Nijigasaki Enjoyer @tol-skirt - Tumblr Blog

It's so nice being on tumblr because you don't even have to make your own post but people would still follow you anyways if you're good at rebloging posts they like

teaboot

We never really talked about it but The Ugly Ducking that grew up to be a beautiful swan was still probably pretty fugly from a duck’s perspective

teaboot

Like that story isn’t about an ugly duckling that grew up sexy, it’s a fucking swan was judged as a duck and hated itself as a duck until it found out it wasn’t a duck and stopped trying to be a duck.

The actual ducks in the neighborhood were probably still looking around at perfectly normal swans like “damn, look at those busted ass ducks”

derinthescarletpescatarian

This is pretty important, actually. The good ending is finding the other swans, not tearing yourself to pieces trying to impress the ducks.

elodieunderglass

although a lot of adaptations skip over this and sanitise it to the point where the message is apparently meant to read "you'll be forgiven for being born wrong, if you turn out thin and white and pretty!" - there's a lot going on in the original. For one thing, most adaptations present him as a wild animal, but the Ugly Duckling is born into captivity, into a society that mimics upper-class pretensions, which is why he's declared 'ugly'. His mother is loving and very generous at first - hatching him despite the inconvenient incubation period, and defending him firmly - but after the other domestic animals (including a higher-class dominant one) point out what a burden he is, she turns on her child. Previously, she genuinely appeared to like him.

And a thing that's missed, while kid's abridged adaptations miss out on the rest of the point, is that the Ugly Duckling decides he can't live like this and leaves the farmyard; he goes into the wild himself. In the various passages in which people try to keep him as a pet, or a duck, it's hammered home again and again that this does not make a good pet. there is nothing in him that suits being a domestic animal.

one of the particular parts that makes you go "sweet jesus, hans christian andersen" is where the wild geese rock up and are nice to the young swan, not quite recognising him as a swan but saying they're pretty into whatever weird vibe he has (is this a sort of queer recognition thing? we are told, explicitly, that the wild geese are both male, and they definitely say "you're so ugly it's hot - come with us" - given HCA, it might be) and then they're, you know, instantly shot dead. Because that's what happens to wild geese. They like your vibe and try to take you with them, and even offer to teach you how to flirt - and then you see exactly what happens to them. And then every encounter from there, from the old woman who attempts to keep him - a very satirical and funny passage - to the young family who genuinely attempt to save his life (but he's too fundamentally panicked and awkward to reciprocate their kindness, and explodes out of their house in a social catastrophe) the story hammers in: not only are you a terrible duck, but you just aren't MEANT to live with people. You're closer to the things they kill than the things they keep.

but yeah, adaptations miss this often: you have to go out into the wild to save your own life. you may die in the wild, and you WILL die where you are. nobody comes to save you - and nobody really could have, when you were younger - but ultimately, mate, you just aren't a very good pet. Of the list of "attributes of a domestic animal" you really suck, in detail, at all of them.

so it's very telling to me that the good ending is the one where he is a wild animal - but more importantly, a WILD SWAN.

Not killed. (like a wild goose).

Not kept. (like a duck).

but a secret third thing, that swans - of few creatures - get. they get admired and they get paid and they get LEFT ALONE. they have a position in relation to humanity, and it is BEING A LOVELY SWAN OVER THERE.

what a thing for a lonely heart to yearn for!

elodieunderglass

I saw some notes saying "oh wow I need to look up the original." It's very easy! It's here: The Ugly Duckling, by Hans Christian Andersen on Project Gutenberg. It is 3500 words or so and free.

The Ugly Duckling isn't a "fairy tale" or a fable. It didn't emerge from the collective unconscious - it didn't come from nowhere. It's an original work. Andersen wrote it in 1843. It didn't exist before he came up with it. the translation I linked above was translated in 1930.

like many HCA stories (The Little Mermaid, The Snow Queen) it's out of copyright and has pretty images, so it gets mined frequently as a free text - you can always republish a cheap Ugly Duckling, and don't have to pay an author. So people tend to just read and remember the various abridged versions. as a result, they think about it like a fairy tale - a sort of ambiguous, detached, floating thing that belongs to everyone and can mean everything. fairy tales - loose cultural fragments - can be hammered to suit any moral, or handwaved to be about anything, and then when you get bored of them, you can "twist" them a different way. Maybe it's about this. maybe it's about that. I read it as being about beauty. I read it as being about me. I don't like the politics. Today King Arthur is going to be Roman. Tomorrow Sleeping Beauty will wake up by herself. it doesn't really matter. And that's grand! that's what fairy tales have become - they are the people's mental property - they're to be played with.

But The Ugly Duckling isn't a fairy tale. it's a single sad, weird queer guy from a while ago, trying to tell you something personal about himself. maybe he isn't communicating clearly, maybe he's too weird, maybe you don't like it, maybe it annoys you - but <TheUglyDuckling> DOES have meaning and intention.

"I think the moral is this / I think the moral is that" - do try reading it first though! do try reading the whole thing first.

theconcealedweapon

I saw a video of a 13 year old girl damaging her parents' truck with a pickaxe, supposedly because they took her phone away. The comments were full of "this is what gentle parenting leads to".

Why does everyone think children like that received "gentle parenting"? Children don't learn violence and rage out of nowhere. And I highly doubt it was only in response to her phone being taken away. When children are abused constantly and reminded that everyone sides with their abusers and they have zero proper channels for holding their abusers accountable, they have to pick something to do about it. They're going to get a beating anyway just for using the wrong tone, so they might as well do something to deserve it.

Also, remember when that piece of shit Tommy Jordan shot his daughter's laptop with a gun because he was angry about a Facebook post she made? He was met with praise. Everyone wonders where children learn their violent outbursts from, while adults are praised for theirs.

Maybe if children were treated like people, this wouldn't happen.

inkdot-deactivated20200219

This weekend I was told a story which, although I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, because holy shit is it ever obvious, is kind of blowing my mind.

A friend of a friend won a free consultation with Clinton Kelly of What Not To Wear, and she was very excited, because she has a plus-size body, and wanted some tips on how to make the most of her wardrobe in a fashion culture which deliberately puts her body at a disadvantage.

Her first question for him was this: how do celebrities make a plain white t-shirt and a pair of weekend jeans look chic? She always assumed it was because so many celebrities have, by nature or by design, very slender frames, and because they can afford very expensive clothing. But when she watched What Not To Wear, she noticed that women of all sizes ended up in cute clothes that really fit their bodies and looked great. She had tried to apply some guidelines from the show into her own wardrobe, but with only mixed success. So - what gives?

His answer was that everything you will ever see on a celebrity’s body, including their outfits when they’re out and about and they just get caught by a paparazzo, has been tailored, and the same goes for everything on What Not To Wear. Jeans, blazers, dresses - everything right down to plain t-shirts and camisoles. He pointed out that historically, up until the last few generations, the vast majority of people either made their own clothing or had their clothing made by tailors and seamstresses. You had your clothing made to accommodate the measurements of your individual body, and then you moved the fuck on. Nothing on the show or in People magazine is off the rack and unaltered. He said that what they do is ignore the actual size numbers on the tags, find something that fits an individual’s widest place, and then have it completely altered to fit. That’s how celebrities have jeans that magically fit them all over, and the rest of us chumps can’t ever find a pair that doesn’t gape here or ride up or slouch down or have about four yards of extra fabric here and there.

I knew that having dresses and blazers altered was probably something they were doing, but to me, having alterations done generally means having my jeans hemmed and then simply living with the fact that I will always be adjusting my clothing while I’m wearing it because I have curves from here to ya-ya, some things don’t fit right, and the world is just unfair that way. I didn’t think that having everything tailored was something that people did.

It’s so obvious, I can’t believe I didn’t know this. But no one ever told me. I was told about bikini season and dieting and targeting your “problem areas” and avoiding horizontal stripes. No one told me that Jennifer Aniston is out there wearing a bigger size of Ralph Lauren t-shirt and having it altered to fit her.

I sat there after I was told this story, and I really thought about how hard I have worked not to care about the number or the letter on the tag of my clothes, how hard I have tried to just love my body the way it is, and where I’ve succeeded and failed. I thought about all the times I’ve stood in a fitting room and stared up at the lights and bit my lip so hard it bled, just to keep myself from crying about how nothing fits the way it’s supposed to. No one told me that it wasn’t supposed to. I guess I just didn’t know. I was too busy thinking that I was the one that didn’t fit.

I thought about that, and about all the other girls and women out there whose proportions are “wrong,” who can’t find a good pair of work trousers, who can’t fill a sweater, who feel excluded and freakish and sad and frustrated because they have to go up a size, when really the size doesn’t mean anything and it never, ever did, and this is just another bullshit thing thrown in your path to make you feel shitty about yourself.

I thought about all of that, and then I thought that in elementary school, there should be a class for girls where they sit you down and tell you this stuff before you waste years of your life feeling like someone put you together wrong.

So, I have to take that and sit with it for a while. But in the meantime, I thought perhaps I should post this, because maybe my friend, her friend, and I are the only clueless people who did not realise this, but maybe we’re not. Maybe some of you have tried to embrace the arbitrary size you are, but still couldn’t find a cute pair of jeans, and didn’t know why.

hungrylikethewolfie

This post is one of those things that I will reblog every time it appears on my dash. This is so important, and no one ever tells you about it.

skeletree-blog

I almost didn’t read this but then I did and I’m really glad that I did.

theopinionatedartist

Super important

deafinatlyme

Tldr: The reason clothes never “looked right on you” is because models and celebrities always had their clothes tailored to fit them perfectly.

plucky-passerine

I love this post but it always frustrated me just a little because I can’t even afford to buy new clothes let alone get the clothes I have tailored. But then I remembered that a lot of things are easier to do than you think they will be, so here’s some resources on how to alter your own clothes!

cats-eye-galaxy

Please read this, it’s an opportunity to learn about yourself, possibly a new skill and why it isn’t you, it’s the industry.

gothiccharmschool

Do I reblog this every time? Yes. Part of the reason I became kinda-sorta-vaguely proficient at sewing was because NOTHING off-the-rack fits me, no matter what size I’m at.

jboh-art

mixing business with pleasure

weepingchoir

i enjoy erotically charged photography of lesbian jocks like hanging sweatily around the bench press etc but there's also an element of the true Forbidden missing. and i suspect that missing element lies in the actual ease of being a cis woman who works out. it's basically the expected USA norm to be a cis woman who exercises. lesbian or not. on the other hand me as a transgender i'm distinctly Getting Away With Something every time that i lift

weepingchoir

as far as Going Stealth and Passing goes, "lesbian" is my working cover for a lot of the idiosyncrasies about my presentation that would instantly become potential cause for ejection if they were exposed as, instead, Transgender

cyprozombiegirl

I remember the first time a girl put her fingers in my pussy, I was so scared to let her. Things still felt incredibly raw even three months into healing, like the slightest misstep could damage something. It felt like an inconsiderate or brash hand might rip or tear something. And I was so afraid I didn’t look healed enough to actually be pretty to her. Things still felt swollen, and the scars weren’t yet faded. But she laid me down on her bed, the spring sun streaming in the window, and she shushed my protests with a kind and knowing tone. She’d gotten a neopussy a year and a half before me, she’d be careful. So there I was, laying down and looking up at her smiling between my ever so slightly shaking legs. She had lube on her fingers and she leaned into me slowly, with her whole body, resting her other arm on my right knee as she came closer to me. Then she was in, and although I’d been fingered anally before, nothing prepared me for how large and detailed her fingers felt in me. The sensation was so vivid that I couldn’t help but picture precisely where they were in me, what shape they curled into. I could feel so perfectly I might as well have had x-ray vision. She smiled at my surprise. Then she watched me begin to relax. And that’s when she began that caress, that coaxing with her fingers that I had performed on others so often. The pleasure was beyond description except as waves and waterfalls and the desperate powerless need for her not to stop. My eyes were so wide, and I felt just like porcelain being painted by a master craftsman.

cyprozombiegirl

your honour I wish to state for the record I had no intention of decimating the tumblr trans femme community with this post

cyprozombiegirl

decimation is when you kill one in every 10 people…I’m starting to think this post has a higher ratio than that

frailgun

Do you ever have matches where you aren't almost dead

what you hate drama and suspense and the beauty of the indominatable human spirit? fuck your face here's two in a row

frailgun

here ya go

A GUILTY GEAR -STRIVE- (GGST) Mod in the Elphelt Valentine category, submitted by Rekzahar

tachyon-log

You could put these people in a room and make them choose between a) engaging with the actual narrative content of a piece of fiction that centers around women, or b) shoot themselves in the leg with a pistol 3 times, and they'd expend the whole magazine.

tachyon-log

"Transmasc exclusive feminism" is one of the most Phrases I have ever seen on this website. They are constantly inventing new ways to say that trans men are women and trans women are men couched in progressive vocabulary.

tachyon-log

Again, I'm not asserting that it is. I just want you to use your brain for once and think about why trans women & lesbians would find a franchise with a large focus on the bonds & rivalries between its majority-female cast appealing.

It's also a little dizzying to see this opinion juxtaposed with so many men saying "but we're just playing touys!" re: reframing a franchise about women to be about men, when women themselves can't play their own "touys" and enjoy a franchise about women if it's not considered feminist enough (and, more often than not, by America-centric standards of queerness & gender).

tachyon-log

Also, this game is crack cocaine for people who like girls with traditionally masculine roles & titles.

aropride

man, The Character really strikes me as someone who would struggle with Same Problems I Have, for no apparent reason

hyperlexichypatia

Okay, here's my criticism of this post I keep seeing -- and no, it's not what you think. I know, my longtime followers who know the kinds of things I post about a lot are probably thinking, "Oh, I know what their objection is going to be. It's going to be that 18-19 year olds are adults who can date older partners if they choose to." But no, that's not it this time! Yes, I do believe it's fine for young adults to date older adults if they choose to (and am accordingly rolling my eyes at all the "This should go up to 25!" comments in the notes), but. That's not my issue here. In fact, precisely because I believe that young adults dating older adults is morally neutral, I'm not at all concerned about the efficacy of the messaging against it. My concern is that underage minors being in sexual/romantic relationships with adults is actually harmful and dangerous, and therefore young people actually should be warned against it, and this is not an effective warning.

Fellow old people, do y'all remember being 14? At all? Would you have found this warning effective and compelling at that age?

I for sure would not! I did not! Quite the opposite!

Put yourself in the young person's position here. You have no rights. You're treated as someone with no agency. Your parents, teachers, government, and society as a whole treats you as some combination of "nuisance," "ticking time bomb," and "unthinking blob." Developmentally, you're at a phase of life when you should be transitioning to a more adult role, but everyone around you demonizes you for that desire. All your thoughts, feelings, and opinions are dismissed as the inconsequential ravings of Just A Dumb Kid Who Doesn't Know Any Better. You meet someone who treats you with basic human politeness, tells you that he likes you and that you're mature, actually treats you like you have two brain cells to rub together. Of course you're going to be drawn to him. And then when other adults warn you that obviously of course he doesn't really like you, that's impossible, of course you're not really mature, no one could possibly see you that way; actually you're naive and incapable of making your own decisions, and the way your parents/teachers/society treat you is completely justified. Are you going to heed those warnings?

Why are adults absolutely constitutionally incapable of giving good, necessary advice to teenagers without fucking insulting them in the process? Of course teenagers don't listen to it! Why would anyone??

"Oh, well, of course teenagers don't listen, because they're stubborn, and immature, and biologically determined to make bad decisions, which is all the more reason they need to be controlled," say adults, completely oblivious to the actual problem.

When I was a teenager, the big moral panic at the time was teen pregnancy, and we were all inundated with the least effective cautionary tales in the world: "If you get pregnant as a teen, you'll have to leave your parents' care and function as an adult!" Which left every girl who'd intentionally gotten pregnant for the explicit purpose of escaping her abusive parents saying "Yeah, that was the goal." And every girl who was looking for a way of escaping her abusive parents to think "What a great idea!" Today the big moral panic is older partners, but if the appeal of an older partner is that he treats you like someone capable of making your own decisions, why would you be persuaded by a counterargument of "Don't listen to him, of course you're not capable of making your own decisions!"?

Again. I'm saying this because I agree that adults dating minors is a bad thing and that minors should be warned against it. EFFECTIVELY.

That said, this is my advice to any 17-or-younger person being pursued by an 18+-year-old partner: Listen. You deserve so much better than the way society treats you. You deserve to be taken seriously. You deserve to make your own decisions in life. You have a mind of your own, and people should recognize that instead of treating your pesky "free will" as a personal affront or an inconvenient glitch. You can and should think for yourself. You deserve, and I hope you have, relationships with older people who validate those truths about you. However. You are still legally and materially powerless. I don't have to tell you that. You live it every day. Someone older than you -- and therefore, inherently, legally, more powerful than you -- should not be trying to extract things from you. Money, sex, unpaid labor, anything of value. Someone more powerful than you who truly values you, values your friendship, values you as a person, will be mindful of your status and not try to extract anything from you. Cross-age friendships are good. Older people can and should genuinely like and appreciate you, and you can and should genuinely like and appreciate them. But if they try to extract anything from you, run away.

moniquill

This is spot on and I'd like to expand on this:

"Someone older than you -- and therefore, inherently, legally, more powerful than you -- should not be trying to extract things from you. Money, sex, unpaid labor, anything of value."

The reason that kids are so very susceptible to manipulation by bad actors is because for their entire lives, people who are older than them (Parents, teachers, coaches, other authority figures) HAVE taught them that it is normal and right for adults to try to extract value from kids without recompense. Being told 'You MUST go to this place at this time, obey instructions, do this work, eat this food, wear these clothes, socialize with these people, consume this media (and DON'T consume that media!) and if you are not compliant your will be punished.' is directly training kids for compliance to bad actors.

bitchautism-deactivated20250906

trying to do more research on being intersex so one of the things I looked up was "intersex and transfem" and all the top results are about afab trans women

bitchautism-deactivated20250906

it really sucks being intersex and being used as "evidence" as why transfem is a made up label that means nothing at all. it feels like I only see people like myself mentioned as gotchas against people I genuinely love and care about.

not only is it insanely disrespectful to TMA people to imply transfem is an open category with no true meaning or community, but it is also insanely disrespectful to intersex cafab women to imply that being intersex means that they have to transition into women and aren't already? and actualises the idea of intersex being an entirely separate category from male or female. as if it's a firm and true third sex.

and of course, these arguments about the mysterious cafab intersex transfem, only forgets about the actual intersex transfem. to the point of genuine erasure that you can't look up "intersex and transfem" online without it just being about cafab intersex people instead.

this argument from transandrophobia supporters just sucks for fucking everyone (especially TMA ppl) and I would like to no longer be used to hurt and misgender women & transfems I love.

pingintech

im sorry but i dont actually think afab transfem is an attempt to argue transfemme doesnt have any meaning??? afab transfemme people like demigirls genderfluid people womanflux people multigender people those are all types of transfem someone who was assigned female at birth can be??? and it is very odd to act like that isnt the case if you yourself are intersex???

like just because transfem doesnt have a clear cut binary meaning doesnt mean it has no meaning??? and honestly i think youd have a pretty hard time arguing that femme presenting trans people (regardless of agab a thing you can literally only assume unless someone explicitly tells you) dont experience transmisogyny

vivvy-of-the-lake

transfem does not mean "trans and feminine/femme presenting trans people"—hippopotamus does not mean "a horse in a river" despite that being the meaning of its constituent parts. "transfem" as a term refers exclusively to amab trans people of a variety of identities, and in this context treating it as a term that means literally "trans and feminine" would be giving it no meaning. as op describes, by diluting the meaning like this it makes it really hard to discuss issues specific to being amab and trans if the word used for describing that is co-opted into meaning any agab that's trans and feminine

similarly, transmisogyny doesn't mean "trans and suffers from misogyny" and instead refers to the specific intersection of oppression that occurs by being both trans and a woman. transmisogyny affected and transmisogyny exempt do not literally mean who can and cannot be hurt by transmisogyny, but refers to being the intended targets of transmisogyny as an amab trans person. note that while agab is never able to be known without being told, people who aren't transfem are always able to diminish the extent to which they suffer by clarifying that they aren't trans women—there is a way to escape transmisogyny that is not afforded to trans women.

vivvy-of-the-lake

yesterday i felt so down that my calm and patient response was met with such hostility and aggressiveness, i genuinely despaired that i was powerless and nothing i did mattered, but reading these tags has genuinely made my day... thank you all so much, ill continue to write about transfeminism whenever I get the chance 💖

feralratbitesu

what do you mean by "og" paraphilia

like one of the original listed "paraphilas" from the loser piece of shit book (dsm 4)

so remember that any time u see a call out labeling someone as "paraphile" just remember that being trans and doing bdsm and rubbing junk is also paraphilia

faggots gotta stop being puritan losers

duckbunny

"Irish doesn't have a word for please, you have to say if it be your will" buddy do I have news for you about "please"

"Irish doesn't have a word for hello you have to use a shorthand religious blessing" buddy do I have news for you about "goodbye"!

"In Polish the word for car is that which walks by itself" BUDDY what do you think an AUTOMOBILE is?

you have got to understand that your mother tongue is not the model of language. all your words have secret histories and layers of meaning just the same as other people's words. the word you think of as just a word has etymology, it wasn't handed down from God as a finished word. English doesn't have a word for movie you have to either refer to the recording medium or use a short version of "moving picture", isn't that cute?

floweryomi

Happy birthday my lovely @prettycottonmouthlamia !

coremilk

Trans women are not cis men.

Trans women are not like cis men.

Cis men are statistically dangerous. This is an incontrovertible fact proven by enormous amounts of empirical data. Cis men are empowered by patriarchy to enact misogynistic violence against those they hold power over with little scrutiny or consequence. The construction of hegemonic masculinity requires participating in ritualized misogyny. Cis men, when their masculinity is called into question, typically react by intensifying displays of signifiers of masculinity, which include things like violence, physicality, misogyny and sexual aggression. Cis men benefit from patriarchy at the expense of those who aren't cis men and the majority of cis men work towards the continued existence of patriarchy because it is in their own material interests to do so.

Treating cis men as potentially dangerous is not "androphobia" or "misandry", it's being aware of reality. Claiming that cis men are not dangerous is straightforwardly a denial of reality.

Treating trans women as dangerous because cis men are in fact dangerous is not "androphobia" or "misandry", it's transmisogyny.

You cannot "yes, and" transmisogynists who incorrectly extrapolate things that are true about cis men onto trans women. You cannot form an effective counter-argument against transmisogyny on the basis of "even if trans women were like cis men". You must reject this premise entirely, you must not entertain it even "for the sake of argument". This premise is where the entirety of the transmisogyny in this argument is located. It's no less transmisogynistic if you (wrongly) think the perception of cis men as violent and dangerous is unjustified (e.g. because you mistakenly think that acknowledging something is the case means claiming that it is inherently the case).

When ole ivar lovaas claims that autistic children lack personhood ("You see, you start pretty much from scratch when you work with an autistic child. You have a person in the physical sense—they have hair, a nose, and a mouth—but they are not people in the psychological sense."), we cannot let this claim stand and simply argue for the rights of autistic children from an animal rights angle instead. When disabled people are accused of faking their disability this is a form of ableism, not prejudice against non-disabled people - even if their disability isn't acknowledged by those enacting this form of ableism. When transphobic people claim that trans people don't exist, that doesn't render their transphobia into prejudice againt cis people. Oppression cannot be understood on the terms of the ideologies that justify it.

The claim that transmisogyny is partially "androphobia" or "misandry" is as ignorant as it is transmisogynistic.

You have absolutely no right to instrumentalize transfeminized people for your repugnant anti-feminist project of positing the absurd lie that "androphobia" or "misandry" exists as form of structural oppression.

Telling trans women (who are even more likely to be victims of sexualized and physical violence at the hands of cis men than cis women are) that they are being "paranoid" or "irrational" for correctly understanding and insisting on the difference between themselves and cis men, for understanding that their interests are not aligned with those of cis men, is an unbearable level of misogyny.

mewracle

you all really like your dolls huh. well guess what: there's TWO now

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