Mr. Meat is in the Back

she/her | ace | 20+ very much here for that sweet sweet communal joy; I'll fuck anyone, I mean it; hit me up w headcanons, fic ideas, fic requests, movie and book recs. I translate! theme by seyche

[animentality]

[catilinas]

i love shipping magazines and i especially love them when they sound like they were written by a mildly aggravated cargo ship

[penny-anna]

Do Eridians know they are different colours. I bet Grace's alien kids love finding out what colour they are. It means absolutely nothing to them but they're like :O :O

[penny-anna]

Some of them think he's making this whole 'colour' thing up to mess with them and try to catch him out by asking again on a different day to prove he's just saying random noises but he's like you are still blue buddy and they're like :O :O

[penny-anna]

Like if we met an alien species who had extra senses & they said that some humans felt spingly and some humans felt spoingly I bet we'd all want to know if we were spingly or spoingly humans

[blueapplesiren]

I wonder how aliens will react to our communal grooming instinct? Like when you see something stuck to your homie’s clothes/skin/hair and it’s driving you nuts and you just gotta be like “hold still, lemme get that for you real quick.”

One time when I was a kid, I had a science teacher with a snake as a class pet, and said snake was almost done shedding. There was one little bit of dried skin stuck to its face and I was like, “would it hurt him if I pulled that off?” And the teacher said, “yes it actually could, it’s probably still attached to living skin if it hasn’t come off yet” and I was like “oh, sorry,” and he said, “that’s okay, you were just wanting to do the primate thing.” And damn, that’s such an accurate descriptor.

Anyways I hope aliens don’t mind me/my descendants having the urge to pluck stuff off of them. If they ask, we’ll have to tell them it’s a trait we evolved to survive ticks.

[kyraneko]

Sometimes you might feel the urge to help someone in a certain way, and sometimes they really don't want to be helped in that way, either because it would not help them (or even hurt them) or because they would rather do it themselves (for various reasons).

It's important to realize that sometimes you're going to be a primate and they're going to be a snake, and it needs to be okay if they do not want their skin pulled off at this time.

[throo]

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

[throo]

We could have been eating him

[animentality]

[opossum-mypossum]

[hadesisqueer]

Two World Cup finalists from opposing teams in this fucking picture, this sport isn't real

[hadesisqueer]

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

[joyflameball]

[onyxbird]

Uh oh, buddy, did you dip the entire baby in the good-at-soccer water? You didn't think ahead and leave, e.g., his heel, mediocre at soccer just in case?

[mayasaura]

Amena, a second-year student at PSUMNT trying to get into the highly competitive Perihelion workstudy program: Sooooooo, any chance family of crewmembers get preferential placement? Yeah, the Perihelion's security consultant is my. Uh.

Amena, realising she doesn't want to try to explain Secunit to the Dean of Students: The security consultant is my Third Mom.

[secunitscompromisedbrain]

peer reviewing ops tags cause they made me laugh loud enough to scare my dog

[justsomeguycore]

i think everyone in the whole world forgot that mystery doesn’t have to equal crime

[justsomeguycore]

sometimes it’s just like. what happent ?

[beaft]

common advice for social anxiety is to tell yourself "people aren't going to think less of you just because you said something a bit daft" but the thing is. sometimes they will. and you just have to learn to be cool with that and to treat it as a dnd random encounter rather than letting it ruin your whole day

[beaft]

recent example. lady at my careers appointment had a post-it with her name on it stuck to the monitor, so i introduced myself by saying "hello, i'm eliot! you must be [name], it's nice to meet you!" and she stared at me as if i was the stupidest person alive and said icily, "yeah, i'm [name]. congratulations, you can read."

in bygone times this would have reduced me to a sort of quivering blancmange. thankfully i am now in a place where i was able to pull back, calmly evaluate this interaction, and say to myself "this woman should probably not be working in a customer-facing job"

[beaft]

important additions!!!!

[vaspider]

Sometimes learning "wow, that person is a DICK" is the best thing for your social anxiety.

[samirasystole]

random but here is a recipe for cold peanut noodles that you can make during hot weather because i just ate this and had a fantastic time

2tbsp of peanut butter. a splash of rice vinegar, soy sauce, sesame oil, maple syrup. some chili flakes, some sesame seeds. a splash of water to thin it out. now you put in your noodles (cooled!!!! boiled and rinsed so they’re cold!!) and then some chopped up cucumber or carrot or avocado or cabbage or any crunchy vegetable. i just used cucumber

you can also put in lime juice or herbs or sriracha or grated garlic/ginger or anything like that; tofu/tempe/meat for more protein etc. noodle wise this can be ramen soba udon whatever, i used soba. enjoy homies

[ficwip5k]

do you love AUs? want to write one with just 5,000 words?

5k is our maximum, not the minimum, and shorter stuff is absolutely welcome. Compete for the shortest fic of the year! The 5k welcomes all fandoms, ships, and original fiction. And as for content restrictions, we don't have them. Write what you want, tag what you write.

event info + FAQs + how to post

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[dogpuppy]

[smeelio]

I want to carry them around in a bandolier

[gaslit-dipshits]

[appalachian-werewolf]

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[8syntheticanimal8]

[owlservice]

I wish I was taller. I wish I was a baller. I wish my cat had a phone I would call her.

[dogpuppy]