tacky and pedantic

[catchymemes]

[flipchild]

my daddy always taught us to be ashamed of our everything

[collapsedsquid]

Iran has quickly rebuilt infrastructure damaged during the U.S. and Israeli bombing campaign over recent months, from missile bases nestled deep inside mountains to bridges, ports and production facilities, according to Israeli and Western officials and a review of satellite imagery.

New plan to defeat Iran, air-drop US immigration visas stapled to construction job offers, Maybe they can replace the Francis Scott Key bridge in less than a century amirite???

[thatsbelievable]

[daco-broman]

shit I missed my window, next week I guess

[the-worm-man]

Reblog on Tuesday to let your followers know it’s safe to leave the bog

[soggyskinflaps]

Mustelidae family in a nutshell

[dramatic-dolphin]

it's actually so funny that all you need to do as a female athlete to be immediately disqualified is being good, because everyone knows women suck ass at everything and if a woman is good at something that's unnatural. hashtag feminism hashtag protect women.

[carys-the-ninth]

"let me put this object some place obvious and inconvenient so im forced to deal with it" (grows around it like a tree root around a rock)

[rabbitindisguise]

#baby i can ignore elephants in the room in ways you cannot imagine.

[collapsedsquid]

The aide said that guys like me were ”in what we call the reality-based community,” which he defined as people who ”believe that solutions emerge from your judicious study of discernible reality.” I nodded and murmured something about enlightenment principles and empiricism. He cut me off. ”That’s not the way the world really works anymore,” he continued. ”We’re an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you’re studying that reality — judiciously, as you will — we’ll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that’s how things will sort out. We’re history’s actors . . . and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.”

[sizzlingcandyjellyfish]

NEVER be vulnerable. FLUSH your medication down the toilet. LIE when people ask how you’re doing. SUPPRESS your feelings. ALWAYS be irritable and abrasive. MAKE SURE you push away anyone who’s close to you. CANCEL your therapy appointment.

[belloochie]

hair silky like tofu

ass firm like another kind of tofu

[porcelain-dollbones]

snakes really make you appreciate how gross mammals really are. squamates are very dry and clean

[porcelain-dollbones]

a bird is a kind of reptile that has learned to be yucky.

[subaru-copilot]

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

[librarycards]

i am just moved by everything now. i'm porous and everything gets inside me

[real-language-facts]

“UFO” is synonymous with “bird.” This is becausee i cant identify birds and im not wearing my glasses.

this could be true for you but i know every bird personally so theyre not ufos to me

[dogpuppy]

[ewaneneollav]

what if after job interview you catch a glimpse of the person’s notepad & see they wrote “things have learnt to walk that ought to crawl”

[akindplace]

oh wow you’re not gonna believe this but turns out i was unnecessarily anxious for no reason. how unexpected