Lucifer the emo Nemo

Czech • he/him • Call me Luc • Mrakomor simp • You can find my fics @ krchov on ao3 • Really intense about apple cultivars • Currently have lot of feelings about: still thinking about autovivisection but... the gay cardinals.

[frownyalfred]

I read a Commander Cody fic where he was dying from accelerated aging and was forcibly made young and healthy again, and the first thing he did upon being fighting fit was try to strangle the person who brought him back because he just wanted to be old and die finally.

Which was just so Bruce Wayne coded to me for some reason. Someone dunks him in the Lazarus Pit for the 4th time (probably Tim…or Clark) and the first thing he does after clawing his way out is try to strangle the nearest person because god damn it, he just wanted to be old.

he doesn’t want to fight anymore. why won’t anyone let him get old? why do they keep making him young? he has a whole generation of heroes under him but for some reason no one will let him go—

[frownyalfred]

[hotvampireadjacent]

[spiribia]

it's actually sick you get tired of eating the same food over and over when some animals they just eat grass all day mind you. just another pointless challenge mechanic added in by big universe to get you to go to the grocery store

[snippybaby]

Was literally thinking about this when I gave the rabbits their breakfast, the same dry pellets they get twice a day every day, and they were so hyped for it, as they always are. Why can't I have that where are my pellets #mypellets

[blackwoolncrown]

[00000066]

[dogpuppy]

[thevampirecrow]

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

[itsalwaysdark]

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

[steblynka-draws]

Art I made for a server remix event, an illustration for @krchov's amazing fic That’s brother Antonio, he goes to another church, where Vincent glued a fake mustache on his face and went to play football (but with Filipino Vincent)

[bunniope]

i skink therefore i scram...!

[bunniope]

[anistarrose]

my only religious belief is that there is no afterlife except for the ublock origin team who are going to heaven and the youtube anti-adblock team who are going to hell

[sourcreammachine]

one of my friends is petite-bourgeois and has big boobs. another one of my friends is petite-bourgeois and has small boobs. therefore it’s not the boobs that define petite-bourgeoisie, it’s something else entirely

[olympemancini]

Did you tell the police any of that stuff you knew?

- I did not. Sorry if I shock you, but the plain fact is he only got what he deserved.

GOSFORD PARK (2001) dir. Robert Altman

[hunxi-after-hours]

Surit Yeni ranks in the top five list of how fast I’ve gone ride-or-die for a character thanks to this exchange alone

[luntfontanne]

dearly departed fung wah bus may she rest in POWER 🫡 obsessed with ayo's go-to bit in her last press cycle being the great molasses flood and this time around it's the fung wah bus. real bostonian representation 🙂‍↕️

now you gotta pay like $35 for a bus to new york and it STILL will probably break down and leave you stranded at an ihop in connecticut :(

[luntfontanne]

imagine this 💭: open your eyes 🫵 CLOSE 'EM 🙂‍↕️ now open your MENTAL EYE 👁️ right? you are in a BUS DEPOT 🚏🚌 in the DEPTHS of boston chinatown 🏮🌆 you get the opportunity to take a $10-15 💸 bus that will take you to new york 🗽 in UNDER four hours ⏱️ sometimes THREE 🏃💨 it's like the concorde of buses ✈️ this thing's going a hundred miles— BIG bus, too🫸↔️🫷not a small bus 🤏 BIG ol' bus 🙌💪 HUNDRED miles an hour 💯 on the speedway 🛣️ sometimes? catching fire 🔥🧯 don't sit in the back 👈 don't sit in the front 👉 you will hit things 🧳⚠️ and things will hit you 🤕🔨 the bus? might explode 💥💥💥 THAT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS ✋ your business is GETTING TO NEW YORK 🫡 and then you do :)

[orcboxer]

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

[orcboxer]

experiencing microaggressions apparently

[aristoteliancomplacency]

Beans.

My partner and I have a running joke with a friend. Every time he goes on holiday we increase the quantity of beans in his flat.

The first time we bought ~30 cans of kidney beans and hid them around the house like some Easter egg hunt thing but with beans.

The Second time we bought ~6kg dried white beans and hid those in various places. Nearly every receptacle that could safely hold beans became the home of beans. My personal favourite was emptying an oat milk carton, very carefully washing and drying it, filling it with beans and then just putting it back among several other cartons.

He went on holiday again a couple of weeks ago. Obviously there is an expectation of bean-based shenanigans. And obviously we have to beat our previous efforts.

Our friend has (had) a mosaic on his wall of the famous Marilyn Monroe Pop-Art by Andy Warhol. He made the mosaic himself. Over the last couple of weeks we have spent hours and hours assembling a frame, drawing up a pattern and gridding out a 70 x 70 frame and gluing an untold amount of beans to it. I have spent over 21 hours gluing beans to a frames.

For the last couple of days I ended up going to bed at 5:00 am because I lost track of time whilst experimenting with which types of glue works best with different beans (I now have *opinions* on this, y’all). The day of our friend’s return we spent the morning and afternoon grouting the piece and wiping it down and wiping it down again and wiping it down again because grout is just like that. In the evening we went to install the mosaic, just a few hours before his return. Here’s a comparison between the original and our clearly superior replication, and the new piece installed in its rightful place.

[aristoteliancomplacency]

It took him over a day to notice. So for over a day he was wandering round his house knowing there were beans somewhere, but not knowing where.