Either that or I'd eaten too many Krispies

I'm Maude. I play music and do sound things. 22. NZ

[honeytrapqueen]

hey! followers! get to know me by

fighting me to the death

[steviedicksss]

Person: So like, how do lesbians have sex?

Me: 

[jessapriltyler]

😂

[cantcontrolthegay-deactivated20]

[puppetwithapistol-deactivated20]

I say no worries a lot for someone who worries 101% of the time

[innocencelives]

shoutout to people with simultaneously great and terrible memories. like oh yeah i remember in perfect detail that random story you told about the banana costume from a year ago but all of novemeber? completely blank.

[mothurs]

happy new year but also time isn’t real

[nakedly]

being called annoying is literally the worst thing ever because then you’re scared to ever say or do anything again and you end up isolating yourself because you think everyone hates you and you feel insecure about everything. long story short pls dont call people annoying

[neymarsfantasies-deactivated201]

Me: I want to travel

Bank account: you can afford to walk downstairs

[luvbey]

I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE SCRATCH MY BACK OR DO THE LITTLE SKIN TRACE THING OR PLAY WITH MY HAIR OH MY LAWD

[showerthoughtsofficial]

When medication says “do not operate heavy machinery” they’re probably mainly referring to cars, but my mind always goes to forklift.

[thestarsarehaunted]

It has honestly never occurred to me that this warning was about cars and not construction equipment

[1672dykebrigade-deactivated2016]

who has time for mystery in relationships? in this economy? no ma'am, let’s be honest and direct with each other.

[holdingontoyoufordearlife]

Kate McKinnon being the dorkiest adorable dork that ever dorked on Late Night with Seth Meyers (12.05.2016)

[997]

[cantcontrolthegay-deactivated20]

[finds the most unavailable person] 

[points] that one i want that one 

[dalenatn-deactivated20230830]

[jamausis]

i am not real.. i made myself up

[shuwfalqamar]

humans are so Loud and for What