READ PINNED POST IN 2026

Infinite Hiatus

[toipandan]

First Public Post in 2026.

I am sorry for disappearing from infinite hiatus since last year. I apologize if anyone is worried about me ending my life in Late 2027, as my passive suicidal state, physical and mental health has been drained so much. Due to harassment, false claims, and ableism that I got so much last year, even I felt excluded due to most of harassment came from male-centered fandom with internalized misogyny (mainly female fans). No many times how I block them, they will always escape from block evasion, ignoring my boundaries, even harassing me and playing a victim, to trigger my mental state worsening more. I can't be public on tumblr and bluesky again, because people will make up claims about me they don't personally know me. I really don't want unwanted criticism from strangers who don't know me, because it does spread in the fandom to dehumanize me. I don't want people to dig up from older posts, that I couldn't fully delete everything due to rumination, and looking up my older posts could worsen my anxiety-induced chest pain. Yes, I'm no longer identify as transmasc agender anymore, as I currently identify as demigirl (they/she PREFERRED), since internalized misogynistic fandom side worsened my low self-esteem, and self-image.

I know I should not apology everything about my behavior last year but most of my friends know, that I should not owe apology to everyone that I don't personally know. I have fully developed hatred of TC Fandom problems with ableism, sanism, sexism, misogyny, and mostly importantly male-centered internalized misogyny. I don't want to be silenced and excluded for how fandom treats real people behind internet, when my f/o Angie's unpalatable traits reflects real people, as the way fanbase treat her is either 50/50 demonizing her BPD-coded traits (she gets hated more than Heinrinch and Delphi), or treating her as a "perfect angel" by erasing her "flaws" to appeal male-centered fanbase with "perfect victim mindset". Mind you, her having BPD-coded traits is not even headcanon as a random, it's heavily coded from subtexts, and she has at least +5 BPD-coded traits for criteria. Yes, Angie is meant to be coded to BPD-coded character, but it's not completely canon due to the franchise was made in 2000s, and mental illnesses are still treated as taboo topics in Asian media regardless authorical intentions, and most coding were used to bypass censorship/discrimination/etc. I really wish people just stop believing false claims about me that you don't personally know me, and not to police with "but you're projecting disabilities to justify your headcanon-". Stop. I'm not using any symptoms that I experienced IRL as "you're projecting", you don't want to listen of explanation of how unpalatable traits actually exists. No matter how many times people claim "I'm spreading misinformation" on my thread of my analysis, when most people don't take media literacy and critical thinking to understand the lore. This game is not a perfect, but doesn't mean I hate it. I still like this game for lore than gameplay as my own preference. I know I was overly emotional last year, but I don't want to bottle up.

I hate that I have to clear up everything since I've been more active outside public SNS, but the way how fandom treats Linda and Angie needs to stop with ableism, sanism, misogyny, and internalized misogyny. Mind you, I tried my best to explain and debunk Angie's mischaracterization in UtK/SO 2-7, but not just I got called by "disgusting" and attacked by them, I'm a literal a human experiencing with passive suicidal ideation since 13-14, and I almost died from 2 weeks of untreated Pneumonia at 15. Like come on, Angie and Linda are not real people, but the way people don't bother realize flawed suicidal people behind screen exists, especially when Linda's suicidal traits (original in JP, which is actually about school overload and GUILT doesn't have to do with her own school overload) reflects me. I may be not big fan of Linda, but I don't hate her as a character, but I actually heavily dislike her "fans" who treat her as a "perfect angel", demonizing Angie's BPD-coded traits and turning her "workplace stress" as "kys joke". But when actual suicidal person with unpalatable traits behind screen tried to explain with nuances, the fandom hate it. I really wish I could move on from toxic fandom, as rumination tends to worsen everyday, and my sleep schedule went from 3 AM to almost 6 AM... But I couldn't because people might still hate me if they still side up with male-centered misogyny (and internalized) misogyny problems that fandom tends to ignore.

I think it's still kinda hypocritical for how someone gets upset and said "calling hypocrisy is not ableist" at me, but fandom stills glaze Derek over Angie (they also projected unintentional misogyny onto Derek to villainize Angie), as both characters are neurodivergent-coded. When most Angie hate is actually rooted from misogyny, internalized misogyny, sexism, ableism, and sanism. She gets hated more than Heinrich and Delphi. Don't get wrong, I do like Angie as character and writing, but I don't support with her lashing out and wishing upon a harm, while mentally spiraling to suicidal teen. You can still like characters, and don't support bad actions, as long you understand why they are like this. But fandom misunderstood me from what I'm trying to say, but they falsely accuse me for """defending her wrongly""".

Lastly? No, I'm not fully coming back for my main account, I have decided my own plans to separate art blog from my main. I'm less active here, and I want to focus more on Tomodachi Life: Living the Dream. However, TC blogs can still interact with me, as long you are not male-centered misogynists. I was originally going to post on Mental Health Awareness Month, but I was burn out personally. I rather to take contrusctive criticism from closest friends that I know them only. I will re-planning to do character analysis more, not just Angie, but also other characters too.

[toipandan]

Regarding Deleted UtK/SO 2-7 Post

This discussions contains suicidal topics, and harassment that I had received from last year. It's important to keep in mind, that I am Asian experiencing with mental illnesses and passive suicidal thoughts. It's also my authority to speak up issues with sensitivity reading, when it comes to portrayals of sensitive topics in Asian media, that took in Asian country obviously. I am not a medical student, but I have mum who works related to nursing, and I have learned experiences from my mum, and used to have part-time job at elderly house as a cleaner. The deleted post is not done in malicious way (although I do have anger issues and I can get defensive, when people dehumanize nuanced traits), but I was also harassed for explaining about nuances of Angie's portrayal towards to Linda, and it should be reworked (most people are not aware that I'm actually experienced with suicidal thoughts that I forget to put disclaimer). Unfortunately, I don't owe forgiveness who harassed me, such as falsely accusing me as "stalkers/cyberbullies/troll/ect." that they don't personally know me. I'm not going to check if messages involved a death threats or not, because this is not okay. I am also speaking up this as a someone who experienced with undiagnosed BPD and OCD (specifically Harm and Moral OCD when it comes to topics), and the way how people handled Angie is actually harmful for not just mischaracterization, but also many people around the world who relate to her. I think people with suicidal experiences have authority to speak up with issues when it comes to nuances. Regardless, it's unfair to make up claims when the real person in the screen also experienced similar to Angie and Linda in the different ways. You don't silence someone who is not a "perfect angel". I know you don't personally know me, as I went infinite hiatus without seeking professional help in 2025, as I unfortunately stopped getting professional help, due to ableist nurse trying to separate me from my family since a few years ago. Despite I failed to get pro-dx for my undiagnosed BPD and OCD (but school psychotherapist said I almost very close to get OCD diagnosis). If you are not Asian and not properly educated, you have no rights to speak over issues when mental illness is strictly stigmatized in Asian culture, that is rooted with perfectionism and toxic parenting. It's unfortunately TC Fandom is heavily westernized that media literacy isn't the best when it comes to nuances, since Japanese version is not well known outside Asian countries, which is why this game is popular outside Japan. Now since I might likely to be public again almost soon, but I have to scrap everything, restart and trying to move on, as I need to re-explain Angie's BPD-coded traits along with C-PTSD and Autistic-coded traits, which tends to be ignored/denied when subtext exists regardless intentions. I should have mentioned, people also not just demonize Angie's neurodivergent traits, but also her workplace stress and shaming her traumatic experiences, especially former that my mum also experienced with workplace stress in the different ways. I think I disagree to call heavy subtext/allegory as "headcanon", when coding tends to exist, and coding is used to bypass censorship. You are free to disagree, but you have no rights to call someone a "projecting" when actual proofs of subtext exists, especially if marginalized folks knows this character is meant to be a neurodivergent-coded. I literally spent late night for researching. Calling as a "projecting" is still denying and failing educating, when you have unintentional/casual ableism problems just because you can't handle or accept nuances.

To explain context with infamous scene is actually sensitive topics, and I aware the writer (Japanese) and localizers should be handled carefully when the viewer is not Asian perspective outside Asian countries. When I watched the scene first time, I don't heavily get offended or triggered, when Angie was wishing upon a harm to Linda, while the former was mentally spiraling in Code White (aggressive/violent patient) situation. Like what actual BPD person that I met actually said, it's not actually ableist for a mentally ill person wishing upon a harm while splitting when putting with BPD lens. I'm not using BPD as a shield to justify Angie's actions, I'm actually explaining for how nuances works. You can still love a character while understanding nuances, that doesn't justify/defend bad actions. I never have said I wrongly defend her, but you may still have unintentional misogyny (including internalized misogyny), when you fail to acknowledge Angie's traumatic past, just because she is not a "perfect angel". Angie is purposely written to be complex character, because Delphi is commonly associated with her trauma, than Derek's mission. Yes, Angie is actually hated for wishing upon a harm to Linda, when former was mentally spiraling from workload stress without a break. She has no malicious intentions to tell someone to die, wherever she was mentally spiraling or not. But it's actually mischaracterization to say "Angie tells Linda to die" without providing nuanced context, that is also dehumanizing for real people who experienced as her. You need to realize that Angie mischaracterization and hate is rooted with misogyny, and ableism. There is unfortunately female fans do have internalized misogyny who treat her as "perfect angel" by erasing/ignoring her flaws. You don't treat other fans who strongly relate to Angie's flaws. Characters are not real, but they are tools for writing the stories, and exploring nuanced topics. We need to remember that Angie was canonically traumatized for seeing dead child inside an incubator, and refused to hurt a child soldier in the sequel. The Japanese profile actually confirmed she has emotional immaturity, although logical clinical term should be emotional dysregulations which is common in Autism, BPD and C-PTSD. For that case, I don't want to explain much longer. However, you may free to disagree or agree respectfully. If I did something wrong, please note this is not done in malicious and you must correct me in gentle tone, but you have no rights to call someone a "disgusting", when the person writing the post behind is Asian, who experienced suicidal thoughts and mental illnesses. Of course, even if you don't know how different experiences works. Lastly, I don't need to explain why normalizing "UtK/SO 2-7 scene as kys joke" is insensitive, but it invalidates to everyone who experiences similar to Linda or Angie. Lastly, I don't want your "seek help" response which is not malicious intentions, but it's not helping me for harassment that I faced last year over character's nuances. I want everyone to understand the nuanced sensitive topics that should be talked and educate others, not silenced.

For now, I want to focus on things what I really love.

[toipandan]

But before you scroll down!

To anyone is wondering about my fanworks, and I will answer: Yes. I have already planned to separate my art blog from my main blog. But I will not going to mass delete, or nuke my entire main blog. Any older artworks that I made in 2024-2025 will stay forever in my main blog as archive. Unfortunately, I couldn't check unread notes anymore, as I have to ignore everything, regardless if positive or negative. But if it is positive and I will not check it, I appreciate your support with liking my artworks. I made my artworks and stories for myself and my friends. If I made rewriting and redesign of my official medias in the future, I don't want to be seen as competitive, I rather to view as my personal creativity. I don't want my art content to be seen as "sunshine and rainbows", especially when it comes to my flawed representations. For example, I made Isan representation from biological mom's side, and Karelian representation from stepdad's side, who was born and grew up in North Karelia.

Yes, my yume blog will be reworked later, and please be a patient.

Do I still make TC artworks? Yes. Do I want to return and associate with fandom? No. I do not want my own TC artworks to be associated with fandom anymore due to bad experiences. If you want to move on from me, please don't bring up claims about me because you don't know me personally. I don't want to be harassed again, I want to continue and focus more on stuffs what I love. Harassment is not an constructive criticism, and doesn't let anyone to fully heal the wound. I'm a still real human with flaws behind screen. Regardless if you are huge enjoyer of gijinkas/humanization of any medias, Object Shows (mainly BFDI, II, hfjONE), Mii (mainly Tomodachi Life: Living the Dream), Papa Louie Games, ATLUS games (TC (iykyk), Persona), my personal OCs, magical girls, random characters in cultural clothing (ex: my culture), media analysis, or just being a casual enjoyer. My art blog is lighthearted, unless it's semi-vent art. I don't take requests and art trade anymore (except on-hold), as I want to creative from things what I love.

Lastly, here is my IRL photo of TC: NB that I got from last year, because I don't want to be seen as poser (A.K.A. "fake fan" with limited physical media access), since I don't play any Wii games in 2000s until I own Wii in the early 2010s thanks to Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games in Finland. I was born and grew up in the poor rural area in Thailand, sadly.

Anyways, I will try to be at least publicly active with 1-2 post(s) on my main (excluding reblogs), but I was tired from sleeping at very late night at almost 6 AM, and I will try to priotize my mental state.

[toipandan]

Hi, if you see this post Please don't expect me to be more active on tumblr and bluesky publicly, since I've been more suicidal, I don't know what to do for 2027 onward. I'm really tired of others are going to make up claims and spread false accusations against that they don't know me personally at all. I think it's best if you guys just let me wait to speak my own experience as a victim until I'm mentally stable enough. The serious situation wasn't even in the headcanon for the first time, please stop believing it from others. I was actually attacked by fandom for trying to explain BPD-coded trait for BPD-coded characters and problems with ableism, which doesn't justify for that. They accused me for "defending actions" and falsely accused with insulting words such as "troll/ableist/ragebaiter". Worst fact, not just fandom lacks critical thinking and reading skill when it comes to nuanced topics, but misunderstanding is not excuse to attack innocents with false accusations, including ableism such as using insensitive language and hateful speech to trigger someone who is mentally ill. I am really tired of someone would speak behalf for me, coming up as a someone who is also a suicidal, mentally ill and victim of healthcare abuse. Stop calling heavily coded allegories as "headcanon/projecting", when someone with specific disorder is trying to explain and educating the issues. Allegory actually comes from authorial sources regardless intentions. This doesn't just applies to disability-coding, but also queercoding and POC-coding as well. Just because there is ableism in the past fandom, doesn't mean you should ignore or trivialize at all, it makes still unsafe space for disabled folks in general, especially cluster b in any fandoms (especially medias that has sources of traumas). I can't believe someone would not just harass me with false accusations and shit-talking about informative threads about BPD-coded representations in the media that I made. It's called informative threads for reasons, you are suppose to educate yourself about why bigotry is still problematic in the every day, which doesn't just happen irl as well. I've been demonized for being suicidal and mentally ill at online and irl. I don't understand why people would harass and attacks marginalized folks who are speaking up with issues and trying to educate everyone in the fandom.

I apologize if I sound coming off very upset and overly emotional, but I just wish people don't just tell me to "seek help", as I don't have privilege to be independent person, since my parents aren't educated with mental health topics properly. I'm always still afraid that I would get sent to the psych ward, which is why I rather not to talk about my mental health issues towards my parents. I also apologize if I treat my loved oned as "therapists" than "friends". I'm not trying to coming off sound like as anti-recovery person, but it's not even helping to stop my rumination. It's hard to break cycle, when I'm feeling weak every day. I think it does sucks that I might lose my loved ones because of rumination.

Not to mention, I stopped looking notifs on bluesky and tumblr, as I do think it would be still triggering me for checking it. In fact, I will be focusing more stuff such as playing Pokemon Legends Z-A and spending more time with my mom who was having day-offs. Previous Post: here

[toipandan]

Due to my mental health worsening that I received from insensitive comments, harassment and cyberbullying recently on November. I will no longer to post my new content publicly anymore. Thank you for those who supported me with kindness and respect. I rather to take hiatus in both public accounts. I really wish people treat me with kindness and respect. The fandom makes me feel unsafe and invalidating me. I'm tired of being demonized and trivialized. I wish people stop making up claims that they don't know about me. I wish people on this fandom stop harassing me and move on without shit-talking me publicly. I had been dealing with fandom ableism on Trauma Center Fandom on tumblr and bluesky that I faced since 5 months ago. People still unfortunately boiled down my explanation for Angie's BPD-coding as as "justification", "misinformation" and "projection", despite the fact I was trying to explain how BPD-coding works. Not to mention, I'm still battling with suicidal thoughts and I am victim of healthcare abuse, while I'm unable to process on healing. I can't stop ruminating everything. I wish people don't make up claims about me, which is triggering my real event OCD and worsening my suicidal thoughts. I was angry, scared and sad. I already dealt with cyberbullying, and sexual harassment that I faced on when I was 13-14. But this year feels like I'm stuck in 2016 instead of 2025 here. I think my life has no meaning in 2027 onward. I don't know what to do with 2027 onward in the future.

[clarissasbakery]

happy ppt2 anniversary to the one and only woman ever

[clarissasbakery]

i hear you guys you want red 40 back… here is red 40 back in her new beautiful season 4 canon 😻

[toipandan]

According to their logic, people with specific disorders explaining characters' disabled-coded allegories are "you are projecting and justifying for headcanons"?????? /sarc

How many times I need to say that accusing disabled folks with specific disorders calling explanations as "you are projecting" actually not just ignore problems of ableism and sanism, but also trivializing and invalidating real victims with traumas??? I don't have privilege to feel safe at online and real life, as a someone with undiagnosed and stigmatizing mental illnesses. But I need to rant out when I'm talking about my experiences with ableism and sanism that I faced on. But people who call anything as "projecting" are the ones who don't take actual research in the media literacy and speak behalf for marginalized folks. My sibling in christ, have you ever experienced in the fandom ableism and sanism before, especially where they trivialize your mental illnesses? Why people are scared to realize that disabled folks with specific disorders knew patterns and symptoms of disabled-coded characters, especially the franchise has full sources of trauma and psychological horror? Somehow I wish every fandoms needs to realize the ableism is still prevalent in the every fandom and how disabled folks with specific disorders are disregarded. If you call their explanations as "projecting", let's just say you don't want to listen to their explanations and you choose to trivialize them instead. I know I may be stressed and tired with low self-esteem and trust issues, but you can't expect my content being all positive as "sunshine and rainbows" for every time. But I'm trying to live the fullest life I can. Heavy Allegory (Authorial Sources) =/= Headcanon (Fandom)

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #11,476:

When you love a character or ship but the fandom's treatment of either one is horrible as a whole and treat the fans poorly. My favs deserved a better fandom.

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #11,483:

I'm glad that there are new people finding the fandom, but by gods they're trying to start so much drama. Over nothing! They've just decided that someone not interacting with them in the 'right' way is 'being mean' and started making call out posts. *blocked*

[clarissasbakery]

PLASMAKNIGHT. /EVIL

anddd penraser maybe .. :3

i give you this comic i made based off the one that went viral on twt that people kept redrawing (i can’t find it so if anyone has the og comic lmk 😭😭)

[toipandan]

For a small update on my blog focus, my fanwork will be focusing on more content of Object Shows, Happy Tree Friends and MLP, mainly Gijinkas.

I haven't watch recent episodes of TPOT and II4, since my mental health has been draining out too much since 4 months(?).

[clarissasbakery]

I'm freaking obsessed with ur poppy gjinka could u spare us more of them,,

here’s a poppy!! plus bot!!

i’m going to be honest guys, tpot 20 was so underwhelming that it lowkey art blocked me 😍 so i’m looking mainly in the inbox for drawing ideas so if you havent requested anything, now’s your chance to!

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #11,441:

Real sad/annoying when a character is given a sad traumatic story, and it's awesome for how interesting and precious they are as a character, but in fandom it's like a creative death sentence.

I mean, like when a character has something traumatic happen to them(abused, almost dies, loses someone, assaulted, all that) that seem to be ALL anyone can talk about, even long after said character has moved on from said trauma.

Can't draw them in a relationship, cause apparently assault victims can never go one to have love lives because of one asshole. You can't draw a character in a suit, cause "they were forced to wear one once".

It's like that character can only ever be their trauma, they can only ever be these pretty little broken bird decorations for fandom goers to look at but never. Hell, half the time it's something that wasn't all that traumatizing[to the character] or even related to their trauma to begin with!

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #11,444:

When the storyline that fans largely consider "a blatant character assassination!" is actually the first time you've ever found that character even slightly interesting.

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #11,452:

I've quickly realized that certain fans call certain characters boring, not necessarily because they find them boring, but because they're jealous of them being more popular than other characters.

[toipandan]

Apparently the block evader not just bothered me last night, but they are also troll who is an attention seeker. They even make mocking claims that "it's not ableist for someone calling out hypocrite" and "you cannot be cancelled".... JFC. As a someone who experienced with fandom ableism, you don't speak behalf for marginalized group in general. You don't even know me personally. Having an anxiety inducing chest pain doesn't make you a kind person. Genuinely, people need to respect boundaries and listen to marginalized groups. We are actually living human beings. Please focus on canon sources such as informative threads and analysis video. Also for reminder: My safe space is not for harassing marginalized group speaking up issues in the fandom and treatment of marginalized characters. If you can't able to listen to criticism from marginalized group, you don't deserve a respect and kindness. I have a life outside internet. I can rant whatever I want.