toby 🧠

[tobsterthelobster]

why god?

did god create us,

or did we create him?

in this vast, lonely world

we sit in silence.

tears fall from your eyes;

i stare blankly back at you.

“why did he make me this way?”

i can feel my nose start to burn but i wont cry.

you continue to look at me with watery eyes and i awkwardly shift my gaze.

“i wish you were a real boy so i could love you and god”

“im sorry”

it comes off my lips jumbled, quick like im scared it will cut me if i hold it too long.

your mother calls for you and you take your sleeve and wipe away the tears,

you spare me one last glance as you ball your fist around the cross that rests against your chest;

right where i wish to rest my head.

did god create you this way?

or did they create him that way?

[tobsterthelobster]

hungry hound (pt1 to canine poetry)

hungry hound

i am a disgusting mirage of a boy,

all teeth and sharp edges.

i will tear you limb from limb and Devour them while i beg for you to love me

i will need you so deeply it will ruin us both,

i will need you even after you are nothing but bones stuck in my teeth.

i am a rapid animal best kept outside.

i will ruin your carpets and white sheets,

i will bloody your couch as i lick my wounds.

i will tear your world apart just to messily glue it back together like a small child,

i will color your walls scarlet as i consume all you have to offer of yourself.

i am a hungry hound you should i left to rot on that road.

[tobsterthelobster]

i have a LOT of canine poetry

bloody claws

everything i have ever loved is maimed and scared.

past lovers are bloody reminders, 

every last thing i release from my horrible grasp leaves with gouges through it.

fresh wounds spelling out

“did you ever truly love me?”

i leave disgusting claw marks in everything i hold dear,

i cant let it go.

i know you would be better without me,

but my claws will remain embedded in your skin like taffy in your teeth

and gum in your hair.

im sorry,

i hope those scars heal and you are able to leave me someday. 

but until then i will carefully clean your wounds while i listen to your woes.

[vampiricgerard-deactivated20250]

i put them in a barbie house. if u even care

[tomodachichan6]

I'm a very shy girl but also incredibly open with like, pretty much anything if you ask.

[tobsterthelobster]

literally me like if u ask i will 100% tell u but otherwise it’s nothing

[tobsterthelobster]

poemsss

sorry to inconvenience you.

panicked posts deleted within 10 minutes,

shaky words and paranoid eyes.

lurking around hoping u wont be bothered by me.

thats the last thing i want.

im sorry to inconvenience you.

deleting everything praying you will like me if im silent.

if i don’t talk i cant annoy you after all.

sore ribs and arms that feel buzzy and light.

forcing fingers down my throat. 

making myself smaller so i will not inconvenience you.

long showers where i fear i might pass out.

if i do i hope i hit my head and don’t get back up.

cant inconvenience you if im dead after all.

sorry to inconvenience you.

[tobsterthelobster]

sorry for the hiatus heres a poem!

and suddenly 

and suddenly its august again,

and im 11 crying into my pillow.

and suddenly its december and i am no longer 11

and i havent been 11 for a while,

and i dont cry as much anymore,

and i eat more,

and i sleep better,

and im not afraid to check my notifications anymore.

and suddenly its not august 

and im not 11 anymore.

and i will never be 11 in august again.

[tobsterthelobster]

What’s make a good poem or a good poet

for me its an ability to be related to yk? but poetry is completely subjective so everyone is a good poet just in different ways

[tobsterthelobster]

seasonal sadness

seasonal sadness 

i rot in the bed,

skin melting into soft blankets.

bloody tissues in the trash

and a stained knife in my sink.

i would rather rotting next to you though.

or really if you would just lay beside me and tell me it will be okay.

hold my face in your hands and look at me lovingly.

gently helping me with mundane tasks that become unbearable in this state.

calm patience, loving kisses, and tight hugs.

late night whispers of reassurance as i slowly rot and decay.

this will end with one of us withering away.

if it is you i will hold your corpse close and carve a new home for myself in your chest.

i will love you while i too wither and decay.

[katabasiss]

do you guys think jesus, the son of a carpenter, smelt the wood of the cross & temporarily thought of home

[tobsterthelobster]

brb writing a poem rn that’s heartbreaking

[tobsterthelobster]

humanity

when someone asks me to describe myself i will say,

“human”

they will sigh at me and ask me to go into detail of what makes me me

but human is all i am.

i was a child who permanently had dirt stained knees and bandaids plastered to my legs.

i was a child with a messy room, suction toothbrushes stuck as high as i could reach, and a doll house where barbies, monster high dolls, Disney  dolls, and calico critters lived.

i was a preteen who slept in class, read books until my eyes hurt, and  stayed up late watching movies my parents wouldn’t let me.

i am a teen who loves cereal and doing my makeup and hanging out with friends.

i am a teen in love, 

i am a teen with dreams,

i am human.

[remanence-of-love]

[tobsterthelobster]

me with anyone ive ever loved

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

{David Levithan from you are always going to leave/By Arthur Miller from "The Crucible: A Play in Four Acts}

[tobsterthelobster]

wilbur once again ruining my hopes of a normal spotify wrapped

im obsessing over mine/yours 😞💔

[tobsterthelobster]

this one is a personal fav so i hope yall like it :3

rotting

i was born a month early,

well, technically only 24 days

but we always say a months.

my brother was born the same month. 

but we are 3 years and 359 days apart.

my best friend was born in february,

we are a little less than 8 months apart.

but we are basically conjoined,

connected by the same sins.

the sin of love.

the sin of greed.

always wanting.

changing and growing.

but nothing worth loving is easy.

i will poke fun of my “ancient” friend and they will call me a child.

we will sit side by side in whatever awaits us after our bodies decay.

wilting flowers woven into crowns, 

placed silently on our heads.

a gentle reminder,

we are rotting.

[tobsterthelobster]

sunlight

sunlight 

someone once called me sunlight.

crazy right?

me? sunlight?

i am not sunlight,

i am sharp,

i am a dirty animal.

with matted hair

and bloody teeth

and jagged nails.

nothing but a girl who has kicked and screamed and wailed to survive.

i am not surviving if i am not winning.

i am not winning if i am not surviving.

i am not sunlight.

sunlight is soft, 

sunlight is ugly carpets you can’t remember not having,

blueberry farms

and big pigouts with people you only see there.

big lakes and loud laughter.

sunlight is making school crafts and biting into fake fruit.

i am not sunlight.

but i think one day id like trying to be sunlight.

[tobsterthelobster]

another 😘

vines of healing

deep in my mind, 

buried under songs, and books, and friends,

there rests a home.

it is dark, broken, scary (if you will)

that is where he lives.

he has built himself a home,

deep in the pits of this cavernous hole i call my mind.

he burns and maims memories once dear,

he cuts down the vines of new life growing over him.

his hands are marred,

burned and cut.

he fights his way through school work and friendship and love,

to sit silently at the front.

he sits there quiet, unbothered,

until he isnt.

then he becomes loud. 

mean.

harsh.

and cruel.

when he is bored,

he returns to his home in the back of this black hole of a skull.

he rests his head easy on my tear-soaked pillows.

his lights may turn off

and he may sleep soundly and long enough you question if hes still there,

but he always wakes up again.

wiping the sleep from his cruel brown eyes.

kicking his thick covers off and walking out that door

to cut down those vines of healing once more.