Adult Female.

Hot.

[jennilah]

went to see if my late package maybe showed up without being scanned

[jennilah]

but the post man yesterday said it would be here at ooooooooooone

[jennilah]

is 9…………. post office closing time…….  no pkg……………………………………………………… >:C

[jennilah]

well at least i can skip my post office visit tomorrow

[jennilah]

i mean what did i expect really

a package?

too unrealistic

[jennilah]

amazon sent me a replacement for my lost package and it “arrived” today

[jennilah]

omg she recognized me immediately and got nervous with me while checking the system using my name

she was just as distraught as me when it turned up “arriving tomorrow” again but then she had another idea

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[whitachi]

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

[araceil]

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

[ofchaosgoddess]

help I’m having ideas beyond my available free time

[nothereforthedrama]

help I'm having ideas beyond my available energy levels

[aromanticduck]

Free service with ads: Well, if I'm not paying for it they have to foot the bill somehow.

Paid service with no ads: Well, if they're not funding it with ad revenue, they need to charge us something.

Paid service with ads: Well that's bullshit.

"We used to be a paid service without ads, but now we're putting ads in it! If you want the ad-free version you have to pay more for preeeeemium": Fuck you fuck you fuck you

[burgerdotcom]

reblogs were off

[dogpuppy]

[madcaker]

[bodhi-devotee]

“you’re such a ray of sunshine!” thanks! one day i chose to act happy and then i kept choosing it over and over and over and over until the neurological pathways formed like desire paths in the thicket. i dug and clawed my nails into the grooves of my brain and carved out joy. i retouch it every day.

[chutzpahchesed]

theresherhymes:

I watched Mamdani's video last night, and I honestly haven't been able to stop thinking about it.

I'm scared.

I don't think people understand what it feels like to watch an elected American leader speak about the Jewish state the way he did, repeating some of the worst accusations imaginable as if they're simply accepted truth.

History didn't start with violence.

It started with people believing libels and conspiracies about Jews.

The Nazis convinced people that Jews were a racial threat. Today, I see people convinced that the Jewish state represents a unique moral evil. Those ideas don't stay confined to Israel. They shape how people see Jews.

That's what scares me.

I have kids. I never thought I'd look at the world they're growing up in and wonder if history is starting to rhyme in ways I never imagined I'd see in America.

Maybe that's hard for some people to understand. But for Jews, it's impossible to ignore.

This isn't the kind of fear you just talk yourself out of. It's the kind that settles in your stomach because you've spent your whole life learning how quickly hatred can spread once people become convinced that Jews are uniquely evil.

[purr-in-ink]

[terpsikeraunos]

ancient greek word of the day: κακοθερής (kakotherēs), unfitted to endure summer heat

[aphilologicalbatman-deactivated]

this literally means “bad at summer” pass it on

[zipstick]

Reblog if you, too, are bad at summer

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[memewhore]

[fairycosmos]

i hate how they market alexa as a ‘member of the family’ like that’s SO fucking blatantly insidious and terrifying also if i wanted an untrustworthy/cold/emotionless machine in my life i’d just talk to my fuckin father 

[angelshake]

[ororomunroedontpullout]

“Guys stop bullying my wiretap”

[millerkoth]

[jetlaggingbehind]

#did we all collectively forget why Big Brother was called that

[lastoneout]

Sorry we really went from free the nipple, take back the night, slut walks, and ending gender/sex segregation in sports being fucking milquetoast feminism 101 concepts to fucking girl dinner and "I just worry about fairness if we let trans girls play against cis ones" and "it was right of that woman to call the cops on a black man for existing near here in public during the day time because men are all violent monsters" and "radical feminism isn't transphobic we just need to kill all men including trans ones those oppressive traitors" and I will legit never be able to be normal about it. What the FUCK happened. I'd say I wonder what the feminists of my youth would say about this but I'm one and lemme tell ya I want to throw up. Go fucking read bell hooks or do something else useful please because all of this learned helplessness, gender essentialism, and transphobia dressed up as feminism is actively holding us back.

[myrandomstuffpage]

New York City becomes first in the US to ban deceptive subscription practices

Rule from Mamdani administration bans companies from trapping customers into paying recurring charges and ‘junk fees’

Dear old guard democrats, this is how you do it.

[mariacallous]

Federal Trade Commission Announces Final “Click-to-Cancel” Rule Making It Easier for Consumers to End Recurring Subscriptions and Membership

The Federal Trade Commission today announced a

It’s Time for Congress to Codify Biden-Era FTC’s Click-to-Cancel Rule - It’s Time for Congress to Codify Biden-Era FTC’s Click-to-Cancel Rul

Following the introduction of the “Click to Cancel Act” from Representatives Chris Deluzio (PA-17), Brad Sherman (CA-32), and Congressman Se

[short-wooloo]

#obsessed with this word for word copy of a Biden era policy being touted as New because The Hot Guy Did It#this is the fifth time by my count that something that was in motion before he assumed office was credited directly to him#how long until people start crediting him with even older laws?#did you know Mamdani took lead out of the gasoline? Dems take notes!!!

[prismatic-bell]

These twats four years ago: BIDEN DOESN'T DO ANYTHING!!!

These twats now: OMG MAMDANI SHITS RAINBOWS AND FARTS GLITTER NOBODY ELSE HAS EVER DONE THIS EVER (Biden did all of it)

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

[brothermouse-skeleton]

"Gandalf, buddy? What have you got there?"

"Oh him? That my emotional support hobbit."

"Uh huh. And what he got?"

"That's my hobbit's emotional support hobbit."

"And I suppose those two are also emotional support hobbits as well?"

"No, of course not. Those two are my emotional distress hobbits."

".....?"

"Keeps me on my toes."

[my-dailydreams]

[toxicninjapenguin]

Some also choose to use not just as a spellcasting focus but also as a weapon.