I exist to exist

Just doin' my thing. Gender? Idk. Doesn't matter as long as we vibe. I keep breathing for my cats. Behold how my brain works.

[tooselfaware]

Haven't watched StP in a while. Then I did. And it made me cry, like always.

My abandonment issues and anxious attachment still can't handle "Do I miss your hand because I can't stand to see it go?" Is it the words? The VA? The sound of the stabs as she tries to kill the only person who tried to save her? I don't know. It hurts to even think about all the implications (and my projections)

Oh, and the music when they decide to leave the cabin as fragments of themselves. It just feels so hopeful. Two confused souls facing whatever after eternities trapped by their nature and the expectations of their creator. My babies just wanna be happy 😭😭😭

[tooselfaware]

Sometimes I get goosebumps on my back and arms while lying sideways. And due to loneliness, pretend he's hugging me, so I name him and think of him as a sort of imaginary friend (idk, I never had an imaginary friend when I was young). He doesn't visit and hug me so much anymore.

[tooselfaware]

My brain is hyperfixating on webtoons and I want it to be on novels because I said I was gonna reread TCF to feel happy. But I was trapped by the faces of Lloyd Frontera and ended up crying upon finishing the webtoon.

My brain is not focusing on novels out of spite and I am now reading unfinished webtoons with cute animals and/or systems and/or slice of life that would probably make me cry (if the plot won't, the waiting for updates will).

[lobsterflaws]

Finally figured out how to upload all 24 images at once!

[tooselfaware]

Well dang. Now, I'm weeping again. Merry Christmas 😭😭😭

[tooselfaware]

Soulmates. What I got from StP was that "soulmates" doesn't always mean "happy ending". It means finding that person (or eldritch being, in their case) over and over again, and loving them in some way. You'll hurt them and/or they will hurt you. You will keep being drawn to each other, but it's up to both of you to make it work or to keep your distance to not hurt each other.

And I think that's beautiful. You're "meant to be" but it doesn't have to be as lovers. It could be platonic, adversarial, parasitic, or straight up toxic.

If reincarnation is real, and soulmates are real, I hope that part of our soul remembers our past mistakes. So that it won't hurt as much as the last time.

[lobsterflaws]

This is a Love Story

[tooselfaware]

🫠😭

[tooselfaware]

SLAY THE PRINCESS - Would You Fall In Love With Me Again

Just found this while looking for playthroughs... I am now unwell 🫠

The implications of the interactions in every frame is just 🤌🤌🤌 and it hurts!

[lulaaaaaaw]

HE’S SO HOT LOOK AT HIMMM😭😭😭 i actually need him BAD

[tooselfaware]

As someone who watched the series before reading the books, I was thoroughly disappointed with Book Ramsay's appearance. Wdym he's not evil AND hot?! How am I supposed to loathe his dastardly smoldery face if it's not smoldery at all? I'd still hate him, but at least I can be a teeny tiny bit conflicted about it.

[dogpuppy]

[what-even-is-thiss]

When my brother was a toddler he used to put ketchup on waffles

[tooselfaware]

Welp, I still put ketchup on most things so...

[tooselfaware]

Maybe it's because I haven't watched many playthroughs that stayed with the Nightmare, but I just realized that the visions shown are the nightmares of us, the player, the mortals.

It clicked when I heard "Your existence hurts them" along with my state of mind atm, but yeah. It's all the fears of existence, repeatedly. Well, that put reincarnation in a sad light.

But lorewise, I think it gave TLQ a peek at what mortal life is. Mostly the bad and ugly side of it, because even the good hurts because the few moments of it are painful once it's lost. But maybe it's just me spiraling down again.

[tooselfaware]

Saw a stream that called the Damsel "pretty boring" and it kinda hurt hearing that.

She likes you for who you are and wants you to be happy, even to the point of deconstructing herself literally (if you go that way). Technically, you molded her (even Shifty says so).

Makes sense why she got the Happily Ever After chapter. She wanted to leave and knew nothing else, so she left it up to you, but you chose to stay in the cabin. Oh you know, the cabin she's been trapped in since who knows when! So of course she's disappointed!

And then the Voice of the Smitten shows her your heart literally (because THAT seems the very not toxic thing to do 🙄) so she's probably just all "Oh, you love me that much? Okay, I'll do this to make us happy."

And we all witness the tragedy of that epilogue, until they choose to leave.

But yeah, whatever. The guy playing didn't see HEA so "pretty boring".

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

more little old lady witches who cast spells using knitting needles and yarn

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#stitch witch

[tooselfaware]

Now imagine an old lady witch knitting Stitch and now she has a feral six-limbed "dog" as backup if you disrepect her.

[tooselfaware]

"Do I miss your heart because I can't stand to see it go?"

Well, never thought I'd cry over a line in a game I never played but keep watching playthroughs. But, here I am.

Why does this hurt so bad? Why do I keep thinking about this line? Of all the lines and dialogue!

I cried at other points watching streams and videos but this is the LINE that sticks in my head. The others are more about vibes.

I blame my Narrator.

[tooselfaware]

I just had a thought after watching A LOT of SotR reviews and deep dives.

Even if Haymitch did fill the cistern and somehow put out the fire in his house, his mom and Sid may still die because of their burns and/or smoke inhalation.

If one or both of them somehow survived, they wouldn't be able to function and Haymitch would have to live with that.

If they are somehow able to survive and continue to function, Snow would probably find some way to leverage them or just kill them when Haymitch pisses him off

[tooselfaware]

Saw a vid hating on SotR. One of the main reasons was "that's not Haymitch". 🤦‍♀️

You do know that this is before the trauma, right? That was kinda the point. He wasn't all jaded and grumpy before. He was just a regular kid in love. They're poor but they get by with his mom's work and his part-time job. Yeah, he's kinda emotional sometimes but he does his best.

It just irks me that SotR is the most "in your face" book, literally hitting you in the face with the messages and comparisons and people still don't get it sometimes.

I understand not liking the book because it's not what you hoped for but at some point it just felt like she was just hating on everything about the characters. Even Maysilee?!

I'm not being ragebaited right? Almost 3 hours of this? Nah. I have to save my sanity

[tooselfaware]

Jinu: I give it (my soul) to you.

Rumi: Goddammit! I guess I'm gonna reforge my sword.

[tooselfaware]

Reactors during the last fight: He's (Jinu) gonna harmonize with them/gonna rap to help!

Jinu: Imma tank that.

Everyone: NOOOOOOO!