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@traderjoe72
Sorry feminists, but it is true - we need men
Thank you.
She gets it.
I….I….I love her.
Thank you! If you raise little boys right they go from this,
to this,
A repost… fact!
I’M proud to be a man
Listen, Stop and Think About This………. Believe!
I am proud to be a man
Absofinglutely !!! ♥️💪🏻💙👠👠💋
Holy fuck… I’ll tag it later
Spotting a Narcissist
There are a lot of lists on Tumblr for spotting a bad Dom (some of whom likely are narcs) and those lists are amazing! Follow them! This isn’t to replace those, but rather to add to them. This is what I’ve learned from my own experience and research. Please feel free to add to it. The more info out there the better. (FYI, while statistically there are more male narcs than female… there are PLENTY of female narcs. While I may use the male pronoun it should NOT imply that these things shouldn’t be looked for in women also)
1. The first thing I watch for are unwarranted compliments. A narc knows the right thing to say to draw someone in. However they don’t put thoughts into those words. So if a man says “You’re so intelligent.” and he hasn’t known you long enough or well enough to make a legitimate judgement on your intelligence… beware. If you’re uncertain still, ask why he thinks that. Listen to your body and your instincts as much as you do his answer. “I can just tell.” is not an acceptable answer. RUN!! If he has a good answer, but you feel on edge… run. Analyze it later, but trust your instincts in the moment. What you’re looking for is a real life example. Maybe you didn’t think he could know how smart you are, but his answer is something about your vocabulary or a topic you briefly mentioned. That is warranted and so far so good.
2. When a man calls his ex crazy, it should be a red flag. Sometimes.. there really is a legitimate crazy ex, but pay attention. If every ex was crazy and or cheated, or if his parents are also crazy… a narc declares just about everyone who doesn’t fall in line for them, crazy. A narc rarely has anyone that they are very close to. If all his friends seem to be more acquaintances that can be a red flag. However you should also be aware of the flying monkeys. These are people currently being fooled by the narc. They often will do their bidding. Spreading their lies, (Often without realizing they are lies) boosting their ego, catering to their whims. Narcs are often very charming and people often want to do things for them. So there will likely be people in their life. It’s the claim that everyone they seem to have had a falling out with is crazy, and the fallout was entirely the other person’s fault. (Saying all his ex’s have cheated is another version of this that should be noted)
3. Blame shifting. When everything is someone else’s fault.. huge red flag. Sometimes a person really can fall on hard times. Sometimes things happen to us that are legitimately out of our control. But if he didn’t finish college because of his parents, and he didn’t get that last promotion because Joe is a brown noser, and he would be a millionaire if he had sued the one guy who had done him wrong, and he doesn’t have credit because of his parents, and he would own his own home if his grandma didn’t screw him out of his inheritance… (I’ve heard most of these verbatim… from the same person) Any one or 2 of these can be legit. (some more so than others) It’s when there is an overwhelming amount that you should turn tail and run. When he has given a list like this and not accepted any real responsibility for any of it, run fast and far.
4. Arrogance. There is a difference between being confident and being conceited. This, or lack of this, should be viewed carefully though. Not all narcs are the same. There is the Hollywood version (which while a tad extreme is very real) which is overt, but there are also covert narcs. Those 2 categories have sub categories and it does tend to be a spectrum. So while arrogance can be easy to spot and set off warning bells, also look for the extreme opposite. Again.. look for the extreme. Someone so incredibly humble it seems unbelievable. These are things to look for in the early stages of getting to know someone, but it is possible to still miss this one, since it is a spectrum thing. It falls back to trust your gut and look for any other red flag to go with it.
5. How they treat others. Again this can go both ways. Look for the intention behind the action. A guy who treats the waitress like dirt should be obvious. That is on lots of lists out there. The covert narc will treat her amazing though. A huge tip, offers to help her if he can, go out of his way to be nice… seems great right. If he is doing this because that’s the kind of guy he is.. that’s amazing and awesome. All kinds of wonderful. If he is doing this because he wants the brownie points and gets all giddy at the attention you give over it. Warning bell. If you think about it, you’ll realize he’s trying a little too hard to come across as sincere and genuine.
6. Say no to something and see how he responds. Don’t give a reason, don’t be timid or overly bold.. just a simple no. Narcs typically do not like no and will often posture. If he seems to either go on the defensive or offensive beware. A common tactic they use in this case is manipulation. They may say something to tug at your heart strings, or make you feel guilty or wrong for the no. If you say no and it is anything but honored… RUN!!!! Not even kidding.. RUN!
7. If they seem to have a long stream of short term jobs, this can be a red flag. You’ll have to make a judgement call depending on the career and what else you’re seeing, but if he can’t stay anywhere longer than a year, it’s a sign there could be a problem. Listen to the reason why he is job hopping. What you don’t want to hear is everyone is crazy and did them wrong. A better answer was, I intended to stay at this job, but then had an amazing offer elsewhere. Took the job not realizing what a nightmare the commute would be. I wouldn’t have left, but Mom was sick and I needed to relocate so I could help her after her heart attack. If there is a crazy person at a job or 2 interweaved in there it isn’t a big deal. We’ve all had crazy co-workers.
8. Entitlement. There are things we all deserve. We are all entitled to be treated as human beings. We are entitled to have our boundaries respected. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness right? We are not entitled to cars, homes, money, a certain lifestyle etc. Those things are earned. You go out, you work hard and there is a payoff for the hard work you do. Life can hammer us sometimes, but no one is entitled to a boat or a motorcycle. You’re parents don’t owe you a car. If they bought your brother one, it may be unfair, but that still doesn’t equal entitlement. If it seems like everyone owes him something.. big red flag.
9. Excuses. This goes hand in hand with a few of the others, but I thought it should be separate. A narc has an excuse for EVERYTHING. No amount of fact or proof will deter them from their version of reality. Some of the excuses I heard from my ex husband would make your head spin. If you try to offer a little advice and no matter how you try to problem solve with them, there is an excuse that won’t work. Be very leery. Some things in our lives can’t be helped, but if you’re giving solid advice and it feels like nothing you say matters… look for the other signs to go with it.
10. How you feel when in their presence. If you find yourself feeling insecure and unsure of yourself, those aren’t butterflies. That’s your gut instinct saying something isn’t right. If it feels like, he is so smart, and you wonder if you can keep up with his intelligence, that is a bad sign. Some people legitimately are smarter than others, so look for other ways you’re questioning yourself. Also, people who are intelligent, don’t need to make others feel less intelligent. It’s easy to think that issue must be with us. But pay attention to what exactly is giving you that feeling. They can be very subtle in tearing others down. Narcs have a way of making others feel in awe of them. Not every inspiring person is a narc, but again.. go with your gut.
11. Emotional vampire. Have you ever been around someone and as soon as they are gone you always feel exhausted? Narcs are exhausting. They soak up the energy in a room. If you’ve been in someone’s presence 3 times, and all 3 times you’ve left feeling drained. That’s a bad sign.
12. The conversation always winds up back on them and what they want. You’ll see on many lists to look for someone who always steers the conversation back to sex. That is a red flag, but I’m going to take it a little further. If they only seem to allow you an opportunity to talk because that’s expected, but quickly turn back to themselves. Even if it isn’t about sex, that is a red flag. We all share our experiences when getting to know someone. Others can’t learn about us if we aren’t talking about ourselves. Most people will also ask questions about others though. What things do you like? Why are you passionate about that? How did you get into that? There should be normal give and take in a conversation.
I could probably write more, this is an important topic to me and something I think should be discussed at great length. The more awareness, the easier it is to stay safe. Not every narc is violent, but they are all abusive.
This is something ongoing for me. I am continuing to learn and grow. I am by no means an expert, and I still struggle at times with applying this. Mostly I struggle with second guessing myself, but I have learned to go with my gut in the moment. It’s important to analyze later, it will help you strengthen the skills, and typing out this list is another tool I’m using. If you are currently in a relationship with a narc.. there is no changing him. Things will not get better. There is no pill he can take that is going to make him want to not be an asshole. By whatever means necessary leave. If that means a homeless shelter and government assistance, do it and don’t think twice. You are precious and deserve to be treated like a human being. You are not crazy. (If you are it’s reaction based) It is not in your head, you are stronger than you realize and you will never regret the peace you find when it is finally over. (I know you are stronger than you realize, because you have survived)
What SHOULD I Look For In A Dominant?
There are a lot of post out there about red flags and things to avoid when looking for a Dominant. I know I’ve written more than one myself. But it got me to thinking about the flip side to that equation, which of course is what should you be looking for? I’ve been asked this question a lot, and while it’s easy to say, just the opposite of what the red flags are, I thought it would be helpful to write a little something.
Perhaps other people have their own ideas about important characteristics, but these are the things that are important to me.
Patience- Look for a Dom who is willing to build a relationship and doesn’t expect to materialize one from thin air simple because you are a submissive and they are a Dominant. They should also show patience with you, and a willingness to wait until they have earned your devotion and trust. You shouldn’t feel as if you’re being dragged along by their wants and demands. A man like this is unlikely to engage you sexually on a first date. (Yes, there are exceptions)
Reliability- Can you depend on him? When he says that he will do X thing, does he take concrete steps or is it just words? He says he’ll be there for you when you need him, does he call when he knows you have a big interview, or check on you when you’re sick without your having to pick up the phone first? Do you feel you can depend on him?
Integrity- He says he values family, does he take the time to see and call his own? Men with integrity hold to their moral principles even to the detriment of their own comfort. Take humility for example. If he is someone who agrees a Dom sometimes needs to be humble, then you should watch and see what happens when he makes a mistake. Is he quicker to apologize than he is to provide excuses?
Honesty- This should go without saying, but sadly it doesn’t. Those little white lies are very telling. A man who values honesty has no place for them. You won’t find him making up some story about why he was late for your date because his character is more important to him than saving a little face. These small truths or lies tell the story of a person who is either comfortable, or uncomfortable, with dishonesty.
Transparency/A willingness to explain- The whole “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain,” thing is best left in The Wizard of Oz. A great Dom will be open about his process, because he has your best interest at heart. Most especially during vetting he should be more than willing to explain his reasoning. It’s a great way to build trust. This doesn’t mean he’ll owe you an explanation for every order until the end of time, but his transparency during vetting is very telling.
Calmness- A great Dom is cool under pressure. He behaves rationally in crisis and is quick to find solutions. You’ll notice his focus under pressure is on how you’re doing, and on what step to take next. He doesn’t need to raise his voice to feel heard, and when you do something like forget to call his default is concern and not anger.
Willingness to learn- Adaptability and enough humility to know that no man is an island is very important. He will fuck up. (So will you.) His willingness to change his behaviors based on new information, and to grow as a person are very telling. How does he react to a controversial blog post you show him? Does he shut it down immediately? A Dom who is thoughtful and open to learning will have a valid and well thought reason if he does.
An interest in YOU- Look for someone who wants to know about you. This is after all, first and foremost, a relationship. He should show an interest in your hobbies, your family, and your favorite books/films. All the things a normal love interest would. It’s probably a good sign if he knows where you went to college before he knows if you enjoy anal.
Consistency- You’ll note that many of these things are traits you can only see develop over time. You couldn’t possibly know them for sure after a week of talking with someone. You need to see them face adversity and show consistency over time in order to know their true metal. (Yeah, that means you can’t rush the process) Do these characteristics go out the window when things are stressful, or emotional, or are they integral parts of who this person is?
Vetting is an intimidating process. Often we feel eager for that secure feeling of being cared for and that can muddy a submissive’s judgement. Time, time, and more time. Someone worth waiting for won’t mind the wait.
EDIT: I want to say, in response to some comments that have been made, that YES these characteristics are the same as any other relationship. It also reminded me that there is one characteristic exclusive to Doms that I failed to include:
Desire to Lead- Does he take on opportunities to decide? A man who craves leadership takes on decisions easily, and without sign that they are burdensome. He has no trouble choosing a movie, deciding where to eat, or telling you which dress he likes best. He enjoys when you respond positively to his decisions, and while he never pushes his opinions on you when you have no formal relationship, he is quick to offer them when you ask.
What is dominance and submission?
Today in a BDsM Kik group the topic of the day seemed simple enough. What is submission? What is dominance? I have spent most of the afternoon and early evening editing, adding and expanding on my original thoughts.
Submission is what we do, not who we are.
Submission is TRUST.
Submission is a gift.
Submission means following.
Submission is letting go.
Submission is strong.
Submission allows one to let go of all of their troubles and know the dominant will take the reins and guide them.
Submission is service.
Submission is ever growing and blooming. In our submission we should never be stagnant. We should keep learning, growing and blooming.
Submission means releasing. Releasing our fears. Releasing our insecurities.
Submission means communication. Open, transparent honest communication.
Submission is loving, grateful and thankful.
Submission is focus, and mindfulness.
Submission means something different to each and everyone of us. But one thing we all agree on is that submission is beautiful.
Dominance is confident.
Dominance leads.
Dominance is quiet. Like a whisper or the touch of the hand on the lower back.
Dominance is guiding, teaching.
Dominance is kind.
Dominance is understanding.
Dominance is consistent.
Dominance is communication. Open, honest, transparent communication. Dominance means putting someone else first.
Dominance means care giving.
Dominance means taking on someone else’s burdens.
Dominance means being there, being available. Dominance means acceptance. Dominance means loving, grateful and thankful
Dominance is humble.
Dominance is grateful and thankful.
Part 2: Dominance and submission mean many things to everyone. But what are they not?
Submission is not weak.
Submission is not a doormat.
Submission cannot be forced.
Submission cannot be TAKEN.
Submission is not blind or deaf.
Submission is not easy.
Submission is not a game. Submission is not given easily.
Submission is not about sex.
Dominance is not controlling.
Dominance is not abusive.
Dominance is not domineering.
Dominance is not loud, cruel, unyielding.
Dominance is not loud.
Dominance is not a game.
Dominance is not narcissistic.
Dominance is not easy.
Dominance is not about sex.
Someone in the group compared D/s with a dance. I have to agree. Dancing with your partner can be graceful, beautiful and intimate. But the dance does not start out that way. We have to learn from one another. Learn how we each move and sway. And there is one lead. Dominance means leading. Submission means we follow. But one thing I truly believe in. We are equal on both sides of the slash. Because without the other, we cannot dance.
Source: 1 2 3 4 5 6 If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts
THIS IS SO IMPORTANT
Reblogging because I care about you guys
Important
Rohypnol has an INCREDIBLY salty taste to it. It’s disgusting. And it also isn’t a drug that acts immediately! The minute you notice the salty taste, you have about 5-10 minutes to get somewhere safe or call an ambulance, and it CAN be fought if you’re aware of it. It will make you woozy, it will make you so dizzy you can’t stand upright, it will certainly make you unable to walk properly, but if you struggle to remain conscious you can get about 20 extra minutes of consciousness from the drug before it will knock you out completely. If you’re in a public place, and the person who drugged you is trying to take you somewhere private, start. a. fight. Insist as LOUDLY and as VIOLENTLY as you can that you refuse to go anywhere with them. Odds are they’re trying to make as little of a scene as possible as they drag you away, and if you’re putting up a fight and very clearly ‘drunk’, eyes will turn on them and they’ll either need to let you go, or cause a serious scene, which they don’t want. Don’t just act like you’re just protesting being taken home, though. Fight like your life depends on it even if they aren’t assaulting you. Cause. A. Scene. That’s the last thing they want.
Everyone should reblog this!
Advice from an 80 year old man
1. Have a firm handshake. 2. Look people in the eye. 3. Sing in the shower. 4. Own a great stereo system. 5. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard. 6. Keep secrets. 7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday. 8. Always accept an outstretched hand. 9. Be brave. Even if you’re not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference. 10. Whistle. 11. Avoid sarcastic remarks. 12. Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery. 13. Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out. 14. Lend only those books you never care to see again. 15. Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have. 16. When playing games with children, let them win. 17. Give people a second chance, but not a third. 18. Be romantic. 19. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know. 20. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems. 21. Don’t allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It’s there for our convenience, not the caller’s. 22. Be a good loser. 23. Be a good winner. 24. Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret. 25. When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go. 26. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born. 27. Keep it simple. 28. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose. 29. Don’t burn bridges. You’ll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river. 30. Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets 31. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did. 32. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them. 33. Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you. 34. Take charge of your attitude. Don’t let someone else choose it for you. 35. Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes. 36. Begin each day with some of your favourite music. 37. Once in a while, take the scenic route. 38. Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, ‘Someone who thinks you’re terrific.’ 39. Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice. 40. Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m. 41. Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job. 42. Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later. 43. Make someone’s day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you. 44. Become someone’s hero. 45. Marry only for love. 46. Count your blessings. 47. Compliment the meal when you’re a guest in someone’s home. 48. Wave at the children on a school bus. 49. Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people. 50. Don’t expect life to be fair
Goodbye Tumblr
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Thanks!
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Like a lot of you, I’m really sad to see Tumblr change it’s policy, wiping out a huge part of our community. We’re seeking interest in an alternate platform, that we would develop, as a landing place for this content and our community.
If you’d like to see another option, please visit qink.co and let us know.
And please help us get more visibility on this by reposting. Thank you!
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reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)
OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.
THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.
The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.
AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.
THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.
YOOOOOOO
I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS
LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL
IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS
holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS.
I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT
SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP
WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????
ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE
THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.
GUYS.
HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER
20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.
GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.
I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.
OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG
i want you to stay for one day and one nigh with me and give me sp much love i dont have to cry of lonliness tonight, every night
no bUT THE LAST TIME I DID THIS SHIT I WISHED MEETING MY IDOL AND IT WAS RIGHT BEFORE I FCKING GOT THE FCKING EMAIL SAYING I WAS GOING TO MEET TAYLOR OH MY GOD
GUYS IM NOT FUCKING KIDDING WHEN I SAY THIS POST WILL MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE. I APPLIED FOR AN EXTREMELY COMPETITIVE GERMAN EXCHANGE PROGRAM, AND GUESS WHAT? YA BITCH IS NOW GOING TO GERMANY FOR A YEAR FOR FREEEEEEEE <3
Please let pxnk-powder live.
x x x
Why not?
I was barely legal here. Reblog if you want my barely legal nudes. Maybe even younger ones 😈
Who wants to Snapchat? 💋
💜 rebolg or share me n ill send you my username! 💜
Reblog this if you want to get spun and fuck all night
Let’s have some fun 😊
I’ll send nudes to whoever reblogs this 🍫💦
everyone who reblogs will get a nude in their inbox 💕
Important!! Pls read and be a part!
I have a bet with my with my mom. She sayed to me if this post will get over 1.000 likes, she will 100% let me post her phone number. So YOU can chat and then fuck her!
No jokes. It depends on you and your like.
I will post a nude and her number for over 1k likes on this post. Promise
