Dead Girl 🫐

I was born to love, I crave to love, It fills my heart, it does just right I love to love, ・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦. I hate to hate ┆・━☆・*。 ・゜ °。+ * 。 .・゜ ゜｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ。 ﾟ。 -blue girl💙

[perfectfeelings]

“You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart.”

— Louise Erdrich

[fadeintome]

[tokyo3smee]

Like fuckin’ FYEEEE🔥🔥

[fadeintome]

[tokyo3smee]

This is a bad bitch tattoo frfr

[awkwardbrunettegirl]

Real

[s0cioplath]

[tokyo3smee]

Poker Joker

Moonlight blasting into people’s eyes

Memories are what I live by

Stuck in time

Stuck in my mind

The fear of knowing most of the time you’re always right

The loneliness that kicks in every single fucking night

An urge to be something beyond human, because nothing has ever sufficed

Dreaming about a “fantasy land” that I created in my own “delusional teen daydream”, because I wanted to be ahead of my time

I wonder why the clock hasn’t stopped, why it keeps ticking, like a reminder, that sometimes, something’s, never end up right

That one sentence a friend once said “some people might just not even have a purpose” runs through my mind

The world kept spinning for everyone, but I was always, stuck in wishes, desires, and every memory that lies

Stuck in my own misery, shame, embarrassment, agony, pain, distress, and every word in the dictionary to describe a pathetic extended life

What is my purpose ? Was it just to always cry ??

Why did I portray myself so weakly, and continue to do so

More so, why is that all people ever see in me

Why don’t they see the real me

Why am I always shouting and begging this fuckin’ world to accept me, to listen to me, to at least even fuckin’ understand my reasons why

I always felt like a problem

I always pulled the unlucky card

[tokyo3smee]

I have this dream

A dream where I walk along the beach, and I’m tall

And beautiful

I’m free, I’m divine

I hear the waves clashing, forming my favorite lullaby

Wishing to drown into that great blue ocean

Wishing it’d eat me alive, and left nothing but my mind

I think the most beautiful part of my body is my brain

I wonder the why’s, the when’s, the where’s

I wonder, I wonder, all the time

I go deeper into the water, that’s now eating me alive

Yet I still sympathize

Thick clouds, hovering over my body, telling I might just not be what they want

And the thunder, injecting my veins, telling me to get up

I feel the drops of rain, hit my skin, making me glow in blue wishes

I wanted to be everything

I wanted to be a desire, to be admired

[tokyo3smee]

[thehopefulquotes]

“Do not expect people to tell you the truth because they also lie to themselves.”

— Don Miguel Ruiz

[2014-is-back]

TY FOR 9K!🌸🌺🌷🌻

[2014-is-back]

Freezing cold February 🍕

[wifeoflilpeep]

[tokyo3smee]

I attract “Red” people

What I mean is, it often happens to be their favorite color, or the way their hair is dyed, or a close shade

Blue people, belong with Red people

I’ve seen it in shows, in my life, in lots of small things through my eyes

We attract each other like magnets

We’re like galaxies, merging together, and creating one and only one of it

Being red means being strong, being open, unique, and socially inclined

At least in my reds, it’s been that way

Being blue means emotional, shy, reserved but still open to those we choose, and stick by

We balance each other out

Very close to “perfection” if that sort of thing existed for our kind

Every red I got close with, I’ll never forget, because they were my “perfectly one of a kind” match

I’ve always mentioned, my struggle to connect with the human race

I can’t just “be-friend” anyone

It’s not because I don’t like people, I love people, but for some odd reason..I can’t connect with many I come by

I can laugh with people, and maybe have a nice time, but no matter how much I try, my heart feels disconnected, unlike my mind

I believe I simply wasn’t made for lots of others

I was crafted just for some, and only them

Reds ignite me

They provide fuel to the fire I hide inside

They give me a mirror, a mirror no one else can provide

One where I see my true beauty

They simply teach me to allow myself to shine

They’ve taught me, I’m more than just my outside

Red people are beautiful, at least to me they are

We’re equally passionate, but different about it

My passion comes with emotion, sometimes my flaw

I can lack logical thinking, because my heart and mind are at war

Their passion comes with intelligence, but even that can cause them to have their faults

Balance is needed in life

Emotions and Logics

No matter what though, we never stop learning, and no one needs another person to succeed, or to be something

However, when we merge, and become one, it’s like magic

I’m water, they are fire

Yet ironically perfect for each other

[omnivise]

From Shadows to Spark

Once I was chained in overthinking's grip, A cold shell, judged and lost in the mist. Stupid stumbles, hesitation's cruel bite, Guilt whispering doubts through the endless night.

But look now-I have shattered those heavy chains, Free-minded wanderer, dancing in rains. I talk without tremor, no self-doubt's sting, Observe the world quiet, let judgments take wing.

Not the hardest worker, not yet the best, Dream job distant, productivity's test. New Year's fire flickered, achievements on hold- But today, I ignite, brave heart, fierce and bold.

From past self to this, I have climbed mountains unseen, The best version rising, wild, alive, and clean.

[stlamb]

[2014-is-back]

embracing all of 2016 this new year

[tokyo3smee]

I can’t remember when I stopped writing with love, when did I start hating the world back

I used to say “just because they hate me, or say mean things, doesn’t mean I have to treat them that way”

I grew so bitter, so so bitter

Maybe I’ve had many “reasons”, but that’s not who I am in my core

“I love to love, I hate to hate, it’s the reason that I break”

I used to break for others, because I loved them, I loved people for what they were, not for “what they can be”

I loved people for their “flaws” their “sins”, because that makes you human, that makes you unique

I loved how people broke, and how with just the right amount of love, they can outgrow

How they can heal from their sadness, if you just give them a little or loads of love

It’s the reason I used to be so kind back then, I wasn’t “naive” I knew that giving so much could break me, and maybe they wouldn’t “get better” just because I didn’t give up, but at least they weren’t alone

I’ve always known what it’s like to need a shoulder to cry on, but not find one

So instead of doing what everyone does, I had promised myself to never give up on anyone

To never hurt anyone, because I preferred being in agony for others, than letting them feel the pain

I think people are beautiful, because they break

You have to break in order to grow

I think it’s sad, that many people believe “you can’t force someone to want to get better, that’s on them, so if they refuse my help I’ll move onto the next”

I hated that mentality

I don’t give up on anyone, on anything, which is why I used to be so passionate about my dreams

Giving up on things is pathetic

Giving up on people, shows you don’t know better

Everyone deserves love, everyone deserves to feel acknowledged,

To be appreciated is to be seen

To be seen is to be loved

To be loved is to be free

I love to love, I hate to hate

I might have to pick myself up on my own, my depression has eaten me up, eaten me to the bone

I didn’t want to do it on my own, but it’s how things have always been, I can’t change my destiny, but I can help people if I get better

I can do so many great things for others, because I’m one of the few people who never give up on them

I stayed alive for so long, because I had my biggest motivation to keep living, that reason is human beings

I wanted to help people, to show them they are worthy, to show them they can be loved, because I’ll always be there when they need me

The most beautiful thing about me was, I didn’t do it expecting anything, and I knew the risks I was taking, I know maybe they wouldn’t thank me

But god..I loved what the universe created.