Totodile Tears

Who even knows what this blog is for any more. There's definitely some Pokemon, Legend of Zelda, Fullmetal Alchemist, and various western cartoons, though.

[phantomrose96]

I wonder if “we have to torture this special character. in the lab facility. with secret science.” is an interest all 12-year-old children share or were we just the generation exposed to Maximum Ride

[phantomrose96]

You’re right. How could I forget to credit anime for its role in putting the special character in the secret torture facility (for science).

[sympathischeufos]

Genuine question: Isn't this just Bond villainy and/or medieval torture dungeon? Or what kind of facility are we talking about?

[phantomrose96]

The Facility is a critically important part here. See it’s a Science Facility. It’s run by a very shady clandestine organization, which is incredibly powerful. They’re maybe part of the government, or if not the government then something Illuminati-like.

As such The Facility is very high tech, and likely buried underground or hidden somewhere no normal person can access. The Torture being done is for Science, which the Facility is for. It’s all scientists in lab coats doing the torture. There is so much lab equipment and probably a lot of devices hooked up to the special character which will beep and go off the charts when the special character has a violent mind explosion. This part is important.

[phantomrose96]

A lot of really good mentions in the notes here

Mewtwo

Secrets of Nimh

Wolverine

Akira

Elfen Lied

Shadow the Hedgehog

And a special mention to the couple of people identifying that a 12-year-old stuck in school all day is, perhaps, in a way, a special character being tortured in the science facility.

[vimbry-moved]

got chased by a skeleton but when they caught me they just gave me a kiss and hug. turns out it was an xoskeleton.

[vimbry-moved]

this one's a big hit with the ghosts

[totodiletears]

I would be just

the worst parent

[totodiletears]

like I am not blaming kids for being kids and I'm not gonna be one of those "ohhh I HATE kids for being kids" people but I just. Could not. They're too dang unpredictable. Do not make me a parent. I would be so bad at it.

[totodiletears]

I would be just

the worst parent

[flipchild]

[flipchild]

[powerburial]

picking the torture option and the next day the first thing he does right off the bat is make me eat a really big live spider

[totodiletears]

How many people never figured out how to turn off their Switch/Switch 2 and think they have it "off" when it's in sleep mode?

Because I've seen so many people complain about how fast the battery drains when it's "off" but I had my switch 1 off for a couple months while brain wanted to play nothing but Pokopia. I decided today I should maybe turn it back on and at least swap out the joycons so their battery wear can continue to be relatively even, and hey, I could even move the Super Mario RPG save over to it and play on that machine for a while since it DOES let me play longer than the Switch 2 does on one charge, and... still near 50%, close to where it was when I turned it off.

I'm just saying, that's way better than what other people seem to be experiencing.

[phantomrose96]

….are you writing bee movie fic now? why?

Barry the Bee and his friend Bee Maes Hughes looked high up at the ramparts of war-torn Bee Country, where Fuhrer Bee Bradley oversaw his legions of bee drones.

"The power of one bee doesn't amount to much. But with whatever power I have, I'll protect the ones I love, and in turn they will protect the ones they love. It's the least we tiny bees can do" Barry the Bee said.

"Sounds like a bee-ramid scheme," Bee Maes Hughes said. "But for that to work, you gotta bee standing at the top of the bee-ramid," he said, gesturing to Fuhrer Bee Bradley

"I can't imagine how good it feels standing up there," Barry the Bee said.

At that moment, Bee Envy, disguised as a sexy human, flattened Bee Maes Hughes with the base of a red solo cup.

[phantomrose96]

Yes yes. Envy the enby enbee

[phantomrose96]

[phantomrose96]

According to all known laws of alchemy, there is no way an alchemist should be able to commit human transmutation. Their alchemic powers are too small to get their deceased loved one out of the grave. The alchemist, of course, tries anyway because alchemists don't care that human transmutation is impossible

[artofelanor]

Have you seen the new movie? It's on library. It's literally on the library. It's on library without ads. It's literally on your local public library. You can probably ask for it on your library. Dude it's on your library. It's in the original case too. It's on library. You can watch it at the library. You can go to your local library and watch it. Register onto your local library right now. Go to your library. Dive into your library. You can watch it. It's on there. Your library has it for you. Your library has it for you.

[mossworth]

Have you seen your post? You can see it at library. It's at library. It's on the library staff cabinet. It got printed out on paper and put up on Library.

[artofelanor]

oh my GOSH wow... I'm on Library...

[thedevilsrain]

every single translator: get his ass

[argumate]

Hungarian translator: I'm on it

[morhath]

I hate when king arthur has all these fussy little steps in the instructions and you're like "no way do these fussy little steps matter" but you try it and they do. they matter so much.

[bookaddict7342]

I thought you meant Camelot quests and I was like "that's fair, 'never pick a four leaf clover on the last Wednesday of the month' IS a fussy little step that shouldn't matter" but then I was like "wait isn't that also a flour company"

[morhath]

nooo I am not a beleaguered knight of the round table I am making elaborate focaccia 😭

[copperbadge]

"I hate when King Arthur has all these fussy little steps" -- Camelot cleaning staff, probably

[smbc-comics]

Ironically less crazy than that thing SBF said to Tyler Cowen.

Check out the bonus panel on the site.

Upcoming book signings this summer.

───── ◆ ───── ◆ ───── ◆ ─────

SMBC ◆ PATREON ◆ INSTAGRAM ◆ BLUESKY ◆ STORE

Buy this comic as a print.

[starburstdragon]

based on a discord conversation

[destinationtoast]

Cultural Insights of Our Own: Lessons From a Newly Decoded Digital Archive

Interplanetary Journal of Cultural Studies

Volume 16, Issue 3, Pages 322-340

Abstract

The recently decoded Internet Archive includes the digital artifact called “Archive of Our Own” (AO3) from early third millennium Earth.  AO3 is unusually well backed up and therefore is presumed to contain some of the most significant -- perhaps even sacred -- texts of the time.  In this paper we present our preliminary analysis of AO3 metadata, including new insights about the literature, gender and sexuality, religion, and scientific understanding of this historical era: 

I. LITERATURE. We describe the cultural centrality of figures such as the Winchesters and Reader.  We explore how they featured heavily in every dominant literature genre of the era, including Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, and Oral Sex.  

II. GENDER AND SEXUALITY. We review the overwhelming evidence that male-male relationships were the most culturally significant sexual and romantic relationships, but we also show that it was a culture with an unusually broad set of sexual and gender roles.  In particular, we highlight the unusual tripartite conceptualization of gender as including alpha, beta, and omega roles; we note the apparent prejudice against betas, illustrated in the prevalence of “no beta we die like men” and similar protest slogans. 

III. RELIGION. We describe a newly discovered religious taboo: doves were a common sacrificial animal of the time, but they were forbidden from being eaten.  

IV. SCIENCE. Finally, we present new insight about alternate universes.  While previous scholars hypothesized that the scientists of Earth may have developed a correct early theory of the multiverse by the late second millennium, our analysis of AO3 presents evidence to the contrary.  As late as the early third millennium, prevailing theories postulated highly specific universes, such as a universe in which everyone is in high school, or a universe contained within a coffee shop.  

Taken together, these historical insights show that further investigation is warranted into the valuable documents stored within AO3, perhaps even going beyond the metadata to examine the full texts.

[escuerzoresucitado]

[bearcatcatbear]

Today is the only day you can summon the energy to reblog this.

[phantomqueen]

my storytelling final! or, that week i almost went blind cross-hatching!

it’s a couple weeks old at this point, but i’m still proud of it (all that cross-hatching…) even though looking back at it now i can see a ton of flaws or things i just could’ve done better. maybe i’ll redo it one day.

the page colors are kind of wonky because they’re photographs; i didn’t have a scanner big enough for the pages.

hell yeah monster/human friendships

[immabethehero]

Awwww, cute comic!!!

[totodiletears]

oooo I had a good idea for something to add to a scene that didn't really work tonight, and now it's so much better!

[ms-demeanor]

Someday I'm going to make the world's meanest video essay and it will be about seed oils.

[ms-demeanor]

Being a huge fucking bitch isn't a terribly effective way of doing science communication so maybe I'll make the very mean video and my Worksona, Allison, will explain why it's fine to use grapeseed oil in a calm, patient, reassuring tone.

[ms-demeanor]

"People are lying to you on the internet and they're not even bothering to lie well. I'm going to need you to exercise some discernment on your Facebook feed before measles kills a few thousand people this year."

"Seed oils, like most fats, are perfectly fine to consume in moderation and are certainly safer to consume regularly than saturated fats are. If you're concerned about your health, please speak to your doctor, but as long as you are eating a varied diet with lots of fruits and veggies, you are eating enough food to maintain energy, and you get some exercise, you're doing pretty well!"

[ms-demeanor]

My uncle has been diagnosed with some kind of gut disorder and is struggling to figure out how to do an elimination diet and his woo-woo friend is sending him tiktoks about "ingredients you can't pronounce" and i need to start making tiktoks about food additives and what they do and how they're produced and how, unless you've got an allergy, there's no way that it's worse for you to consume soy lecithin than it is to consume beef tallow.

[totodiletears]

Amateurs. Soy lecithin is easy to pronounce. Four syllables over two words, easy. And one of those words is common! Obviously they should be avoiding additives that are much longer, like cholecalciferol. Saw that one on a cereal box this week, and it's obviously bad because it's hard to pronounce that one correctly at a quick glance. Must avoid at all costs! Anyway would you like to buy my vitamin supplement pills? Big Pharma doesn't want you to know most problems can be solved with vitamin supplements!

(For clarity's sake, since for most people picking up on the sarcasm would require looking something up: the joke is that cholecalciferol is just vitamin D)