TMK

A blog dedicated to the Too Many Kids-Verse, a modern OFMD au that (predictably) involves too many kids | Robin/Moth/Jasper | He/They

[toomanykidsverse]

Too Many Kids (TMK) is a modern Our Flag Means Death AU, in which the crew of The Revenge are a group of children who have been adopted by Stede and Ed.

The kids, ranging vastly in age and background, must now learn how to live with their multitudes of new siblings, while their dads learn to juggle the wants and needs of 10 very different kids.

Asks are open! Questions, headcanons, doodle requests, and ficlet requests are all welcome, as well as anything else you may want to share related to the AU :)

Tag navigation is under read more!

Main Tags

Art | All art for the AU

Art Showcase | Art from people other than me

Comics | Comics for the AU

Writing | All writing for the AU

Asks | All asks

Intro Post | Introductions for the characters

Character Tags

Stede Bonnet

Edward Teach

Izzy Hands

Oluwande Boodhari

Jim Jimenez

Lucius Spriggs

Black Pete

Wee John Feeney

Frenchie

Nathaniel Buttons

Roach

Swede

Miscellaneous 

Blackbonnet | Stede x Ed posts

Skvll Crvshers | Posts about Ed’s old band

Captain Stella | Posts about Stede’s drag persona

Updates | Updates on the blog and works in progress

[toomanykidsverse]

Did Jim ever get into any serious fights in school?

Nothing too serious, I don't think! Being 11, I doubt their fights are usually all that violent, it's about what you would expect!

Izzy is much more likely to end up in a more serious fight.

[toomanykidsverse]

Is this au still alive?? If so does anybody in the family have a favorite pokemon

I would love to start posting for this au again! it's super ask driven, so more asks definitely makes it easier!

I think Jim and Olu would especially love pokemon, but I think they'd all have a favorite!

Izzy - Houndoom, because it's Ed's favorite too

Olu - Plusle

Jim - Minun

Lucius - Gardevoir

Black Pete - Honedge

Wee John - Emboar

Roach - Scolipede

Frenchie - Meloetta

Buttons - Wingull

Swede - Pichu

And bonus, I think Stede is the kind of dad who calls every pokemon "a pikachu".

[toomanykidsverse]

Op I desperately need to know, do you have the original picture of the art of Lucius in his room (the pastel one with all the plushies?)

I sure do!

[toomanykidsverse]

The first time Izzy slips up and calls Stede dad, even on accident, Stede will not let him forget. "You think of me as your dad?" "Shut the fuck up Stede."

God it's a NIGHTMARE for Izzy,,, after a while Stede is bringing it up as a joke more than anything, it's up to Izzy how he views him, but man does it make Izzy want chew through wood every single time he does it anyway.

[toomanykidsverse]

This is what Es does with the younger kids when shopping. Stede takes pictures, Izzy hides

ABSOLUTELY. He does it with Swede the most, it makes him giggle :)

[toomanykidsverse]

I've realized that my last ask might not make any sense lol I went to sleep, woke up, sent it in before I forgot, and went back to sleep lol

What I was trying to say was what would the kids go as for Halloween?

lol don't worry, I understood what you meant!

so:

Izzy - One of those "loading costume" shirts bc he's lame (affectionate)

Jim - "Guy who kills people" is their answer. It's just their normal look but with blood and a fake knife. They keep pretending to stab people.

Olu - Jim's victim. Just Olu with a fake stab wound where Jim keeps "stabbing" him in the stomach.

Lucius - People keep asking if he's a princess, and he very adamantly corrects them, because he's a unicorn princess. He's got a horn and wings. Get it right.

Pete - Ed. He just steals Ed's clothes.

Frenchie - A witch, of course! With his trusty black cat, John!

John - A black cat, to accompany Frenchie!

Buttons - A seagull! He flaps his wings the whole night and only "speaks" in seagull noises.

Roach - A roach :) The extra legs move!

Swede - A puppy! He's got a cute kigurumi style puppy costume :)

BONUS:

Fang - A lizard. Inspired by his pet gecko, Dog!

Ivan - Also a lizard. Also inspired by Dog. They didn't coordinate this, it was a total accident, but they think it's pretty cool that they match!

Ed and Stede dress up as each other because they're obnoxious (affectionate). Izzy sees Stede in a dark room and calls him Dad. Neither of them ever recovers from this.

[toomanykidsverse]

What would a theme park vacation be like for our favorite pirate family?

I imagine Stede's trying to put everyone in matching outfits for safety while making a Trip Schedule TM, Roach is already running to a food stall, someone is MIA, and Izzy is wishing he was anywhere else. But they have fun! Eventually!

ohhh man, vacations are always A Time for the family.

Stede absolutely sets up a pairing system so nobody gets lost (Somebody still gets lost. My bets are on Buttons, somehow).

Swede and Roach get the child leash treatment 😔 Roach has figured out how to shimmy out of it and is trying to haggle with a vendor for some funnel cake.

Ed is the Backpack Dad (you know the types I mean). He's got everything in there. You need more water? He's got more water. Hungry? No need to wait in line for an hour, Ed has snacks. Need to cool off? Boom, ice pack. He's prepared.

It's a summer trip. Izzy is still wearing his black hoodie. If he rides another rollercoaster he's going to pass out, but he wants to look cool so he's gonna do it anyway.

John 🤝 Frenchie

Can't ride rollercoasters because they get motion sickness. They can really go wild on a carousel tho.

Ed makes Stede ride the most intense rollercoaster in the whole park. Stede is terrified during the wait in line. They ride and by the end Stede is so full of adrenaline that he immediately gets in line to ride again. Ed is disheveled and regretting his decisions because the ride was way more intense than he'd expected it to be. Stede rides it like 3 more times by himself.

[toomanykidsverse]

Oh I have another one! When Swede is about 16 or 17 he’s the last kid in that huge house with his dads, so it’ll start to feel a bit lonely after growing up surrounded by his big family. Roach left a couple of months prior to go to chef school an hour’s drive away, so they only see each other during the weekends the first semester before Roach finds his own friends and stops coming home so often.😕

Now what’s a Swede to do??

He isn’t into getting a boy- or girlfriend himself, at least not yet. Lucius and Frenchie have tried setting him up with several people, but he’s not interested. It doesn’t help that Ed and Stede are overly protective of their youngest, since he’s the only one still living with them.😳

Cue Izzy, now 28, coming over one time Swede is home alone to pick something up. But he has someone with him. His twin daughters and Swede’s little nieces. They’re eight months old and both being fuzzy while their dad rushes around the house still in search of the forgotten item. Swede and Izzy get along alright, but due to the age gap they’ve never been particularly close. He offers to hold one of his whimpering nieces, and quickly makes her happy and content again after tickling her chin. Izzy stops his frantic search, hands over his other daughter whom Swede pacifies just as quickly.🥹

He babbles babytalk to them and laughs when they squeal in delight. Izzy is amazed at his youngest brother’s ability with his daughters and seeing as his paternity leave ends in a month, offers Swede to come over and watch his nieces a couple of hours after their daycare. Ivan and Fang ended their leave earlier and have been back to work for four months. Swede wasn’t happy at school either, so Ed and Stede found him somewhere he goes for about four hours a day and learns a bit about life, homemaking skills and maturity instead of sitting still at a table all day. (Based on my own experiences, because projecting?? Yay!😇)

From then on (with his dads’ enthusiastic consent) Swede acts as babysitter to the little girls a few hours daily after he picks them up from daycare. He earns a bit and gets closer to them, as well as Izzy, Fang and Ivan (whom he’s always looked up to in secret😁)

AAA GOSH THIS IS ADORABLE, I don't have a ton to add honestly, I think this speaks for itself, but this is SO sweet <3 babysitter Swede is everything to me.

[toomanykidsverse]

I recently reread these fics and remembered how much I love this concept in general and your writing specifically.

Which of the kids do Ed and Stede get called to school about the most? Is it a natural suspect (Izzy) or someone more unexpected?

it's absolutely Izzy and Jim the most, I've definitely talked about them and the trouble they get into quite a bit... BUT if you'd like a more interesting answer, I think the runner up is probably Roach just for generally (accidentally) terrorizing the other kids. I don't think Ed and Stede really have to come to the school for anything he does but they definitely get some calls.

As it turns out, most other kids don't enjoy being pelted with dirt or handed a large bug. Who knew? Roach doesn't mean anything by it, but it's often enough to make another kid cry enough to warrant a phone call.

[toomanykidsverse]

Okay, so just read these fantastic and beautiful stories and I’m in love!!😍 Thought I’d share a couple of hcs😉

- Stede and Izzy’s relationship continue to develop, albeit very slowly. Stede lets Izzy come to him in his own time, but as his life as a proper teenager quickly approaches, Izzy finds himself coming more and more to Stede for guidance, ‘cause what if his dad will just worry about him, oh no🙁 Stede talks to him calmly and he’s level-headed when giving advice. (Mostly about Izzy’s love life☺️)

- Izzy calls Stede ‘dad’ once when he’s about 17 and swears on his grave it’s an ACCIDENT, Lucius, stop smirking like that!😑 It happens again some months later, when he’s chatting with his boyfriends and he casually mentions his ‘dads’. Ivan and Fang exchange a look since they know of Izzy’s attitude towards his dad’s husband, and they’re both smiling at the implication of their boyfriend welcoming Stede more into his life.

- When Izzy is grown and about to marry Fang and Ivan, he asks both Ed and Stede to walk him down the aisle.💕 Stede is bawling the entire time, getting both his own and Ed’s suit all wet☺️ (Lucius is the maid of honor!!😁 And Swede is the flowerboy🌸 They tie the rings around Beastie’s collar so she can act as the ringbearer🐈‍⬛. No wait, I read a funny post somewhere about a couple having a little boy as their ringbearer, and he thought they meant ‘ring bear’ so he went down the aisle growling like a bear at everyone!! That’s Roach😂 Ok this is getting out of hand for me now..😅 Do I just want an entire fic of the pure chaos Izzy’s wedding will be with all those excitable siblings and over emotional dads?? Yes.😇)

ohhh yes I love these!

I have absolutely thought about how their relationship would change and grow as the years go by, it's slow but Izzy grows to genuinely like and care for Stede. This is absolutely not until he's an adult, but before then he at least grows from disliking to tolerating to eventually respecting Stede and genuinely getting advice and input from him.

And AAA Izzy calling Stede dad! He doesn't even notice he's done it until someone calls him on it, and then he tries to hard to backtrack. But talking about his "dads" to Ivan and Fang? Yeah, there's no backing out of that one. He once again doesn't notice and Ivan and Fang are nice enough to not mention it.

Rolling on the floor screaming and crying thinking about Izzy's wedding. It's an absolute mess with the whole family there, and Izzy, Ivan, and Fang wouldn't want it any other way <3

[toomanykidsverse]

Things heard during the Teach-Bonnet family photo:

put your hand up!

why does your elbow go like that-

move your leg in

move your hand down

isreal teach, do you even want to BE in this photo??

no, Frenchie, you can't go get your guitar

oh for heaven's sake, pete, your soccer ball-?

sit down! stand up!

lean forward, shoulders turned

move your knee in

are we missing somebody?

Wake them up, they're in the car!

no, you can't feed the birds

now get together and act like you love each other!

I absolutely love this, and I just KNOW Buttons is the one trying to feed the birds.

this is made all the worse by the fact that the kids are all talking through all of this and Stede keeps having to shout over them, and they still can't hear him most of the time,,,

[toomanykidsverse]

How long does it take to take a nice family photo on vacation? I imagine it takes quite a lot of wrangling

oh it is an absolute NIGHTMARE. it takes ages.

trying to get everyone to stand still? good luck. making sure everyone is standing where they'll be visible in the photo? have fun with that. trying to get everyone to look like they actually want to be doing this? yeah sorry you're gonna have to remove Izzy from the pic if you want that.

predictably, like most things with this group, it takes a lot of time and a lot of patience, but hey... maybe Stede will be able to look at the final pictures and not think about the five times Roach walked off because he got distracted by something on the ground.

[toomanykidsverse]

May I ask what the new AU you are working on is?

of course! gonna try to keep this short and sweet bc there's a lot going on in it, but basically:

it takes place in a fantasy universe I made and have written in before, Ed is a human who does Typical Witchcrafty Things and Stede is an angel that he creates a human vessel for. And then they kiss (eventually). It's a lot more complicated but for the basic jist, that's it!

[charmania]

drew a little teen emo izzy from @mothmerchant ‘s au @toomanykidsverse , because I am also in my angsty emo phase and I find it funny

[toomanykidsverse]

I have NO clue how I didn't see this sooner but AAA I LOVE THIS!!

[toomanykidsverse]

apologizing now if content for this au slows down a teensy bit! I now have yet another ofmd au I'm working on which means not all of my focus is going into this one. I'm still very much working on it. just a lil slower now that I've got two aus I'm actively working on!

please keep asks coming, as those are the easiest way for me to keep talking about this au at the moment while I focus my art and fic attentions on this other au for a bit :]

[toomanykidsverse]

Stede wanted some candid photos, turns out they're just as difficult and chaotic when you have 10 kids as posed pictures (based off an ad I saw) (also pretend I drew a background that was as messy as the reference bc lets be real, their house would look like that)

oh my gosh this is perfect. especially living for Frenchie being absolutely covered in cake and Roach just casually pouring a drink on Ed,,, the kids can be great, but they are also absolute nightmares sometimes <3