimetimeline

So if Peter Pan shows up in your window. Stab him in the fucking chest kids. You have school tomorrow

supernaturalshadowhunter-deacti

Reblogging because I believe this will be important to the Once Upon a Time fandom tomorrow.

maybe-this-time

It’s more complicated than that. Peter is kind of a tragic hero. He chooses not to grow up, he knows he is incomplete.

I mean, he cut off Hook’s hand because he thought it was a game. He clearly doesn’t know right from wrong. He also only knows the unconditional love of a mother to a child, which is why he thinks everyone wants to be his mother. He also switches sides in a fight just for fun, kill pirates for fun, and “thins” out the Lost Boys when they can’t fit in the tree anymore.

But, like, it wasn’t a cautionary tale to tell you to listen to your parents, it’s a story about death and youth. Why can’t Peter grow up? One of the popular theories is that it’s because he’s dead. J.M. Barrie’s older brother died when Barrie was little and he dressed up in his brother’s clothes to please his mom. His mom - who was always distant, whose love Barrie craved like Peter craves a mom - started crying and said something like “At least my baby will never grow up” and that idea stuck with Barrie forever. Then, as an adult, it’s believed he never slept with his wife because Barrie was just a kid. He was Peter Pan. He was too innocent for that. He befriended the Llewelyn-Davies boys and based Peter Pan off of them and their games. (Fun fact: The boy Peter Pan was named after, Peter Llewelyn-Davies, threw himself under a train). There was also a bunch of stuff about Barrie being in love with The Llewlyn-Davies boys’ mother, but that’s not important here.

People think Peter’s dead because he literally cannot return home. He tried and the window was barred and his parents had replaced him with another baby. Why? Probably because they had lost Peter to the flu. Why does Peter come in through the window? Because of the joke “I once had a bird names Enza. I opened up the window and ‘influenza’.” Because lots of babies died back then form the flu. The Lost Boys are children who fell out of their prams. Odds are babies could not survive falling out of their prams. Peter is liked the pied piper ferrying the souls of young children to the neverland/afterlife. Barrie believed that all children were “gay and heartless” but he didn’t think that was a bad thing.

Also, Hook and his crew are not old lost boys trying to kill Peter. Hook was once a British gentlemen (hinted at to be associated with Charles II and attended Elton) and he is afraid of growing old. His biggest fear is growing old and dying - that is why his nemesis is the embodiment of eternal youth. That is why the crocodile that chases him swallowed a clock and ticks. That is why when Peter finally decided “It’s Hook of me this time” the crocodile has stopped ticking and Peter started (he’s trying to trick them into thinking he’s the croc). At that moment - Peter is time and time has ran out for Hook.

Also, it’s not so much that Peter is omnipotent. All kids basically are in the Neverland. Like, it states that the island looks different to every kid because it’s the land of their dreams and stuff. Also, the island legit freezes when Peter leaves and thaws when he comes back. He’s been there so long he’s not human anymore - but fey. (keep in mind being fey isn’t good, just chaotic neutral). Peter even secretes pixie dust now. The island is so fine tuned with him because he’s one of the only people that stay, that it caters to him. Most likely any child that stayed as long as he did would become omnipotent to an extent.

As for Tinker Bell, the above stated is true. Fairies are so tiny they can only have one emotion at a time - “Tink wasn’t all bad” - and they also have really short lifespans so, like, Tinker Bell isn’t even that important to Peter Pan. He forgets all about her and Hook by the time Wendy is grown up.And the orgies thing is because in the legends fey are known for their revelries.

And it wasn’t so much that Peter was a dick, he just doesn’t know when to stop. He’s a child. He doesn’t know right from wrong. He doesn’t know when to stop playing -cutting Hooks hand off was a game to him. He also has the memory of a child, so odds are he just forgot to teach kids how to stop flying or how to imagine food, etc. He is just carefree, like all children. Everything is a game to him, because he never learned anything else.

But like, no, Peter Pan is not a cautionary tale. Barrie loved his character and the story and brought up a lot of good things in it. He wrote Peter as an exaggeration of a cocky overconfident boy, but, like, Peter wasn’t afraid of death. It says “he felt scared, yet he felt only one shudder run through him when any other person would have felt scared up until death. With his blithe attitude towards death, he says, “To die will be an awfully big adventure”.” and with that Barrie is showing us both a naivety and bravery we possess as children but lose as adults and is basically telling us that we shouldn’t let that go. Like, the point is growing up is inevitable but you don’t have to lose everything.

And so yeah….I’m really passionate about Peter Pan.