Mini Fics and Poems

My main blog is irrelevant

[tiny-and-fiction]

You've been making me smile lately

The first ones in months that aren't self-inflicted

And ones that I feel touching deeper than my lips

[tiny-and-fiction]

I feared becoming my mother so much

That I did not notice that I was becoming my father

Destined to live

Putting out someone else's fires

At the risk of being burned

[tiny-and-fiction]

I had a dream that I was happy

I couldn't see the face of the one that was putting a smile on mine

But my unconscious is too wise to allow me that premonition

[tiny-and-fiction]

I dreamt of the father of the universe

He was neither god nor devil

He was tired and downtrodden

He was merely an author of a vast amd many stories

Writing the tales of the earth to life

He wrote the same stories over and over, keeping the cycle of life consistent.

When he bored of this he created new universes, alternates

He changed the stories ever so slightly and let the endings morph into something previously unwritten

He was doomed to continue our story in an endless, unlearning loop

But gave hope to some stories

And fear to others yet

Still, I am not sure we are in the default storyline

Before I woke up, I saw the cover of our novel

And I believe this is one that is doomed

[stressed-and-nerdy]

You told me not to let it get to me

And I tried

But I couldn’t sleep

And I didn’t know why

Because I didn’t feel threatened

I still trusted you

Why did it hurt

When you didn’t say no?

It was because when I share my feelings

I want to be heard

And I felt like you didn’t learn from last time

And you didn’t realize what hurt me

Besides the act

My feelings were considered second

You worried about hers first

Because she was right in front of you

But when you’re always at the back of my mind

I hope I’m at the back of yours too

I don’t think that’s true.

[tiny-and-fiction]

The last thing she said before she fell asleep next to me was, "I love you, you mean the world to me, and so does your opinion of me." Those words made me feel confident in myself, even for just a moment.

[tiny-and-fiction]

I don't trust apologies

Words are not enough anymore

It's her fault

For always apoligizing

But never changing

Apologies only make me angry

I wish they didn't

I want to forgive easily

But words aren't sincere

Actions are

If you really regret your actions

Change them.

[tiny-and-fiction]

Druid's Worldly Love

Soft moss trails from my roots

Grasping ever skyward to soak in purity

Sunlight swaddling and cleansing all

I am a home

Small life prospers within my bark

I give breath from my leaves to the world

I embody strength

Crooked and rough I am beautiful

Towering high I give hope

In a mobile form I am limited

Unable to reach those in need

But I may love freely and widely as a tree

[tiny-and-fiction]

Frustration

If you keep comparing me to who I was, I’ll never be who I can become. When I have to live up to my own expectations, You don’t need to add yours And watch me burn.

I’ll never say out loud how much I resent That you don’t try to know me. One day you’ll realize I knew everything you discover To be true about the past.

Don’t tell me you want to help When you just want me to help myself. Your uneducated assumptions are more damaging Than your attempt at help.

Let me live my life and trust That I know what I’m doing, Because you’ve never been on the path I’m taking, And you’re not interested in the trail To the entrance. Don’t compare us when you’ve never Been on the road I’m taking.

Thank you for inspiring my art Through worsening my pain. Why don’t you just take your good intentions and shove it.

Maybe I don’t tell you what’s killing me Because every time I try, You drop weapons for my demons And tell me they don’t exist.

Destroy my self esteem why don’t you? Don’t teach me that perfection doesn’t exist When you expect to see it from me.

You have a talent for taking my seat out from under me When I finally feel ready to sit down.

Life is hard because no one understands Each other’s pain. Screw you For thinking you know what I’m going through.

You can’t control my life When you don’t understand why you’re trying. Try to understand my individuality, Not a comparison to my peers.

You can’t show love to someone Without learning their struggles And trying to understand why They cry themselves to sleep at night.

BITE ME

[tiny-and-fiction]

I realized today

That I'm stronger without you

I was conviced I needed you to feel safe

But I've found love all around me

I'm more free to be who I am

You were holding me down before

Now I'm not afraid to fly

[tiny-and-fiction]

Lonely Thoughts

I always fall too hard for the wrong people

I try too hard

Always so independent except for my self worth

Why do I feel the best when someone else loves me

Why do I need constant assurance

So starved for touch I reach out in the worst ways

Just a hug makes me feel more human

Vulnerable

Only the people you let into your heart can really hurt you

I don't want to hurt anymore

I trust too easy

But not enough

[stressed-and-artsy]

Ghosted.

Why do they call it ghosting? Is it because I feel like an empty shell every time I check my phone, Just to check if you’ve replied? Because my breath catches when I see “Active 13 minutes ago” But I asked you about your day two hours ago? Is it because the thought of you lingers behind as I wonder if you’re still out there somewhere? Because when I see you It’s a miracle, I know you’re real.

I meant everything I said when I was drunk.

[tiny-and-fiction]

I guess this counts as my poem too

[tiny-and-fiction]

The damp breeze combed through the canopy above, letting loose the dead leaves to fall to the ground around her feet. She walked close to the earth, the soft soil dirtying her feet and coating the frayed hem of her jeans. The droplets of rain that met her face made her dream of faeries dancing through the forest to kiss her cheeks. She carried souvenirs in her pockets: one smooth stone the colour of wet earth, a crimson flower - its petals surely bruising against her other treasures with each step, and a pine cone, now becoming tangled in the loose threads of her sweater. She was blissfully secluded from the world, and did not miss the noise, did not feel alone. She would not sing, as she felt no need to fill the silence. The poets sang that the trees and breeze were music, but she did not hear it. Mother nature is cleansing, she strips the pain and fills it with peace. The girl takes a peice of nature with her when she returns to the loud world, to remind her that somewhere there is silence.

[tiny-and-fiction]

In the shop it smells like old paper, ink, and a lost whisper of incense. On the shelves are worn and frayed histories and worlds, trapped on yellowed pages. Every one you touch feels like someone new, and you feel their purest love and wonder for the stories written in fading black.

[stressed-and-nerdy]

The land was tall surrounding the village, so tall that the idea of a sky was the small, pale, jagged circle above their rooftops. At the peak of day, for 20 short minutes, they were doused in a rod of sunlight that covered the courtyard embedded in the village centre.

This isn’t to say that they loved in the darkness, in fact, their technology surpassed that of the outsiders. They decorated themselves with implants that shone bright and matched the bright blue hue of the local flora dotting the mountains in trails and dotted stars.

One day, the village was discovered. The outsiders spoke in unfamiliar tongues and thus did not understand the villagers. They tore away at the mountains for decades, wishing to keep the village separate from the outside world, but bringing conformity to this unique environment.

[tiny-and-fiction]

Oops, posted this one to the wrong blog again.

[tiny-and-fiction]

Frustration

If you keep comparing me to who I was, I’ll never be who I can become. When I have to live up to my own expectations, You don’t need to add yours And watch me burn. I’ll never say out loud how much I resent That you don’t try to know me. One day you’ll realize I knew everything you discover To be true about the past. Don’t tell me you want to help When you just want me to help myself. Your uneducated assumptions are more damaging Than your attempt at help. Let me live my life and trust That I know what I’m doing, Because you’ve never been on the path I’m taking, And you’re not interested in the trail To the entrance. Don't compare us when you've never Been on the road I'm taking. Thank you for inspiring my art Through worsening my pain. Why don’t you just take your good intentions and shove it. Maybe I don't tell you what's killing me Because every time I try, You drop weapons for my demons And tell me they don't exist. Destroy my self esteem why don't you? Don't teach me that perfection doesn't exist When you expect to see it from me. You have a talent for taking my seat out from under me When I finally feel ready to sit down. Life is hard because no one understands Each other's pain. Screw you For thinking you know what I'm going through. You can't control my life When you don't understand why you're trying. Try to understand my individuality, Not a comparison to my peers. You can't show love to someone Without learning their struggles And trying to understand why They cry themselves to sleep at night. BITE ME

[tiny-and-fiction]

Her children felt like the mothers when she locked herself in and kept them all out. She was like a newborn baby, unable to care for and protect herself. In her waking dreams she was free, in fields of emerald grass and sapphire blooms, dancing with the fae and singing with the birds.