What If I Told It In My Dreams
Fandom: MDZS/Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation/The Untamed
Pairing: Xiyao
Characters: Lan Xichen, Jin Guangyao
Rating: M (There will be a second chapter of this, and this will Increase at that point)
Summary:
To the best of Lan Xichen's knowledge Jin Guangyao had not been a sleepwalker before the war. Not once while on the run had he woken to see his companionâs slight form - the same one now silhouetted in the faint moonlight from the open door of the Hanshi - wandering about their camps or rooms.
Jin Guangyao sleepwalks his way to the Hanshi, to his er-ge's bed, and straight into a love confession neither of them were expecting out of a mundane visit to the Cloud Recesses.
Read on AO3
This fic is result of meing being possessed by this post, and a very fun back-and-forth brainstorming conversation with @dumbbo-yyy. 'This will be fun and short and sweet!' I said, 'this will be good practice before getting into Xiyao prompts for the gotcha4gaza' I said. Well, most of these things are true, but hope you enjoy 5K words of silly and sweet goo before an eventual smutty chapter 2 to come - rating and tags will be adjusted accordingly at that point, but for now all you'll have to look out for is a flash of Lan Xichen's Horny Thoughts(TM).
When Lan Xichen woke in the middle of the night to the sound of the Hanshiâs door opening, his first reaction was to call Shuoyue to his hand. Â He felt this was a reasonable reaction; everyone had been more on edge since the war, and to the best of his knowledge Jin Guangyao had not been a sleepwalker before it either. Â Not once while on the run had he woken to see his companionâs slight form - the same one now silhouetted in the faint moonlight from the open door - wandering about their camps or rooms.
âA-Yao?â Xichen asked, his voice rather rougher with sleep and more confused than normal. Â He sent Shuoyue back to her stand with a flick of his hand and his qi. Â âIs something the matter?â
A-Yao didnât reply. Â Instead he crossed the room to where Xichen was still lying half propped up on one elbow. Â He placed a hand on the bed so he could lean closer. Â Xichen was very aware of the way the bed dipped to the side of him, the warmth of A-Yao so close, the way he could just barely feel A-Yaoâs breath ghost over his face. Â He scarcely dared to move.
Xichen was not ashamed to admit to himself, but perhaps he would be ashamed to admit out loud, that he had dreamed of this at least a few times before. A-Yao would seek him out some time in the evening, or even later at night when he should have been asleep.  He would breathe out, âEr-ge,â or if Xichenâs mind was feeling particularly forward, âHuan-ge,â and then climb into his lap or over him in bed and kiss him, every hot and lovely line of him pressed up against Xichen.  Things would inevitably progress from there and Xichen would wake up in desperate need of a good long while in meditation or an early morning dip in the cold springs, all the while reminding himself that the sound of A-Yao crying his name as he finished was not a thing he got to have.  Or sometimes, he would not need either of those things at allâŠ
Despite certain similarities, that did not seem to be what was happening now. Â All of his senses were far too sharp, for one, and he really wasnât sure his mind would make up something quite like A-Yao saying, in a much more light and affectionate voice than usual, âGoodnight kiss for Zewu-jun,â just before kissing him right in the center of his forehead.
âA-Yao, what?â Xichen managed to force out around the sudden and all-consuming squeeze of his heart in his chest. Â His skin was tingling where A-Yao had kissed, and a delighted, if also slightly confused, shiver ran down his spine.
Instead of replying, A-Yao said, âGoodnight kiss for er-ge,â and kissed the same spot again. Â This time his hands also came up to cradle Xichenâs head, thumbs running back and forth across the place that his forehead ribbon would lay if he were not dressed for sleep. Â That plunged Xichen into an entirely different kind of wanting, the kind where his ribbon was A-Yaoâs to touch, his to keep.
It already was, but up until this moment Xichen had not been sure it was something A-Yao might even want, for all his own personal longings.
Heâd barely had time to catalog, much less actually sort through, any of those feelings, before A-Yao straightened back up and turned to leave without another word. Xichen stood from the bed, feeling as ungainly as when he was young and still learning how to grow into his long limbs, and took a few large strides across the room to catch A-Yao with a hand on his upper arm before he could walk back out the door.  âPlease, A-Yao, is something the matter?  You are acting⊠unlike yourself.â
When A-Yao didnât turn to look at him, or make any other acknowledgment that heâd even heard, Xichen took his other arm and gently turned him himself. Â A-Yao moved without any sort of resistance. Â His eyes were open and looking forward, but they did not appear to be seeing. Â
For one terrible moment of stomach-dropping terror, Xichen thought that somehow his younger sworn brother, his A-Yao, his heart, had been turned into a puppet. Â He yanked at the collar of A-Yaoâs under-shirt, pulling it down far enough to see that his neck was still unblemished in the moonlight. Â It was impossible anyway, wasnât it? Â There should have been no remnants of Yin Iron anywhere near Gusu to trouble them.
âA-Yao, are you⊠asleep?â Xichen asked finally, as the last possible option.  This time, he did not expect an answer.  âLet me take you back to your rooms.â  He placed one hand at A-Yaoâs back, between his shoulder blades, and took his hand with the other, to guide him down the short set of steps leading up to the Hanshi.  How he had managed to navigate up them without tripping or making noise the first time Xichen was not sure.
By the position of the moon in the sky, the shichen was zi. Â Cloud Recesses should be quiet and mostly empty, but Xichen still took them along lesser used pathways behind buildings and through wooded gardens just in case. Â A-Yao would not appreciate being seen in this state of undress. Â
It did have the unfortunate side effect of giving Xichen plenty of time to think on his suddenly heightened awareness of A-Yao beside him, of every place they touched. Â His hand between A-Yaoâs shoulder blades, and the way he could either spread out his fingers to cover much of the span of his back, or how he could let it slip lower to rest at the curve of his waist. Â The loose hair brushing across the back of his hand, soft and lovely and so tempting to run his fingers through.
A-Yaoâs hands, Xichen was more acquainted with. Â He had been so bold as to run his thumbs soothingly across them the first time that they met, after all, trying to communicate wordlessly that he deserved far more than the scorn heaped upon him by the young cultivators around him. Â And then, when Xichen had been injured and weak with fever on the run from the Wens, those hands had tended his wounds with competence and gentleness. Â Since, he had watched A-Yaoâs hands on teacups and on swords, held forward to bow, and in controlled, elegant gestures as he explained some brilliant idea. This didnât mean, though, that Xichen had any tolerance built up against the wanting inspired by A-Yaoâs touch. Â Right now his hand was limp and relaxed, but Xichen could imagine the sensation of those smaller fingers lacing through his own. Â Could dream of A-Yao lifting their hands to his lips to kiss Xichenâs with a secretive smile on his face. Â It was for the best for both of them, perhaps, that they were walking uninhabited paths of Cloud Recesses, as Xichen felt his ears flame at the idea.
Reaching the walled courtyard around the guest quarters was a relief from Xichenâs own mind, but did present a new problem: although Cloud Recess was back to itâs old quiet, isolated self, everyone felt more comfortable with an increased watch after the Sunshot Campaign. Â The disciple at the gate looked alert for a Lan at this time of night. Â Objectively a good thing, although it meant they would require another route in. Â How A-Yao himself left without raising notice was a question he suspected he may never get an answer to.
âApologies, A-Yao,â Xichen said, and hooked an arm beneath his legs to lift him. Â The way his relaxed head and neck drooped backwards was too disconcerting, so Xichen arranged the man in his arms so that A-Yaoâs head rested against his shoulder, and his arms draped around Xichenâs neck. Â Then, he had to take a moment just for himself, to revel in the feeling of A-Yao pressed to his chest, the perfect comfort in that pressure and weight. Â Xichenâs precious burden and his feelings secured, he jumped silently over the fence.
They landed alongside A-Yaoâs pavilion, in the shadows between it and a tall pine tree. Â In the courtyard, no one lingered outside of their rooms, although it seemed a few might still be awake by the diffuse light from behind window screens. Â Xichen made sure to step carefully and stick to the shadows along the building, until he could slip through the door to A-Yaoâs room.
Inside, he crept through the dark, aware that if he were to kick over a table all his caution would have been for not. Â The bed itself, he could see as his eyes adjusted, was well rumpled, as if before A-Yao began his nighttime wanderings he had not been sleeping restfully. Â Xichen didnât have the hands to rearrange the bed neatly again, so on top of the blankets it would have to be.
Except, when he set A-Yao onto the bed and made to stand, he was stopped by the arms around his neck. Â It seemed at some point that A-Yao had clasped his hands, and would not be so easily dislodged.
âPlease, A-Yao, I need to return,â Xichen murmured to him.
A-Yao made a noise in his sleep, a displeased sounding one. Â As if he had heard and understood.
Xichen contemplated his options. Â Coaxing A-Yaoâs arms away would be easy enough, or he could slip his head out from between them, but the thought was suddenly unconscionable. Â A-Yao hadnât been sleeping well here, and the dark circles beneath his eyes had not gone unnoticed either, so Xichen suspected he was not sleeping well at home either. Â He could not bear to disturb him when it seemed, in a mirror of Xichenâs own wishes, A-Yao wanted him to stay.
He could lay down right here next to A-Yao and fall back asleep. Â He was sure sleep would come to him very easily, even though it wasnât his own bed, with the comforting warmth of A-Yao beside him. Â But then, what explanation could be given for the sect leader having spent the night in his own guest quarters? Â No, it had to be better to bring A-Yao back to the Hanshi after all. Â The two of them had taken breakfast together before, or gone for walks in the early morning, on days when A-Yao was awake early enough to keep Lan hours. Â Although Xichen now had a suspicion that it may be after nights when he had not slept at all. Â That would do - he would just need to wake A-Yao in time in the morning and no one would be the wiser.
Back out through the door they went, then, and over the wall to retrace their steps through the gardens. Â This time though, Xichen held A-Yao the whole way. Â A-Yao had not released his arms, and so the thought of putting him down had barely even crossed Xichenâs mind before it was gone. Â
They made better time that way, as he didnât have to be as aware of all the hazards that A-Yao could not see and may trip over. Â Before long, he was sliding open the door to the Hanshi, and then laying A-Yao down for a second time, on his own bed. Â He immediately missed the weight and heat of him.
Xichen sat down beside A-Yao, leaning down so as to not tug on his own neck. Â He ran a hand up and down A-Yaoâs upper arm soothingly, and said, âI promise I will stay. Â Will you let me go?â Â A-Yao made another set of sleepy grumbling noises, which Xichen found unbearably cute, but then surprisingly released his grip. Â He left his arms stretched out across the empty space of the bed, as if he was reaching for Xichen even still.
Xichen slid into the empty side of the bed, and carefully draped one of A-Yaoâs outstretched arms across his own chest before he could get caught in thoughts of what they each would or would not do in the daylight, the lines of propriety he was choosing to cross in the shadowy, unreal time between dusk and dawn. Â Some small, unnoticed tension leaked out of Xichenâs body at the weight. Â A-Yao, for his part, made another noise and cuddled closer, his head shifting until it nearly touched Xichenâs, and the arm across Xichenâs chest tightening just enough to be holding rather than laying limply.
Xichen let out a shaky breath through the sudden squeeze in his heart, and turned his head so he could kiss A-Yao on the forehead in a mirror of the kiss that began this all. Â âGoodnight, A-Yao,â he whispered into the small, warm space between them, such an intimacy that it seemed the words were swallowed by the silence of the house.
He wasnât sure if he would be able to sleep, through the onslaught of feelings that A-Yao here in his bed like this caused in him, but Xichen was out almost the moment he closed his eyes.
Jin Guangyao startled awake sometime in the small hours before dawn to the sensation, of all things, that he was too warm. Â That barely even happened in Lanlingâs hot and stifling summers, much less when visiting Cloud Recesses. Â Next he realized that he was in the wrong bed, and the source of the extra, unexpected heat was another person in it next to him. Â In this moment perhaps more than any others, he was grateful for his bodyâs instinct to freeze and assess when startled, as he breathed through a jolt of fear. Â
This was not the brothel. Â
He was many years away from the risk of a patron finding their way to his bed uninvited.Â
By the pervasive scent of sandalwood and pine, he was still in Cloud Recesses, and a quick assessment of himself showed he was unbound, uninjured, and still clothed. Â His instincts had kept his bedmate from waking as he did - despite the way one of his arms was slung across a broad chest and his knees tucked up between his body and the personâs hip - which would afford Jin Guangyao the chance to carefully draw himself away and see who this person was, and then slip away with them none the wiser.
Even still he had to clench his jaw to help concentrate past the rapid, fearful beat of his heart as he gently leaned back from where their heads rested on the same pillow, only a cun away from Jin Guangyao pressing his forehead to their temple. Â The manâs face came into focus, the serene sleeping features of Lan Xichen.
There had been fury waiting in the wings of Jin Guangyaoâs heart, hidden behind the fear. Â He was grateful to be lying down in the face of his sudden light-headedness as both feelings drained away. Â
So then, what had brought him here? Â He didnât feel sick or in pain, at least no more than usual, so this was not a case of a sudden illness in the night and er-ge staying by his side at the healers. Â Nor had he fallen asleep in the Hanshi; Jin Guangyao had a distinct memory of walking back to his own guest quarters after taking tea with er-ge last night.
That left one option. Â More than once since the war, Jin Guangyao had fallen asleep in his own room and woken sometime later standing in a garden or colonnade or empty hall echoing with the silence of deep night. Â Heâd taken to locking his door, but had foolishly, hubristically, thought that here in Cloud Recesses he might have less to guard against. Â He wasnât even sure that had been a conscious thought, which was infinitely worse.
And where had that thought brought him? Â To er-geâs bed. Â As if his sleeping mind knew what he wanted most, and discarded all of the barriers he put up against it in his waking life to bring him right here.
The last time they had slept like this had been when they were in hiding together.  Single rush mats or hard, small beds; threadbare blankets that left them both shivering horribly, it had only been⊠sensible to share.  Jin Guangyao didnât think heâd had as good of a nightâs sleep since.  Not in Nightless City under Wen Ruohanâs ever-paranoid eye, or in Jinlintai amongst itâs unique crowd of vipers.  He took all of those questions about the last time heâd felt safe enough to relax and sleep without worry and shoved them to the back of his mind.  Heâd always known what it meant to do what was needed, that was no different.
This though, this was not needed. Â It would not advance his reputation or his plans, may in fact actively harm them were anyone to find out and decide to gossip. Â (He might be safe from the Lans. Â Might. Â Jin Guangyao knew better than to trust even rigid rules when pitted against human nature.)
And yet.
And yet. Â He had shifted the blanket down off of his shoulder without thinking about it, and now he was the perfect temperature. Â Warm and sinking into the bed, surprisingly soft for his expectations of the Lan clan. Â Er-geâs breathing was quiet and even, bringing Jin Guangyaoâs into pace with it, and stilling much of the storm that was always stirring in his heart or mind. Â If he let himself forget for a moment all of the reasons and admonishments, he could let his head fall forward, lean against er-geâs temple the way it almost was when he woke. Â He could linger here, in this quiet, timeless moment suffused with the smell of sandalwood incense and fir trees, and with a wanting so gentle it nearly didnât hurt. Â Just long enough to fill his heart with something that could sustain him for a little while when he needed to leave. Â He could do this and still slip away before er-ge and the rest of Could Recesses woke.
He remembered dozing for some time, stretches of peace without thought interspersed with indulgent awareness of comfort, and soft robes beneath his curled hands. Â And then, he was waking to the feeling of er-ge rising from bed, and cursing himself for letting his guard down a second time within the same night.
Something made Jin Guangyao stay still and keep his eyes closed. Â He let himself lie sleepy and relaxed in er-geâs bed, as he listened to him move about the room. Â The sounds of rustling fabric as he dressed, a comb through his hair, and then his footsteps were returning to the side of the bed.
Lan Xichen leaned over and kissed his forehead, right where he painted his cinnabar dot. Â With his lips still close enough to brush Jin Guangyaoâs skin as he spoke, he said, âI will be back with breakfast momentarily, love.â
Jin Guangyao had years and years of iron control to draw on. Â Years of holding himself still, and smiling, and subservient, or whatever other emotion another person expected of him. Â Years of speaking with perfect care, always choosing the words that would show himself as a refined gentleman, that would only enhance his reputation. Â All of it deserted him in an instant, as he opened his eyes and reached out to grasp at the sleeve of his er-geâs robes. Â He asked, âDo you mean it?â
Er-ge jerked just the tiniest bit in surprise, and some distant corner of Jin Guangyaoâs mind wanted to smile at catching him, always so perfectly upright and graceful, off guard. Â âHuh? Â A-Yao did I wake you? Â I am sorry.â
Jin Guangyao ignored that question in light of repeating his much more pressing one. Â âDid you mean it?â
Now er-ge just sounded confused rather that surprised. Â âMean what? Â That I will return with breakfast? Â It really will just be a moment, but you can sleep longer if you wish.â
Merciful Guanyin, was he going to have to say it? Â But no, he had years and years of practice keeping it behind his teeth, all the way back to when his er-ge was only Lan-zongzhu and there had been an impulse in his fingers to sign off every secret letter, âIn case I never see you again, I fear I have fallen in love with you.â Â It kept him from being able to say it now. Â Instead, his hand flexed a little tighter in the fabric of er-geâs sleeve, and he said, âYou know thatâs not what Iâm talking about.â Â Heâd intended it to come out a bit tart, a bit teasing, but the slowness of early morning diluted his tone down far too close to pleading.
Er-geâs eyes softened, and he sat back down on the bed. Â Jin Guangyao was hyper-aware of how their hips nearly brushed, the blanket between them pulling tight across his waist as it was caught beneath er-ge.
One of er-geâs hands reached out, as if to touch Jin Guangyaoâs face, but then stopped at the last moment. Â Instead he laid it over the hand on his sleeve. Â âDoes A-Yao want me to mean it?â he asked. Â He did a much better job at a teasing tone, but underneath was a steady earnestness, that promised if Jin Guangyao said no, he would step away and get breakfast. Â They would eat and drink tea, perhaps walk the paths on the mountain, and the conversation would drift in other directions, never to find its way back again. Â If that is what he wanted.
He did not want that vision, not at all. Â He wanted his er-geâs love, wanted to be able to love him in return. Â Even if it did nothing to advance his plans, to advance his reputation. Â He swallowed hard, and turned that iron control in a different direction, towards making himself speak. Â âI want you to mean it. Â Please, er-ge. Â Please mean it.â
Er-geâs face lit up, like heâd set off a firework beneath his skin. Â âA-Yao, my A-Yao, my love.â
Jin Guangyao felt his cheeks heating, and resisted the nonsensical urge to say âyou canât say things like that!â Â He was the one who had asked for it after all. Â Instead, he ran his hand up from Xichenâs arm to his shoulder, and tugged lightly before ordering. Â âCome back here, then, and kiss me.â
The way er-geâs eyes darkened was very interesting; he cataloged that away for the future. Â And then, he didnât think anymore at all because a pair of soft, warm lips were pressing to his own. Â Jin Guangyao let his eyes slip shut and wrapped his other hand around the back of er-geâs neck. Â
It kept him from going very far when he pulled back, and searched Jin Guangyaoâs face. Â He must have been satisfied with what he saw, because he smiled so brightly, and tipped forward again, this time to rest their foreheads together. Â Even more than the kiss, the feeling of the metal cloud piece of er-geâs ribbon against his skin made him gasp. Â âMy er-ge. Â My Lan Xichen,â he tested out into the bare inches of space between him, his voice curling around the words possessively, and heard er-geâs breath hitch.
And then er-ge was kissing him again, once, twice, three more times. Â Each just that bit firmer than the last, enough to start to bring up the heat in Jin Guangyaoâs blood, before he pulled back. Â Jin Guangyao was just about to work himself up to a pout when er-ge asked, with a truly incandescent joy in audible in his voice, âWould A-Yao mind if breakfast was delayed? Â I did not get the chance to properly appreciate holding you.â
Well, now, how was he supposed to complain about such a sweet request like that? Â He found himself shaking his head, while the arms still around er-ge pulled him in closer in answer.
Er-ge planted one knee on the bed, so he was momentarily looming over Jin Guangyao, which he filed away for more exploration later given the swoop in his stomach. Â Then er-ge swung his other leg up too, to the other side of Jin Guangyao, and tipped himself in an undignified sprawl onto the empty, opposite side of the bed. Â The corners of his mouth were drawn up in delight and amusement, seemingly at his own antics, and his eyes crinkled up. Â The near-laughter on his face carried over into his voice as he said, âCome here,â and reached out an arm to drag Jin Guangyao over on top of him, so he was laying with his back to er-geâs chest.
And, oh. Â Jin Guangyao breathed out and felt as if all of his muscles and bones had deserted him with how easily he relaxed into that hold. Â He tipped his head back so it was pillowed on er-geâs shoulder, and his eyes drifted back shut almost without his own accord. Â His body reminding him with a vengeance that heâd had an interrupted night of sleep and this was still earlier morning than he preferred, and then throwing in, just for good measure, that he was now warm, comfortable, and safe.
âIâve dreamed of doing this,â er-ge said, wrapping his arms across Jin Guangyaoâs chest and belly, and pressing a kiss against his temple. Â âI will be content for as long as you might want to still sleep.â
Jin Guangyao didnât fully sleep again, but he did let himself drift as the sun slowly crept up over the windowsills and across the floor. Â He could feel the rise and fall of er-geâs breathing against his back, and a hand rubbing gently up and down over his side. Â But, he wasnât accustomed to lazing for particularly long, no matter how blissful the excuse. Â Eventually he stretched a little to indicate that he was fully awake again, and reached out to take one of er-geâs hands and lace their fingers together above his stomach. Â He could feel er-geâs delight in the sharp breath against his back.
âGood morning, A-Yao.â
âMn, good morning,â Jin Guangyao said, and then asked one of the questions that had been on his mind. Â âEr-ge, how did we end up here?â Â He lifted his free hand to indicate the bed, the Hanshi, all of it.
âDo you have no memory of it?â
âI have a suspicion about what happened, but will er-ge tell it for me?â Â Jin Guangyao hoped that he hadnât made a fool of himself in some way, but there was a touch of anxiety swirling low in his gut over the answer.
âI am not sure what happened before this, but A-Yao came to the Hanshi last night while you were still asleep-â yes, just as Jin Guangyao had feared â-ostensibly to say goodnight, and to give me a⊠goodnight kiss.â
Oh dear. Â If er-ge was stumbling over his words even after they had exchanged more kisses, he must have behaved egregiously. Â He kept his body relaxed against er-geâs chest with a force of will, and asked in a lighthearted tone, âHopefully I have been able to provide better kisses while awake?â
Er-ge laughed lightly at himself, and shook his head. Â âA-Yao only kissed my forehead. Â But it was unexpected. Â Before that, I wanted to believe that this is what we meant to each other, but I didnât know.â
âI didnât want to show it,â Jin Guangyao whispered.  âIt wasâŠâ  He thought of promises from sect leaders.  Of tower stairs.  Vicious rumor mills that had said things about him and Nie-zongzhu even when Nie Mingjue had never looked back at him with the same kind of heat he recognized in Lan Xichenâs eyes.  Rumors that were more than happy to look at all his accomplishments, his cultivation, his status and attribute them only to the bedroom at the slightest hint⊠ The way much of that was still there, would always still be there.  The way that this one wanting had never been meant to grow so large as to put at risk all the others.
âMn,â er-ge hummed gently, and tightened his arms in a silent acknowledgment. Â Jin Guangyao breathed out all the tension from his chest and his muscles at not having to say it out loud.
âSo then,â he brought them back to the topic at hand. Â âWhat occurred next?â
âI walked A-Yao back to his rooms, but we had to go over the wall to avoid the guard.â
âThat seems like a flaw in your guard rotation, er-ge,â Jin Guangyao interrupted, with a hint of laughter in his voice.
âAhem, well.â
He turned his head so he could glimpse er-geâs thoroughly pink ears, and took advantage of the proximity to shift just a bit further and press a quick kiss to his lips. Â âIâll stop, Iâll stop.â Â A part of his brain peeled off to consider modifications that could be made from his old Nie rosters to work for the Lan, but that was a concern firmly for later.
Er-ge stole another kiss before he continued, âWhen I tried to return you to bed, you ah, wouldnât let go. Â I decided it would be easier if I brought you back here.â
âEasier how?â
âWe often take breakfast, or morning walks. Â It would raise less questions.â
Jin Guangyao could admit that the logic was sound, even if it had given him a momentâs panic in the middle of the night. Â Well, full story told it did not seem as if he had behaved too egregiously, and certainly couldnât complain about the end result. Â Even still, he sighed, and said, âAh, it is as I had feared, then.â
âDoes A-Yao find himself sleepwalking often?â
âSometimes, recently. Â More often when I am restless or have something on my mind.â
âAnd did you sleep well here?â Â Xichen sounded just the slightest bit hesitant, and hopeful. Â It was sweet, unbearably so.
In revenge for that feeling - or perhaps as a reward, he couldnât quite decide - Jin Guangyao stretched luxuriously, letting one arm land in such a way that it curled around the back of er-geâs neck. Â âHm, wonderfully,â he said, letting the words stretch lazily across his tongue. Â It was the truth, too. Â Even his intermittent dozing had left him feeling more rested than he had in days.
Er-ge nosed against Jin Guangyaoâs neck, newly in reach, and said into the hollow behind his ear, âWell then, A-Yao will simply have to share my bed any time he is in Cloud Recesses.â
âEr-ge!â
âI had meant for sleeping, but A-Yao can of course share my bed in other ways if he would like.â
There were still things Jin Guangyao would need to think through - what they would be to each other, what they would appear to be to the world. Â How this would fit with his other ambitions, or possibly even rewrite them. Â But for now, for now he tilted his head to show more of his neck, flexed his hand against er-geâs skin, and said, âYes.â











