TJ

Semi-healthy eater, occasional fitness enthusiast, and body positivity advocate! Lifting, loving, and living unapologetically. Main: tjeme218. Instagram

[tjemefitness]

What's your number

I mean if you’re going to be bold then at least come off anon, lol

[tjeme218]

5 tumultuous years apart. It’s surreal to see these two bodies simultaneously. I’ve always considered these two versions of myself to be separate people. The experiences I’ve had, my expectations, the people I’ve surrounded myself with, the relationships I’ve been in, my mental state, my health, my concern for myself, etc. are so drastically dissimilar. Some of that comes with growing up and getting to know yourself better, but, in my experience, a majority of it has come from being seen differently in these two states.

If you asked me how I felt about being fit during the peak of that lifestyle, I probably would’ve told you how happy I was and how electrifying it was to finally be seen. If you asked me that same question two and a half years ago, I would’ve revealed the truth; I didn’t really like the person I was or the attention I garnered. I was not emotionally ready for what being fit would bring into my life or the relationships that resulted from it. I felt like an imposter, because, within that slender exterior, I was still an insecure, overweight girl who would do anything to be liked and fit in. If you asked me the same thing today, I’d tell you that I don’t her. I’ve blocked out so much of that life because it’s never made sense to me. I was living through a jumbled mess of adulthood and all of the first experiences I should’ve had years before then. My identity was misconstrued: I was confused about who I truly was, angry that people liked the miniature version more, and saddened to have gained everything I’d been wanting at the expense of losing myself along the way.

No one warns you of the mental toll that a new body may take on you. There are all of these guides to help you lose weight/get fit, but none that teach you how to adjust from one mindset to another. No precursor or disclaimer that achieving your dream body might unlock worse problems within yourself. And there’s no way to know for sure until you’ve been through it.

So, like I said in the beginning, it’s been 5 tumultuous years. I’m not in love with either version of myself but I’m working on finding a healthy midpoint. I’m aiming for the sweet spot and one day I’ll get there. But for now, I’m okay with with where I’m at. I’ll likely feel differently in another 5 years. Only time will tell.

[tjemefitness]

An update since it’s been a little over 5 years since I first introduced y’all to my journey. I feel like this is a part of the weight loss/fitness cycle that no one really wants talks about and I felt that it was important to discuss. I hope that this helps those of you who might have a similar experience or feel alone in this. Please be kind to yourselves and remember to take care of all parts of yourself, not just your physique.

[tjemefitness]

23 is old news… Here’s to 24!

Another year down and so many lessons learned. How grateful I am for my heath, friends, and loved ones. Fingers crossed for a sparkling and successful golden year!

Until next time, my friends. Stay safe and keep shining ✨

[tjeme218]

🚨 New Video Alert 🚨

“Pre-Grind Preparation || Fitness Chronicles: Part 2”

Hey y'all! Here's a little introduction to the new beginning of my physical health journey. I wanted to form a base point of reference for this process and figured this was the best way to do it. Consider it a pre-grind preparation.

Closed captions provided by yours truly. Much love to all the impaired homies!

[tjemefitness]

Subscribe!

[tjemefitness]

✨Among clutter and chaos shall I continue to grow. Among darkness and pain shall I continue to change✨

Been dealing with quite a bit here lately with my health (spinal injury) but I just wanted to pop in and say hello! I have a few more months of treatments, healing, and building to do before I can get back on the grind. Looking forward to the aftermath. More to come, farewell for now.

[tjemefitness]

Hello earthlings! I’ve been away for a little while, I know. I’ve been working on reconstructing my peace and finding balance in my life. I didn’t realize just how stressed out I’d been until I hit the scale and registered a dreaded 305. I thought I would be a lot angrier with the result but I think I’ve finally recognized that shaming myself for gaining weight is pointless. Instead I will be thankful for the things my body can do and treat myself with a bit more kindness as I continue to work on my health. It’s a slow going process but it’ll be worthwhile.

Also peep these waist training leggings by snapbackshapewear, they are a game changer.

[tjemefitness]

impromptu purgatory moment

[tjemefitness]

✨imaginer c'est choisir✨

Body dysmorphia has been kicking my ass lately but I’ve finally managed to shed out of the hoodies I’ve been hiding in. Perfect timing too, the weather has picked up and my sleeve is about halfway done - all the more reason to step out in something cute.

*I’ve also been thinking about doing a 30-day outdoor cardio calendar. When is the last time y’all ran a mile?

[tjemefitness]

It’s almost my birthday!

22 has been a wild chapter in my story. I’ve learned so much about myself during this time and taken some hard, yet necessary, steps towards my overall health and happiness. I’ve been sober for the last six months and I feel so much better about myself. I’m enjoying the place that I’m in right now and I’m excited about my future for the first time in a very long time. Better things are coming! ✨

[tjemefitness]

New year, new ink, same obsession.

Just a few weeks into the new year and I’m beginning to feel like a brand new person. Keep glowing and growing, my dudes ✨🪴

[tjemefitness]

I won’t lie, pink has been growing on me.

Happy new year, friends! I’ve missed you. Grateful to see another year and hopeful that the positive energy I’ve been manifesting shines through to the next. I feel like the intensity of 2020 as a whole forced me to come out of my shell and see parts of myself that I had grown far too comfortable with hiding. The year was trying - it sure as hell tried to break me - but I got through, as did all of you, and I’m incredibly proud of all of us. Can’t wait to share more of my journey with fitness, sobriety, body positivity, and modeling with you all. Stay safe out there!

Also, shoutout to Sculptshe’s Seamless Adjustable Strap Bodysuit for helping your girl hide how bloated she was after eating what could only be described as a dump truck of waffle fries. ✨

[tjemefitness]

There’s still one day left but I’m just gonna go ahead and say that the 30 day, 100 squat challenge was a success. I was not expecting such an obvious result and I’m honestly baffled by the difference. Onto the next! 🍑✨

[topositivity]

Our next post is a submission by none other than @tjemefitness who has overcome all the negativity and bullying from outside, and managed to develop self love and body positivity. It was absolutely inspiring experience reading @tjemefitness story.

Thank you so much for sharing the story and such lovely photos💗

"My relationship with my body is complicated; I love it for what it does but I haven’t quite figured out how to love being in it. I have my moments where I completely loath being looked at and want to disappear, but I also have moments where I love each and every curve I see and I can’t imagine my life without every little “imperfection”.

I’m in a decent spot with my body positivity: Ive learned how to navigate the highs and lows of my self esteem and bodily perception. It’s been and extremely surreal experience because I’ve been on such a teetering journey of self image for the last decade. I’ve been plus sized for as long as I can remember, but I didn’t internalize what that meant until I was a teenager. I grew up being bullied for my weight and I never quite understood why people had negative things to say about my size or the space I occupied. It was a very strange complex for me because I didn’t think that way when I was young. I never cared what people wore or what they looked like, just how they made me feel. In my mind I wasn’t any different as long as I was a good person. Now that I’m older I understand more of how social influence affects peoples view of self worth. I just wish I’d never lost that adolescence naivety because it can be incredibly hard to love yourself when the world is telling you that you shouldn’t."

[tjemefitness]

Let’s talk about normalizing overweight, plus size, and otherwise abnormal bodies for a second.

I’m a proud plus sized person equipped with scars, dips, cellulite, stretch marks, and discoloration - none of which I will EVER apologize for having or showing off. They are not shameful, they are not disgusting, and whether or not I have them should not matter to anyone else.

Self worth and self esteem should not be dependent on body image. Do NOT let anyone make you feel like you’re less than because of your appearance. Most people fall outside of the societal norm of what a “suitable” body is. It isn’t your responsibility to convince the world of your worth. Size is not a discouraging or determining factor - no one should be seen or loved any differently because of it.

I could write an essay on my feelings toward this topic but I will stop on this note: as people we are so much more than meets the eye. Please don’t let superficial complexes define you. You deserve to be seen deeper than the vessel you occupy.

[tjemefitness]

It’s the bottom of the ninth and I can’t catch a ball to save my life. So long spooky season, catch you next time.

[tjemefitness]

Today’s the day! I’m starting my 30-day, 100 squat challenge. Quick shoutout to @obsessionshapewear for making leggings fit for the challenge. Get $15 off when you snag a pair from me.

If you’re one of the wonderful people joining me, here are a couple of things to keep in mind:

Drink water! Staying hydrated is important for muscle retention and recovery. You body will thank you for it.

Remember to stretch before and after your sessions. Staying limber will make your workouts easier and reduce your chances of joint pain and/or muscle strain.

Take your time! Stop and rest whenever you need to. Pace yourself and listen to your body to avoid unnecessary injury.

Good luck! 👍🏽

[tjemefitness]

Fun fact: the gluteus maximus spans over the entirety of the buttocks and around the outer side of the hips, thereby largely affecting your overall hip shape and appearance. Strengthening this muscle can reduce lower back and knee pain by providing more stability to the pelvis. But if you don’t care about any of that, working this muscle will also affect the prominence of your buttocks, helping you achieve the peachy instagram booty of your dreams.

Therefore, I’m starting a rotating, 30-day, 100 squat challenge! Feel free to join me from 10/25-11/24 for a pre-holiday challenge that’ll give you the burn of a lifetime.

*See my “fitness challenges” highlight for updates. Calendar & rotations dropping soon! 💪🏽