talks with my friends who are going to kink parties and having t4t orgies and doing petplay and then goes to sleep in my childhood bedroom and dreams of the snow, and rain
from @timeflow -
[image id: black text on a white background that reads "your friends are all living their lives and having fun and exploring their sexuality together, but their lives almost feel fictitious and fantastical - yes they're doing all this but all that stuff is just an ideal, that's something you only hear about others doing and never get to access it for yourself. you talk to them about it online to try to get a taste of it, try to live vicariously through them but that's not going to replicate their real experiences. they (adults, experimenting with sex, connecting with people like them, mature enough to live their own lives) are on a different plane to you, you who is still back in your childhood bedroom, disconnected from the adult world, feeling like you haven't finish your teenage years yet. you have a lot of close friends but none of them are close to you. while they are out doing things you occasionally daydream about doing in some distant future, you're sleeping alone in your bedroom. and you're dreaming about the snow, and rain" /end id]
