[hollowtones]

i am 

POLITE

i can 

DRINKWATER

[calellon]

i'm sorry we've fallen out touch it's just that i've been in a very bad spot mentally (2011-present)

[9710144]

[tatzelwurming]

if i was in a haunted hotel with shelley duvall for an entire winter i would not chase her around with an axe

[tatzelwurming]

get a load of this, fellas. heh, “feminism” ,amirite guys?

[powerburial]

im a body language expert and if you watch the film closely you can see she doesn’t like to be chased with an axe

[herotox20-deactivated20210706]

[lee-e]

Receptionist in question

[marzipanandminutiae]

scars in fiction: I got this trying to save my lover from an assassin- but tragically, I was too late. now I carry the mark of my failure with me always, and I can never forget~

scars in real life: so I was trying to open macaroni sauce with a paring knife

[tied-up-teacup]

Tell me how you got your scars in the tags

[chipthekeeper]

I have a lot of pet peeves but I think the biggest one is when people say things like “oh it’s such a small town, only 35,000 people” like bitch my town has 200 people, you need to pick a new adjective 

[thegoldengals]

According to Wikipedia, a small town is 1,000-20,000 people. So although you are correct in stating that 35,000 people is not a small town (it is a large town), you are incorrect in thinking that you live in a town. You live in a village. You are a villager.

[chipthekeeper]

I…… don’t know what to do with that information……a villager…

[markv5]

[wiggernometry-deactivated202210]

Top three things to say to women

That’s crazy

Fair enough

yeah it’s actually humidity more than the heat itself you’re feeling

[tibby]

tubi is one of our greatest warriors in the fight against streaming services costing a fortune for mediocre content. tubi has the most insane collection of movies you will ever encounter all for free. it has cult classics and questionable lifetime movies and movies that nobody except like three people on the planet have ever seen. tubi has movies that doesn’t exist. like if you just thought of a movie one day but never made it and no one ever made it it would somehow still exist on tubi. one day i will log onto tubitv dot com and i will see terribly inappropriate, overly complex, and strange on there. and i won’t even be surprised.

[blackphoenixincorporated]

Tubi is where I found this gem:

[wolf-pearl]

Ok so I'm taking a genetics class right now and in lab we've been given fruit flies with different mutations that we need to breed over the course of the semester.

Now, first thing I learned: fruit flies don't eat fruit. They eat yeast. They eat the yeast on fermenting fruit. They can not actually eat fruit. Their name is a lie.

Secondly, one of the two mutant lines I was given to cross are flies with the apterous mutation, aka they're wingless. I feel so bad for them, they can't do the one thing they're named for, they cant fly.

And then I realized. My fruit flies are in truth insects that eat yeast and can't fly.

Anyways, I've been calling them my yeast crawls and I am their god now.

[tsunflowers]

I feel bad for people who’ve never experienced a corn maze bc it’s not even fun but you just have to do it

[anatomiau-deactivated20240816]

[ofthefog-deactivated20241127]

Finally finished teaching oranghutans agriculture. Now I'm off to teach dolphins how to war.

[nia--san]

ants already know both of those things

[ofthefog-deactivated20241127]

who do you think taught me?

[sounddesignerjeans-deactivated2]

[yardsards]

shoutout to the autistic bitches who write wholeass informal essays of meta/analysis/theories about their special interest media. you are the fucking backbone of our goddamned society

[yardsards]

if ur in a fandom and ur posts look like this

i love you

[yardsards]

i love everyone in the tags talking about things they have written or read impromptu essays about

[zackisontumblr]

BIG fucking mood

[wyldstallyn]

this post is for broccoli fans ONLY 🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦 broccoli i love you