IT'S OUT NOW ON BANDCAMP AND ALL STREAMING PLATFORMS (subject to it actually being Friday where you are) I am so proud of this EP and so is everyone else in this band. Please give it a listen :-))

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@thwackamabob
IT'S OUT NOW ON BANDCAMP AND ALL STREAMING PLATFORMS (subject to it actually being Friday where you are) I am so proud of this EP and so is everyone else in this band. Please give it a listen :-))
Having seen some births now i can say that dog birth is amazing cos they just slip n slide out one after the other like a little conveyor belt. And theyre so little and unformed. And then UNGULATE BIRTHS ... are amazing for the opposite reason which is that 10mins after being born they are filing their taxes. Unless they are goats, in which case they are committing tax fraud instead
Goats are what is called a precocial species, which means that shortly after birth they are able to do many thimgs on their own, such as standing, walking, eating, and embezzlement
it really pisses me off when adults sit there and drill it into kidsā heads that their youth is fleeting and tell them things like āenjoy your childhood while it lasts because this is the best itās gonna getā. why are you telling children that adulthood is the worst thing they can experience? seriously what the fuck is wrong with you, why are you trying to make them feel like growing up is a fate worse than death? trying to convince them their life is over before it even begins? iām tired of that shit. because tell my why my 12 year old cousin told me when she turns 30 sheāll be so depressed sheās just gonna cry all the time. what the fuck. kids donāt need to hear that their already stressful and overwhelming lives are never going to get better, that the abuse and lack of autonomy they face is apparently the highlight of their lives. they need to hear about adults who are happy to be alive and happy to have made it to their age. they need to know that growing up rules, itās a gift and life does not have to suck for them, that they have a future thatās worth sticking around for. this rhetoric is so damaging mentally and iām about to start hitting the adults who parrot it. iām sorry you hate your life but you donāt get to dump your issues on these kids. donāt piss me off and leave these babies alone!
this lab safety training module is sending me
I feel like whoever wrote these questions was speaking from experience
The entire point of, OK, my phone really wants to call it Anastasia so I guess weāre doing that? The entire point of Anastasia (as administered by a board-certified Anastasiologist) during sugary. Sugary? Havenāt I suffered enough? The entire point of Anastasia during augury. Jesus Christ. Hold up. You know what, augury is preferable to sugary. Augury is obviously performed by an auger (makes sense if you give it a think) whereas sugary is performed byā¦? A sugardaddy? NO THANK YOU. Anyway. The entire point of Anastasia is so that you donāt know what music your sturgeon. Fuck right off. Was playing. While you were under. Youāre not supposed to wake up from Anastasia and immediately realize you managed to get earwormed by Motƶrheadās āAce of Spadesā during your sugary.
do you ever find something that is so funny and you want to share it with everyone but it also requires 18 layers of context spanning things like. 90s anime. aviation history. europop. canada. in order to even remotely understand why it is so funny
in the late 90s there was an anime called initial d which was all about street racing and drifting. naturally every single drift was played for great drama and excitement.
in 1999, an italian named giancarlo pasquini released a europop song under the alias dave rogers called Deja Vu. this song was picked up as the theme song for the above anime. it in turn became a meme, a shorthand for drifting and Cool Moves as a concept.
in 1983, air canada flight 143, a full sized 767, ran out of fuel halfway to edmonton, alberta. this is not something you want to have happen to a huge airplane. the flight chose to try and make an emergency landing at a nearby decomissioned airforce base (as they were falling fast and could not make it to a proper airport), where they ran into a second problem: they were falling out of the sky at 500 feet per mile, but reached gimli (the base in question) while still too high to safely land. normally a plane would just do a big loop-de-loop to lose altitude, but they had maybe three minutes of airtime left before they hit the ground: not enough time to make any kind of circle. the pilot, therefore, decided to execute a side slip to lose speed and altitude. this is Not a move you want to do with a massive 767, because airplanes are not built for that and if you screw it up that plane is hitting the ground at a high speed at a weird angle and breaking into a million pieces. nevertheless, the captain tried it... and succeeded. the plane landed perfectly, and there were no major injuries! (a couple of people did get minor injuries when evacuating the plane after.) he did it so well, in fact, that the plane was refueled, flown out of gimli a couple days later, and continued to fly for another 20 years with the nickname "Gimli Glider."
what is a side-slip, you ask?
it's drifting.
the guy goddamn drifted his 767.
in 2008, the tv show Mayday: Air Disaster featured the gimli glider with full reenactments as an episode on season five of their show.
and so, in conclusion, the thing i have been giggling to myself about all weekend:
this is somehow starting to make the rounds so because i am a pedant i am going to take this time to talk a little more in depth about air canada 143, the GIMLI GLIDER
so you may be wondering: how the hell does a 737 (capacity of roughly 100-120 people) run out of fuel midair? the METRIC SYSTEM, that's how!
up until the early eighties, airplanes would have three people in the cockpit: the pilot, first officer, and flight engineer. generally speaking, the pilot's job is to fly the airplane; the first officer's job is to provide support, monitor instruments, and assist (the pilot and FO will swap roles periodically), and the flight engineer's job was to watch over all the fuel gauges, electrical systems, hydraulics, etc., to make sure they were all working properly, as well as taking charge of things like "setting engine power."
however, in the early 1980s -- when this story takes place -- the flight engineer role began to be made obsolete as computers and more advanced systems became capable of doing most of that work. the boeing 737 of this story was one such plane: actually, air canada 143 was quite a new airplane at the time of the accident, and had no flight engineer.
also in the early 1980s? canada was making the switch from the imperial system to metric.
neither of these things is bad in and of themselves. but put together? one of the flight engineer's jobs was to monitor fuel; it hadn't yet been made clear whose job it was now. canada, at the time, was doing refuelling in a convoluted "the fuel is weighed in pounds but put into the plane as liters" system that required Math and Conversion.
let's talk about AIRPLANE FUEL. unlike a car, you don't take your airplane to the station and fill 'er up: fuel has weight, and airplanes care a LOT about weight. way more than you'd imagine. it's the pilot's job to therefore calculate a) how much fuel they need to get from A to B b) how much extra/emergency fuel they need for safety and c) if and when they need to refuel and by how much. is there bad weather in the area? where's the nearest backup airport? if i need Ten Fuels to get to alberta and there's storms in alberta, i need another Two Fuels to circle around and kill time before landing safely, plus another Five Fuels to get to calgary in case alberta is impossible. my airplane is fully loaded, which means it's heavier than usual, so needs another One Fuel for takeoff power. so altogether i need Eighteen Fuels. except i'm in canada in the 1980s so now i need to figure out what that is in liters, and this used to be the flight engineer's job, and idk man. maybe it's 5 liters? that sounds right?
...you see the issue. it isn't that anyone was slacking off, but no one was quite sure what the conversion was, and so instead of giving the soon-to-be Gimli Glider 18 Fuels, they took off in that fucker with nowhere near enough fuel. to make things worse, the plane had a broken fuel gauge, which was a whole other thing and series of comical misunderstandings, but basically it meant that not only was there No Fuel, but the fuel gauges looked something like this:
the very-soon-to-be crashed airplane's day started off normally. they did a little hour long flight from one city to another with no issues. because they knew the fuel gauges were being silly, while on the ground they did a "stick test", which i'm imagining involved a tree branch, basically checking that yep, there was fuel in the tanks, we're good! (in actuality, what it was doing was measuring the weight of the fuel. except, again, they had their maths all backwards, so due to this convoluted conversion process they went "our fuel weighs 5 kilograms, which equals 20 pounds, which equals 18 fuels, which equals 900 liters." just. silly math. i don't want to make these guys out to be idiots: they would obviously have never flown the plane if they had realized their mistake. but the other problem was of course that the process was already convoluted and required multiple conversions; imagine how much worse it would be if, like these pilots, it was a new system you weren't used to!)
so they boarded their passengers and set off from montreal with the intention of flying to edmonton. and that's when things all went terribly wrong.
pictured: the intended and my interpretation of the actual flight.
all this set up leads to the actual flight, which is almost boring in summary: while high up in the sky, the plane suddenly ran out of fuel. this is bad. we do not want this to happen. the pilots had no idea what was happening at first, but i mean: it was pretty obvious. there's no fuel. no engines. no power. you're 30,000 feet in the air in a 64 ton machine and gravity is going hey girllll heyyyy.
but the thing is, airplanes are really cool. like, this is what got me so interested in these plane crashes and accidents: airplanes are awesome. because first of all: just because you weigh as much as a building and are thousands and thousands of meters in the air? doesn't mean the airplane just falls. hell no! without power, an airplane will still stay in the air, losing altitude, sure, but gliding fairly safely and manageably. this doesn't mean you're safe, but: when air canada 143 lost all power, it still had time and options. it also had... the RAT.
the Ram Air Turbine, or the RAT, is an amazing fucking guy. if an airplane loses power? a hatch pops open, and a little propeller drops down automatically. he's wind powered, and he will provide just enough backup power to keep the most critical systems online, even without fuel or engines or god. we LOVE the rat. and the rat leapt into action here, providing the pilots with enough basic systems to keep going.
this doesn't mean that air canada is out of the woods. landing without power is not easy! the trick to landing an airplane is doing it at a nice shallow angle and low speed, which involves things like "doing nice steady turns to line up with a runway" (no time, we're falling steadily), "using engines to get our speed right" (what engines), "getting to the correct altitude and speed to touch down gently" (we have NO POWER we can't go "oopsie too low" and pull up and adjust). if a plane loses too much speed, it WILL fall out of the sky (a stall) because the aerodynamics stop working. if it's going too fast, you're not landing, you're diving cockpit first into the ground. without power, you can turn, but turns will reduce speed. you can't level off or go back up. you are Going In A Downward Direction. the trick is figuring out how fast and how far and aiming at a runway.
this is also where ATC comes in! we love air traffic controllers!! air canada called a mayday, and ATC leapt into action. their job becomes to Get Them What They Need. air canada wants to go anywhere in canada? atc will move everyone out of the way and get them any runway in the northern hemisphere. when this happened, air canada 143 was near winnipeg, which was their initial goal: this IS going to be a crash landing, and the nearer they can be to emergency services, the better. however, the first officer was doing Good Math, calculating their rate of decent vs distance flown, and soon realized that even though they could literally see winnipeg from the windows, they just weren't going to make it. they were falling too fast.
enter: GIMLI. the first officer had actually trained there during his air force days; it's a former base with two runways. it wasn't ideal, because ATC had no information on it and it lacked instruments and equipment (normally, for example, airports will have locator beams and so on to help an aircraft lock on to the runway at the Correct Safe Angle), but... better than a field or lake. one of the dangers of this type of no engine landing is actually being non-committal: waiting too long to make a decision, trying to maximize time in the air rather than land. this makes sense! it's probably pretty human instinct! prolong that crash as long as possible! but it's much, much better to simply Commit and Prepare and Go For It. and that's exactly what air canada now did.
they told ATC they're going to gimli and made the turn. the cabin crew was meanwhile preparing the passengers for a crash landing.
the crazy thing about plane crashes is, actually, that they are very survivable. don't get me wrong: they're bad. people die. but the number of worst case scenarios where dozens of people still, somehow, survive? shockingly high. of course, you don't want ANYONE to die. i would be terrified if it was me. but cabin crew had to know it would probably be... well, not okay. but that if they got everyone prepared and braced, people were going to make it out. people were going to survive this. possibly most of them. possibly all of them.
as the plane approached gimli, problem #87 came up: they were still too fucking fast. they're gliding down! they can't stop! normally, a plane would simply slow down with flaps, or maybe do a couple of big circles before reorienting themselves towards the runway to lose some speed and altitude, but they don't have time -- or altitude. and that's where the theme song KICKS IN
here are reasons you DO NOT DRIFT airplanes, by the way. it can fuck up your engines: engines work in part by taking IN air, so flying at a Drifting Angle means that's all wrong. the aerodynamics are wrong. you're losing speed VERY fast. you can get OUT of the drift, but now your engines are fucked. on the other hand, this plane effectively HAS no engines, but... there's a reason people don't drift planes, okay.
another plot twist: gimli air force base was no more. the runways were still there... but it had been turned into a drag strip, ironically enough. and it was family day! picture this. you're a nice canadian racing fan in 1983, at the strip with your family, cooking hotdogs and poutine on a grill. and a fucking 737 APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE in front of you. because that is exactly what happened. there were KIDS. on BIKES. with a PLANE HEADING RIGHT TOWARDS THEM. in the mayday episode, the kids tried to outrace the plane in a panic: in the pilot's telling, the kids simply froze in fear.
by the time the pilots realized the runway was occupied, it was way too late to turn back. they landed. in a twist of bad luck that turned into good: without power, they had to manually release their landing gear.... and the nose gear didn't lock. this turned out to be a weirdly good thing: without nose gear, the plane's nose hit the runway and acted as one hell of a brake in ITSELF, grinding on the asphalt as the plane barreled down at high speed. the pilot also intentionally steered the plane into the rail in the middle of the runway, trying to slow the plane even more. and... it worked! the plane came to a stop. everyone was fine. even the kids on bikes.
all this friction caused a small fire in the nose, and so the pilots called for an immediate evacuation to be safe. this caused a bit of an issue: because the nose was on the ground, the butt of the plane was higher than usual, and the back slides were basically just vertical drops. a couple people got mildly hurt using them, as you'd expect.
meanwhile, the drag strip folks were rushing over with fire extinguishers and the like, and the small fire was easily contained (note: do not fuck with burning airplanes. this one had no fuel so COULD be contained). by the time ATC got emergency services to gimli, everyone was safe, ankles were being iced, and presumably everyone was eating hot dogs.
the airplane itself had some minor damage (from when the nose acted as a brake), but was largely intact: it was patched up, refuelled, and took off from gimli a while later, where it flew for another 20 years before retiring of old age.
and that is the story of the Gimli Glider: that time a pilot drifted his plane so hard that he saved the lives of everyone on his plane.
all 69 of them š
I had read the story of the Gimli Glider before, and I had seen the video with "Deja Vu" playing, but I never understood where the song came from or why it was supposed to be funny before.
This is "The Most Tumblr Punchline" in action, only I didn't realize there was something to look up.
Now that I do?
Okay, that's funny.
Honestly one of my favorite episodes of Mayday, highly recommended if you've got an hour open!
You: *panicking, running for your life through my labyrinth space station*
Me, over intercoms: You have terf bangs
One of my controversial takes is that I kind of hate the term "rejection sensitive dysphoria" wrt adhd because it's so clearly the same thing as being anxious and insecure in relationships w trauma based disorders but people talk about it like it's just an intrinsic part of your brain that you're simply Too Sensitive & not, like, a consequence of every neurodivergent person alive being bullied as a child. Like that thing of how there aren't any non-traumatized autistic people to study
Like if you have Struggles Socially Disorder you're going to be disliked by most of your peers growing up & you'll be affected by this. Maybe you'll get nervous about people not liking you. & then people will try and tell you your problem is that you have Sensitive Bitch Disorder because you're paranoid
the delicate art of cracking someone's egg honestly has a lot of parallels to trying to help a friend who you think might be in an abusive relationship
often you will have to do both at once
OFTEN YOU WILL HAVE TO DO BOTH AT ONCE
I watched the live action version of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" on Youtube and I was not ready for the utter lack of emotions from the CGI animals.
Nala looking concerned about Simba hiding something about his past, a comparison:
Also, in CGI this song called "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" does not take place at night.
There is an active transmisogynist kiwifarms thread about specific transfems and allies on the site that posted as mousidy took her break.
i have every single confidence now that the transmascvoicesproject was made by one of these users.
The thread was made specifically to target specific transfems on Tumblr, and specifically have had mousidy, missforcefem, pocket deer belly, puppet, plaidos, Patricia taxxon, and others primarily in their sights over the fact that they exist.
I cannot stress enough reporting transmascvoicesproject for spam on every post, blocking, and disengaging.
An active kiwifarms thread is watching that blog and I do not fucking trust further engagement whatsoever. This screams of danger please take care of yourselves.
So with this being allowed to exist weāre all in agreement thereās a kiwifarms user on staff at this point right?
duuuuuude you have GOT to come out tonight we're enacting cruelty upon those who have transgressed so badly that we can justify any act against them... and you KNOW we're interpreting our delight as moral righteousness... Yeah it's fucking crazyyyyyyy get an Uber
We have a release date!
Hello everyone, and thank you all for your patience over the many, many months we've been wrangling things behind the scenes. We're happy to say we have an absolute, 100% set in stone release date for EXPANSION, our double album covering the Expansion Era of Blaseball.
EXPANSION will release on November 6th, 2026.
If you've already ordered the album, you'll be able to download from Bandcamp on the day of. We'll be organizing a listen party closer to to celebrate the release and have one last good old garages hang.
Our inbox is open for any questions, comments, concerns and such! If there's something about your specific order you want to discuss, shoot us a message, and we'll figure out the best way to sort things.
Thanks again to everyone for your patience. We're so excited to finally open up the vault.
xoxo, the garages
I have so much to say about this album, because if Iām being really honest, my fingerprints are all over it. But Iām not going to say it all at once, so letās start at the beginning (which is a very good place to start).
PIVOT
Pivot was indisputably the first song written on Expansion. Itās a running joke amongst the garages that Bertie never misses, and I had the first cut of this song written maybe a week after the first kick off meeting.
That kick off meeting is important because we had a great pool of songwriters, and originally a double vinyl worth of time limit. So weād allocated how many songs to a side, roughly how much time each song could have to fit on the vinyl, and the overall flow of themes from Blaseball that weād touch at which points, then it was up to all the different songwriters to sort of preference what they wanted off the album.
And I was like āoh, I know exactly what energy I want to start this thing off with. Gimme that a slot 1.ā
The actual pivot
Whilst the structure of that first draft has persisted to the final version, the evolution of the song took another couple of weeks. See, the first draft pulled a lot of influence from [REDACTED] and some initial feedback from an early songwriterās listening party was that this sat quite at odds with the tone of the rest of the album, and perhaps drew too heavily on that source influence.
So, I pivoted and added more Bertie. This ended up adding more energy, which well⦠youāll see.
The actual pivot⦠again
Remember how I said my fingers were all over this album. Well, I originally only had the one songwriting credit to the album, but along the ways we had a range of shifts in the album overall. There were songs partially written that had to get pulled (because song writers had become unavailable or had outgrown the people they were when the song was first drafted)⦠thatās life post-blaseball, right?
Well, one of those gaps eventuated in my other solo writing credit (and check those timestamps):
The thing is, thatās a lot of time interposed as a song writer, but even more importantly as a performer. The vocals on [REDACTED] eclipsed Pivotās vocals (blaseball pun intended) so much so that it sounded like two different singers. So, in 2024 or 2025 (time blurs), I went back to Pivot and re-recorded all the vocals. And then more vocals. And then more. And then more.
And then more
I think this really summaries Expansion as a whole: so many times, weāve individually and collectively wanted to give more. I shanāt dare trawl discord to count it, but the amount of times a songwriter would hear how someone had improved their song and responded with āwell, fuck, how do I follow that?!ā is ⦠a lot.
Without big upping it too much, I think this album is really special because every track feels crafted in a way that we never could have had the time for in the original Garages blur.
But itās also why itās taken so long. Iāve never wanted to let any of the songs get left behind. At a certain point in the album process, I stepped in to take over some of the organisation and also took up mixing and providing production assistance to a decent chunk of the tracks as well. Iāll leave it to others to assess how much that has helped or hindered, but it does mean that all of these 21 songs (even the ones I havenāt touched directly) feel almost like my children.
And so as a tasty little treat, Iāll leave you with the (almost prophetic) opening lyrics to Pivot/Expansion:
āBigger and better than ever before
We left you waiting, but you still want more.ā
Ok, continuing my series of thoughts about Expansion. I was originally going to go through in track order, but I think Iām going to bounce around instead.
13. B--t -n -he Biz (āBizā)
Iām fairly certain this was the first song that I provided production support on, which is to say, probably the second track I worked on. The songwriter had (fantastic) chords/melody/lyrics, but put out an open call to actually produce it into a full song. Checking the discord for timelines, I picked it up maybe a month after and started adding a few of the key design elements. My thesis was āvocal forwardā and āthrobbingā, take that how you will.
Another gosh dang pivot
Whilst there were innumerable delays that have contributed to Expansion, one of the biggest ones on my front was catastrophic tech failure:
My long term writing computer shat the bed entirely, and despite knowing better, I didnāt have backups of a lot of the projects. I also was in a position where I could neither afford to get it repaired or replaced, which meant it looked like it might have been curtains for Bertieās contributions. My memory is a bit hazy here, but Iām fairly certain I never managed to recover the original project files.
The solve came many months later, when - unable to access the original computer - I started to reconstruct the song from scratch using an old buster laptop. This was slow and laborious as I had
vastly less processing power, requiring me to work track by track.
very few of my plugins (and even fewer of my āgo toā patches), requiring me to try and rebuild sounds from scratch
only one or two exports of the original mix to try and work from.
Weāre somewhere at the 2 year point by now.
The process
Around another year later is when I stepped into the project management/co-ord role to try to assess the album and help get it all together. Weāve had a range of fantastic people across the albumās life (shout outs to Rain, Max, Yana and others) who had at various points taken on management, but had to step back due to life commitments or - I think itās fair to say - the overwhelm of what this project entailed. I had just come off the back of a multi-year work project and had two powerful tools at my disposal: (1) a set of procedures and spreadsheets for tracking and managing competing work streams, and (2) hubris. I also had the ability to finally get a new computer, my first actual ābrand-new, not second handā workhorse. So, three powerful tools I guess.
Anyway, as part of trying to land the proverbial plane, every song got categorised:
Those numbers of āawaiting mixingā are pretty key, because we had envisioned this album having a cohesive feel. Older garages albums typically had the individual artists writing and mixing their own songs, before submitting them to be mastered by a single individual. The closest analogue to this albumās process was some of the live albums, where individual performers would send in their parts (and videos) to editing teams.
In the end, weāve ultimately decided against having the whole album mixed by a single person. That said, assuming everything progresses as expected itās likely to be 5-6 mixers in total, with roughly 50% of the songs having been through me.
The mix
Biz was the first song other than Pivot that I mixed. Of the mixes Iāve done (so far) this album, this one also probably took the most revisions. Iād label each mix alphabetically for feedback from the artists, and the final version I have is āNā.
The challenge to this song is balancing certain elements that should feel ādelicateā and āintimateā with other elements (often at the same time) that need to feel āpowerfulā and āpunchyā. Along the way I had to learn a host of new techniques, especially in terms of pinning the bass frequencies in place so they didnāt fluctuate and drown out other elements. For anyone who hadnāt mixed music before, your ears fatigue the longer you critically listen to music (especially in headphones as I do), but they donāt do it equally across the frequency spectrum. The high end goes first, meaning that if I mixed for too long, I could be totally missing whatās actually listenable.
Iām really proud of where this song landed, and there are certain friends of mine in the blaseball fandom that I actively cannot wait for their first take on this track in particular. @wooshofficial Iām staring you dead in the eyes right now.
EDIT: oh, and because I got so caught up in talking about the process of this one, I forgot to add why this is my āFavourite Childā. Biz is the song I find myself singing to myself the most often without even realising it, and whilst there are many songs on this album that make me cry, this one makes me smirk.
passing in public makes me feel like white shrek
literally how it feels
hang on i need to review my entire post history from all time and make sure i haven't said anything embarrassing
awful news guys
jkr is literally posting upskirt photos to her social media. when will it finally get through to harry potter fans that their support makes her feel confident and correct enough to do things like this
If the holocaust denialism SOMEHOW wasn't enough for you to shut up about your favourite kids book as an adult; JK Rowling just committed a sex crime IRL against a transgender woman.
When do we start to care.
as a teen, i was constantly harassed by adults enforcing ''dress codes'' on me. I very much experienced this as sexual harassment. I think this is one of many cases where people would more easily understand this as sexual harassment if I described it as if it happened to an adult.
imagine being on your lunch break, and your supervisor comes over to your table, tells you to stand up in front of everyone. they draw everyone's attention to your thighs. they tell you that you have broken the dress code because of the length of your shorts. they tell you to go change (so you do not get the rest of your lunch break). they do this every single day at lunch. every day. so you read the whole dress code front and back, and you choose your clothing carefully to not break it. you bring a cloth tape measure with you to work because they will not believe you. this time when your supervisor tells you that you're breaking dress code, you pull out your tape measure and show that you are within the limit. your supervisor says "I bet you wouldn't want me to bring you to the boss and let him measure it, would you?" it's clearly a threat: if you don't obey then you will be put alone in a room with your boss and he will touch your thighs. you don't know how to respond. you're taken out of lunch again.
this was my experience at school. replace supervisor with "teacher" and boss with "principal." this was sexual harassment. fuck dress codes.