Hi, if you see this post Please don't expect me to be more active on tumblr and bluesky publicly, since I've been more suicidal, I don't know what to do for 2027 onward. I'm really tired of others are going to make up claims and spread false accusations against that they don't know me personally at all. I think it's best if you guys just let me wait to speak my own experience as a victim until I'm mentally stable enough. The serious situation wasn't even in the headcanon for the first time, please stop believing it from others. I was actually attacked by fandom for trying to explain BPD-coded trait for BPD-coded characters and problems with ableism, which doesn't justify for that. They accused me for "defending actions" and falsely accused with insulting words such as "troll/ableist/ragebaiter". Worst fact, not just fandom lacks critical thinking and reading skill when it comes to nuanced topics, but misunderstanding is not excuse to attack innocents with false accusations, including ableism such as using insensitive language and hateful speech to trigger someone who is mentally ill. I am really tired of someone would speak behalf for me, coming up as a someone who is also a suicidal, mentally ill and victim of healthcare abuse. Stop calling heavily coded allegories as "headcanon/projecting", when someone with specific disorder is trying to explain and educating the issues. Allegory actually comes from authorial sources regardless intentions. This doesn't just applies to disability-coding, but also queercoding and POC-coding as well. Just because there is ableism in the past fandom, doesn't mean you should ignore or trivialize at all, it makes still unsafe space for disabled folks in general, especially cluster b in any fandoms (especially medias that has sources of traumas). I can't believe someone would not just harass me with false accusations and shit-talking about informative threads about BPD-coded representations in the media that I made. It's called informative threads for reasons, you are suppose to educate yourself about why bigotry is still problematic in the every day, which doesn't just happen irl as well. I've been demonized for being suicidal and mentally ill at online and irl. I don't understand why people would harass and attacks marginalized folks who are speaking up with issues and trying to educate everyone in the fandom.
I apologize if I sound coming off very upset and overly emotional, but I just wish people don't just tell me to "seek help", as I don't have privilege to be independent person, since my parents aren't educated with mental health topics properly. I'm always still afraid that I would get sent to the psych ward, which is why I rather not to talk about my mental health issues towards my parents. I also apologize if I treat my loved oned as "therapists" than "friends". I'm not trying to coming off sound like as anti-recovery person, but it's not even helping to stop my rumination. It's hard to break cycle, when I'm feeling weak every day. I think it does sucks that I might lose my loved ones because of rumination.
Not to mention, I stopped looking notifs on bluesky and tumblr, as I do think it would be still triggering me for checking it. In fact, I will be focusing more stuff such as playing Pokemon Legends Z-A and spending more time with my mom who was having day-offs. Previous Post: here
