War-in-Heaven Veterans Association

40k fan, xenos enjoyer, competitive Kill Team player and reluctant hobbyist. Also the Deceiver was right and I'm done with all the fake news from the biased aeldari media.

[toxic-stargod-apologist]

Behold, Kephra the Exile and her outcast court!

This is actually just a quick and dirty kill team I knocked up for a tournament I'm playing in. There's no good rules for necron kill teams at the moment, so they're all built to be proxies for chaos legionaries. I'm pretty proud of them though.

[toxic-stargod-apologist]

Watching the whole Stranger Things conformitygate thing happen in real time has been fascinating. You'll see someone saying "the normies are so dumb for taking this seriously, they don't realise we're just having silly fandom fun", and then the next post will be someone who's deadly serious about it and will 100% have an emotional breakdown if they ever realise there's no 9th episode.

[toxic-stargod-apologist]

According to the National Literacy Trust, "media literacy" refers to the skills needed to be able to critically access, analyse, evaluate and create media in various forms. This is wrong. Media literacy is actually when you correctly decipher all the hidden clues which prove your favorite queer ship is going to be canon. Not to be confused with media criticism, which is when you send death threats to the showrunners because your fave turned out to be heterosexual for real.

[cursed-40k-thoughts]

I see they’re adding Lion El’Jonson to Dawn of War IV. Now if they could kindly not do that and dodge the risk of devaluing literally every other character and potential narrative moment in the game, that would be good.

Leave the unkillable and unassailable metaplot characters in a far corner so we can have actual stakes and investment, thank you. Just make him a one-off toy to use or something. Even then, it runs the risk of making everything else seem lesser.

[toxic-stargod-apologist]

There was actually an interview with the developers where they talked about this. It sounded like they were very aware that this could be an issue, and he's only going to be playable in a couple of missions. Maybe only one, it wasn't entirely clear. No idea what part he'll play in the story though.

[chemos-factories]

let’s make this warhammer a warhome-er

[robot-roadtrip-rants]

cottagecore 40k? put clonegrim in a sundress and have him bake cookies for trazyn ig

[toxic-stargod-apologist]

They have a pet neurolictor living in a cute little dog house in the garden. It keeps driving the neighbours insane with horrifying visions of the hive mind; Trazyn has no psychic presence so he thinks they're just overreacting, but Clonegrim is very apologetic about the whole thing.

[cursed-40k-thoughts]

Is there anything happening with AoS these days?

Yeah

[toxic-stargod-apologist]

[cursed-40k-thoughts]

Following on from that "kill a named character" ask, if you could introduce one new named character who would it be? By which I mean, is there a faction which could really benefit from a named character in a particular role (named eldar warlock, named SoB hospitaller, etc.) but they don't have one right now?

Mechanicus could use literally any other named character that isn't Belisarius "plot device" Cawl. Give 'em a fancy Datasmith or Cybernetica-based Magos or something that enables lots of automata use and an automata-based roster expansion for the faction.

[crayoneatersanonymous-deactivat]

When I see the bosses in Space Marine 2 operations getting progressively more scuffed in both appearance and lore, so I just know Space Marine 3 is gonna have us fight lovecraftian horrors beyind comprehension but I can't prove it yet.

The Void Beast is terrifying enough, as was the Bio-Titan, but if in SM3 if I have to go anywhere near Nurgle or the Necrons I might shit a cinderblock.

I just know that if Guilliman appears in the game in any major way I am NOT sleeping for a while at that point LOL, Big E already spoke to Titus at the end of SM2 please don't traumatize me further.

Final boss of SM3 is gonna be a Necron the size of Unicron from Transformers, or just a legit Chaos God, and I'm just gonna look at Guilliman like:

[toxic-stargod-apologist]

Hoping Titus gets to be the second ultramarine to 1v1 this guy:

[e3n-ethan]

Crack ship:

Asurmen x Guilliman

Mainly because I believe the discovery that both of these men have sex would do the most potential psychic “did *not* want to know that” damage to the most people in 40k.

[toxic-stargod-apologist]

I'd like to make this a little more cursed, if I may. Consider what Guilliman would learn about Asurmen once they get talking:

Asurmen rose from the ashes of his fallen empire to save it. He founded a group of elite semi-supernatural warriors, who then went on to lead their own colourful fighting forces. He invented a way to protect his people's souls from chaos (the path system) but sacrificed his own chance of happiness to keep it safe (locked himself on the warrior path from day one). Remind you of anyone?

Yes, clearly Guilliman is working through some extremely complicated daddy issues and everyone in the imperium can see it. Everyone in the aeldari craftworlds can see it. It's deeply embarrassing for everyone involved, and yet they're still fucking.

[toxic-stargod-apologist]

Welp, I got my email from Black Library saying they weren't interested in my 500 word story. Guess I'll try again next time. In the meantime here's my (very) short story about Eldrad and Vect having a friendly game of chess:

Click Asdrubael Vect, lord of Commorragh, set a piece down on the finely crafted game board and sank back in his throne. He took up a flute of black wine and raised it theatrically. “And thus, the trap snaps shut. A shame; I hoped this time the game would last a little longer.” Eldrad Ulthran sat cross-legged, his eyes fixed on the board, his face inscrutable. “My compliments, Asdrubael. It’s an expertly crafted trap, but not inescapable.” Click A retreat. Vect recognised the beginnings of the Yr-Lashaen defence. “Ah, but there are traps within traps, my old friend. I must say I was sorry to hear of Ulthwé’s misfortune in the Elhorin expanse. So many brave souls lost…” Click “The price of victory.” Eldrad sighed. “One we are used to paying.” Click “Indeed. I only hope that price doesn’t become too dear; your army’s weakness is well known here in Commorragh. My people see an opportunity for sport and I can hardly deny them.” Click “Your people choose their sport poorly. Our warhost is bloodied, not broken.” Click “My dear Eldrad, you misunderstand. My concern is for your home, left behind without an army to protect it.” A smile tugged at the corner of Vect’s mouth. “The history of Ulthwé is so full of tragedy; I would hate to see it added to.” Click “There are other forces that could defend Ulthwé.” Click “Other forces? I know of none, except… oh!”  Vect leaned forwards sharply and gestured at the board. “You were right, old friend! Your citadel can yet be saved - you need only sacrifice your priestess.” There it was. The trap within the trap. The only army that could protect Ulthwé was the one guarding Yvraine; the prophet of Ynnead and the most dangerous of Vect’s enemies. Eldrad sat in silence for a long while, pondering the game, before finally speaking again. “It is a fine strategy, Asdrubael. It does, however, contain a flaw.” Vect smiled indulgently, relaxing into his throne and sipping his wine. “Please, dear friend, enlighten me.” For the first time Eldrad raised his head and looked Vect in the eye. “It’s not my priestess I need to sacrifice.” Click “Oh come now, can you not be gracious in-” Vect’s smile froze as he looked at the board. Eldrad’s champion had moved to defend his citadel, just as Vect had planned… but instead of the priestess, the piece it had left undefended was a grinning jester. “I’m afraid the harlequins have had a little fun at your expense,” Eldrad murmured. “Yvraine - the real Yvraine - is already beyond your grasp.” For the briefest moment Eldrad felt his opponent’s anger blaze, white-hot and lethal - and then suddenly it was gone, smothered under an icy calm that was no less dangerous. “I suppose I must salute you. I am not often so… misinformed. You are wrong about one thing though, old friend.”  Vect leaned forwards, his dark, predatory gaze fixed on Eldrad.  “Nothing is beyond my grasp.” Click

[saltynags]

Still here despite the horrors, and now I have a tablet with a SCREEN. 4am sketch while figuring out how to use this tablet.

[kabewski]

Happy Miku Day! I for one welcome the mikupocalypse

[toxic-stargod-apologist]

Some GW artist saw this and now we're getting a book about necron Miku:

[cursed-40k-thoughts]

what's the deal with the golden throne is it actually gonna blow up or is that youtube slop

It’s slowly failing, with a predicted maximum remaining lifespan of 200 years. It requires maintenance, but the Imperium isn’t technologically adept enough to do it.

It won’t blow up. That’s hyperbolic nonsense. If it failed, it would just fail. It’d switch off and take the astronomican with it, at which point Terra would be engulfed by warp storms and such.

[superoffbatter]

when the throne fails, the springs underneath the seat will burst free as the Emperor's psychic powers fail, throwing the Emperor's skeletal body upwards and causing it to slam into the roof. afterward all his bones will fall all over the room, with the event producing a sound bizarrely similar to someone playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in a xylophone.

[toxic-stargod-apologist]

So that's what the harlequins were doing when they broke in to the imperial palace...

[cursed-40k-thoughts]

I've been gently vibrating ever since the new necron book got announced, especially since it's about one of the most under-explored subfactions in the triarch praetorians. I just need to know; is Jonathan D Beer a good author?

Beer is pretty new to Black Library, so I can’t really give a concise answer to that. The two of his novels I’ve read (King of the Spoil and Dominion Genesis) are overall solid books with somewhat weak final acts. I think he has promise, but could also be hamstrung by what is likely a shorter format novel. His writing style seems to enjoy lots of descriptors and exploratory elements that lend more strongly to longer works.

I don’t think it’s going to be a Crowley/Rath-tier Necron read, but I don’t think it’s going to be bad, either. At least, I hope not. After the Silent King novel being so mediocre, we need a non-shit Necron book.

[toxic-stargod-apologist]

Fine by me. I feel like we necron fans have been spoiled by the quality of our books, so I won't complain about one that's just alright.

[askrobouteguilliman40k]

Check it out

.... Fuck you GW, you explained a cool mystery and ruined it.

*goes and looks at T'au ladies till he feels better.*

[shadow-of-iybraesil]

What is actually going on with the en-shittification of 40k and 40k lore

[toxic-stargod-apologist]

Are they... are they doing this on purpose? Did the female custodes thing give them so much free publicity that now they try to fit controversial lore into every book? Are they about to reveal that Vect secretly funds an orphanage or something?

[cursed-40k-thoughts]

Buri hunts Nids for revenge.

Nids hunt Buri for closure

Things the Hive Mind hates:

Blood Angels, Szarekh, Octarius Orks, that one little shit that keeps punching his way out of Tyranids

[toxic-stargod-apologist]

I need a narrative event where the swarmlord beats Guilliman, Abaddon, Eldrad, Ghaz and the Silent King, and then just as Terra is about to be consumed Buri Aegnirssen shows up like:

[toxic-stargod-apologist]

My latest and greatest kitbash, an exodite wraithblade squad (who will be proxing for a Ravener kill team). I'm really proud of these guys; it's more green stuff work than I've ever done before, and they look so close to what I was picturing when I started.