tiny insect @tinyxinsect - Tumblr Blog

Yeah I need to start journaling again instead of trauma dumping random shit.

Sometimes I feel trapped in this perpetual happy state I can’t seem to shake. It’s suffocating me. I just want to cry and feel again.

I’m afraid I can’t love. I feel infatuated, and my heart yearns for something so seemingly familiar; but it’s afraid. Petrified of letting itself be cut open again. The scars became so thick that my heart can’t squeeze a single tear drop out. It yearns, it waits, it isn’t the same.

Fuck you for everything you took from me.

The night we fought, the night I felt I had to scream so loudly to be heard that I only injured myself in the process; still haven’t healed.

It’s only increased over time. The heartache, the numb tingling loss of feeling that creeps every now and then. The tightness in my chest like someone’s strangling a tube in my body. The stomach aches that doctors can’t quite pin down. The loss of tint in my skin as the cold weather arrives.

Without you it’s been healing but I’m still not quite the same; nor will I possibly ever be. But you didn’t ever experience that; and I don’t know why I have to.

The aftermath sucks.

Why did they add a tv channel on tumblr 🥀

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Why’d you claim you loved me, when you called me crazy?

#ily #breakup #thinking

How are you supposed to feel? When someone you’ve known for over 10 years suddenly becomes a stranger again?

#poetry #feelings #awareness #somebody that i used to know #Spotify

The tears in your eyes when the memories you shared with another are missed;

It isn’t a bother—it wasn’t my business.

But it’s the way the person was described. How hurtful to hear, and oh, to see those tears in your eyes.

Ouch…

#ididmybesttobekind #heartache #waitingtoleave

I don’t appreciate how paranoid my brain can get—why am I memorizing random ppl’s license plates “in case of emergency.”

#paranoia #stupiddrivers #ihatedriving #peoplecantdrive #ialsocantdrive #paranoid

My body is an instrument, I play accordingly. I sing with stride & with notes held high. In love, in light, in everything that is done. My body is but an instrument.

#awareness #love #ily #instrument #music #cheese

I’m buying bags,

I’m buying boxes,

I’m packing belongings and I’m going the FUCK FAR AWAY!!!

#ew #idontwanttodateanymore #loveisformebutnotwiththisman #love yourself #moving out #running away #BOY BYE

God, you are my refuge;

And I, your refugee.

Running from where I am not wanted.

#god #ily #holdme #keepmesafe #cheese #youareloved

Daydreaming is over. Sleep is ruined.

#awareness