problems on purpose

hi im goose im a 25+ year old bastard that went to culinary school. i am going to be so normal about my interests. 🦢 they/them 🦢

[sneakyspades]

[bungerc0re]

it's called a ball python because it is a python(🐍) that ball(🟠)

[contemptible-scoundrel]

nothing in the rules says a python can't play basketball

[butchtoks]

[emil]

"Peggle make phone calls" has become shorthand for "fuck it, whatever" for me but no one ever knows what im talkingabout and it's also longer (longhand?)

[emil]

peggle make phone calls

[notkatniss]

still thinking about the clear dunkin canopic jars tweet

[mousegirlheart]

i beg to sniffer

[fullmetalwindbreaker]

[lakevida]

[thequeeninyellowlace]

[quasi-normalcy]

Reverse Mulan about a young man who disguises himself as a noblewoman and has to learn how to do passive-agressive politicking at dinner parties.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

He does so to dodge the draft

[deadpowol]

[afurioushawk]

[foolishmortal]

Egg producers will pay $3.3M and donate 53 million eggs to settle price-fixing claims

The U.S. Justice Department and 17 states have reached settlement agreements with three major egg producers over allegations of that the com

[regularlywrong]

Thank goodness that justice is being served, and the companies that stole from every American family to the tune of tens or hundreds of dollars are being forced to pay less than one cent per person they affected!

[dragongirlafro]

ok i know i'm one to talk but genuinely if you think 👍 or ❤️ is "passive aggressive" you might be spending a bit too much time on your phone jeez louise

[dragongirltitties]

who thinks 👍 is passive aggressive i read it as an old timey mobster going "on it boss"

[mollyjames]

Whenever I use thumbs up I'm sticking my hand out from under a pile of rubble, too exhausted to speak, but signalling I'm okay

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I’m tapping the feed to acknowledge the message like Murderbot

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Bestie u ok?

you've reblogged that Calvin&Hobbes comic about destroying suburbs and reforesting the space for the animals to return 11 times

I was talking with My Wife about a particularly ugly and empty commercial real estate property; it consists of a dilapidated parking lot ringed by storefronts. Half the businesses are shuttered; the ones that remain are mid-tier corporate shells, things like Baskin Robbins and El Pollo Loco. We were passing through, picking up some very overpriced ice cream cake for a party

She said, in the way that most folks say this, that “there used to be nothing here.”

To which I replied (with substantially more force and pain than I had anticipated)

“There used to be Trees!”

I apologized for yelling, and she forgave me. She knows the journey I’m on. She’s right there with me. The Pain is still fresh. I am only just learning.

I’m only just beginning to really understand. I’m only beginning to see. The severity of it. The depth and breadth of what was lost; no, destroyed, Murdered, to make way for, for… Baskin Robbins.

We used to live amongst giants

They used to be EVERYWHERE

I don’t know what to do with all this Pain. This Rage. This Sadness. I want there to be someone I can punish, someone I can blame, someone I could put a bullet in to make it better and set it back, but I can’t, they’re dead, the Giants are dead and I can’t do anything about it and it makes me want to cry.

I dunno bestie. I don’t think I’m ok.

[sceptixfakemon]

this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this

[sceptixfakemon]

im never leaving this hellsite

[sceptixfakemon]

i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone

[sceptixfakemon]

FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!

[demilypyro]

it's funny how "press F to pay respects" was such a gigantic meme that it seems to have permanently affected the way we talk online. people use it completely genuinely and unironically. had a bad day? F. died in a videogame? F. I see it constantly in Discord, Twitch and ingame chats. like it's actually being used as common shorthand. when it only gained prominence because of how hilariously stupid this screenshot is

[apatheticfluorescence]

when a car that's busted up doesn't use their turn signal. did you learn anything

[389]

[hikikomoricomplex]

I see we’ve reached the “blame your failures on communist subterfuge” phase of the AI business plan

[hikikomoricomplex]

The AI business plan, for reference:

1. Promise everything.

2. Piss off everyone.

3. Deliver nothing.

4. Blame asians?

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Man, I've been hating on ai for free! Where do I sign up for Chinese funding?