What even is life?

27| she/her|

[animentality]

[animentality]

[stahsm]

Overlock Stitch by @clothes_reetzy

[thatisuseful]

Damn, that's useful

[fluidstatick]

Finally a hand sewing tutorial on a hemline that isn't just the ladder stitch! the ladder stitch disappears when you tighten it, but it's not meant for hemlines because it breaks really easily! The overlock stitch is more stable, so it holds much longer, and it won't pucker or warp the fabric!

[sugar-petals]

i support idol tomfoolery ✨

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I'm trying to think of the name of those off-brand hedgehog things but the only thing that comes to mind is enchilada

[l0s3r-g0r3-d3s7r0y4]

Echidna

Heres some babies

This one is less baby

Fun fact. These motherfuckers can kill you

[shinypenguinpizza]

Their dicks have 4 heads

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

thank you! i hate this more than words can express. this is horrible, truly. DO NOT CLICK KEEP READING

congratulations! echidna dick now lives in your head rent-free

[darinaethelaianprophet]

ALL THE KNUCKLES PORNOGRAPHY IS INACCURATE

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

why do people keep saying this

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#important to note tho! they only come from one head at a time!#scientists jerked them off to find out!

everyone say thank you scientists

[podcastwizard]

literally drinking a beer by the lake and still opened tumblr. some of us are beyond saving

[tibby]

tubi is one of our greatest warriors in the fight against streaming services costing a fortune for mediocre content. tubi has the most insane collection of movies you will ever encounter all for free. it has cult classics and questionable lifetime movies and movies that nobody except like three people on the planet have ever seen. tubi has movies that doesn’t exist. like if you just thought of a movie one day but never made it and no one ever made it it would somehow still exist on tubi. one day i will log onto tubitv dot com and i will see terribly inappropriate, overly complex, and strange on there. and i won’t even be surprised.

[blackphoenixincorporated]

Tubi is where I found this gem:

[mornington-the-crescent]

[rabbitindisguise]

wait this wasn’t a “poob has it for you” bit?

[notbopper]

tubi doesnt have what youre looking for but it does have a lot of things you would never have thought to

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i gave my sister $100 for her bday, but i gave it to her in $1 bills that i folded into origami. so that’s how she pays for delivery food & now the pizza girl thinks she’s a stripper

[cornposting]

You’re really good at origami holy sh

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i learned it specifically to make these for this exact situation 

[realpersonscifi]

Aren’t you the same bitch that gave your sister $100 dollars in nickels?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

same bitch

[wetmetal]

Yeah, neither of these things happened 👍🏼

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

listen here my good hoe, i can’t find photos of the 2000 nickels or the 20 stars, but i did not spend weeks planning meticulously inconvenient birthday gifts over a period of years just to get whaled on by internet gremlins. here is some equally compelling evidence for an anecdote i was saving for later:

it weighed 68.6 lbs

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

same hellion yes

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

think I've been mildly cursed by a witch

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

for years now my laptop charger has reliably broken every 6 months. admittedly i keep replacing it with the cheapest possible generics, but I've tried differed brands and ALWAYS, 6 months in Death knocks impatiently at my door, its skeletal hand outstretched demanding yet another goddamn power cable. the only feasible explanation is i pissed off a witch. the alternative is that i'm the problem, which seems unikely

[spectraltower]

the witch is called enshittification

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

excellent so is this like a rumpelstiltskin situation or

[stromcuzewon]

haven't been to a mooseheads game in person for over a year and apparently they made some changes to the arena.... the main one being a gigantic moose bust that flashes red eyes and shoots smoke out it's nose when we score

[stromcuzewon]

update: it's eyes turn green when the other team has a penalty

[stromcuzewon]

THE GREAT MOOSE HAS DECLARED A POWER PLAY

[randomencounters]

Encounter: junior league hockey god

[rubyone]

“hbo sam” what is that. what do you mean hbo sam. he literally drank demon blood and had horny demon blood sex with his demon girlfriend on the television screen. you think he’s not hbo sam because he’s on the cw well that is your mistake. moving supernatural to hbo would only bring everyone else’s insanity up to sams level. show some respect

[rubyone]

literally one of the first things he does is crash a car into a house on purpose. what the hell

[rubyone]

this. dean makes bonkers choices and decisions but they are clearly because of the absolutely fucked up cocktail of neuroses that bangs about in his head and it makes you go Wow that guy has obviously seen some shit to think that’s a good idea. whereas sam is like so nonplussed and accepting of doing fucked up shit with barely any justification other than “yeah ok” that you go oh something is Wrong with him. he’s so awesome

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

so what you're gonna do is you're gonna trim the top off a bulb of garlic, using the knife's edge to take off the tip of every individual clove, that's important. you're gonna place the garlic face-up in a square of tinfoil, drizzle with olive oil, wrap completely in foil, place in baking tray, repeat with a copious amount of garlic bulbs. you're gonna put that baking tray in an oven set to 375-400°F, for 30-50 minutes, until soft and browned. you're gonna toast some good bread, slather generously with butter and honey, maybe a tiny lil bit o' salt. and then. you're gonna SQUEEZE. OUT. THAT. ROASTED GARLIC. onto the butter honey toast. and you're gonna eat it. food stolen directly from the plate of the gods. that's what you're gonna do.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the garlic. it beckons you

[thesweetestsupervillains]

It occurs to me that "1920s gangster doing a cooking show while holding you at gunpoint" is an untapped market.

We've had normal cooking shows. Now we need period piece cooking shows in character.

[8nin]

so done with tumblr. see u all in two minutes

[natequarter]

"the doctor was completely colourblind for his first two incarnations" is hilarious for many reasons but at least partly because it implies the third doctor just woke up one day suddenly able to see in colour and immediately decided to start dressing like a gay parrot

[background-character-341]

For all its faults Tumblr has truly ruined all other social media for me because my friends all have Instagram and are all trying to get me on Instagram more but every time I open Instagram there are like fifteen things screaming for my attention and when I get over myself long enough to start scrolling it's like. Where is my chronological dash. Where is the following-only option. Who are these people. Why are there so many videos. Everyone is screaming at me. And then before I know it I'm thirty minutes into scrolling and I haven't seen a single thing that I actually care about. At least on Tumblr when I see stuff I don't care about I know someone I follow has found a new interest.

[mindllessdreaming]

and the winner of superwholock is officially??? no one. we all lost. congrats team

[buggyhuman]

[sackboys-moved]

Love not having a ”””fandom””” specific blog. Something new will just consume my mind and everyone has to accept it. My house