Irene Adler is a mask, yes, but one that Jamie thinks she might have been, had life gone differently. When she paints, she can imagine the girl, the woman, the artist -- sweet, and kind, and so talented that she left a mark through her art. But she wasn't that girl, didn't grow into that woman, and her art is instead felt world-wide, and she will be remembered in blood and scars.
so, i've decided to marathon all the Scream movies, not just the trilogy, which means rewatching 2&3 while i wait for the rest to come in. this has led me to ranking the most entertaining to watch Ghostface killers during the real / motive rant. in order of least to most favorite, from Scream 1,2,3:
Roman (b/c wtf he is SO BORING)
Billy (b/c he's just the stereotypical angry white boy)
Mrs. Loomis (she is fucking crazy and therefore funny)
Mickey (he's so damn funny)
Stu (he is the most fascinating of them all, okay)
Roman (b/c wtf he is SO BORING)
Billy (b/c he's just the stereotypical angry white boy)
Mrs. Loomis (she is fucking crazy and therefore funny)
Jill (she's crazy in a terrifying way)
Mickey (he's so damn funny)
Charlie (he's so adorable and sweet and then YES I KILL ON COMMAND)
Stu (he is the most fascinating of them all, okay)
10. Ethan / Quinn / Dad Bailey (HOW ARE THEY MORE BORING THAN ROMAN??)
9. Amber (she isn't as charismatic as Roman, pre- or post-reveal, which is something i hadn't thought possible)
8. Roman (b/c wtf he is SO BORING)
7. Richie (he isn't as creepy as Billy, even though i liked him pre-reveal)
6. Billy (b/c he's just the stereotypical angry white boy)
5. Mrs. Loomis (she is fucking crazy and therefore funny)
4. Jill (she's crazy in a terrifying way)
3. Mickey (he's so damn funny)
2. Charlie (he's so adorable and sweet and then YES I KILL ON COMMAND)
1. Stu (he is the most fascinating of them all, okay)
and now ranking the movies (i have yet to see #7) best to worst:
6. Roman (he "worked alone" yeah right)
5. Ethan / Quinn / Dad Bailey (they didn't turn on each other, so they would be higher if they were at all entertaining)
4. Richie / Amber (they didn't turn on each other but also, the only one i liked stopped being entertaining post-reveal)
3. Mrs. Loomis / Mickey (i liked both of them, but one of them turned on the other and we legit NEVER SAW THEM INTERACT except for that)
2. Jill / Charlie (i liked both of them and obvs Jill was gonna kill him but he was just so adorably in love)
1. Stu / Billy (c'mon. they didn't turn on each other, they were just stupid kids hopped up on bloodlust and no sleep for days but the reveal is awesome and they play off each other so well)
so, i've decided to marathon all the Scream movies, not just the trilogy, which means rewatching 2&3 while i wait for the rest to come in. this has led me to ranking the most entertaining to watch Ghostface killers during the real / motive rant. in order of least to most favorite, from Scream 1,2,3:
Roman (b/c wtf he is SO BORING)
Billy (b/c he's just the stereotypical angry white boy)
Mrs. Loomis (she is fucking crazy and therefore funny)
Mickey (he's so damn funny)
Stu (he is the most fascinating of them all, okay)
Roman (b/c wtf he is SO BORING)
Billy (b/c he's just the stereotypical angry white boy)
Mrs. Loomis (she is fucking crazy and therefore funny)
Jill (she's crazy in a terrifying way)
Mickey (he's so damn funny)
Charlie (he's so adorable and sweet and then YES I KILL ON COMMAND)
Stu (he is the most fascinating of them all, okay)
i want to start writing fanfic for stuff outside of mythology and fairy tales again. give me a fandom and if i'm familiar with it, i'll write at least a drabble.
(i wrote a 3-sentence Godzilla 2014 fic and two Supernatural prose-poems yesterday through this method! first fanfic i've written since 2023.)
so, i've decided to marathon all the Scream movies, not just the trilogy, which means rewatching 2&3 while i wait for the rest to come in. this has led me to ranking the most entertaining to watch Ghostface killers during the real / motive rant. in order of least to most favorite, from Scream 1,2,3:
Roman (b/c wtf he is SO BORING)
Billy (b/c he's just the stereotypical angry white boy)
Mrs. Loomis (she is fucking crazy and therefore funny)
Mickey (he's so damn funny)
Stu (he is the most fascinating of them all, okay)
as a person who was once deeply into veggietales as a child this kills me. the vegetables worship a deity who cannot save them. they are damned to hell no matter how much they strive to mimic the life of a believer. this is obviously hilariously dark
but
according to junior asparagus in "where's god when i'm scared?" there is some sort of pre-existing notion that the christian god is capable of comfort and intervention on behalf of the vegetables who are factually not god's children, and this is not only suggested, but expected. which means the world of the vegetables is under the jurisdiction of god, and he recognizes them as conscious and in need of help
i can imagine phil vischer didn't want to depict a separate vegetable god who made vegetables in his image, as that would probably be considered heretical on top of his wife's request, but this does mean that the specific flavor of god portrayed in veggie tales is aware of, and indifferent to, the eternal damnation of conscious beings who love and strive to follow him and are recognized as his creations, albeit not in his image (the qualifying attribute of being a child of god that is missing in this equation). which does NOT strike me as what you want to go for in kids' media, let alone as an accurate portrayal of the canonical evangelical christian god
which brings me to the key question
why vegetables, phil? why would you write yourself into this corner with the base fucking premise of your show? did you not anticipate a single child hearing "made in his image" and starting to ask questions? do you know how many preschoolers would hear "jesus saved us from our sins" and ask whether he saved their cool tv friends bob and larry too? you may be indifferent to the salvation of your produce, but i assure you, if my parents had told me as a young child that bob & larry were not going to heaven i would have been inconsolable. the only reason i didn't ask that question myself is that i wrote the vegetables off as fake pretty much as soon as i realized that the animals in "the yodeling veterinarian of the alps" were not at all to scale next to larry the cucumber and the laws of reality could not have applied
"When God sings with His creations, will a turnip not be part of the choir?" Was unexpectedly poetic.
I'm a little weirded out to be finding this after remembering just this morning that one of my very first posts on Tumblr was about veggietales. I thought about my post this morning and then this pops up this afternoon.
Layoff season in a nation barreling downhill, led by a monster
who barely fits in the costume of a man. Is this
what “great” looks like? I don’t know where they printed the
dictionary—and I don’t want to flip the pages forward to
learn the new definition of “free” or the picture painted now.
Something that drives me absolutely insane is that no one ever told Buck that he was in the right for the lawsuit. Like yea, he could’ve handled it differently, and preferably chosen a less shady lawyer, but the lawsuit itself was not wrong, especially considering that he not only won it, but was offered so much fucking money. And yet, he’s the only one who shoulders the blame on that entire situation and it infuriates me.
I used to be like yea, he shouldn’t have told the lawyer all that personal information about them, but honestly, he wasn’t even wrong about being truthful with the lawyer, especially considering that the only really harsh thing that was really brought up was the alcoholism, and it’s not like Bobby didn’t already have that out in the open with the LAFD which is what led to his suspension.
Like. The fact that he has to beg and grovel and try so hard to get them to forgive him, when Bobby was the main one being sued, rightfully so, most of them had fallen off of reaching out and keeping up with him once he was out of active danger, he’s put on a light duty desk job that not only actively raised his risk of blood clots but also probably dropped his pay massively, and all he was trying to do was get back to the job? Like did everyone else outside of Bobby even know he’d been cleared to come back?
I feel like Eddie is the only one who had a genuine right to be mad, but mostly just because of the fact that he basically had to cut contact with no forewarning, at such a detrimental time for both him and Chris, but at the same time, it drives me crazy that you still can’t see his side of the lawsuit. Especially then to turn around (much much later) and lash out at Bobby for something similar. Couldn’t be me cause I would’ve been like “what happened to not only seeing your own side of things.” Anyway.
And even more than that, he’s constantly in these situations where he’s apologizing and fixing things and it feels like no one is returning that same energy. I’m definitely projecting my own issues a little bit, but another example is that bullshit with Chimney lashing out and punching him for keeping Maddie’s secret like he isn’t full of his own fucking hypocrisy.
TLDR: it just pisses me off that no one acknowledges that Buck was in the right for the most part with the lawsuit.
hi! long time, no see. there's been job drama, life drama, family drama World drama, etc. also major surgery and depressive episodes. haven't been writing for fun because i write at work, but lots of reading (both published and fanfiction). how we doin' here in this dumpster-fire of year, y'all?
you're missing out on all the crazy euphoric moments where you execute an idea flawlessly, sending it to your friends and feeling the genuine happiness at their reactions to something you made authentically. you're robbing yourself of something beautiful.
and I get it, writers block, artists block, depression can really be terrible, but once you break out of it (and you will) it will feel like climbing Mount Everest.
Chimney is Hen's work wife. Hen is not Chimney's work wife. I can't explain it, those are just the vibes. Chimney has work wife vibes, Hen does not.
Ravi is, surprisingly, Buck's work wife, in the world's most dysfunctional "staying together for the tax benefits" marriage. I can't explain it better than that.
Eddie is, unsurprisingly, jealous of this dynamic and insists he should take on the work wife role. What he fails to understand is that he's the actual wife.
I guarantee you Maddie has a work wife but I couldn't tell you who it is. Neither can she.
Athena is a strong independent woman who doesn't need a work wife -going along with the not having a partner thing.
Bobby neither has a work wife nor is a work wife, but you can't deny that Brad Torrance tried his hardest.
Compilation of the best fics I’ve (re)read in the past week.
For once, not fully just old man papal yaoi.
Fandoms:
Avatar: The Last Airbender
Conclave (2024)
Marvel Cinematic Universe
Welcome to Night Vale
AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER
Kindling AU by MuffinLance / @muffinlance
Teen, 21.5k words, three complete works in a series
Military firebenders are called Kindling. This is accurate.
Cool worldbuilding with Zuko whump that doesn´t making him into a shaking crying damsel? Sing me the fuck up.
your people surround you, in shame and in pride by tigriswolf / @tigriswolf
Gen, 606 words, complete
An old man lives at the edge of the woods, just outside town. They say he's a fallen god, or a demon in hiding, or even that missing heir of the Fire Nation. He has a scar, like the legends say Prince Zuko had, and the golden-yellow eyes, but no one's ever asked.
Or, if they have, they're not talking.
One of those fics I have read years ago and haven´t stopped thinking about since. I really reccomend checking out the podfic version as well.
CONCLAVE (2024)
Albumen, Chorion, Amnion by antistar_e / @kaikamahine
Teen, 15.6k words, complete
It took two weeks for the new pope to reinstate Janusz Wožniak as his chief of staff. In fact, Sister Agnes had to tell him about it ahead of time - hoping, presumably, that if he knew his position was safe maybe he'd stop sweating about it so much.
Janusz centric fics are rare to encounter, but when you find one, they are always gold. Like this one. Perhaps not your typical Conclave fic tone wise, but so, so good.
the mire, yet the soul by @queerfarmgremlin
Explicit, 13.4k words, WIP
Vincent Benítez isn't an angel. But he's not exactly human, either.
I don´t care that this is a WIP yall go and read it right now. There is a dire lack of fics with supernatural elements in this fandom, but if that is the price we have to pay for getting This -
Innocente by Regency / @sententiousandbellicose
Mature, 8.5k words, WIP
Long ago, Vincent Benítez became a parent, but trauma took those memories away. Now that he is Pope, time gives those memories, those nightmares, and his son back to him.
It is an agonizing rebirth.
I love it when fic writers make Vincent suffer ouo. Really interesting twist on the whole "secret baby" thing that some people write.
According to Him by @holydongbird
Teen, 1.6k words, complete
Thomas’s voice is stuck in his throat. “What…” What now? What are you? It rings unspoken.
“I am what God made me,” Vincent speaks in a hushed rasp, speaking from his knees and peering up. “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”
“2 Corinthians 3:18,” Thomas echoes in return. His breath hitches and he thinks, this is what it must’ve felt like to behold Christ himself.
Or, Thomas learns who Cardinal Benitez crafts himself in the image of.
You know what I love more than magical realism? Well written magical realism. And hoo boy, is this one good. I really like fics that take the fact that Vincent Benítez is more of a concept than anything and just run with it.
MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE
Dr. Seuss Never Wrote This Sh*t by pagination
Teen, 15.2k words, complete
On Friday, Clint comes back to the tower from an op in Cairo.
He eats two tuna sandwiches. After that, he takes a shower.
Then, since he doesn’t have anything better to do, he finally decides to do something about the strange dick in his pants.
Okay, yeah. That sounds bad.
Fic with one of the best openings I have ever read, and it has not ended there. Laughed through the whole fic. It reads like something from 2012 before the fandom tore itself appart and the MCU went promptly to a toilet.
Dollhouse by @jinxquickfoot
Mature, 12.2k words, complete
The torture bingo card.
It was an old joke that had been passed around the SHIELD agents with a darker sense of humor. Phil had disapproved. Fury had pretended not to know. Clint had joined in right away, only to find he had been able to fill out half the squares before the game had even begun, courtesy of a life of bad cards, poor decisions, and worse luck.
No one was ever supposed to win.
--------------------------------------
The Barton family gets an uninvited guest, and it has no intention of leaving.
Absolutely delicious, a gem of whump and psychological terror. It has been some time since I have read a hopeless no-win situation so well described.
Life's a Beach by heliantheae / @overpricedpeonies
Teen, 1.4k words, complete, part of series (can be read as standalone)
She turns to the camera as Bucky approaches and says, “There you have it, folks. Straight from the man with a plan himself. Stay tuned for more as we continue to cover the Avengers Initiative’s first annual beach clean-up!”
“What did you tell her?” Bucky asks, with no small amount of trepidation, because with Steve it’s kind of hit-or-miss between a harmless PR speech and a political rant.
Steve gives him the most wide-eyed, innocent look he can manage. “I just think socialism is neat, Buck.”
Going through my old bookmarks, and this one is one of thse short oneshot fics that will make your heart warm and you will think about them smilling for the rest of the day.
User Since by @rageprufrock
Gen, 3.9k words, complete
To: PC ([email protected])
From: Buck ([email protected])
Subject: Report!
Date: May 10, 2012
Phil — where the hell are you, man? Let us know if you're all right, or if there's anything we can do to help. HQ's freaking the fuck out.
Where the Need is Greatest by Niitza / @princessniitza
Listen, I am and always will be weak for epistolary fics. This one? This one makes me cry every time I read it. One of the best ending paragraphs I have seen in a fanfiction.
Teen, 20k words, complete
In which Steve Rogers takes one look at the history of American military interventions since the end of World War II and nopes straight out of it, follows in his Ma's footsteps to become a paramedic, joins Doctors Without Borders, gets sent on an unsanctioned humanitarian mission to Syria, and somehow still ends up being a determining factor in Hydra's downfall - all of this without throwing a single punch.
Somehow, he's okay with it.
The concept of DwB is woefully underrepressented in fics and I am so glad that this one exist. Both for the story, setting and for giving Steve Rogers agency outside of being the millitary yesman.
MARVEL X WELCOME TO THE NIGHT VALE CROSSOVER
The thing is, when an agent reaches clearance level five, it’s because they’re valuable, capable of something an exponentially diminishing few can offer in the ranks of SHIELD. Clint Barton, his personal issues notwithstanding, is unstoppable behind a scope. Jim Woo is an analyst and extractor par excellence. Melinda May has infiltrated half the presidential offices of Asia, and Phil Coulson has an instinct for the unusual that could be the basis of an entire TV show.
Jasper’s less certain what he brings to the party.
The Hero's Journey; or: What Jasper Sitwell Did Last Summer by pagination / read by artzbots, @blackestglass, daroos, girlwithabubblegun, @podficcerbynight, @opalsong, reena_jenkins, RsCreighton, sabinelagrande
Gen, 24k words / 2-2.5 hours of podfic, complete
Incredibly funny, clever and engaging story, which I reccomend to listen to in its podfic version - the podficers took the already briliant text and through their mastery of character voices, incredible narrator and stellar choice of background music created something that should be streamed at festivals.
Please make a post about the story of the RMS Carpathia, because it's something that's almost beyond belief and more people should know about it.
Carpathia received Titanic’s distress signal at 12:20am, April 15th, 1912. She was 58 miles away, a distance that absolutely could not be covered in less than four hours.
(Californian’s exact position at the time is…controversial. She was close enough to have helped. By all accounts she was close enough to see Titanic’s distress rockets. It’s uncertain to this day why her crew did not respond, or how many might not have been lost if she had been there. This is not the place for what-ifs. This is about what was done.)
Carpathia’s Captain Rostron had, yes, rolled out of bed instantly when woken by his radio operator, ordered his ship to Titanic’s aid and confirmed the signal before he was fully dressed. The man had never in his life responded to an emergency call. His goal tonight was to make sure nobody who heard that fact would ever believe it.
All of Carpathia’s lifeboats were swung out ready for deployment. Oil was set up to be poured off the side of the ship in case the sea turned choppy; oil would coat and calm the water near Carpathia if that happened, making it safer for lifeboats to draw up alongside her. He ordered lights to be rigged along the side of the ship so survivors could see it better, and had nets and ladders rigged along her sides ready to be dropped when they arrived, in order to let as many survivors as possible climb aboard at once.
I don’t know if his making provisions for there still being survivors in the water was optimism or not. I think he knew they were never going to get there in time for that. I think he did it anyway because, god, you have to hope.
Carpathia had three dining rooms, which were immediately converted into triage and first aid stations. Each had a doctor assigned to it. Hot soup, coffee, and tea were prepared in bulk in each dining room, and blankets and warm clothes were collected to be ready to hand out. By this time, many of the passengers were awake–prepping a ship for disaster relief isn’t quiet–and all of them stepped up to help, many donating their own clothes and blankets.
And then he did something I tend to refer to as diverting all power from life support.
Here’s the thing about steamships: They run on steam. Shocking, I know; but that steam powers everything on the ship, and right now, Carpathia needed power. So Rostron turned off hot water and central heating, which bled valuable steam power, to everywhere but the dining rooms–which, of course, were being used to make hot drinks and receive survivors. He woke up all the engineers, all the stokers and firemen, diverted all that steam back into the engines, and asked his ship to go as fast as she possibly could. And when she’d done that, he asked her to go faster.
I need you to understand that you simply can’t push a ship very far past its top speed. Pushing that much sheer tonnage through the water becomes harder with each extra knot past the speed it was designed for. Pushing a ship past its rated speed is not only reckless–it’s difficult to maneuver–but it puts an incredible amount of strain on the engines. Ships are not designed to exceed their top speed by even one knot. They can’t do it. It can’t be done.
Carpathia’s absolute do-or-die, the-engines-can’t-take-this-forever top speed was fourteen knots. Dodging icebergs, in the dark and the cold, surrounded by mist, she sustained a speed of almost seventeen and a half.
No one would have asked this of them. It wasn’t expected. They were almost sixty miles away, with icebergs in their path. They had a responsibility to respond; they did not have a responsibility to do the impossible and do it well. No one would have faulted them for taking more time to confirm the severity of the issue. No one would have blamed them for a slow and cautious approach. No one but themselves.
They damn near broke the laws of physics, galloping north headlong into the dark in the desperate hope that if they could shave an hour, half an hour, five minutes off their arrival time, maybe for one more person those five minutes would make the difference. I say: three people had died by the time they were lifted from the lifeboats. For all we know, in another hour it might have been more. I say they made all the difference in the world.
This ship and her crew received a message from a location they could not hope to reach in under four hours. Just barely over three hours later, they arrived at Titanic’s last known coordinates. Half an hour after that, at 4am, they would finally find the first of the lifeboats. it would take until 8:30 in the morning for the last survivor to be brought onboard. Passengers from Carpathia universally gave up their berths, staterooms, and clothing to the survivors, assisting the crew at every turn and sitting with the sobbing rescuees to offer whatever comfort they could.
In total, 705 people of Titanic’s original 2208 were brought onto Carpathia alive. No other ship would find survivors.
At 12:20am April 15th, 1912, there was a miracle on the North Atlantic. And it happened because a group of humans, some of them strangers, many of them only passengers on a small and unimpressive steam liner, looked at each other and decided: I cannot live with myself if I do anything less.
I think the least we can do is remember them for it.
I can’t begin to describe how happy and flattered and a little teary I am that this just broke 100k.
I may be the actual only human being on Tumblr with a post this popular that I not only don’t regret making, but am actually HAPPY whenever I notice a surge in its circulation.
I never intended this to gain any traction at all (you’ll notice there’s no sources or anything–this was a personal ramble, prompted in good humor by a friend after I jokingly said that I wished someone would give me an excuse to cry about Carpathia on Tumblr so I could get it out of my system.) I literally expected to get, like, maybe 20 likes and a reblog, from friends, indulging me in my nonsense.
It just….means a lot to me that it’s touched so many people. I see a lot of tags to the effect of “HOW DARE YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS AND MAKE ME CRY ABOUT A BOAT” that are often really funny, but overwhelmingly the tags on this post are from people saving it for a rainy day, or remarking in a sort of quiet awe that they never even really thought about her role in the story–and God knows I never did, I learned it by complete accident much as most of the people who’ve found this post.
And so many of you guys are taking strength and reassurance from the reminder not only that people are capable of amazing things together, but simply that kindness matters and that a simple, tiny act of compassion is never wasted. I’m just really glad to have been able to do that for some folks.
If I can just add one personal note. I need to emphasize something I only touched on in the original post.
I need to emphasize that Carpathia failed.
A lot of the tags and comments have a tinge of…despair, or guilt, or wistfulness about things like this happening so rarely. Or inadequacy, or just being overwhelmed or unhappy about not being in a position to step up in a comparable way. And I want to gently bring up the fact that this is still the sinking of the Titanic.
They did not get there in time. They did not save the ship. It can be argued that they may not even have saved a single life; we have no way of knowing. This was still a horrific maritime disaster mired in arrogance and incompetence and a lack of care.
If the response to this story shows anything, it shows this: It matters that they tried.
Even though they got there too late, even though the ship still sank. It matters that they tried. The difference between making the best reasonable speed after confirming the seriousness of the situation, and the miracle they pulled off–it matters. It makes all the difference. Even if it made no difference at all. Not one of you read this and concluded that I was stupid for caring so much when the Titanic still sank and all those people still died.
You don’t have to fix the world. You’ll likely be cold and sick and miserable and testy and scared, and unprepared, and in over your head, and entirely too small to be of any real use. It feels stupid, passing out blankets and coffee in the middle of an ice field knowing what just happened. It’s hard to feel anything but useless when all you can do is tap a wireless transmitter and promise help that you know will come too late.
It matters that they fought for those people. It matters that they cared, and it matters that they tried. It matters that they didn’t stop. If it didn’t matter, you wouldn’t have read this far.