wack

vibe checked and my ass got wreaked

[30-minute-memes]

wise

[geniusoflove]

me n my wife r about to sign the divorce papers until she spots my epic fishie slides n starts sucking me off right there

[meangirlnurse]

anyone else remember being a child and seeing the very neat handwriting of other little girls and somehow knowing that you were a different genre of person than they were

[transhumanoid-deactivated202106]

boss dropped out of the zoom meeting cause his cat has learned how to unplug the desktop computer when he’s hungry

[cipheramnesia]

Direct action.

[catchymemes]

[everythingfox]

“Breakfast time!”

[charlesoberonn]

Shadow of the Colossus (2005) 

[what-even-is-thiss]

So I do wonder how many children growing up during this pandemic are going to end up with like six thousand allergies.

[what-even-is-thiss]

My mom was a severe germophobe and it got worse as she got older and she got my dad into the habit of sanitizing everything. So when I was a baby I was allowed to hang out in dust and eat dirt and lick the cats back or whatever like a normal baby but my brother, who was born six years of germaphobia later, was constantly cleaned and living in a sanitized house.

I developed a slight allergy to bananas in my early 20s. That’s it. My brother as soon as he started eating was allergic to wheat, milk, every kind of nuts, bananas, avocados, peas, peanuts, and most kinds of beans.

After my mom died my dad kept up the sanitizing and my brother’s allergies seemed to keep getting worse. He ended up going to an allergist about it and she basically told him “Stop sanitizing everything and let him play in dirt.”

So we stopped sanitizing everything and my brother was let loose on the backyard were of course he did toddler stuff like eat dirt and chase butterflies.

Nowadays, he’s only allergic to nuts, peanuts, and bananas. And that’s not just a result of him growing up. His allergies started dropping off one by one months after he was allowed to get dirty and we stopped sanitizing everything.

[what-even-is-thiss]

When children grow up in a sanitized environment their immune systems find other things to fight. We’ve already got people saying that they’re gonna keep sanitizing their homes and their hands constantly even after the pandemic is over.

I’m not a doctor. I’m just repeating things that my brother’s doctors have told us.

Don’t sanitize everything forever. Let your kids play in the dirt and hang out with your dog. It’s good for them. Don’t turn your home into a bacteria-free hellscape. It’s bad for you.

[latadelixo]

[skrillex-band-deactivated201606]

chilling

[valtsv]

yeah you’ve grown all your wisdom teeth but what about your strength teeth? your charisma teeth? your

[vmae]

Charisma teeth are the fangs

[valtsv]

this is the single most terrifying reply to any of my posts i have ever received

[commanderfreddy]

hey do you guys wanna see a bunch of pictures of a cat my mum looked after named simply “The Pumpkin”

[commanderfreddy]

THE PUMPKIN!!!

[phantomrose96]

You know what is fucking hilarious i realized this morning

Zuko, crown prince of the firenation, sTILL ascending to the throne after the avatar fucking took out his dad is HYSTERICAL when you consider for like half a second what that looks like from the outside perspective

Like imagine you’re some earth kingdom peasant and the town crier comes through like “AVATAR DEFEATED THE FIRELORD. REPEAT AVATAR NERFED OZAI. WAR OVER. WAR OVER”

and you’re like “holy fucking shit 100 years of war over the madlad did it”

and then you’re like “what happens to the Firenation now?? did the avatar take over as ruler while sanctions are being put in place?

crier: “nope” you: “are they under earth kingdom colonial rule now?” crier: “nope” you: “oh okay, so is it like. an earth-kingdom appointed panel of delegates who will oversee the firenation now?” crier: “nooooope” you: “…earth kingdom appointed leader?” crier: “no : )” you: “democratically elected leader?” crier: “no :^ )” you: “communism?????” crier: “lmao still a monarchy!” you: “okay, okay, guess earth kingdom is too, okay, please just tell me they crowned someone from the rebel faction who–” crier: “Fire Lord’s Son : ^). First Son. First born.” you: “??????????? the Crown Prince?” crier: “Heir to the Throne :^^)” you: “His SON?” crier: “First and only :^^)” you: “then what was the fuCKING POINT OF TAKING DOWN THE FIRE LORD?!!” crier: “Avatar won :^^^)” you: “WHAT’S EVEN DIFFERENT NOW" 

[nobleelfwarrior]

WHY DID YOU HIDE THIS!!!!

[thefabulousweirdtrotters]

[lunatic-01]

When will the violence end.

[chicks2010]

[owenology]

fuck algebra i don’t need it just give me a dead body and i’ll figure it out from there

[owenology]

i feel i should clarify i am a mortuary science major

[genderlessblomber]

certified iconic post

[snoopysfriendwoodstock]

it’s honestly crazy how many ppl u meet in your early twenties who have never been in love or been in a relationship or had sex and then you’re like oh it’s actually normal and social milestones actually mean nothing bc everyone is different and has different experiences. cool!

[warm-tea-and-apple-pie]

The whole concept of "late-bloomers" is just another semingly cute name for the the belief that people have expiring dates and only youth is worth it and I wholeheartedly abhorre it

[cybergata]

Sandra Dee Lutheran

[wellthatwasdumb]

[whitepeopletwitter]