dear maria count me out

he/him

[spidergirl-fibula]

thin veil today isnt it

[cyberratz]

me when i find out something will cost a pretty penny but i only have gross and ugly pennies left

[alice-likes-caaats]

forces beyond my reckoning (the stairs) have conspired against me (they were slippery) and succeeded (i slipped) and i have sustained great injury (one boo boo) but fear not! be it in a day or in a thousand years i shall emerge victorious (acquire ability to walk down stairs like normal person)

[7bitter]

nobody even knows how normal i am on account of my being obviously crazy

[wizardpostsdotorg]

do not try contacting me i have blocked you on my crystal ball

[micromontage]

when it wasn't meant to be 🤣🤣 but the potential of possibility still plagues you 🤔

[girlballs]

I need to bite something until it breaks. I need to jack off. I need to set fire to a large structure. I need to sprint into the woods

[cookiethebirddoll]

bus is my friend. shes no train but shes trying her hardest in a world that hates her

[mommydgaf]

you’re so fucking spoiled you get to pick out which radiator you get chained to

[saltoncity]

can we get anne carson on hot ones

[transfemininomenon]

the phrase really should be "eat your cake and have it too" im with the unabomber on this one

[cutecipher]

okay, im "sorry" i tested my dual scythe combos/fever mode on your "smol bean" boyfriend

[innerchildabortionclinic]

getting kicked off love island for just swimming in the pool and not talking to anyone

[butchniqabi]

highwayman jobs near me. highwayman jobs near me no experience. best highwayman phrases. which is better "your money or your life" or "stand and deliver". highwayman interview questions. highwayman entrylevel salary. good places to work as highwayman. is working shooter's hill worth it reddit. highwayman job stability. how to avoid burnout as highwayman.

[couriernewvegas]

trust that garlic and i are well acquainted

[wetorturedsomefolks]

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

[contemptible-scoundrel]

[jeering] you are so gay you would suck dick for a bus pass and then walk to the gay penis sucking convention

[suddenly really serious] and I respect that.