no us Gojo girlies are not okay (ToT)/~~~ brb im going to hunt for Gojo fluff/comfort rn 🫠
IT'S JUST LIKE GENUINELY SO OVER, I AM IN SHAMBLES.
I am supposed to work on commissions today but I'm saying fuck that I am going to be writing Gojo Fluff and drawing this mf. THIS IS CALLED SELF-CARE PEOPLE.
"I never knew you played?" Satoru's raspy voice carried through the air, traces of sleep still lacing itself in every word he spoke as he watched you retrieve a wooden acoustic guitar near your bedside.
"It's not really something I show off," you murmur softly, a gentle yawn pushing past your lips at the end of your sentence as you return to his lap, your back pressed against his chest. "It's just something I do to keep my hands busy from time to time", your fingers position themselves along the frets and strings as you begin to softly strum an assortment of chords, familiarizing yourself with the instrument.
He hums softly, wrapping his arms around your waist, resting his head in the crook of your neck, "If you needed to keep your hands busy, you should've just asked me... I could think of a few things for you to do" he says with a grin pressing a kiss to your neck.
You let out a breathless laugh, your focus unwavering as you strum a soft melody. "Gross..." You murmured, which had him snickering against your skin. He doesn't say another word, giving you the silence to do your thing. His eyes fluttered shut, and he left soft kisses along the expanse of your neck and shoulders, trying to hum along to the tune you were playing.
"Sing for me, pretty girl..." he then says, and your strumming comes to a halt.
"I don't sing," you reply, voice equally as soft, but your words curt.
"You play, but you don't sing?" Satoru grins knowingly, giving your hips a gentle squeeze as he nuzzles into you, seeking more of your warmth.
"One, that's not that weird," you say, furrowing your brows. "Two, I play, but I don't sing well"
He hums thoughtfully, pausing for a brief moment before speaking again.
"Will you do it for me?" he asked, smiling into your neck as he pressed more gentle kisses along your skin.
"That's playing dirty," you sighed, shaking your head slightly. He always knew exactly what to say in order to get what he wanted from you. It's a little irritating in all honestly, how quickly you find yourself caving into him, that a few measly words from him manage to tug on your heartstrings. How could you tell him no when he asks like that?
So you relent, of course you do. Biting your lip and mustering up the courage within yourself, you begin to strum once more, your fingers dancing across the frets with practiced ease as your sleep-laced voice begins to sing the lyrics.
Your voice has a slight shake to it and there are times Satoru can tell you're trying to find the note.
But he loves it.
God, he loves it so much. He loves it because it's you. It's your wonderful voice filling his ears, and he can't stop himself from gushing over the way you serenade him so sweetly.
All he can think about is how you're his perfect girl, and he loves you more than words can express.
☆~~~~☆~~~~☆
A/N: This is so incredibly self-indulgent hehe. Also what song do you picture yourself singing to Gojo? First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes is the first song that comes to my head lol
hello!! first i wanted to say OMGGGG YOUR GOJO FIC IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE, genuinely the best fanfiction i’ve read in a hot minute. i really admire how you take the time to craft the individual characteristics of both gojo and the reader and including the background info for their relationship with the 2 oneshots was *chefs kiss*. i truly admire how you bring a story to life! second!! i was wondering if you would ever consider writing more for this fic, like maybe their relationship after they reunite or something. just a thought! i am sooo obsessed with your work and i can’t wait to read more of you plan to post anything else <3
I literally smiled so wide when I saw this in my inbox aaaa, I read over this like 3 times LMFAO. Thank you so much for your kind words!! It really makes me happy to see that the intentions I have when writing are being received and appreciated! So thank you for your support and kind words, I'm so honored that you think highly of my work ;w;
I have honestly thought about writing more!! I think naturally at first, when I was writing The Ghost of You, I thought about what would be a good point to end the fic at. I considered writing about the Readers and Satoru's return to Jujutsu Tech together but it felt like an awkward place to end it when looking at the fic as a cohesive whole.
I also am a sucker for happy endings LOL, and of course, in the time frame that the story takes place in, where it's right before the Shibuya incident, it would just turn into more angst if I were to continue the story.
But if I were to write some sort of epilogue or bonus part to this story that takes place afterward- It would likely be Satoru bringing the Reader back to Jujutsu Tech, she would reunite with Shoko, Nanami, and Yaga, and potentially briefly meet Satoru's students. It would be pretty lighthearted with Satoru helping the Reader to start adjusting to being a part of society again and maybe give some insight as to how the reader survived and lived (in terms of her daily routine) when she had isolated herself.
Thank you once again for your support and kind words!! Maybe after I finish up my next few imagines and I have some free time, I can write out this idea :))
Summary: Suguru defected. Satoru comes to you for comfort.
warnings/tags: Takes place before "The Ghost of You" (which you can read here), and takes place after Warm Afternoons (which you can read here). Mentions events during the Hidden Inventory Arc, reader, and Satoru are close friends, but it's clear there is something more, ANGST, ANGST, ANGST, not a lot of comfort tbh- like a sprinkle of fluff? slight OOC!Gojo, imo teehee
word count: 3.2k (I KEEP GOING OVERBOARD WHEN IT COMES TO THIS MAN)
☆~~~~☆~~~~☆
It was an incredibly rare day off. Classes had been canceled and no missions had been assigned to you. The only flimsy explanation you were given by Yaga was that some form of internal investigation needed to be done within the school and it was in everyone's best interests to keep most of the students away from the main campus.
The news had been a shock and you certainly had several questions—the suddenness, the complete lack of clarity—it simply didn't sit right with you. A part of you wanted to attempt and pry for more details but, truthfully, the allure of finally having a day to just take it easy and potentially indulge in some hobbies you've fallen out of touch with was so tempting that you simply nodded with a smile before heading back to your dorm.
The sun shone brightly when you left Yaga's office, the day couldn't be more perfect. You capitalized on this, taking the time to finally visit that cafe you had been eyeing for a while, bringing along that fiction book that had been doing nothing but collecting dust on the shelf. You even did some shopping, treating yourself to a new outfit that you hoped to find an excuse to wear sometime soon.
But as evening approached, dark clouds rolled in and rain began to fall. Your eyes watched how the raindrops splattered across the window of your room, creating a repetitive pattern as you held a cup of tea close to your chest, sitting upright, your knees to your chest on your bean bag.
Finally a day off... God knew how badly you and everyone else needed it.
Especially Satoru and Suguru.
You couldn't help the frown that tugged at your lips as you thought of the two men. Of course, you only heard stories of what they went through. Stories of a young girl by the name of Anamai who they couldn't protect, how Suguru had to watch her life being taken right before his very eyes, watching as the blood poured from her head, Satoru who came face-to-face with death and essentially lost his touch with reality, resorting to killing a man, though an assassin, in such a brutal manner.
You hadn't been there to witness any of it, but you saw the evident repercussions and how deeply the events affected them both.
With each passing day, you could see Suguru was looking worse for wear. Deep and dark circles contrasted heavily against pale skin, his hair growing long and unruly, and his body slimming, losing the definition it once had. And even though Satoru and Shoko would seemingly take his lazy excuses at face value when they asked, you were certain that you all knew how the raven-haired boy had something eating away at him.
Then Haibara died, and a hefty state of mourning took over the campus.
You watched as Nanami would have these flashes of anger, seeing several moments of barely contained rage and sadness. You understood his emotions deeply. You felt gutted. There was a part of you that always felt like you built a family within Jujutsu Tech, that these were your people and you cared deeply for each and every single one of them.
You remember the tears you shed silently in your room the night you found out. Remembering the handful of outings you, Suguru, Shoko, Satoru, Nanami, and Haibara went on. Several afternoons and evenings were filled with goofing off... just living life, feeling like normal high schoolers.
He was so young...
You didn't have it in you to go to the morgue to see his body, you weren't sure you could stomach the sight of it all. You knew Suguru went with Nanami, the two of them didn't talk much that day.
You tried to be as supportive as you could. You couldn't stomach the thought of seeing another one of your beloved friends fall, so you tried to be there. There were times you tried talking to Suguru, during the one-off chances you got to be alone with him for a brief couple of moments, but he would brush you off gently, giving you reassurances that you knew were nothing more than poorly constructed lies.
You wanted to be there. But what could you do? As much as it pained you to see him struggle, it's hard to help someone who wasn't ready for it.
You sighed softly.
But Satoru on the other hand of it all, his response was exactly what you expected, and if you were an outsider you would honestly have thought that he was completely unaffected by it all.
His normal demeanor was the same as always, carrying himself around with a lax and carefree attitude.
But, you second-years knew better.
Suddenly Satoru was pushing himself more and more, so much more than he normally did. You saw his determination tenfold and how there was this prominent need to push himself further to master his technique. You watched on as he managed to figure out how to manipulate his Infinity to discern levels of danger, automatically at that. His struggle to use Red was no more, mastering it to a tee and now proudly showing off the fact he was able to utilize the Reverse Cursed Technique as well.
He rose above everyone else so quickly, at such an alarming rate, it left many of you in the dust when it came to strength-
He truly had become the strongest.
But you knew, this all developed from deep-rooted frustration.
You could see as plain as day that he took what happened to Amanai and himself as a hard-hitting failure and a sign of weakness. And he wanted to make sure that it would never happen again.
But as a direct result of his intensive training and remarkable improvements, you got to accompany him on missions less and less, meaning he was away a lot more often than he usually was.
He often went alone returning with an earful of stories the moment he reunited with you, talking about what weak first grade he had to obliterate that day. Talking with exaggerated hand gestures and dramatic delivery as you would laugh at his antics, munching on whatever sweet treat he picked up on his way back to share with you.
At least they had today to take it easy, you thought to yourself. You hoped that they would utilize this opportunity to do something fun to add some color to their life. Especially for Suguru, maybe Satoru or Shoko decided to drag him out somewhere, the thought made you smile for a moment as you took a sip of your tea.
Yeah, a day off for both of them was definitely needed. They deserved to feel like normal people again... even if it was just for a day.
BANG BANG BANG
A loud banging on your door had you jolting and letting out a soft squeak as you nearly spilled your half-cold tea all over your lap. You scramble to set the mug aside on your coffee table at you hurriedly rise to your feet, sliding on your slippers as the knocking begins to grow a bit more restless.
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
"Coming!" you called out, hoping the knocking would finally cease. You swallowed your annoyance, trying to find it within you not to curse out whoever was at the door for giving you a scare as just a few gentle knocks would have sufficed.
You approach your front door and your fingers reach out and wrap around the doorknob, twisting and pulling.
"Satoru?" you blinked, your voice laced with surprise when you opened the door and were greeted with the sight of him.
It wasn't that strange for him to show up unannounced, he did it all the time and you were more than accustomed to the habit. No, what confused you was the fact that he was soaked as if he had been caught in the rain. His hair was matted down, his clothes clinging to his body as waterdrops dripped from his skin.
He didn't have his Infinity activated. Something was clearly wrong.
“Hey—are you okay—” you started, cutting yourself off with a gentle 'hmph!' when Satoru suddenly pulled you into him wordlessly. Your clothes dampened from his own soaked ones and normally you would curse the life out of him for something like this, but you made sure to hold your tongue, knowing very well now wasn't the time for that.
He held you tightly in his arms, and you could feel the shivering of his body against your own, likely from the cold wind nipping at his body from being out in the rain for who knows how long.
You frown, letting him hold you for a few seconds longer before gently patting his back, indicating for him to ease up his hold. You can feel him hesitate, giving you one last gentle squeeze before pulling away. You take the opportunity to close the door behind him, locking it and glancing up at him wordlessly before walking further into your apartment, inviting him further in.
"You're going to catch a cold..." you sigh out loud, moving hurriedly to your dresser, first fetching a towel and tossing it to him, which he catches with ease. He still doesn't speak and it bothers you deeply. The Satoru you were used to had no off switch, he could talk aimlessly for hours without a care. But this unnerving silence, the way it was so blatantly evident that something was bothering him and he wasn't even trying to cover it up— it was strange.
You open up one of your drawers, fetching out one of his shirts and joggers that the two of you agreed to keep in your room given how often he decided to stay over. Closing your drawer, you hold them delicately and make your way back over to Satoru, watching as he dried his hair, his gaze lowered to your floorboards.
"When you're done drying yourself, change into these... I'll get you something warm to drink and then we'll talk, okay?" You murmur softly, handing him the change of clothes, a gentle sympathetic smile on your face as you place a reassuring hand on his arm.
He nodded simply, leaving your side and heading into your bathroom, sliding the door shut behind him. You sigh softly, allowing your smile to drop to a frown as you immediately busy yourself by putting together a cup of hot chocolate. You grabbed a mug from your cupboard, poured in the hot chocolate powder as you heated up some milk, and reluctantly dropped two sugar cubes into the mug, knowing that Satoru would comment on it if you didn't.
As you are pouring in the milk, you hear the sound of your bathroom door sliding open once more, causing your eyes to flicker away. Satoru emerges, looking a little more put together than before, his hair was a ruffled mess but at least he was wearing dry clothes.
"You can hang them by the heater..." you say to him softly, eyes flickering down to the damp clothes that were in his hands while you stirred together the milk, sugar, and hot chocolate powder.
He does just that, gently laying out his clothes before sauntering over to your bed and sitting on top of the plush covers. You follow suit, fingers gently holding the handle of the mug, you walk over to him, leaning down to hand him the warm drink.
He musters up what looks like a weak smile, and you whisper a soft 'you're welcome' before pulling away and moving to go sit back in your beanbag—
But a gentle hand grabs your wrist.
And you meet his gaze.
His normally bright cerulean eyes are dulled down. He looks tired, and there's this specific look on his face— you don't like it—he looks so worn down.
He gently tugs on your arm and you immediately understand. Wordlessly, you sit down next to him on the bed. His free hand laces with yours and you give him a gentle squeeze, watching as he takes a sip of the hot chocolate, a soft sigh leaving his lips from the warmth.
He's running his thumb along your knuckles, lips tugging down into a frown as his eyebrows furrow.
A moment of silence passes.
"Suguru's defected" Satoru finally speaks, his voice devoid of any emotion, it's light, quiet in volume but the words have a sharp edge to them. They hang in the hair for a second, five, then ten—
"What?" you say incredulously, sounding more like a statement rather than a question. It's the only word your mind can conjure, your eyebrows furrowing, wondering if you heard him correctly, wondering if this was one of Satoru's sick pranks that simply went too far.
"He killed an entire village, he killed his parents— I went and saw him, there was this look of indifference on his face like it was nothing to him..." Words started to spill from his lips the more he spoke, not being able to stop since he started, "I wanted to stop him, I knew I had to, he would kill more, I could see it in his eyes but I—"
"Satoru please slow down—" you tried to interject watching as he was getting more and more worked up with each word he spoke. His leg was bouncing rapidly and the hold he had on your hand was starting to become a little painful. His gaze was straight ahead, boring into the wall with this thousand-yard stare. He look petrified.
"But I couldn't, and he knew I wouldn't, he taunted me the bastard essentially telling me to go ahead and just pull the fucking trigger but I-" His voice broke and his eyes screwed shut, his head swinging down as his lips began to tremble.
"I couldn't, (Y/N), I couldn't do it"
Then you see it.
Cascading down his cheek...
...along his pale skin...
...collecting at his jaw...
...dripping onto his freshly changed shirt...
A tear.
Your heart broke.
"I mean how could I...?" he laughs bitterly, "I'm not that heartless, am I?" he continues to laugh, a sorrowful sight as more tears begin to leave his eyes.
"I knew- we all knew something was wrong. And I tried... I swear I tried. But the fucker just wouldn't talk to me" his smile is wobbly, his bottom lip continuing to tremble and he bites down on it, a huff of air leaving his nose as he tries to still himself.
You truly didn't know what to say.
This simply was too much. You had never seen Satoru so vulnerable before. You had never seen him cry. And beyond that, you were still reeling from the news he brought to you. Your mind was running at a million miles per hour, searching for something, anything to say. Begging that somehow the right words that would heal everything would appear and leave your mouth.
But you drew a blank.
So silently, you remove the mug from his hand, setting it on the coffee table next to your long-forgotten cup of tea, and slowly, you wrap your arms around him and hold him close. Hoping that maybe something as childish and as simple as a hug would provide some measly sense of comfort for him.
He breaks.
He's pulling you into his lap, arms tight around your waist and he shoves his face into your neck, stifling his emotions. His breathing is ragged and he's stuttering out nonsense as he tries to find his voice again but fails pathetically.
You felt your entire being shatter at the sight of your best friend being so broken, "This is not your fault, Satoru" you finally whisper, your own voice cracking, wondering if what you said was the right thing to say. "Like you said... you tried, we all tried- we wanted to help him, we really did-" A soft sob leaves your lips at the end of your sentence and the two of you just hold onto each other tighter.
"We can't save those who don't want to be helped.." you resolve, your hand gently running up and down the expanse of his clothed back.
You didn't know what more to say, what could you say at a time like this? Were there any right words? You were still reeling from your own emotions, you didn't know what to make of it all, and you simply felt devastated.
So the two of you sit there, silently crying in each other's arms, mourning over the fact that you lost another one of your friends. Wondering what you both could have done differently, wondering how you could have let Suguru fall so low?
"Stay with me tonight..?" he suddenly speaks again, his voice slightly hoarse as he continues to cling to you tightly.
"Of course..." You whisper back to him, not missing a beat as you attempt to wipe away your tears.
Eventually, the two of you move, making your way underneath the covers of your bed, lying on your side and facing each other. He brought you back to his chest, engulfing you in his arms wordlessly, allowing the two of you to fall into silence for just a few moments.
"Do you remember that mission we had together a couple months ago? The one where we thought we'd be going up against Grade Two Curses" he starts, voice nothing more than a hushed whisper that if you hadn't been so close to him, you may not have heard him.
"Yeah, and it turned out to be Grade One's instead..." you whisper back, briefly recalling your annoyance over the misinformation that you and Satoru were given at the time.
He lets out a soft chuckle and you feel you've earned yourself a small victory.
"That's the one..." he trailed off, letting out a shaky breath before continuing to speak, "we decided to wander about for a bit afterward... and we just- watched the sunset together and talked," he said, his hands trailing up your back to begin playing with the ends of your hair and a soft smile graces your lips at the action.
"Yeah, I remember that" you murmur, recalling the fond memory as you leaned into his chest a little more.
"So-" he begins, cutting himself with a shaky sigh, "...You don't plan on going anywhere, right?" his voice breaks again, and your ears perk up, realizing he was mimicking those exact words he spoke to you that day.
And you're unsure if this is a narrative you're creating in your head, but you realize at that moment that Satoru was just as terrified as you were.
As selfish as it felt, you realized that he also was afraid of losing more people. That there was a part of him that also didn't know if he could stand to watch as another person slipped through his fingers.
That maybe, he was afraid of potentially losing you just as you were scared shitless of losing him.
You felt something stir within you, an emotion that you couldn't quite place as you processed your own thoughts.
"I promise you... you're stuck with me" you say with teary eyes, mimicking your exact answer to him from that evening.
You feel his body tremble and he just holds you tighter, the next few words he speaks coming out shaky and strained.
"...Thank you..."
☆~~~~☆~~~~☆
A/N: well if you read "Ghost of You" - if you know- you know :P
But that is the 2nd and final prequel/addition to the Ghost of You story. I wanted to write these two parts as I thought it would help bring more meaning to the story and that it would also offer a bit more of a deep dive into the dynamic that Satoru and the Reader had, and it'll help sort of justify Satoru's reactions and emotions during the story. But thank you guys for the love and support on this fic! It did so much better than I ever thought it would! I have a few drafts of drabbles that I have been preparing to post but I hope you guys will stick around and see some of the new works I will be posting. Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it!!
I really love how you write Gojo's and the reader's dynamic- I love how you can see how Gojo really does care and how he's making the effort to show his appreciation for her despite not being used to it :')
AHHHH THANK YOU!!
I'm ngl I write their dynamic in a way I imagine myself interacting with Gojo, or I think about how me and some of my close friends interact hehe.
There's a lot of discussions about Gojos characters and how he likely struggles to interact with others genuinely given his upbringing.
I try to keep that in mind, but even so, in the series we see he has his moments even in the hidden inventory arc where he gets emotional and that sort of carefree, happy go lucky, mask slips. So I try to create a balance of his usual jokey self mixed in with moments of vulnerability.
I'm rambling, LMFAO. I love this silly dude so much.
Summary: Suguru defected. Satoru comes to you for comfort.
warnings/tags: Takes place before "The Ghost of You" (which you can read here), and takes place after Warm Afternoons (which you can read here). Mentions events during the Hidden Inventory Arc, reader, and Satoru are close friends, but it's clear there is something more, ANGST, ANGST, ANGST, not a lot of comfort tbh- like a sprinkle of fluff? slight OOC!Gojo, imo teehee
word count: 3.2k (I KEEP GOING OVERBOARD WHEN IT COMES TO THIS MAN)
☆~~~~☆~~~~☆
It was an incredibly rare day off. Classes had been canceled and no missions had been assigned to you. The only flimsy explanation you were given by Yaga was that some form of internal investigation needed to be done within the school and it was in everyone's best interests to keep most of the students away from the main campus.
The news had been a shock and you certainly had several questions—the suddenness, the complete lack of clarity—it simply didn't sit right with you. A part of you wanted to attempt and pry for more details but, truthfully, the allure of finally having a day to just take it easy and potentially indulge in some hobbies you've fallen out of touch with was so tempting that you simply nodded with a smile before heading back to your dorm.
The sun shone brightly when you left Yaga's office, the day couldn't be more perfect. You capitalized on this, taking the time to finally visit that cafe you had been eyeing for a while, bringing along that fiction book that had been doing nothing but collecting dust on the shelf. You even did some shopping, treating yourself to a new outfit that you hoped to find an excuse to wear sometime soon.
But as evening approached, dark clouds rolled in and rain began to fall. Your eyes watched how the raindrops splattered across the window of your room, creating a repetitive pattern as you held a cup of tea close to your chest, sitting upright, your knees to your chest on your bean bag.
Finally a day off... God knew how badly you and everyone else needed it.
Especially Satoru and Suguru.
You couldn't help the frown that tugged at your lips as you thought of the two men. Of course, you only heard stories of what they went through. Stories of a young girl by the name of Anamai who they couldn't protect, how Suguru had to watch her life being taken right before his very eyes, watching as the blood poured from her head, Satoru who came face-to-face with death and essentially lost his touch with reality, resorting to killing a man, though an assassin, in such a brutal manner.
You hadn't been there to witness any of it, but you saw the evident repercussions and how deeply the events affected them both.
With each passing day, you could see Suguru was looking worse for wear. Deep and dark circles contrasted heavily against pale skin, his hair growing long and unruly, and his body slimming, losing the definition it once had. And even though Satoru and Shoko would seemingly take his lazy excuses at face value when they asked, you were certain that you all knew how the raven-haired boy had something eating away at him.
Then Haibara died, and a hefty state of mourning took over the campus.
You watched as Nanami would have these flashes of anger, seeing several moments of barely contained rage and sadness. You understood his emotions deeply. You felt gutted. There was a part of you that always felt like you built a family within Jujutsu Tech, that these were your people and you cared deeply for each and every single one of them.
You remember the tears you shed silently in your room the night you found out. Remembering the handful of outings you, Suguru, Shoko, Satoru, Nanami, and Haibara went on. Several afternoons and evenings were filled with goofing off... just living life, feeling like normal high schoolers.
He was so young...
You didn't have it in you to go to the morgue to see his body, you weren't sure you could stomach the sight of it all. You knew Suguru went with Nanami, the two of them didn't talk much that day.
You tried to be as supportive as you could. You couldn't stomach the thought of seeing another one of your beloved friends fall, so you tried to be there. There were times you tried talking to Suguru, during the one-off chances you got to be alone with him for a brief couple of moments, but he would brush you off gently, giving you reassurances that you knew were nothing more than poorly constructed lies.
You wanted to be there. But what could you do? As much as it pained you to see him struggle, it's hard to help someone who wasn't ready for it.
You sighed softly.
But Satoru on the other hand of it all, his response was exactly what you expected, and if you were an outsider you would honestly have thought that he was completely unaffected by it all.
His normal demeanor was the same as always, carrying himself around with a lax and carefree attitude.
But, you second-years knew better.
Suddenly Satoru was pushing himself more and more, so much more than he normally did. You saw his determination tenfold and how there was this prominent need to push himself further to master his technique. You watched on as he managed to figure out how to manipulate his Infinity to discern levels of danger, automatically at that. His struggle to use Red was no more, mastering it to a tee and now proudly showing off the fact he was able to utilize the Reverse Cursed Technique as well.
He rose above everyone else so quickly, at such an alarming rate, it left many of you in the dust when it came to strength-
He truly had become the strongest.
But you knew, this all developed from deep-rooted frustration.
You could see as plain as day that he took what happened to Amanai and himself as a hard-hitting failure and a sign of weakness. And he wanted to make sure that it would never happen again.
But as a direct result of his intensive training and remarkable improvements, you got to accompany him on missions less and less, meaning he was away a lot more often than he usually was.
He often went alone returning with an earful of stories the moment he reunited with you, talking about what weak first grade he had to obliterate that day. Talking with exaggerated hand gestures and dramatic delivery as you would laugh at his antics, munching on whatever sweet treat he picked up on his way back to share with you.
At least they had today to take it easy, you thought to yourself. You hoped that they would utilize this opportunity to do something fun to add some color to their life. Especially for Suguru, maybe Satoru or Shoko decided to drag him out somewhere, the thought made you smile for a moment as you took a sip of your tea.
Yeah, a day off for both of them was definitely needed. They deserved to feel like normal people again... even if it was just for a day.
BANG BANG BANG
A loud banging on your door had you jolting and letting out a soft squeak as you nearly spilled your half-cold tea all over your lap. You scramble to set the mug aside on your coffee table at you hurriedly rise to your feet, sliding on your slippers as the knocking begins to grow a bit more restless.
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
"Coming!" you called out, hoping the knocking would finally cease. You swallowed your annoyance, trying to find it within you not to curse out whoever was at the door for giving you a scare as just a few gentle knocks would have sufficed.
You approach your front door and your fingers reach out and wrap around the doorknob, twisting and pulling.
"Satoru?" you blinked, your voice laced with surprise when you opened the door and were greeted with the sight of him.
It wasn't that strange for him to show up unannounced, he did it all the time and you were more than accustomed to the habit. No, what confused you was the fact that he was soaked as if he had been caught in the rain. His hair was matted down, his clothes clinging to his body as waterdrops dripped from his skin.
He didn't have his Infinity activated. Something was clearly wrong.
“Hey—are you okay—” you started, cutting yourself off with a gentle 'hmph!' when Satoru suddenly pulled you into him wordlessly. Your clothes dampened from his own soaked ones and normally you would curse the life out of him for something like this, but you made sure to hold your tongue, knowing very well now wasn't the time for that.
He held you tightly in his arms, and you could feel the shivering of his body against your own, likely from the cold wind nipping at his body from being out in the rain for who knows how long.
You frown, letting him hold you for a few seconds longer before gently patting his back, indicating for him to ease up his hold. You can feel him hesitate, giving you one last gentle squeeze before pulling away. You take the opportunity to close the door behind him, locking it and glancing up at him wordlessly before walking further into your apartment, inviting him further in.
"You're going to catch a cold..." you sigh out loud, moving hurriedly to your dresser, first fetching a towel and tossing it to him, which he catches with ease. He still doesn't speak and it bothers you deeply. The Satoru you were used to had no off switch, he could talk aimlessly for hours without a care. But this unnerving silence, the way it was so blatantly evident that something was bothering him and he wasn't even trying to cover it up— it was strange.
You open up one of your drawers, fetching out one of his shirts and joggers that the two of you agreed to keep in your room given how often he decided to stay over. Closing your drawer, you hold them delicately and make your way back over to Satoru, watching as he dried his hair, his gaze lowered to your floorboards.
"When you're done drying yourself, change into these... I'll get you something warm to drink and then we'll talk, okay?" You murmur softly, handing him the change of clothes, a gentle sympathetic smile on your face as you place a reassuring hand on his arm.
He nodded simply, leaving your side and heading into your bathroom, sliding the door shut behind him. You sigh softly, allowing your smile to drop to a frown as you immediately busy yourself by putting together a cup of hot chocolate. You grabbed a mug from your cupboard, poured in the hot chocolate powder as you heated up some milk, and reluctantly dropped two sugar cubes into the mug, knowing that Satoru would comment on it if you didn't.
As you are pouring in the milk, you hear the sound of your bathroom door sliding open once more, causing your eyes to flicker away. Satoru emerges, looking a little more put together than before, his hair was a ruffled mess but at least he was wearing dry clothes.
"You can hang them by the heater..." you say to him softly, eyes flickering down to the damp clothes that were in his hands while you stirred together the milk, sugar, and hot chocolate powder.
He does just that, gently laying out his clothes before sauntering over to your bed and sitting on top of the plush covers. You follow suit, fingers gently holding the handle of the mug, you walk over to him, leaning down to hand him the warm drink.
He musters up what looks like a weak smile, and you whisper a soft 'you're welcome' before pulling away and moving to go sit back in your beanbag—
But a gentle hand grabs your wrist.
And you meet his gaze.
His normally bright cerulean eyes are dulled down. He looks tired, and there's this specific look on his face— you don't like it—he looks so worn down.
He gently tugs on your arm and you immediately understand. Wordlessly, you sit down next to him on the bed. His free hand laces with yours and you give him a gentle squeeze, watching as he takes a sip of the hot chocolate, a soft sigh leaving his lips from the warmth.
He's running his thumb along your knuckles, lips tugging down into a frown as his eyebrows furrow.
A moment of silence passes.
"Suguru's defected" Satoru finally speaks, his voice devoid of any emotion, it's light, quiet in volume but the words have a sharp edge to them. They hang in the hair for a second, five, then ten—
"What?" you say incredulously, sounding more like a statement rather than a question. It's the only word your mind can conjure, your eyebrows furrowing, wondering if you heard him correctly, wondering if this was one of Satoru's sick pranks that simply went too far.
"He killed an entire village, he killed his parents— I went and saw him, there was this look of indifference on his face like it was nothing to him..." Words started to spill from his lips the more he spoke, not being able to stop since he started, "I wanted to stop him, I knew I had to, he would kill more, I could see it in his eyes but I—"
"Satoru please slow down—" you tried to interject watching as he was getting more and more worked up with each word he spoke. His leg was bouncing rapidly and the hold he had on your hand was starting to become a little painful. His gaze was straight ahead, boring into the wall with this thousand-yard stare. He look petrified.
"But I couldn't, and he knew I wouldn't, he taunted me the bastard essentially telling me to go ahead and just pull the fucking trigger but I-" His voice broke and his eyes screwed shut, his head swinging down as his lips began to tremble.
"I couldn't, (Y/N), I couldn't do it"
Then you see it.
Cascading down his cheek...
...along his pale skin...
...collecting at his jaw...
...dripping onto his freshly changed shirt...
A tear.
Your heart broke.
"I mean how could I...?" he laughs bitterly, "I'm not that heartless, am I?" he continues to laugh, a sorrowful sight as more tears begin to leave his eyes.
"I knew- we all knew something was wrong. And I tried... I swear I tried. But the fucker just wouldn't talk to me" his smile is wobbly, his bottom lip continuing to tremble and he bites down on it, a huff of air leaving his nose as he tries to still himself.
You truly didn't know what to say.
This simply was too much. You had never seen Satoru so vulnerable before. You had never seen him cry. And beyond that, you were still reeling from the news he brought to you. Your mind was running at a million miles per hour, searching for something, anything to say. Begging that somehow the right words that would heal everything would appear and leave your mouth.
But you drew a blank.
So silently, you remove the mug from his hand, setting it on the coffee table next to your long-forgotten cup of tea, and slowly, you wrap your arms around him and hold him close. Hoping that maybe something as childish and as simple as a hug would provide some measly sense of comfort for him.
He breaks.
He's pulling you into his lap, arms tight around your waist and he shoves his face into your neck, stifling his emotions. His breathing is ragged and he's stuttering out nonsense as he tries to find his voice again but fails pathetically.
You felt your entire being shatter at the sight of your best friend being so broken, "This is not your fault, Satoru" you finally whisper, your own voice cracking, wondering if what you said was the right thing to say. "Like you said... you tried, we all tried- we wanted to help him, we really did-" A soft sob leaves your lips at the end of your sentence and the two of you just hold onto each other tighter.
"We can't save those who don't want to be helped.." you resolve, your hand gently running up and down the expanse of his clothed back.
You didn't know what more to say, what could you say at a time like this? Were there any right words? You were still reeling from your own emotions, you didn't know what to make of it all, and you simply felt devastated.
So the two of you sit there, silently crying in each other's arms, mourning over the fact that you lost another one of your friends. Wondering what you both could have done differently, wondering how you could have let Suguru fall so low?
"Stay with me tonight..?" he suddenly speaks again, his voice slightly hoarse as he continues to cling to you tightly.
"Of course..." You whisper back to him, not missing a beat as you attempt to wipe away your tears.
Eventually, the two of you move, making your way underneath the covers of your bed, lying on your side and facing each other. He brought you back to his chest, engulfing you in his arms wordlessly, allowing the two of you to fall into silence for just a few moments.
"Do you remember that mission we had together a couple months ago? The one where we thought we'd be going up against Grade Two Curses" he starts, voice nothing more than a hushed whisper that if you hadn't been so close to him, you may not have heard him.
"Yeah, and it turned out to be Grade One's instead..." you whisper back, briefly recalling your annoyance over the misinformation that you and Satoru were given at the time.
He lets out a soft chuckle and you feel you've earned yourself a small victory.
"That's the one..." he trailed off, letting out a shaky breath before continuing to speak, "we decided to wander about for a bit afterward... and we just- watched the sunset together and talked," he said, his hands trailing up your back to begin playing with the ends of your hair and a soft smile graces your lips at the action.
"Yeah, I remember that" you murmur, recalling the fond memory as you leaned into his chest a little more.
"So-" he begins, cutting himself with a shaky sigh, "...You don't plan on going anywhere, right?" his voice breaks again, and your ears perk up, realizing he was mimicking those exact words he spoke to you that day.
And you're unsure if this is a narrative you're creating in your head, but you realize at that moment that Satoru was just as terrified as you were.
As selfish as it felt, you realized that he also was afraid of losing more people. That there was a part of him that also didn't know if he could stand to watch as another person slipped through his fingers.
That maybe, he was afraid of potentially losing you just as you were scared shitless of losing him.
You felt something stir within you, an emotion that you couldn't quite place as you processed your own thoughts.
"I promise you... you're stuck with me" you say with teary eyes, mimicking your exact answer to him from that evening.
You feel his body tremble and he just holds you tighter, the next few words he speaks coming out shaky and strained.
"...Thank you..."
☆~~~~☆~~~~☆
A/N: well if you read "Ghost of You" - if you know- you know :P
But that is the 2nd and final prequel/addition to the Ghost of You story. I wanted to write these two parts as I thought it would help bring more meaning to the story and that it would also offer a bit more of a deep dive into the dynamic that Satoru and the Reader had, and it'll help sort of justify Satoru's reactions and emotions during the story. But thank you guys for the love and support on this fic! It did so much better than I ever thought it would! I have a few drafts of drabbles that I have been preparing to post but I hope you guys will stick around and see some of the new works I will be posting. Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it!!
Summary: After wrapping up a more than pesky mission, you and Satoru decide to laze about for a few hours before returning to Jujutsu Tech... which leads to Satoru being a lot more sentimental than you both are used to.
warnings/tags: Takes place before "The Ghost of You" (which you can read here), this is just a further look into the reader's dynamic with Satoru :), reader and Satoru are close friends, and themes of unspoken feelings, it's like pretty clear that they like each other.
word count: 1.9k (THIS IS MUCH LONGER THEN I THOUGHT OOPS)
☆~~~~☆~~~~☆
"God that was so annoying"
Your voice slices through the tranquil evening, disrupting and overtaking the buzz of cicadas and the gentle symphony of the wind as you approach a lonesome bench that stands planted before a river. The sky is a canvas of orange and yellow as the sun dips towards the horizon, its warmth kissing your skin. A gentle breeze rustles through the grass and nearby foliage, creating a mesmerizing, smooth oceanic hum that cushions your approaching footsteps.
A soft snicker meets your ears and you can't stop yourself from rolling your eyes as you prepare for one of his usual snarky remarks.
"You got knocked on your ass pretty hard. You sure you're okay?" Satoru speaks, his eyes meeting yours as you sit beside him on the bench. He sports a teasing grin but his eyes betray his demeanor as you easily spot the specks of concern lingering in them.
The mission the two of you had wrapped up no more than an hour ago had been undeniably frustrating. What was supposed to be a routine exorcism of two second-grade curses had turned into a chaotic struggle against two first-grades, both capable of using cursed techniques. While it was nothing more than a small adjustment for Satoru given his well-praised Infinity and Six Eyes, you definitely had been taken off-guard. Not anticipating the usage of cursed techniques and the sheer force behind them led to a few cuts and bruises that honestly stung more from frustration than pain.
You couldn't shake the feeling that you had been set up for failure by being fed false information by Yaga.
Scoffing at his words, you give his arm a gentle nudge with your elbow, sinking further into the curve of the bench, "Shut up, I was just caught off guard for a moment..." you murmur before a soft smile tugs at your lips, "But I'm okay. Just a few scrapes here and there.... I'll see if Shoko can patch me up when we get back..."
Satoru simply nods at your reassurances, a soft hum escaping his lips as he gives you a once over as if to confirm that you were actually telling him the truth.
It was annoyingly stupid how he tended to do this. He had these moments where he seemingly stared into you, seeing through your being, opening you up, dissecting and picking apart your every feature.
It made you feel so exposed—being under the microscope that was his cerulean eyes. His eyes were breathtaking, there was no doubt about that, but these moments made you realize how those blue oceans could be oh-so intimidating and you briefly wondered if this is how most cursed spirits felt when being face to face with his power.
You shudder slightly, and he quirks an eyebrow, his head tilting to the side ever so slightly before grinning, "what?" he asks, though his eyes never leave you.
You shake your head waving him off wordlessly, and you can't help but smile just a little wider before bringing the straw of your smoothie that you bought beforehand to your lips. You hum softly as the cold sweetness coats your tongue, bringing a refreshing calm.
After spending so much time with him since the two of you met in your first year, you've come to understand that this simply was his way of showing concern. He never was one for soft words or heartfelt expressions; his awkward attempts at sentiment were as endearing as they were clumsy.
"You don't think the higher-ups will be mad if we're a few hours late with our report, do you?" He then asks, shifting his gaze off of you and watching the sun through his dark round sunglasses.
You let out a soft chuckle, wordlessly pressing the straw of your drink to Satoru's lips watching him take a sip without hesitation.
He hums, smiling softly as the cool liquid coats his tongue. "Mango?" he inquires, his tone light and curious.
"Mhmm" you hum out, bringing the straw to your lips as he finishes taking another sip.
His arm slips around your shoulders, drawing you closer to his side. You find yourself leaning into him, the closeness feeling as natural as breathing. It's a simple gesture, but it's one that feels like a second skin for both of you. The way Satoru effortlessly bridges the gap between you two speaks volumes more than any words could.
You were magnetic to him. Being close to you, talking to you, being in your presence, it all just felt so correct, it felt so easy. He honestly couldn't pinpoint when this physical aspect of your friendship first developed...
Maybe it was when welcomed him back with a bone-crushing hug after he had been away on a 2-week mission with Suguru. Maybe it was when he brushed and braided your hair during one of your many sleepovers in your dorm room, the two of you sitting on your bed, his long fingers, delicately touching your hair and somehow perfectly braiding your hair despite him insisting it was his first time.
...Maybe it was when he awoke the following morning, with you in his arms, your heading resting on his chest and your arms around his waist.
He really wasn't sure when it became so normalized, but slowly, he was getting to a point where he stopped questioning why. When everything felt so right, why did he need to question it? This was just the way things were between you two.
Even though he knew for a fact that you weren't this way with anyone else just as he was only this way with you, there was no need to think too deeply about the implications, right?
"I'm sure they may have a lot to say if you're gone for too long, Mr. golden child of the jujutsu world," you remarked sarcastically, finally responding to his question with a smirk. He rolled his eyes at you, pursing his lips at your words, "Me on the other hand, I don't think they're all that concerned.." you then grumble, clearly still irritated by the miscommunication that occurred during the mission.
He laughs, the rumbling of his chest being felt against your arm as he saw through you so easily. "Don't pout too much like that, you'll get wrinkles and look like a grandpa," he teased, the hand around your shoulders reaching up to pull at your cheek. You immediately hiss swatting his hand away, "...don't pinch me, asshole," you said through teeth which only earned you another laugh from him.
You could be so crude at times, and he frankly adored that about you, because, he was the same. He wondered if that's why he felt so drawn to you since day one. He liked how you carried yourself with this lightheartedness, the way you were just so effortlessly... you. Dead serious when you needed to be, strong, dependable but also the way you're able to keep up with him. Sending snarky remarks right back at him and telling jokes that were so stupid he would genuinely laugh until his stomach hurt.
He smiled softly to himself, feeling a gentle warmth spread in his chest.
His eyes shifted to your face and he just... took you in.
Watching as you happily sipped on your smoothie, your fingers gently smoothing out the spot where he pinched you. You definitely looked a little more roughed up than usual... but you still... looked so nice.
As your eyes shifted to meet his gaze, he noticed a small scratch on your cheek, and thoughtlessly, his long fingers gently took hold of your chin. He tilted your face to the side ever so slightly, his eyes tracing along the split skin, taking note of the redness and irritation.
You nearly choked on your drink as your fingers gripped your cup a little tighter, crinkling the plastic. Not a word was shared as you looked at each other and you felt your entire being start to warm, a sense of shyness growing deep within you.
You awkwardly laughed, "You're acting like a creep, Satoru" you joked, trying to lighten the air and get some air into your lungs. His eyes snapped back to yours and you noticed how his eyes widened slightly as if he only just realized how intimately he was touching you.
"Sorry..." he murmurs, but not making any sort of attempt to remove his gentle hold on you.
His lips parted, then closed. His eyebrows furrowed, and his throat bobbed when he swallowed. You took note of each of these actions as they played out before you.
"You know.." he suddenly says after a beat of silence passes, his voice trailing off as his mind searches for the right words to say. He wanted to say something, he knew he wanted to express something to you. But he wasn't used to this, not used to soft words of gratitude and appreciation. He'd grown accustomed to interacting with others rather bluntly or in a lighthearted, sarcastic, joking manner, but ever since he met you, it was as if he had no choice but to break this routine of his.
He furrowed his eyebrows again. Fuck...He really was trying.
"I really do appreciate us... you-" he tried to continue, pouting slightly as he stumbled over his words, which led to you letting out a lighthearted chuckle.
"Are you being sentimental with me right now, Satoru?" you grinned widely, words carrying a teasing undertone as you attempted to mask your growing fondness.
He groans slightly, finally removing his hand from your face and letting it drop to your shoulder. "Could you not right now?" he huffs out, "I'm trying to say something nice to you".
"Sorry, sorry," you giggle softly "I know you're trying...I appreciate you too Satoru" You smile softly at him, trying to reassure him that you understood what he was trying to communicate.
"It's not just that," he interjects, sighing softly as his free hand runs through his snowy locks and makes a mess out of them, "It's just nice... to have someone who simply, understands," his voice is quiet and delicate and his words are careful, coming out slow and precise.
And there's a certain look in his eyes that you couldn't quite decipher.
"Having you here, having you with me... that means a lot to me... I know I don't normally say shit like this- but I do really appreciate what we have..." His eyes are now focused on the darkening sky as the sun officially says its goodbye, setting past the horizon.
"I hope you don't plan on going anywhere" he then chuckles, his smooth demeanor returning as fast as it left as he gives you a lopsided grin.
You're rendered speechless for a moment.
There's a lot you wanted to say, certain feelings that are just dying to be expressed sitting right at the tip of your tongue as you can't help but melt from Satoru's words.
But you let them sit there, those will be for another day. When it's right.
"You're stuck with me, that's for sure" You grin widely at him watching as his smile grows at your reassurance.
"Good," he says, gently ruffling your hair which has you whining softly. "...Let's head back, gotta get you all fixed up before you start crying from the pain" he snickers, removing his arm from you and standing up from the bench, offering his hand to you.
You laugh softly, taking his hand as he helps you to your feet. "Shut up..." you murmur before shoving his shoulder slightly once again.
The two of you walk side by side in a comfortable silence, the evening growing cooler and the river’s gentle rhythm growing distant. You couldn't help but smile to yourself, the fondness in your heart continuing to grow the longer you mauled over Satoru's words.
Yeah... you definitely didn't plan on going anywhere.
☆~~~☆~~~☆
A/N: I went overboard with this I can't lie LMFAO. I'm so sorry about the delay on this, I can't lie I've been putting it off because I have been drawing Gojo instead of writing about him hehehehe. This is 1 of 2 snippets I have planned as little prequels to "The Ghost of You" I will try to work on the next one as soon as possible. It will be ANGSTTYYYYY so prepare yourselves for it if you are interested in reading it!
also- like completely unrelated but I learned about the ask feature! So you guys can send me fun little messages now yippie!!
Taglist: @hyori2 @kalulakunundrum @smolbeanzzz @numblytemporary @satxoru
(I hope I didn't miss anyone LMFAO)
Summary: After wrapping up a more than pesky mission, you and Satoru decide to laze about for a few hours before returning to Jujutsu Tech... which leads to Satoru being a lot more sentimental than you both are used to.
warnings/tags: Takes place before "The Ghost of You" (which you can read here), this is just a further look into the reader's dynamic with Satoru :), reader and Satoru are close friends, and themes of unspoken feelings, it's like pretty clear that they like each other.
word count: 1.9k (THIS IS MUCH LONGER THEN I THOUGHT OOPS)
☆~~~~☆~~~~☆
"God that was so annoying"
Your voice slices through the tranquil evening, disrupting and overtaking the buzz of cicadas and the gentle symphony of the wind as you approach a lonesome bench that stands planted before a river. The sky is a canvas of orange and yellow as the sun dips towards the horizon, its warmth kissing your skin. A gentle breeze rustles through the grass and nearby foliage, creating a mesmerizing, smooth oceanic hum that cushions your approaching footsteps.
A soft snicker meets your ears and you can't stop yourself from rolling your eyes as you prepare for one of his usual snarky remarks.
"You got knocked on your ass pretty hard. You sure you're okay?" Satoru speaks, his eyes meeting yours as you sit beside him on the bench. He sports a teasing grin but his eyes betray his demeanor as you easily spot the specks of concern lingering in them.
The mission the two of you had wrapped up no more than an hour ago had been undeniably frustrating. What was supposed to be a routine exorcism of two second-grade curses had turned into a chaotic struggle against two first-grades, both capable of using cursed techniques. While it was nothing more than a small adjustment for Satoru given his well-praised Infinity and Six Eyes, you definitely had been taken off-guard. Not anticipating the usage of cursed techniques and the sheer force behind them led to a few cuts and bruises that honestly stung more from frustration than pain.
You couldn't shake the feeling that you had been set up for failure by being fed false information by Yaga.
Scoffing at his words, you give his arm a gentle nudge with your elbow, sinking further into the curve of the bench, "Shut up, I was just caught off guard for a moment..." you murmur before a soft smile tugs at your lips, "But I'm okay. Just a few scrapes here and there.... I'll see if Shoko can patch me up when we get back..."
Satoru simply nods at your reassurances, a soft hum escaping his lips as he gives you a once over as if to confirm that you were actually telling him the truth.
It was annoyingly stupid how he tended to do this. He had these moments where he seemingly stared into you, seeing through your being, opening you up, dissecting and picking apart your every feature.
It made you feel so exposed—being under the microscope that was his cerulean eyes. His eyes were breathtaking, there was no doubt about that, but these moments made you realize how those blue oceans could be oh-so intimidating and you briefly wondered if this is how most cursed spirits felt when being face to face with his power.
You shudder slightly, and he quirks an eyebrow, his head tilting to the side ever so slightly before grinning, "what?" he asks, though his eyes never leave you.
You shake your head waving him off wordlessly, and you can't help but smile just a little wider before bringing the straw of your smoothie that you bought beforehand to your lips. You hum softly as the cold sweetness coats your tongue, bringing a refreshing calm.
After spending so much time with him since the two of you met in your first year, you've come to understand that this simply was his way of showing concern. He never was one for soft words or heartfelt expressions; his awkward attempts at sentiment were as endearing as they were clumsy.
"You don't think the higher-ups will be mad if we're a few hours late with our report, do you?" He then asks, shifting his gaze off of you and watching the sun through his dark round sunglasses.
You let out a soft chuckle, wordlessly pressing the straw of your drink to Satoru's lips watching him take a sip without hesitation.
He hums, smiling softly as the cool liquid coats his tongue. "Mango?" he inquires, his tone light and curious.
"Mhmm" you hum out, bringing the straw to your lips as he finishes taking another sip.
His arm slips around your shoulders, drawing you closer to his side. You find yourself leaning into him, the closeness feeling as natural as breathing. It's a simple gesture, but it's one that feels like a second skin for both of you. The way Satoru effortlessly bridges the gap between you two speaks volumes more than any words could.
You were magnetic to him. Being close to you, talking to you, being in your presence, it all just felt so correct, it felt so easy. He honestly couldn't pinpoint when this physical aspect of your friendship first developed...
Maybe it was when you welcomed him back with a bone-crushing hug after he had been away on a 2-week mission with Suguru. Maybe it was when he brushed and braided your hair during one of your many sleepovers in your dorm room, the two of you sitting on your bed, his long fingers, delicately touching your hair and somehow perfectly braiding your hair despite him insisting it was his first time.
...Maybe it was when he awoke the following morning, with you in his arms, your head resting on his chest and your arms around his waist.
He really wasn't sure when it became so normalized, but slowly, he was getting to a point where he stopped questioning why. When everything felt so right, why did he need to question it? This was just the way things were between you two.
Even though he knew for a fact that you weren't this way with anyone else just as he was only this way with you, there was no need to think too deeply about the implications, right?
"I'm sure they may have a lot to say if you're gone for too long, Mr. golden child of the jujutsu world," you remarked sarcastically, finally responding to his question with a smirk. He rolled his eyes at you, pursing his lips at your words, "Me on the other hand, I don't think they're all that concerned.." you then grumble, clearly still irritated by the miscommunication that occurred during the mission.
He laughs, the rumbling of his chest being felt against your arm as he saw through you so easily. "Don't pout too much like that, you'll get wrinkles and look like a grandpa," he teased, the hand around your shoulders reaching up to pull at your cheek. You immediately hiss swatting his hand away, "...don't pinch me, asshole," you said through teeth which only earned you another laugh from him.
You could be so crude at times, and he frankly adored that about you, because, he was the same. He wondered if that's why he felt so drawn to you since day one. He liked how you carried yourself with this lightheartedness, the way you were just so effortlessly... you. Dead serious when you needed to be, strong, dependable, but also the way you were able to keep up with him. Sending snarky remarks right back at him and telling jokes that were so stupid, he would genuinely laugh until his stomach hurt.
He smiled softly to himself, feeling a gentle warmth spread in his chest.
His eyes shifted to your face and he just... took you in.
Watching as you happily sipped on your smoothie, your fingers gently smoothing out the spot where he pinched you. You definitely looked a little more roughed up than usual... but you still... looked so nice.
As your eyes shifted to meet his gaze, he noticed a small scratch on your cheek, and thoughtlessly, his long fingers gently took hold of your chin. He tilted your face to the side ever so slightly, his eyes tracing along the split skin, taking note of the redness and irritation.
You nearly choked on your drink as your fingers gripped your cup a little tighter, crinkling the plastic. Not a word was shared as you looked at each other and you felt your entire being start to warm, a sense of shyness growing deep within you.
You awkwardly laughed, "You're acting like a creep, Satoru" you joked, trying to lighten the air and get some air into your lungs. His eyes snapped back to yours and you noticed how his eyes widened slightly as if he only just realized how intimately he was touching you.
"Sorry..." he murmurs, but not making any sort of attempt to remove his gentle hold on you.
His lips parted, then closed. His eyebrows furrowed, and his throat bobbed when he swallowed. You took note of each of these actions as they played out before you.
"You know.." he suddenly says after a beat of silence passes, his voice trailing off as his mind searches for the right words to say. He wanted to say something, he knew he wanted to express something to you. But he wasn't used to this, not used to soft words of gratitude and appreciation. He'd grown accustomed to interacting with others rather bluntly or in a lighthearted, sarcastic, joking manner, but ever since he met you, it was as if he had no choice but to break this routine of his.
He furrowed his eyebrows again. Fuck...He really was trying.
"I really do appreciate us... you-" he tried to continue, pouting slightly as he stumbled over his words, which led to you letting out a lighthearted chuckle.
"Are you being sentimental with me right now, Satoru?" you grinned widely, words carrying a teasing undertone as you attempted to mask your growing fondness.
He groans slightly, finally removing his hand from your face and letting it drop to your shoulder. "Could you not right now?" he huffs out, "I'm trying to say something nice to you".
And there's a certain look in his eyes that you couldn't quite decipher.
"Sorry, sorry," you giggle softly "I know you're trying...I appreciate you too Satoru" You smile softly at him, trying to reassure him that you understood what he was trying to communicate.
"It's not just that," he interjects, sighing softly as his free hand runs through his snowy locks and makes a mess out of them, "It's just nice... to have someone who simply, understands," his voice is quiet and delicate and his words are careful, coming out slow and precise.
"Having you here, having you with me... that means a lot to me... I know I don't normally say shit like this- but I do really appreciate what we have..." His eyes are now focused on the darkening sky as the sun officially says its goodbye, setting past the horizon.
"I hope you don't plan on going anywhere" he then chuckles, his smooth demeanor returning as fast as it left as he gives you a lopsided grin.
You're rendered speechless for a moment.
There's a lot you wanted to say, certain feelings that are just dying to be expressed sitting right at the tip of your tongue as you can't help but melt from Satoru's words.
But you let them sit there, those will be for another day. When it's right.
"You're stuck with me, that's for sure" You grin widely at him watching as his smile grows at your reassurance.
"Good," he says, gently ruffling your hair which has you whining softly. "...Let's head back, gotta get you all fixed up before you start crying from the pain" he snickers, removing his arm from you and standing up from the bench, offering his hand to you.
You laugh softly, taking his hand as he helps you to your feet. "Shut up..." you murmur before shoving his shoulder slightly once again.
The two of you walk side by side in a comfortable silence, the evening growing cooler and the river’s gentle rhythm growing distant. You couldn't help but smile to yourself, the fondness in your heart continuing to grow the longer you mauled over Satoru's words.
Yeah... you definitely didn't plan on going anywhere.
☆~~~☆~~~☆
A/N: I went overboard with this I can't lie LMFAO. I'm so sorry about the delay on this, I can't lie I've been putting it off because I have been drawing Gojo instead of writing about him hehehehe. This is 1 of 2 snippets I have planned as little prequels to "The Ghost of You" I will try to work on the next one as soon as possible. It will be ANGSTTYYYYY so prepare yourselves for it if you are interested in reading it!
also- like completely unrelated but I learned about the ask feature! So you guys can send me fun little messages now yippie!!
Summary: Mechmaru manages to succeed in informing the higher-ups of Jujutsu Tech about the patchwork curse's plan to seal the strongest sorcerer, Gojo Satoru. With this, the higher-ups begin formulating a plan on how to secure their victory and take advantage of the information bestowed onto them. However, one thing Gojo could not have thought to be suggested was, you, who supposedly died over a decade ago.
warnings/tags: Takes place before the Shibuya incident arc. Brief mention of events that took place in JJK0. Mentions of death. There is angst but also fluff! Soft sex, Satoru really loves you :(( Friends to lovers(?) SMUT. MDNI.
word count: 10k+ (I NEED HELP)
Bonus Prequels: i. Warm Afternoons ii. Cold Nights
☆~~~~☆~~~~☆
"A sorcerer that's able to amplify the cursed techniques of others? Something like that is possible?"
Itadori Yuji's eyebrows furrowed as he voiced his question, contemplating the words that Principal Yaga had just spoken to the assembled group of Jujutsu students and sorcerers.
The atmosphere in the meeting room was tense and undeniably suffocating. It had been a matter of hours since Mechumaru's warning had been delivered. A plan to seal away the strongest sorcerer, Gojo Satoru, into the prison realm, and to bring complete and utter chaos to Shibuya and its civilians on October 31st.
Those gathered in the room were fully aware of how crucial this advantage was and how important it was to utilize it. However, there was also a mutual understanding that the perpetrators had to be aware of their own disadvantage, and would have to find some way to compensate for their slip up.
This brought an endless amount of "what ifs" into question.
"Yes. Someone like that exists with such a technique. The ability to not only limitlessly amplify their own raw cursed energy but to amplify the cursed energy and the techniques used by anyone they come into contact with" Yaga responds to Itadori's question.
"What if we just simply don't send Gojo-Sensei into Shibuya?" Itadori then says with such carelessness, as if it's the most obvious answer in the world. "If that person can amplify their energy limitlessly, don't we basically have our own super soldier who can overpower anyone alone?"
It is then Megumi who cuts in with a calm rebuttal, his eyes narrowing slightly. "It's not about having unlimited cursed energy, Itadori. There are inherent limitations to such abilities. Even for someone who can amplify cursed energy, there's a threshold to how much they can sustain. Using cursed energy at such heightened levels consecutively poses significant risks and exacts a toll on the user."
Yaga sends a slight nod in Megumi's direction, confirming the information he shared with Itadori. "It is also unlikely our perpetrators will reveal themselves unless Satoru is present. Rushing in prematurely not only risks escalating the danger but also endangers innocent civilians, who could become casualties as a means to negotiate Satoru's presence."
A beat of silence fills the air.
"We, however, are getting ahead of ourselves," Yaga then continued, redirecting the focus "We have yet to establish contact with this sorcerer".
Gojo had been uncharacteristically silent amidst this discussion despite it heavily revolving around him. Between the relentless back and forth of his peers and students who each were chiming in with their own individual questions, wonders, and suggestions - he sat in his chair, arms crossed, leaned back, and sporting an expression that no one other than Shoko Ieiri could understand.
Her tired eyes fell onto the snow-haired man, noticing his stiffness and unusual quietness. She too understood where this conversation was headed and what words were about to be announced.
"Some of you already know who I am talking about. Yes. (L/N), (Y/N). A past student here at Jujutsu Tech, who was once presumed dead, has been rumored to be alive," Yaga finally discloses, his tone laced with a certain firmness. "And over the course of several years, we have finally managed to narrow down her general whereabouts".
Satoru felt his jaw clench ever so slightly. Shoko notices.
"If we wish to minimize casualties and maximize our strength- It is crucial that we locate her and attempt to persuade her to join our cause" Yaga continues with determination.
Chatter began to fill the room as Yaga took a momentary pause, his gaze shifting onto Satoru as if to gauge his reaction. The topic at hand brought forth several mixed reactions. Rumors in the form of hushed words floated around the room, some true some false as some even questioned who you were and how you met your demise.
But all Satoru could hear was your name. Repeated. Over and over.
...You... were alive...
"However," Yaga broke the silence once more, his voice cutting through the room and his gaze remaining on the blindfolded man, "we can't just send anyone to convince her. We suspect there is a veil with special conditions where she resides."
Satoru's teeth grits and his fingers dig into his sleeves ever so slightly.
"Only Special Graded Sorcerers can enter and leave the veil as they please. Though, this won't affect the plan I originally wanted to propose."
"There is only one person we can send in after her."
"Satoru."
---
It was a tranquil scene. A vast expanse of green and rolling hills for the eye to see. An empty clearing surrounded by trees. The grass swayed gently with the wind, creating this ocean-like rhythm to it. Leaves danced through the air, being carried along effortlessly and brushing past Satoru's figure.
And of course, at the utmost center, a pitch-black dome stood in contrast to its surroundings. A veil.
This was the alleged location of where you resided.
The meeting concluded with Yaga requesting that everyone but him and Satoru leave the room. As individuals shuffled towards the exit, Satoru's gaze met Shoko's briefly as she sent a small sympathetic nod in his direction. She knew better than to try and console him or give him a mess of strung-together comforting words.
His lips thinned in response, not giving any further acknowledgment to her gesture. They both knew he wasn't one to show his underlying emotions to anyone.
However, he found it surprisingly difficult to suppress his personal feelings as Yaga disclosed your potential coordinates to him. Normally, he was able to compartmentalize these sorts of things in his brain without worry. Dethatching his emotions from the work he had to do because, at the end of the day, these were the things that simply needed to be done.
"I understand how you may feel, Satoru. But I know you understand the importance of her recruitment and why you have to be the one that goes after her"
It just had to be done. There was no negotiating that.
He allowed a faux wide smile to take over his features as his eyes stared at Yaga through his blindfold.
"Leave it to me."
But deep down, he wasn't all that shocked that he had been bothered by all of this.
This was you we were talking about after all.
Satoru couldn't help but chuckle to himself quietly, he thought about how this is exactly the kind of location a sorcerer such as yourself would choose to hide. For a moment he wondered what took Yaga and the others so long to narrow down your whereabouts.
But a frown tugged at his lips. It's not like he was any better.
He began to walk towards the center of the clearing, heading straight towards the veil before him, his footsteps being muffled by the soft grass underfoot.
Everything up until this point had just been speculation. Right now everything was nothing more than mere rumors. Whispered theories. Red strings on a corkboard. There hadn't been any concrete evidence, no sightings in public, no security footage, no candid photographs that proved you still existed in today's society.
But as he approached the outer rim of the veil, his eyes boring into the deep pool of black- It dawned on him.
He picked up the lingering traces of cursed energy.
And without another thought, he walks through the veil with ease.
---
"You're wasting your time on training? Come watch a movie with me, I haven't seen you all dayyyyy!!"
Satoru's whiney voice echoed throughout the open space of the gym from the moment he entered and spotted your figure. Your back is turned to him as you swing at a punching bag in front of you.
It was both of your second year at Jujutsu High. And as per usual, Satoru was putting all his energy into annoying you rather than into anything productive. Despite your irritation, there was no mistaking the undeniable bond that you and he shared. You and Satoru were attached at the hip. Wherever you were, Satoru was there. And wherever Satoru was, you were right there at his side rolling your eyes at something he said.
He kept his gaze on your form, watching as you paused briefly before sending him a sour look. He let out a small snicker in response as he couldn't help but find your annoyance amusing.
"Yes, Satoru. I am training. Some of us take pride in putting in the hard work." You say with a pointed voice before continuing to throw punches, practically sensing the shit-eating grin that had been developing across his face.
He purses his lips, he didn't necessarily disagree with your mindset per se, but he always found it humorous to get a small rise out of you- that and he would rather die than ever utter the words "I agree" to you. You'd never let him live it down.
"Like you need to do that," He says with a careless shrug. "You're strong as is." He beams in your direction as he starts walking towards you, getting close enough to be able to watch as your face contorts into one of confusion before giving your shoulders a gentle roll. You continue to throw punches.
He huffs when he doesn't get a single word out of you, his smile only faltering for half a second when he finally gets close enough to you. He carefully studied your expression. The way you were so focused and determined, the way your eyes held that look of concentration whenever you were focused and putting your mind to something, he loved it. Even though he thought that you'd always been a bit of a pushover, he couldn't deny your dedication was admirable.
"Can you back up, you're in my space." you then say, more of a demand than an ask as you recognized how close he was getting to you.
He ignores your quip, not moving an inch, "C'mon short-stack, people like us don't have to worry about tedious things such as training." He said in turn, sending a knowing look your way. You knew that he believed what he was saying too, which was irritating. He fully knew the strength behind both yours and his techniques. The baseline of power for the two of you was lightyears ahead of many measly sorcerers.
"You're so full of yourself" You scoffed, pausing once more, letting your arms drop to your sides and finally turning to face him fully. "All you do is go on about how you're the strongest. Now please, back up Satoru," you said with a harsh glare before poking his chest with your pointer finger.
He didn't move an inch, infinity not even needed for him to continue to stand tall above you, his grin stretching out to a full-on smile.
You didn't know it, but he had just won. At least, he felt like he did.
He's gotten your full attention.
"Ooh, I like it when you get all snappy and bossy, it’s a good look on you." He looks down at you with smugness as his glasses slip down the bridge of his nose ever so slightly revealing those deep blues of his "And so what if I'm cocky? You act like I can't back it up." he said, getting in your face, grin continuing to grow.
You shot him a look of disgust, letting out a fake gag. "You're so cringy when you try to act cool to me," you said to him, letting your face continue to distort with pseudo-nausea.
He feels his heart drop to his stomach before he lets out an exasperated cry. "What do you mean cringy??", he says incredulously as his smug demeanor washes away and his ego takes a small blow.
His expression has you laughing, and he watches on as your head swings down and you drift away from his gaze, clearly showing your annoyance has melted.
The same could have been said for his heart.
He then watched as you let out a soft sigh before undoing the bandages you've wrapped around your knuckles slowly. You lift your head once more and turn to face him before gently nudging his side.
"You're insufferable... So what are we doing?" you say, flashing him the smallest of smiles, finally giving in to the request that he gave when he first entered the gym.
He let out a small cheer as you'd relent, momentarily swinging his arm around your shoulders and then grimacing when realizing you were sweaty. He'd make some sort of a remark which in turn earned him a firm punch to his arm.
He laughed watching your cheeks heat with embarrassment before whisking you away to get caught up in whatever nonsense his mind concocted for the day.
Satoru had a soft spot for you. Anyone with a brain could understand that if they had ever seen you two together.
There had always been a loneliness he shouldered in life, one that was a side effect of being the strongest. It was... a weird sort of isolation. Being above everyone else. Watching below as everyone fought to reach the summit. But- not ever stopping to realize the sharpness of the cold air and deafening silence that accompanied it.
It was loneliness that only the strongest could have understood.
A loneliness that you and Suguru understood.
You all shared some level of a similar burden, understanding how many people depended on you each waking day. The roles in which you all played, often being on the frontlines and confronting the possibility of the erasure of mankind every day. It was a pressure no one else could truly and utterly comprehend and face.
However, things were just a little more different with you.
While his friendship with Suguru provided great understanding, respect, admiration, and care-
What the two of you had always felt as if it ran so much deeper than that. There was what he considered to be a frightening amount of vulnerability that came with your connection.
A mix of private conversations. Unspoken words. Gentle touches. Knowing looks... Tears that he would normally never let anyone see.
There was love.
A love that surpassed the means of friendship.
It was unspoken of course. And he constantly used to wonder if it was mutually understood. As if you two knew what you meant to each other without having to say it. That each action, each second spent together, every vulnerable moment served as a confirmation of the ways you two depended on each other.
But after the death of the Star Plasma Vessel and soon the betrayal and departure of Suguru. You began to slowly fade away. It wasn't evident at first. Not at all. His mind was far too deep in sorrow and mourning to the point of being desensitized.
But, gradually, Satoru noticed how your face, your voice, your whispered conversations, gentle touches, knowing looks, all those things that were once a constant... slowly started to disappear from his life.
And then the announcement of your death came.
After being sent out on your own for a mission to defeat a First Grade curse, you never returned.
You were overpowered. Killed and eaten. There were very few remains that were recovered. Only your cursed weapon shattered, and tears of your uniform were found. Not even a trace of a corpse, even when the curse had been exorcised.
That was what he was told.
He didn't believe it at first. How could you have lost? To something he knew you were levels above? He spent days, texting your number only to get no answers, calling to be sent straight to voicemail. Returning to that damn worn down office building where you supposedly died, searching each floor, calling your name.
At least with Suguru, he knew exactly what happened. Even if it was by his hand.
But there was never any ease, never any reassurance when it came to what happened to you. Somehow the factor of that unknown and not bearing witness made it harder for him to comprehend it all.
It was a newfound revelation that shattered something within him that day.
He was alone. Truly and utterly alone once again.
And the summit felt as if it started to freeze over him.
---
A quaint house stood tall and nestled amidst the center of the veil, a single-story abode framed by a winding path that beckoned him forward. As Satoru approached, his gaze wandered over the meticulously tended garden, rows of vibrant vegetables somehow thriving within the sealed-off area. Each step along the gravel path stirred soft crunches of pebbles, a rhythmic accompaniment to his thoughts.
He ascended the weathered steps leading to a porch, their edges softened by what seemed like years of use. The wooden planks creaked subtly under his weight as his eyes traced the length of the porch. Potted plants brimmed with colorful blooms, their fragrance mingling with the earthy scent of the garden.
Reaching the front door, he paused briefly, hand hovering over the worn brass knob before he grasped it firmly and turned. The latch clicked softly as the door swung open and a hint of surprise sparks within him as he registers that the door was not locked.
His eyes peer into the home only for a mere couple of seconds. The interior is dim, but he can make out several pieces of furniture, decor, and appliances.
It was clear that this house was actively lived in.
However, his mind doesn't give him the room or time to even try and analyze or more so criticize the decor anymore as his eyes quickly take note of two things.
A cup of coffee steaming on the countertop near the kitchen.
And the back door is ever so slightly ajar.
Whoever lived here- was here recently.
Satoru's focus is all but shattered when the loud, whiny, sound of creaking wood fills his ears and immediately his head snaps in the direction of where the noise had come from. Now leaning away from the front door and letting the hand that once grasped the doorknob fall to his side, his eyes settle onto the only other structure in the vicinity.
A barn.
He pursed his lips, his brain processing the information and the infinite amount of possibilities at a million miles per second. It humored him that whoever this was had essentially cornered themselves and did nothing but give away their element of surprise by carelessly making such a racket.
His eyes then narrowed, and his feet carried him towards the wooden structure.
But given the conditions of the veil and the possibility that this could be you. Clearly whoever or whatever this was, was skilled and the noise made was nothing but bait. And by entering the barn, he would essentially be walking into the palm of their hand.
A smile stretched across his lips. That didn't matter though. As if anyone could lay a finger on him.
He nudges the barn door open with his foot with little to no care, the door replicating that same creak he had heard earlier. The vacant space was pitch black, only now the faintest bit of light leaking through from the now opened barn door.
Without an ounce of hesitation, he entered.
His eyes scan across the room meticulously, trailing up the wooden pillars that were lined and spaced incrementally inside the vast space. His eyes shift along the high beams and a smirk takes over his lips as he registers the faint feeling of cursed energy.
Bingo.
"I know you're in here." He said in a sugary sweet voice, his movements slow as he picked up a pebble amongst the dirt and debris that was scattered across the wooden flooring He fiddled with it between his long digits, the pads of his fingers smoothing along the rugged edges.
"If you show yourself now, I promise to play nic-"
Squeeeee
Another creak breaks the silence and not missing a single beat his eyes snap in its direction, charging the stone with cursed energy before throttling it at the source of the sound. The stone zips through the air, cutting through the air at such an intense velocity that upon making an impact with the roof of the barn- the wood relents, breaking under the sheer force, causing a gentle stream of light to now beam through the hole he created.
The barn falls into silence once more.
He sighs, raising an eyebrow. "Dead already?" he wondered out loud, a cocky laugh escaping his throat as he intently eyes the area surrounding the "mark" he's left on the infrastructure, admiring his handy work.
He is completely prepared for what happens next.
A shadowy figure zips through the air, and his eyes catch the glint of metal that reflects in the light as the attacker dives straight toward him holding some form of cursed weapon.
Satoru raises a brow expectantly, his grin remaining on his lips as he merely steps out of the way as the figure collides with the ground below, the sound of wood breaking filling the air for a second time as the blade embeds itself through the floorboards.
His eyes observed the figure cautiously, watching as it slowly rose to its feet, not bothering to fetch the weapon that was now a good foot into the ground. He smiles smugly as the figure slowly steps into the light.
"That would've worked- if it wasn't me" he quipped with a carefree laugh.
"You're just as pompous as I remembered"
It was one of those rare occasions where Satoru finds himself at a loss for words. His features are completely wiped of any smirk or cockiness and his brain all but freezes, cutting off any further taunting remarks that otherwise would have slipped off his tongue effortlessly.
It was you.
He'd be stupid to not recognize that voice from miles and miles away. It was you. Standing right before him, dawning nothing more than a pair of sweats and a tee. You had grown. You had changed. No longer sporting the same hairstyle you did back in your Second year or standing with that little bit of awkwardness that you seemed to carry with you naturally at the time. There was a new sense of confidence that you now carried with you, self-assured.
He found his footing, forcing a smile onto his lips.
"Had to keep things familiar for you, otherwise how would you recognize me?"
You let out a scoff and a wave of nostalgia washed over his senses as he watched your face- which was now fully in view- soften as you gave him a gentle smile.
But as he stared at your face he realized something was bubbling beneath his demeanor.
Anger. Hurt. Betrayal. Confusion.
No longer were there rumors, theories, or flimsy, stupid red strings.
You were alive. You were here.
And you had lied to him.
Insults started to bubble in his throat as his collected demeanor began to wash away.
The things he wanted to spit in your direction. How cowardly you were to run away in the manner that you did. Scream at you for abandoning him. Ask you, demand you, for an explanation for how you could have left him with such ease. How could you do that to him? He was counting on you. He thought you understood each other, ready to shoulder the burden of loneliness and strength together.
How could you let him brace the cold and deafening silence on his own?
"Satoru... it's nice to see you again"
And just like that it all melted away. As if the sound of your voice saying his name had been some Pavlovian experiment, he finds himself wrapping his arms around you and pulling you towards his chest.
Those emotions could be put on hold for now he thought to himself as pure relief washed over his being. He held you with such an intensity that a part of him now wondered if this was a dream that he soon would wake from. And he waited for the moment you would slip away from his arms once more and for him to find himself stirring from the depths of slumber, alone in his bed.
It was then he felt your arms wrap around his torso and his bottom lip began to quiver before he clenched his jaw, biting down on his lip, grinding his teeth into the flesh ever so slightly just to still himself. He battled with himself internally, trying to find his composure, hoping that he would come up with something, anything to say. Just one more cocky remark to allow the mask to slip back on. Anything to just prevent all these suppressed emotions from spilling out messily.
But old habits die hard. And the simple comfort that came from being at your side once more was just far too overwhelming. A tear slips from his eye, as he buries his face into the soft strands of your hair.
Just for a moment... the summit began to feel warmer and the sound of gentle conversation began to float through the air.
---
"Well, I'm assuming you're not here for a quick check-in..."
The soft whistle of a kettle fills the air as you speak, the clattering of ceramics soon follows as you reach for two mugs that had been stored in your cupboard.
Satoru is watching you intently, taking in your every move, holding onto every word you speak.
He can tell you're purposefully avoiding his gaze.
The two of you had stayed in the barn for several minutes, holding onto each other in silence. You had wanted to say something but when the faintest sob left Satoru's lips, you knew better than to say anything more.
As you felt him begin to still and his breathing becoming slightly less ragged, you invited him back into your home, a place that would be more suited for the two of you to chat.
Upon entering, you let out a soft whine, complaining for a moment that your coffee had now gone cold and you would have to make a new one. You sent him a soft smile before offering him a drink as you headed into your kitchen space.
The air was uncomfortably stiff from that point on, several beats of silence filling the air as he felt his discomfort grow. This was incredibly awkward. Of course, it was... as if the circumstances surrounding the two of you were normal in the slightest.
He let your words hang in the air for a moment as he sat silently in thought, his eyes wandering around this place that you called home. He took note of the several knick-knacks that decorated the place, his eyes landed on a guitar that hung on the wall and then a wooden trinket that sat on top of the fireplace that appeared to be home-made and he mused at the thought of you taking up carpentry and music in your free time.
He's broken from his thoughts as he sees you lean down in front of him, gently placing a mug for him on the coffee table, raising your brow expectantly, waiting for some sort of acknowledgment to your words from earlier.
He curtly sent you a nod of gratitude, leaning up from the plush couch he had situated himself on, fingers wrapping around the handle of the mug, bringing it to his lips. He took a sip of the coffee, and the taste of cream and sugar immediately coated his tongue. He felt his heartstrings tug as he realized you still remembered how he liked his coffee.
He fought off a smile, knowing that now wasn't the time for fondness.
He watches as you take a seat on a chair that sits on the opposing side of the coffee table and he sighs before speaking,
"To put it simply, you are needed back at Jujutsu Tech."
"...Why?"
Your response is immediate, without any trace of hesitation. He looks at your expression, your eyebrows slightly furrowed and a frown tugging at the corners of your lips. And for the first time in a long while, a hint of nervousness sparks within his gut.
Convincing you was not going to be as easy as he thought it would have been.
"War is on the horizon... A group of cursed spirits are planning some sort of attack in Shibuya... and I am the main target. Yaga was the one who suggested that we find you. He had a team searching for you over the past decade... since you..." His voice trailed off, and you shifted your gaze away from his. A thick blanket of silence filled the room once again. He takes another sip of coffee, and he notices how his foot begins to tap restlessly.
"...They believe that if you are present, our chances of securing a causality-free victory is more likely" he continues, regaining his composure and dancing around the elephant in the room with such carelessness. "There will be several special-grade curses present, so we are preparing for the absolute worst..." Satoru says as he continues to watch you closely, trying to gauge your reaction. Your eyes were now screwed shut, your free hand, rubbing circles into the temple of your head as if you had a migraine. Your silence was more than unnerving.
"I can't, Satoru."
Your words are curt, you provide no further explanation, no reasoning. He frowns deeply, 'You can't?' What was that supposed to mean? Were you unable to use your cursed technique anymore? That couldn't be true- he could still see and sense the intense amount of cursed energy that radiated from your being. You were more than capable. So what the hell did you mean?
"...I left that lifestyle behind me years ago... you know this"
In his mind, he had pictured you running back into his arms as soon as he saw you. He pictured tears and an apology- A promise that you would never leave again as you held onto him tightly. Promises that you would return to his side without a second thought.
But this hesitation. This unwillingness. He felt so stupid upon being faced with it, his ego took a blow, his heart tearing a little bit as he began to question the foundation of the dynamic he had with you. Wondering if he truly wasn't enough of a reason for you to return to the way things were. But at the same token, he knew you and your stubbornness, the ways you stood your ground when making a decision, and your dedication to commit to them without faltering.
And there it was, in your words, the acknowledgment of your decisions. Confirmation of your actions being given as guilt rooted deeply into each word you spoke and swirling around in your eyes as you still refused to meet his gaze.
"Why did you do it?" he then dares to ask, the tone in Satoru's voice was unreadable, it almost didn't sound like him, the words coming out as a whisper yet carrying such a heavy weight with every syllable that rolled off his tongue.
This conversation was inevitable, you knew this. Even if you were trying to steer away from this topic, you knew that from the moment you saw him enter the veil, it would wound up here in one way or another.
But you didn't want to face this reality, "I don't understand what you're saying" you then say, stupidly letting out such a poorly constructed lie. Your eyes flickered to his face for a mere second and the furrow of his eyebrows told you just how much he didn't like that answer.
"Fuck don't make me say it," he muttered between gritted teeth, "Why did you fake your death? Why did you disappear without a trace?" his voice was slightly raised but still firm and contained. He could feel his grasp on his emotions slipping quickly as his grip on the mug tightened, his foot tapping much faster than it had been originally.
A subtle tinge of pain ached within his being as he finally directly acknowledged your deceit. As if beforehand your actions had been nothing more than meaningless flimsy words, his words spoke the truth into existence, forcing him to face it directly and fully. This was no longer a weight on his mind but a hard-hitting reality that he now had to navigate.
You give him a humorless laugh, a small smile that doesn't even begin to meet your eyes, "Do you really think the higher-ups would allow something like that? For a Special Grade Sorcerer that was tied so closely to you, the beholder of the Six Eyes and Limitless Technique to just step down and walk away?"
"That's not what I mean- " Satoru interjects, his eyes narrowing beneath his blindfold, "How could you? How could you just walk away from it all like everything that happened was nothing to you?". There was a bitterness in his voice that he did not attempt to conceal, his words cutting deep, outright challenging every aspect of your motives.
And you knew right then and there that there was no more running away from this. He deserved an explanation, you knew that. If there was anything you could do right now, it was to give him the truth. You let out a soft sigh, your eyes still refusing to meet his as you set your mug down on the coffee table that separated the two of you. He watches as you lean back into the chair, a distant look in your eyes as you begin to fidget with your fingers.
"It started after I heard about what happened to Amanai from you..." your voice came out as a murmur as you began to speak. A hint of surprise washed over his face before his lips thinned tightly as you brought up the name of the departed girl.
"I remember watching the ways it changed you and Suguru... You began to work tirelessly to surpass everyone around you while Suguru began to look worse for wear." he could see a sadness swirling in your eyes as you recalled those distant memories.
"It pained me to know how much that event shook you both to the core... and I wasn't there for any of it, so how could I comfort you both? Then... Haibara died..." Your voice begins to shake, your eyes seemingly fixed on the wall to your left, your fingers picking at the skin around your nails.
"Then Suguru defected... and that was when you broke."
Those last words hung in the air heavily and he watched as you took a deep breath, through your nose and past your trembling lips. You attempted to gather yourself, doing everything you could to prevent yourself from breaking, wondering how these memories still brought upon so much anguish after a decade.
"So much happened so quickly... and I remember that night... you cried in a way I had never seen you cry before... Another one of our friends gone..." Your voice had lost all its strength by this point, dropping to nothing more than a sorrowful whisper.
"I wondered how many more people would I lose? How many more days until one of us becomes a casualty once more? Would it have been Nanami next? Shoko?... You?" He felt a twinge of hurt as you spoke. A part of him almost felt insulted that you thought he would die, but the better part of him knew you meant no ill will. He wanted to stop you there and reassure you there was no way in hell he would have let anything happen to him, but before he could begin to interject, you continued to speak.
"I started to wonder if it ever came to a point where I would have to choose between the success of some mission or your well-being, could I ever rationalize it in my head? Would I be able to make that choice? ...Would you be able to make that choice?" Your fidgeting grew more restless as the skin around your nail broke, drawing a slight amount of blood.
"...and I hate how this sounds, but we made each other weak, Satoru. The target that was placed on my back for being so close to you was evident, and I thought I could shoulder that. But... seeing you after Suguru left, I realized I would become a weight that would hold you back—an additional variable to worry about. I couldn't stomach the thought of it all."
You sighed for the nth time.
"I knew I was uncertain about my capabilities when it came to making decisions involving you... and I knew I couldn't stay and watch as the people I loved turned into statistics. So I made my bed and laid in it."
A bitter chuckle then leaves your lips, "But I'm not so stupid to think that I have free will in this world. A special-grade sorcerer just out there in the world, their powers not being monitored? As if I would have been allowed that freedom. And I knew if you somehow caught word of my plans... you would try to convince me otherwise. I knew you would find a way to pull me back, and I couldn't let you do that."
"So I left on my own terms... removing myself from the picture in the cleanest way I could..."
The two of you fell into another silence as he took in the last of your words. After all these years, he finally received an explanation for your sudden departure. The picture was now complete, and he knew every detail of what happened. And frankly, he wasn't sure how to take any of it. A part of him felt stumped, wondering how much of the blame he should shoulder despite you not placing any on him. You laid it out pretty clearly that this was a conclusion you reached on your own. But the fact that you felt you couldn't confide in him, hurt deeply.
Then there was the way you spoke about yourself, acting as if you were nothing more than a mere inconvenience in his life - oh, did that spark a rage in him... As if he hadn't thought about you in the highest regard.
His next words seemed to slip past his lips without much thought and were solely fueled by emotion. "So you left me... You made everyone—made me believe that you were gone? You forced me to cope with the hole you left... Taking away the last thing I cared about?" He gritted through his teeth, as hurt and anger coursed through his veins, any sense of composure now far gone.
"A setback? Another variable to worry about? Do you hear the shit you're saying?" Your eyes snapped to his face, finally looking at him, surprise written across your face at the aggression that laced his words as he crassly set his mug down with a hefty thump.
"If there was anyone—anyone I could have depended on, it was you," he spat, hastily tugging his blindfold down his face, letting it hang around his neck.
And for the first time in a decade, you're staring him eye to eye.
Brilliant blues swirled around in angry, hurtful waves as they stared straight through you, analyzing every part of your being to a tee.
"Fucking hell- Of course, I worried about you. Anyone with a working pair of eyes and a brain could see what you meant to me. But I knew you - I knew your strength, I knew the risks that came with being so close to you, I knew they were something that just needed to be taken in stride. Every day, there was a risk. Of course, I knew that."
You watched as he took his bottom lip between his teeth, he was growing restless. You knew there was never going to be a positive reaction to what you had done. He would have to have been insane to see anything good about you pretending to have gotten killed.
But you didn't expect him to break like this.
"But- I had enough faith in you to believe you knew what decisions to make. I had faith that you would trust me just as much as I trusted you; depend on me as I depended on you." His words lose their anger, as sadness now coats them. His voice is fragile, filled with hurt.
"We propelled each other forward. Is that not how it was?"
You didn't know when it started, but tears were now falling from both of you as you fell into silence, staring at each other wordlessly.
Almost 12 years of bottled-up emotions caused him to fall apart before your very eyes. You had felt confident with the decision you made back then, certain that it was the right thing you needed to do for yourself and him. But maybe living with the decision had only been so easy because not once did you have to face the consequences and the effects they left behind.
But there it was, the consequences of your actions, manifested in the form of Satoru Gojo, the face of strength and confidence in the Jujutsu world, shattered. Crumbling to pieces right before your eyes.
And god, it was always so hard to see him hurting so intensely.
Your legs seemed to move on their own as they carried you without a thought, and you found yourself leaving the chair you had been sitting in and taking a seat on the couch next to him.
You leaned your head against his shoulder quietly.
And not missing a beat, he pulls you into him without a second thought, and the two of you are holding each other again, tears slipping from your eyes. Your resolve is crumbling; you can feel it. Knowing that the part of you that rejected Jutujsu sorcery and the life that came with it was beckoning you once again.
It always did. You knew it always did.
As empty as the thought left you, this was something your body was made for. This was your unfair calling and a role that you had no choice but to play along with. You may not have been asked to be given such a powerful technique, but you were. And even though you held the power to save so many, you selfishly decided to turn away so you didn't have to witness the loss of the ones you loved.
"Please" you hear Satoru whisper to you, breaking you out of your thoughts as he holds you firmly against him.
"You can come back. Higher-ups be damned- I won't let them lay a finger on you. I don't care about how long it's been... just come back." he was begging you. A desperation in his broken voice that told you that there was no more pride in him left to spare. This was the bottom of the barrel and what remained of him, was raw, emotional, and shattered.
He didn't know if he had it in himself to leave this place without you at his side. Let you slip between his fingers once more and let you vanish into the background again. Knowing damn well you're smart enough to move your location since you've been found. He finally had you once more, and he wasn't going to take this opportunity for granted.
Your resolve is fading away and you can't help but feel a hint of nostalgia. This is why all these years ago you knew you couldn't face him. Just as you admitted, you were weak to him, uncertain of your abilities to make decisions whenever it came to Satoru.
And right now, you couldn't help but take him in. The tenderness in which he held you, the scent that lingered around him, his heart beating so heavily you could feel it against your chest. There was only one word that floated around your head,
Home.
How long had it been since you felt like this? How long had it been since you felt the touch of anyone? You silently begged yourself to not let the fact you were undeniably touch-starved be any part of the reason why you would relent.
But this wasn't just anyone you were speaking about here. You knew this.
You'd be lying to say that your world didn't become duller after you departed from Satoru's side. The first few months of being away from him were excruciating and you lived in hefty guilt. The routine you once built together was no more. There was no one to push you out of bed in the morning, no one to drag you away from your responsibilities to goof off, no conversations until 4 a.m. in the morning, talking until your brain couldn't form coherent thoughts. No one to hold you through the nights that were just a little too hard to deal with. No one to understand your entire being in the way he did.
You truly and utterly missed him, even after all these years.
You breathe out a deep sigh the last bit of restraint evaporating,
"Okay. Fuck... okay, Satoru. I'll go with you".
You refused to be alone anymore.
Satoru felt his world come to a stop as the words slipped from your lips. His heart came to a halt in his chest as he soon took your face in his hands wordlessly, staring into your eyes.
And the summit grew warm as a fire was lit, and there he saw your smiling face illuminated by the flames.
He was unsure of what fueled his next action- perhaps it was the intensity of all the emotions both you and him had released, maybe it was the high he was riding from the sheer fact that you were officially back in his life once more... or the unspoken love he kept within for the past few years.
It could have been for a million reasons, but none of that mattered as his lips met yours in a gentle, loving, kiss, and his thumbs ran over the expanse of your cheeks.
Your heart flipped within the confines of your ribcage as he kissed you with such attentiveness, all of your sanity far out the window as your eyes fluttered shut and you kissed him back with an equal amount of tenderness.
He parted his lips from yours for a brief moment, "Twelve years I've waited just to do this..." He murmurs before pulling you into another searing kiss, one of his hands moving to the back of your neck before combing his fingers through your hair.
Your mind felt cloudy as he all but confessed the undying love he'd had for you for over a decade. You wanted to tease him, you truly did, but as you felt his fingers playing with your hair, you found yourself melting into his touch, any snarky remarks threatening to spill out, dying in your throat.
He suddenly flips you over, letting you fall onto your back as he hovers above you. A soft squeak squeezes its way past your lips and he lets out a breathy laugh, unable to stop himself from gushing over every little thing you did.
"God you're so ridiculously perfect..." Satoru whispers to you affectionately, his head dipping down to press a kiss to your cheek, loving the way the skin tinted with a rosy red.
"...You always have been," he continues, leaving several kisses pressed against your jaw.
"...My perfect girl" his lips trail along your neck where he gently nips and sucks and you feel lightheaded at his words. Never mind the red and purple marks he was leaving along your flushed skin, the way he praised your entire being, kissing you, touching you with such softness rendered you entirely speechless and helpless in his hands.
Satoru felt himself become overwhelmed with desperation. He just needed to be as close to you as possible, he needed to make up for all the time the two of you spent apart. He needed to remind you of just how deep his love and care ran for you. And he knew no amount of words would express that, so he needed to at least try and show you.
"Bed.. 'Toru, my bed" you breathlessly murmured to him, sensing his neediness as he began to press his body into yours and his lips searched for every bit of exposed skin you had to offer.
He lets out a low hum and pulls away from your neck, pressing one last kiss to a fresh hickey, "Where?" he says, lips continuing to graze your skin as he speaks.
"Down the hall on the right," you replied, your voice nothing more than a whisper and ears burning. In a flash, he's scooping you up in his arms and making hasty steps toward your bedroom as you let out a soft laugh, amused with how easily he picks you up. He nudges the partially opened door with his hip and gently tosses you onto the bed, watching as you bounce in place before he joins you, crawling onto the bed and hovering over you once more and kissing you once again.
It's messy and wet, his tongue darting out to coat your bottom lip before nibbling on the plump flesh and tugging. One of his large hands trails down to the hem of your shirt, and he gently pulls on the material, silently asking you for permission. With no hesitation, you raise your hands above your head giving him the green light he needed as he parts his lips from yours and makes quick work of removing the article, tossing it somewhere in your room.
His eyes trail over your exposed torso, tracing over every single curve, and Christ, you weren't even wearing a bra.
"Fuck you've grown up nicely, hm?" His voice says lowly as his hands run along the curve of your waist before gently cupping your breast, giving it a firm squeeze.
Your face turns a deep red as you bite back a moan from his touches, "Don't say that Satoru! You sound like such a creep-" You hiss through gritted teeth as he continues his onslaught, massaging the flesh in his palm before giving your perked nipple a small pinch.
"Sorry princess..." He says with a snicker, "...It's true though..." he grins at you pressing his lips to yours once more in a quick peck before sitting up to slip off his own shirt and discarding the blindfold that still hung around his neck.
His sculpted body was a sight to behold. It's not like you haven't seen Satoru shirtless before, there have been many incidents during your days at Jujutsu Tech, going to the beach, catching him right after he stepped out of the shower, or waking up next to him in your dorm and receiving a poor excuse from him that it was simply too hot while he was trying to sleep.
But after several years, you can see the effects of what you assumed was nothing less than endless hours of intense training written all across his body with every swell of muscle your eyes traced along, broad shoulders chiseled abs, and a waist so sinfully cinched, anyone would be envious.
When the hell did he become so hot?
Satoru genuinely felt himself grow warm under your gaze, the way you stared at his body so shamelessly made the tips of his ears turn pink. A smirk tugged at his lips as he debated calling you out for practically drooling at the sight of him. But as your small hand reached out and ran your fingers along the expanse of his abdomen, he couldn't hold himself back anymore.
He couldn't tease you now, he didn't have it in him. Not when you were laying there looking so damn pretty, clearly needing him just as much as he needed you. As he began to make quick work of removing your sweatpants, he made a silent vow to himself that next time it wouldn't be so rushed like this, next time he would take his damn sweet time, drawing every second out and showing you everything he could do to you.
Discarding your sweat pants, his eyes practically honed in on the blatant wet patch soaking your cotton panties. "Fucking hell, you're driving me crazy sweetheart..." He growled, removing his pants, and flinging it to who knows where. He positioned himself between your legs, hooking his thumbs underneath the waistband of your underwear pulling it down your legs at an agonizingly slow pace, and marveling at the strings of arousal that hung between your wet cunt and panties.
It was embarrassing how soaked you were, he barely had done anything to you and you were already a mess. Being touch-starved was becoming a prevalent fact and you just silently hoped he wouldn't put 2 and 2 together. Not that any of what you thought mattered because as soon as your panties were completely off, Satoru was diving into your cunt and eating you out with such eagerness you thought you were about to die and go to heaven.
His tongue worked skillfully along your slit, occasionally bringing your clit between his lips and sucking and lapping at the sensitive nub. "Satoru- oh my god-" you stuttered out, your thighs threatening to clamp around his head if not for his large warm palms keeping them spread. He let out a slight hum as you said his name and the vibrations have you seeing stars.
Were you really about to finish after two minutes of foreplay?
You got your answer fairly quickly as Satoru suddenly removed his mouth from you, denying you any further pleasure. You begin to protest but as he leaves a soft kiss on your inner thigh, your voice dies in your throat. "I'm sorry my pretty girl... Can't wait much longer" he says, his voice low and gravelly as he sits up, tugging down his boxers and positioning himself once more between your legs and caging you between his muscular arms.
"Need you finish while I'm inside that pretty cunt, okay?" he murmurs, licking off the last bit of your slick that lingered on his lips. Your eyes trailed down his torso, admiring the feint white happy trail before fixating right on his dick. He was so big, so lengthy and thick, with an angry red tip that leaked with pre-cum. Your mouth watered slightly-
Of course, he had a huge dick... cause why wouldn't he?
"You ready, sweetheart?" Satoru whispered to you, pulling you from your thoughts as the head of his cock nudged at your entrance which has you gasping. You meet his eyes, seeing the tenderness those deep blues held and you smile, nodding your head softly.
Slowly, he pushes himself into you, watching your face contort as you adjust to his size. "Doing so well, pretty girl... you're taking me so well..." he cooed, leaning down to press soft kisses to your face as you struggled to keep your breathing under control. The stretch was ridiculous, and your hands found purchase on his shoulders, holding on to him tightly as your nails dug into his perfect milky skin.
"Almost there, my perfect girl..." he whispered just before bottoming out. He cursed at how tightly you were gripping him, plush walls sucking him in so intensely he had no idea if he'd ever be able to leave - not that he wanted to, of course.
A breathy sigh of your name left his lips as he gave a testing roll of his hips, gauging your reaction.
And when the prettiest moan leaves your lips, he can't help but gush, his hips beginning to move in slow, measured thrusts and he buries his face in your neck, firmly pressing his body against yours.
He could feel your heart pounding against his chest, every sinful and beautiful noise you made flooded his ears and he groaned softly. Breathless sighs of his name left your lips as the sound of skin smacking against skin filled the air with every thrust he made, fucking himself deeper into your sopping cunt.
He knew he was done for.
You were so perfect. You always were so damn perfect. Everything that he could have ever wanted. He always felt that you were his other half. From the moment you entered his life, he swore you were a splash of color in what he felt was a previously black-and-white world. The way you understood him in ways that he thought no one ever would. The way you always matched him on his childish, snarky remarks and teasing. The way you would put up with him, even on the days he knew he was being difficult.
Life with you meant reassurance and laughter, it meant being seen for something more than this power of his. Life with you meant never having to feel alone, it meant having a constant to push him through the toughest of times. It meant having a space where he could let the mask slip off, a place where he didn't have to be 'The Strongest', but simply Satoru,
Your Satoru.
And fuck, the pain he felt the day you left. The pain he felt for weeks... for months. Having to adjust to a world with you was agony.
But now that you were here, spread before him, your pretty eyes shut and those delicate lashes brushing on your cheeks, lips parted and moaning his name like a mantra- and he knew he could never get enough of you. He would never be able to get enough of you.
Never again was he going to let you get away. You were officially stuck with him until the end of time.
"Ah- 'Toru, m'getting close-!" you cried out, your hands running all along the expanse of his back, nails now breaking the skin and leaving red angry marks in their wake as his thrusts began to increase in pace and becoming sloppy.
"Me too princess, don't hold back, want you to cum for me, make a mess for me like the perfect girl I know you are" he groaned out, words spilling endlessly from his lips as began to nip at your neck once more, leaving far too many marks that made you question if your neck would be entirely purple by the end of this.
But as he hits a spot so deep inside you, your back arcs and your vision fades to white and you come undone. Legs trembling around him and hands scrambling to find something anything to hold onto as your orgasm ripples through you with such an intensity you thought you were going to blackout.
Satoru isn't too far behind as his pace quickens even more, heavy and hard thrusts pounding against your worn-out pussy and overstimulating you right before he pulls out releasing thick and long ropes of cum between your squished torsos.
He lets out a hefty sigh before his body goes limp, and he lets his full weight press into you. You let out a soft laugh, also out of breath as your hands make their way into his hair, toying with his snowy locks.
"…I missed you so damn much" his voice is delicate as he speaks shifting himself so that he can look at your face. You can't stop the smile that stretches across your face as you cup his cheek and press a kiss to his forehead.
"I missed you too… But I'm here now, and I promise you I'm not going anywhere," you whispered back to him. Letting the world slow down for just a moment more as you laid with him, enjoying that this was all life had to be right now.
You were launched right back into the world of jujutsu sorcery. You knew once you left your home and stepped out of that veil with Satoru, a whole load of ugliness was to come your way.
But at least, for right now... just in this moment. You can bask in the fact that you were reunited with the man who had always owned your heart.
☆~~~☆~~~☆
A/N: I FINALLY FINISHED IT YIPPIE I wanted to get this done a while ago but my friends surprised me with a vacation and I haven't been able to write anything until recently haha
I actually do have plans to write 2 blurbs about this fic in order to give more insight to Satoru's and the reader's relationship that I wasn't able to fit into this one less I wanted to overflood this piece with several flashbacks >_>
So expect some little pieces soonnn one will be very fluffy and just a little moment between Satoru and the Reader during their days at Jujutsu Tech after they finished a mission and the other will take place after Suguru defected (SO ANGST AHAHHAH)
Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed reading, it's been years since I've written any fanfiction so bare with me if there were any mistakes LOL
Sneak peak of a Gojo x Reader that I am working on :)
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pairing: Gojo Satoru x f!reader
Summary: Mechmaru manages to succeed in informing the higher-ups of Jujutsu Tech about the plans to seal the strongest, Gojo Satoru. With this, the higher-ups begin formulating a plan on how to secure their victory and take advantage of the information bestowed to them. However, one thing Gojo could not have thought to be suggested was, you, who supposedly died over a decade ago.
warnings: Takes place before the Shibuya incident arc. Does not follow the original plot of the series teehee.
word count: 716
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"A sorcerer that's able to amplify the cursed techniques of others? Something like that is possible?"
Itadori Yuji's eyebrows furrowed as he voiced his question, contemplating the words that Yaga had just spoken to the assembled group of Jujutsu students and sorcerers.
The atmosphere in the meeting room was tense and undeniably suffocating. It had been hours since Mechumaru's warning had been delivered. A plan to seal away the strongest sorcerer, Gojo Satoru, into the prison realm and to bring upon complete and utter chaos to Shibuya and its civilians on October 31st.
Those gathered in the room were fully aware of how crucial this advantage was and how important it was to utilize it. However, there was also a mutual understanding that the perpetrators had to also be aware of their own disadvantage, and would have to find some way to compensate for their slip up.
This brought an endless amount of "what if's" into question.
"Yes. Someone like that exists with such a technique. The ability to not only limitlessly amplify their own raw cursed energy but to amplify the cursed energy and furthermore the techniques used by anyone they come into contact with" Yaga responds to Itadori's question.
"What if we just simply don't send in Gojo-Sensei into Shibuya?" Itadori then says with a carelessness as if it's the most obvious answer in the world. "If that person can amplify their own energy limitlessly, don't we basically have our own super soldier who can overpower anyone alone?"
It is then Megumi who cuts in with a calm rebuttal, his eyes narrowing slightly. "It's not about having unlimited energy, Itadori. There are inherent limitations to such abilities. Even for someone who can amplify cursed energy, there's a threshold to how much they can sustain. Using cursed energy at such heightened levels consecutively poses significant risks and exacts a toll on the user."
Yaga sends a slight nod in Megumis direction, confirming the information he shared with Itadori. "It is also unlikely our perpetrators will reveal themselves unless Satoru is present. Rushing in prematurely not only risks escalating the danger but also endangers innocent civilians, who could become casualties as means to negotiate Satoru's presence."
"We however are getting ahead of ourselves," Yaga then continued, redirecting the focus "We have yet to establish contact with this sorcerer".
Gojo had been uncharacteristically silent amidst this discussion despite it heavily revolving around him. Between the relentless back and forth of his peers and students who each were chiming in with questions, wonders and suggestions - he sat in his chair, arms crossed, leaned back and sporting an expression that no one other than Shoko leiri could understand.
Her tired eyes fell onto the snow-haired man, noticing his stiffness and unusual quietness. She too understood where this conversation was headed and what words were about to be announced.
"Some of you already know who I am talking about. Yes. (L/N), (Y/N). A past student here at Jujutsu Tech, who was once presumed dead, has been rumored to be alive," Yaga finally discloses, his tone laced a certain firmness. "And over the course of several years, we have finally managed to narrow down her general whereabouts".
Satoru felt his jaw clench ever so slightly. Shoko notices.
"If we wish to minimize casualties and maximize our strength- It is crucial that we locate her and attempt to persuade her to join our cause" Yaga continues with determination.
Chatter began to fill the room as Yaga takes a pause. The topic at hand brought upon several mixed reactions. Rumors in the form of hushed words floated around the room, some true some false as some even questioned who you were and how you met your demise.
But all Satoru could hear was your name. Repeated. Over and over.
"However," Yaga broke the silence once more, his voice cutting through the room, "we can't just send anyone to convince her. We suspect there is a veil with special conditions where she resides."
Satoru's teeth grits, and his fingers dig into his sleeves ever so slightly.
"Only Special Graded Sorcerers can enter and leave the veil as they please. Though this won't affect the plan I originally wanted to propose."
"There is only one person we can send in after her."
"Satoru."
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(A/N): Listen I haven't been on this platform in like 2 years, and it's been 2 years since i've written anything so please do forgive me for any mistakes ;w;
Hoping I can finish writing this soon!! Hope you enjoyed!!
I was never one to believe in love at first sight.
The mere concept of taking a single look at a complete stranger and deciding that they were the one for you seemed so childish and unreasonable to me. I simply just didn’t understand it. How could anyone decide who your life-long partner is on a whim, on a single feeling, without getting to know what lies beyond the surface? Love solely based on what meets the eye? It’s laughable how shallow that is. It’s truly and utterly preposterous.
Love.
An interesting thing that it is.
The idealism of love had only begun to plague my mind as of recent. The intrusion of it was unwelcome, of course, and one that I was not willing to let stay. As you can probably imagine, I wasn’t the one who opened these sickeningly sweet gates. Mother and Father were the ones to blame for introducing these crazed concepts to me.
The beginning of this compassionate calamity began on the night of the celebration of my 18th birthday. Unbeknownst to me, my two ever-so considerate parents had decided that it was time for me to settle down. I shall never forget how Mother suddenly entered my corridor after the festivities came to a close.
The moon bared its light to the world as servants frantically ran around the castle's halls, cleaning, dusting, and erasing all evidence that there had even been a celebration in the first place. Mother's entrance was quiet but most certainly not unnoticed. Soft “m’lady”’s echoed throughout the silent room, effectively capturing my attention. I watched on in confusion as she asked all maids present to clear out the room. Now alone, she had joined me on my bed, sitting at my side, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear before speaking.
“You’ve grown into quite the young woman, my Dear. Your Father and I could not be more proud of you.”
Her tone had sounded so unbelievably sincere whilst speaking, and I recalled my cheeks heating up ever so slightly. Moments like that with her were obscenely rare. Moments where she treated me like a daughter rather than the prestigious princess of Miyagi who must honor her family's name. A shy smile took over my features as pride began to swell in my chest from the praise.
“As such, we knew this day would come eventually… This is a very important time for any woman's life and... We would like you to find a partner to settle down with.”
All those positive emotions swirling within me washed away immediately and I could feel my smile sink into a deep frown. Betrayal picked away at my heart as I began to question the sincerity and honesty of her previous “kind” words.
I was displeased, to say the least.
And to think, I was truly about to have a lovely, serene, moment with her.
The night ended with an argument between me and Mother.
I begged her to understand that I was not ready for such things nor was it in my best interest to find a man at an age as young as mine. She simply huffed and looked at me with familiar disappointed eyes.
“I’m sorry, my Dear, but you are of age now. It’s time for you to grow up and face these responsibilities.”
She did not sound apologetic at all.
From there, these languish, hellish talks became much too common for my liking. Mother took every opportunity to remind me to “keep my eyes open and alert” and how my “suitor may just be around the corner”. Eventually, Father got dragged into this mess, and I soon found myself trapped in countless awkward conversations with him, watching on as he scrambled for words to say.
I wanted nothing more than to scream to the heavens and beg for mercy on my dear life.
“Chin up for me dear, straighten your back, and please stop moping.”
Speaking of the Devil herself.
I find myself standing before three mirrors, each passing expression of mine looking more bored than the last. Immediately I corrected my posture, though doing nothing to “fix” the sour look that was worn upon my face. I opted to curse under my breath instead which ultimately earned me a soft smack to my arm.
“No man is going to fall for a princess who slouches” Mother lectures, doing up the last few laces of my corset before tightening them a little too harshly. I wince slightly as the fabric encases and squeezes my torso and I say a final goodbye to the last bit of air swirling around in my lungs.
“I need you to actually try tonight, (Y/N). There are going to be countless candidates vying for your attention tonight. Please indulge them. You haven’t a clue as to what may happen. You may finally find the one.”
The urge to hurl arises within me as I force myself to stomach the verbal bile that was about to slip its way past my lips. As if that’s all I've ever wanted...The attention of countless men... Mother speaks as if her words were meant to provide me comfort. But if anything all they do is make me wish that I would fall into a river and drown just to avoid tonight's gathering.
Tonight Mother and Father were hosting another ball to find a suitor for me once and for all...As if this exact scheme hadn’t worked the past three times they attempted to do so. But, as they always told me in that impossibly confident tone of theirs, “This time will be different, Darling''. Apparently, today's catch is that they’ve invited countless royal families from all different kingdoms with sons who are “eager to meet me”.
I laugh at the thought.
As if these money-hungry snobs want to meet me.
They’re not interested in me. They’re simply just interested in the wealth and luxury that comes with my family's name.
That’s always been the case without fail anyways.
As Mother finished her handy work, she gave me one final stern, knowing look. “Make your mother proud,” she spoke, urging me to consider her words and entertain her thoughts. She quietly parts ways with me from there. From her departure, several maids and helpers scurry into the room, replacing her presence as they immediately get to work in aiding me with my appearance.
I watch on as my face is poked and prodded at as it’s painted in neutral and pink hues. My cheeks became coated in a rosy blush as my lips were painted a devilish red before layers of powder were applied. My hair is then pulled and twisted into a tight bun and fastened with a lustrous cherry ribbon.
Once my hair and face had been addressed I found myself being pulled into a large, obnoxious, burgundy, gown. The garment slowly was pulled up along my form then tightly tied, further pushing the limits of my already exasperated lungs. Resting snugly on my petite shoulders, it fell just above my feet. Its silk-like texture shone and reflected under the lighting of my room giving off a fairly elegant feel. Coupled with the lace lining the end of the sleeves and the edges of the bust, it was as if this gown was simply demanding and promising that all eyes would be on me.
I swallow nervously at the thought.
As the maids made their final touches and smoothed out each and every crease they could find, I gave myself a once-over. I stared at the reflection before me and the drastic contrast between my before and after was shocking. Caked in makeup and dressed in cotton, silk, and lace. And I could confidently say I didn’t recognize myself.
But whatever makes Mother proud, right?
★。＼｜／。★
The ballroom had always been a sight to behold. Velvet drapes, lining the walls, polished marble flooring, and an extravagant chandelier hanging in the center of the room. This room itself was the very definition of refined.
The mellow melody of violins and piano keys wafted through the air gently and echoed throughout the vicinity. The sweet tune was accompanied by the polite chatter of guests of all different statuses and the soft tapping of shoes along the monochromatic floors. The richness of decadent pastries, sweet cheeses, and other refined dishes easily took over the senses and surely would make one's mouth overflow with drool.
Such wonderful sensations and feelings were being tapped into but yet, I find myself looking boredly down on the scene before me. These sights and emotions have gone stale a long while ago and have become insufferably repetitive.
I watched on as those below me appeared to be enjoying themselves immensely, and I wished I could feel an ounce of the pleasure they were experiencing. But as I found myself sitting stiffly on a throne that was beginning to feel more like a gold-encrusted zoo cage and adorning a tight-lipped smile that never met my eyes, I immediately lost all hope.
I simply could not wait for this horrid night to be over.
A soft tap to my arm is what draws me out of my brooding state. Mother stares back at me with an expectant gaze and I simply quirk my brow in response.
“I think it’s time that you speak to some of the guests, don’t you?”
I stared at her in shock. That fake smile I was wearing dissipates as I look at Mother, visibly unimpressed.
“Announcing,(Y/N) (L/N), Princess of the Miyagi Kingdom-!”
But before I could even refute my Mothers demand, one of the servants were already declaring my presence to the hundreds. Several eyes shifted towards where my parents and I had been situated and I was forced to quickly gather myself. Slowly, I rise to my feet and stand in front of the sea of people before me and send a gentle smile and wave to the crowd. Cheers and claps immediately overpowered the atmosphere as dozens of individuals praised my presence and cheered for me doing the bare minimum.
I tried my best to not scrunch up my face.
An arm was soon presented to me and without question I took it, already knowing what the routine was. Slowly I was led to the main floor, the heels of my shoes clicking along the tiled flooring as I took one last breath before being pulled into the belly of the beast. Whomever my escort was, I did not see but as soon as they came, they left and I was forced to face these people all alone.
I do my best to hold my head up high as I begin to navigate the floor. I stiffly talk with several townsfolk, exchanging pleasantries and half-hearted smiles. People of all kinds speak with me and share pieces of their stories. Doctors, Educators, Authors, Artists, and Midwives share their gratitude with me and I return the favor, thanking them for their hard work.
Although a little discomforting. I drastically preferred these conversations to the ones I have with any of the contenders attempting to steal my heart (and riches). I find my spirits being lifted ever so slightly as I find myself yet to encounter any of those egotistical maniacs.
“They will come to you dear. It’s a man's job to introduce himself to a pretty lady”
My Mothers words echoed throughout my head as I came to realize the solace I was currently experiencing wouldn’t last long. So as I continued to conversate, I made a mental note of my plan for the evening. All I had to do was wait, talk with a few people, kindly reject any perpetrators, make my disinterest clear and I can be on my way-
“Truly, you have no reason to thank me, not when you are the one who’s- Ah!”
The soft cry abruptly leaves my mouth as I unintentionally interrupt myself in the midst of a discussion with a humble townsfolk and I find myself suddenly being pushed from the back. Soft gasps echoed around the room as I scrambled to find my footing. I thank the heavens that the sweet women I had been conversing with came to my aid and helped me put myself in order. Thanking her silently, I gather myself before turning to see who my supposed attacker was.
A young man stood before me, panic evident in his eyes. He had dark brown hair and even darker eyes, he was fairly well sculpted and the suit he dawned was a deep shade of black. He was visibly tense and I noticed the slight tremble that consumes his being as he recognized who I was and he recognized what he’d done.
I immediately take pity on the poor man and send him a gentle smile, trying to assure him that I was more than alright. His shoulders relax and he sends a gentle smile in return.
“Assaulting a member of the royal family is quite a crime, you know? Your head can be taken off for such actions'' I then joked, hoping that my tone would ease him further and make light of the situation.
But my smile faltered as I watched the man’s complexion turn a ghostly shade of white before he hastily dropped to his knees and began to profusely apologize and beg for forgiveness. I deflated. My light-hearted demeanor immediately changed as I frantically tried to calm down the male before he began to smear his tears and snot on the pristine, clean, marble floor.
I could feel countless gazes surrounding me as guests watched the dramatic scene before them. Whispers soon began to arise and I had no choice but to brush them off. I continued to reassure the delirious male before me, painfully waiting for him to finally calm down and to get it together.
Within a few passing minutes, I had been able to clear the air. The male departed with teary eyes and a wobbly smile. He bid me one last apology and a "goodbye" before he scurried away, hanging his head in shame.
I sighed softly.
...Off to a great start already...
★。＼｜／。★
From there, the evening only continued to be a disaster. After that incident came and passed countless men had suddenly found the confidence to finally approach me. Each one of them tried to size up the last and desperately tried to leave an impression.
The extent they went to was laughable.
With each and every introduction and conversation, the men only became snobbier and snobbier and my patience was only becoming thinner and thinner. Each man trying to be the bricky cookie-cutter exemplar of what a prince should be. But by shamelessly flaunting their status and waving their riches in my face to entice me, it was safe to say I had no interest in pursuing anything further with these individuals.
Talking to these stuck-up meaters was exhausting.
“I must excuse myself now, Murata-san. It was a pleasure speaking to you, truly” I say, quickly cutting off my current conversation with the latest male trying to pursue me. I send a polite smile to the stout man before me, slightly bowing to give thanks for his time. He sends me a cocky smirk as he responds with “Likewise”, before parting ways with me.
Disgusting. I wanted to hurl.
After being freed from the shackles that were that interaction, I immediately began to move. Desperately needing a moment to myself, I begin to search the room for any vacant areas. Cautiously, I took calculated steps as I tried to break free from the crowd of people without having to speak with another soul. I pray to God that I would finally be able to get a speck of cool air into my system.
I find peace in a quiet corner near one of the many buffets. Listening to how the endless stream of voices began to quiet down, I felt my shoulders relax as I successfully isolated myself from the swarm. Leaning against the wall behind me for support, I allow my eyes to momentarily shut themselves as I welcome the newfound air into my lungs.
I really was beginning to hate these gatherings.
Every single one of them. They all were the same. The beginning and end results consistently remain stagnant as each time my parents attempted to find me a husband of my own proved to be futile.
T’was honestly infuriating that the two of them had yet to realize how repulsed I was.
“Excuse me, miss.”
The sound of a masculine voice rang in my ear and effectively ripped away the silence I had worked so hard for. I almost wanted to cry. What was my luck this evening? Was a minute alone far too much to ask for?
But as much as I wished to have cursed out the man who disturbed my peace, I knew Mother would have my head on a silver platter if I even dared to speak rudely to a single guest. So unwillingly, I force my eyes open and straighten my back. I try to put on the kindest smile I can before facing whoever this wretched man was.
“Yes? How can I help you?”
“Is the shrimp good?”
My jaw nearly dropped at the strange question. Caught off guard, all I could do was gape stupidly at the tall man before me as I met his gaze for the first time. After mentally preparing for another forced and uninteresting conversation where I'd have to simply watch a man fight for a piece of the status and wealth I held-
To have something so odd to be asked… I truly was at a loss for words.
...To think that this was simply another man after my family's title...
I truly didn’t know how foolish I was being at the time.
His gaze was already awaiting mine when my eyes first shifted to his. I find myself being met with curious velvety pools of chocolate brown... and perhaps it was a trick of light I swore I could see specks of purple flowing within them.
And for the first time, after countless tiring gatherings and conversations, a man had finally been able to capture my attention. Whether that was from his strange words or encaptivating eyes- I cannot say.
Interesting.
I realized I have yet to respond.
“Uhm-! I… Don’t know? I would assume so though, the chefs in the kitchens are quite profound” I sputtered out incredulously, oddly feeling my cheeks grow warm. Since when did I become so timid? Where had all my confidence gone? God...I haven’t stumbled over my words since I was a bantling.
“I see. Guess 'm gonna have to try them for myself”
That was the first time I took notice of his accent. I swore I hadn’t heard anything like it before. Melodic and sweet but at the same time deep and harsh. He wasn’t from around here. That was for sure.
But at the same token, I found my confusion tenfolding. What exactly was this conversation I was having...Discussing the appetizers at my family's event... He speaks to me as if I simply was just another commoner within this flock of individuals. Was he even aware of who I was? Even though I had my name and presence proudly announced to the dozens?
I’ve never been spoken to in such a way, not even once by Mother or Father.
I question why a tiny voice in my head tells me I don't mind.
Fully finding myself unable to look away, I continue to watch the intriguing male before me as he reaches around me and picks up the very crustacean he had been asking about prior before popping the delicacy into his mouth.
He chews and then swallows.
He sends me a soft smile.
Why had my heart skipped a beat?
“You were right, they’re incredible!”
Why was there this warmth rapidly being spread across my features?
Why did it feel like I was standing within the sun's rays and soaking up every last bit of heat and kindness it had to offer?
...Silver.
That was the color of his hair.
I take notice of this as he tilts his head towards me and I see the color glimmer under the lights of the chandelier.
I questioned if it was of old age or if this was a birth defect of his.
But goodness, could I not deny that the color intrigued me so.
“Ah right, I haven’t introduced myself yet,” the man then spoke, outstretching his hand to mine. I place my own and his and watched in shock as he gave it a gentle shake before letting go.
How casual.
“Miya.” He then spoke, I rose an eyebrow as I awaited for him to continue.
“My family’s name,” he then said, sending me a soft grin and I didn’t bother to question why he hadn’t mentioned his forename.
Generally speaking, I didn’t understand what was going on in the slightest. Why was this strange and objectively rude man was treating me in such an informal manner and why it was just so... magnetic. How did every abnormal aspect of his being, effortlessly capture my attention in a vice grip? It was almost frightening that I found myself unable to tear my gaze away from his. It was terrifying that for once I did not feel an ounce of resentment or awkwardness whilst conversing with another being. Nevertheless a male. I catch myself though, before my strange thoughts could descend into whatever madness awaits them.
Was this even proper? To have my sole attention and to spare more than a minute on a commoner such as he?
It was obvious, was it not?
One look is all that it took to realize that he wasn’t royalty, although his neat black trousers and pristine ruffled white button-up worked as an excellent disguise, it wasn’t difficult to realize that he was completely out of his element.
His lack of formalities and casual demeanor was a dead giveaway of that.
“What kingdom do you come from, Miya-san?” I then asked, allowing my curiosity to get the better of me as I simply wished to know more about the silvered-haired man.
“’m a farmer from Hyogo. I was invited here by one of my superiors,” he informed, not missing a beat as he obviously caught on to the look of suspicion I had sent his way.
A farmer...
His looks certainly did not match his occupation.
“Now then… Do you mind telling me why yer sittin’ far away from the crowd, princess?”
I allowed his voice to flood my ears once more as I found myself allured by its tune. Blinded by its sweet notes, it takes me a few moments to ground myself and to fully process the question he presented.
So he knew who I was. He knew my status and place within this kingdom. Yet, he still speaks to me in such a nonchalant manner? As if my title was for nothing else but display and without it, I was like him?
He certainly didn't treat me like royalty. And it seems as if he didn't care that I was.
Why did I find that relieving? That, I don’t think I’ll ever know.
But through my twisted and backward thought process, I come to welcome the odd sense of comfort his words brought. The tone in which he spoke had no underlying meaning, no ill insinuations. Just pure unadulterated concern.
My heart rate picked up ever so slightly.
“...I simply needed an escape...” I say, my voice far too small for my liking and I worry he'd be unable to hear my response. A pang of embarrassment arises within me as I immediately think about how Mother would scold me for allowing my confidence to waver.
“From..?” He inquires, pushing for more information.
It’s such a simple question to which, I knew exactly what my answer was. But yet, I find myself being hesitant within that moment. I wondered if he'd even seen what I'd been doing for the entire evening. Had he sent a single look my way he would have seen the torture I was being put through.
…Torture...
Was it even appropriate to call it that?
Shame begins to accumulate within me as I reflect on my dramatics. Though I understood my discomfort, was I truly in the right to be this bothered or upset by my circumstance? My gaze drops from his, suddenly feeling bashful and embarrassed by my thoughts and emotions. A voice within me begins the lecture myself for being so agitated by having to engage in such superficial things as conversation,
“You’ll laugh if I tell you the truth.”
“Try me.”
His reply is instant, and my eyes snap to his. Those endless gems continued to hold that same unwavering curiosity. Looking at me as if he truly was interested in each and every word I spoke and as if it was of uttermost importance.
God, I hoped that it wasn't my own selfish ideals interpreting such things.
Whatever hesitance I had been experiencing beforehand faded away into the unknown as I relent and spill my truth.
“I couldn’t handle another pesky conversation with a stuck-up prince vying for my hand in marriage," I say, feeling a sudden weight being lifted off my shoulders when I finish. Relief fills me as I come to realize how lovely it felt to finally admit such a thing out loud to someone.
Miya-san chuckles softly and my eyes snap back to his without missing a beat. I watched as he attempted to cover his reaction by placing a hand over his mouth, but he failed, miserably. I looked at the silver-haired man in disbelief. My offended, widened, eyes stared at him as if to say "You did not just do that".
"I'm not laughing at you, I swear," he says, wearing that stupidly kind smile of his.
"I'm just imagining how awful it must have been to talk with all these vazey sleazeballs… God I would hate to navigate a conversation as awkward as the ones you've had"
Surely my heart had to have been failing as I felt it stutter within my chest.
Seriously, I ask again, what in the Lord's name was going on with me?
His gentle laughter settled down and the two of us fell into a short silence. I refused to admit how much I hate it. His eyebrows furrowed for a moment and he looked as if he had been contemplating something.
Another moment of silence passed before he finally spoke.
“Say, do ya fancy a dance by any chance?”
“Pardon?” I questioned, taken aback by his forwardness. I watch as he shrugs his shoulders ever so slightly, his grin remaining on his lips.
“I mean, this is a party is it not? ‘N you look like you could use some fun. I doubt you’d want to spend the rest of your evening brooding in a corner… So what do ya say?” Miya-san says these words as if they were as easy as breathing air and he offered a hand to me. Those chocolate browns now holding something I couldn’t recognize but I could tell his gaze was fond, inviting even.
Good Heavens...as if I had it in me to say no.
I place my hand in his and our fingers intertwine. With this contact, I came to realize how rough his hands were, and with my palm firmly against my own, I could clearly feel the calluses adorning them. The contrast in our skin somehow managed to make my mind go haywire.
I allowed him to take the lead as he made a B-line to the dance floor. The two of us weaved through the crowd and soon we were in the midst of all the commotion. The music was much louder and I could hear conversation flowing all around us.
“You’re quite a bold one, aren’t you?” I quipped as the man turned to me and took a hold of both my hands, pulling me closer to him ever so slightly. His thumbs soothingly brushed over the bones of my knuckles and I found myself choking on my breath.
“Not necessarily, I just believe that the belle of the ball should be the center of attention,” he said grinning at me.
Charming, wasn’t he?
With my hands still in his, he gently moved them towards himself. Carefully, he guided them so that they loosely rested on his shoulders before his own took their place on my waist shortly after. My cheeks were set ablaze at the intimate position.
As the two of us begin to sway, I come to recognize the soft sweet playing of the violin once more as the orchestra starts up a new tune.
It’s slow and harmonic. The singing of strings float through the air, each note featherlight but impactful. The smoky tones of a saxophone soon followed, not being far behind as its sound demanded attention as it accompanied the fluttering keys of a piano and the deep sultry voice of a bass.
I find myself succumbing to this angelic melody, and for the first time this evening, I finally take everything in.
The bliss I had yet to recognize. The spell I had suddenly been put under and am unable to break free from. The rapid beating of my heart and the way that it screamed to flee from its rightful place within my chest. The way I had been introduced to so many emotions and sensations at once to a point where my mind hadn’t been able to comprehend them all.
The way I have allowed myself to be completely captured by a man whose hair shone brighter than the finest of silverish jewelry, whose eyes held such a hypnotic look and contained pools of liquid lilac that I simply wished to drown in. Whose smile relentlessly proved itself to be the biggest star within a night sky. A man whose name I don’t even know with a voice that reminds me of autumn's breeze and whose attention feels like that first sip of hot tea on a winter's morning.
I find myself truly and utterly helpless.
And for the first time in quite a while, Mother’s words echo within my head.
“You haven’t a clue as to what may happen. You may finally find the one.”
The one.
Is that what this was?
...I, who had always refuted the very concept of love-
I immediately imagined what Mother and Father would have thought. The Princess of their Kingdom and only daughter, dancing and mingling with a nameless foreign farmer? I could practically feel their distraught just at the very thought.
My eyes screwed shut as I tried to push the idea of their harsh disapproval out of my mind.
I felt a gentle presence rest at the tops of my head and my eyes fluttered open out of curiosity. Miya-sans forehead rested on mine and I swore my brain short-circuited as I quickly forgot about whatever nonsense was plaguing my mind.
“I know you royals are very particular with your looks... So I’m not so sure how much my words will be worth as a simple commoner...” he muttered softly, eyes hooded and solely focusing on me (as if they ever strayed in the first place) and I was too late to realize that I’d forgotten how to breathe.
“But... you’re absolutely breathtaking”
I swore I could feel the sparkles and hearts swirling within my eyes as he spoke. I grinned from ear to ear and I concluded that I could care less about whatever my parents may think of us.
“You don’t look too bad yourself”
My reply is light-hearted and teasing and I could feel myself being sent into a daze as he laughs in response.
A sudden wave of euphoria washed over me as it felt as if everything around me became a blur.
And it truly just was me and him.
I felt so whole, so free. No more of those intruding thoughts or sinking feelings.
No remnants of resent or disgust.
I felt... safe. Content.
His hands find my own once more before spinning us around, arms stretched before one another. A laugh passed my lips as my hair and gown flowed gently with the movements. My eyes closed as I reveled in the moment.
Perfection was the only word that came to my mind.
Slowly, our twirling came to halt, as my eyes reopened to meet his gaze for the nth time that night. My heart blared in my ear and easily muffled out the music that was still being played. Beneath my skin, everything was cardiac as I drowned in every element that made him, him.
Suddenly brought chest to chest with him, I feel our beating hearts against one another. Matching each other's pace and coming together as if this is what they had been made for. I’m forced to look up to continue to meet his gaze and my mind goes numb.
The fluttering of eyes.
The gentle yet intense breaths being taken.
The first graze that ignites the fire within.
Completion.
Ripped straight from a fairy tale I mind myself afloat as my lips meet his. It is a sensation that, to this day, I am unable to describe. It truly was something that couldn’t be compared to. I heard angels singing and church bells ringing. I felt as if a piece of myself, that I didn’t even know I had lost, had been found. As if every moment in my life so far was nothing more than the climax for this very kiss.
Two pieces of a puzzle slotting together and moving harmoniously in sync.
I begin to succumb to those notions that have plagued my entire being.
I, who refuted the very concept of love and all the complications that came with it-
-had completely and utterly fallen head over heels.
★。＼｜／。★
The night, unfortunately, comes to a close before I knew it, and the man leaves me with his name before we reluctantly part ways.
Osamu.
His name plays in my head over and over again. Each and every letter, each syllable, blending together in perfect harmony and making my brain go into overdrive.
The five letters carve themselves into my heart, forever leaving a mark and leaving a promise that the two of us shall meet once more.
So as I now find myself within my chambers, laying alone and daydreaming. My eyes feel hazy as a now-familiar warmth spreads throughout my chest.
Love at first sight.
A concept I despised and rejected by all means.
An occurrence that I had thought was nonsensical and impossible to have.
Childish. Ridiculous. Preposterous.
...
It was. It truly and utterly was all those things.
It was a feeling that runs you over like a steaming train, hitting you so quick you have no chance of fighting back.
It was multiple overwhelming sensations coursing through your being as your senses are set ablaze.
It's that sudden rush of fresh air when stepping out into the world for the first time.
It's those unshakable nerves before seeing the doctor.
It's sweet.
It's scary.
It's absurd in every way imaginable.
Love at first sight.
How lucky was I to experience such a thing?
★。＼｜／。★
A/N: This one was a doozy- I’m so sorry if any portion of this is nonsensical or dull... It really has been a long while since I’ve written a proper fic ;-;
But anyways- I love Osamu very much;;; he’s just so funky
I will be writing more things soon- I promise- more fics and more headcanons coming soon^^
