Trailer Park Problems

I am a landlord. Of a trailer park.

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Scrooge to Gangster to I hate myself

Tenants came through with a cashiers check from the boyfriend. I have no problem with sugar daddies, I’m just not sure how to run that through the approval process. 

Is he credit worthy? Is your relationship credit worthy? Basically I think in the future (because this isn’t the first time) sugar daddy needs to be on the lease so he can be responsible for evictions. 

Anyway, you feel like Scrooge getting blood out of a turnip.

Then you get the blood and you’re like “Damn, it feels good to be a gangster.” 

And then you feel like a piece of shit human being for demanding to be paid what someone agreed to pay you in exchange for living in the housing you busted your ass to buy or make nice.

Not fun. Need to continue to work on tenants who don’t make me think or have feelings, just give me checks to cash.

[trailerparkproblems]

Follow your instincts...

Or you wouldn’t have to serve eviction papers two weeks before Christmas.

It all started when they moved in and were $210 short of rent for November. And then had such! confusing! problems! getting the power in their name. 

December 5th. 

Landlord: Will you guys have rent today? After 10 pm on the fifth there is a late fee, plus there is still $210 left from the first month, and the power bill was $48.98.

Tenant: I was laid off last week. I’m trying to get an advance loan on my taxes. I should have it Monday (12/7). Soon as I have it I will pay u all of what I owe plus late fees. I am supposed to start <frequent temp services employer> Tuesday morning. Sorry for the inconvenience.

December 10th. 

Landlord: Just checking in on your rent payment. 

Tenant: I am working on it. I should have money for you Monday (12/14).

That’s cool. Well, not really, but I’ll take it. However, when I look at her facebook page and see her taking off to Florida to visit her boyfriend, uhm, not so much.

Eviction notices give them 5 days, so I deliver an eviction notice on December 10th and I can file on December 15th at a cost of about $150, which can be added on to the judgement. Enforcing the eviction is another ~$40. But she’s totally going to pay me on Monday so this isn’t going to have to go to court, right? 

Yeah right.

December 11th. She’s going to "do a check” and just needs to know exact amount (as in, the amount on the papers I delivered) and how to spell my last name.

December 14.

Tenant: I have a $500 cashiers check. And I am gona do 300 on my credit card. Is it possible to owe u just $43.98 just until Friday (12/18). I start my new job tomorrow and will have a check Friday. 

Did I mention they have very little heating fuel left in their tank and will need to pay a couple hundred for a refill of that and if they don’t then MY pipes will be struggling? Luckily almost the entire trailer has been replumbed with pex which is significantly less likely to bust but I shouldn’t have to worry about these things, or about when they’ll pay rent, or deciding whether to be nice and get stepped all over 10 days before Christmas. 

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Septic problems

If in January, before you evict some people, their neighbors on the same septic tank have issues, yet the evictees declare they don’t have a single problem.

And if, upon kicking them out, you’re surprised to see their basically clean toilet...

Just be really careful handling the 5 gallon buckets of “dirt” behind their trailer 6 months later.

[trailerparkproblems]

Mark Hogancamp, the Artist as (Imagined) War Hero

The creator of Marwencol, a fantasy world populated by dolls, has built up and documented it even more, with a gallery show in SoHo.

THIS ART TAKES PLACE IN A TRAILER PARK.

Wonder what his landlord thinks?

[trailerparkproblems]

Not my park. But I wish it was.

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Yeah... No, no it's not actually available. Using is one thing. Being dumb enough to post it all over social media where anyone can see? Special kind of stupid.

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The tenants… They eliminate themselves…

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Why you shouldn't be friends with your landlord on facebook...

Their choice, not mine.

So here we are August 11th and you haven’t paid your rent which was due on the 1st. But this weekend you posted on FB about going to see a movie, which was the 2 adults + 1 child = 33.75… only 30% of your lot rent, it’s cool. Just as cool as seeing your vehicle parked at the local bar for some Saturday day drinking, makes sense to me. 

7 lots rented, 5 in good standing. I’m coming for you. 

[whitewhine-blog]

So let me get this straight: You want me to PAY the FULL RENT, even though I’m going on vacation for a while? What kind of scam you running here, huh?

[trailerparkproblems]

Sounds about right. Thankfully my tenants tend to not be the spoiled types.

[trailerparkproblems]

Insurance on my newest rental property is $114. A year.

The implication of that is with a $500 deductible the former tenants could have fixed up their home and sold it for at least a few grand. If only they’d had insurance.

Nevermind the offers they got to fix it up for the cost of materials only. I bought materials for $420.

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Priceless is...

Calling the power company to set up power in your name and finding out that the tenants never had power in their own names to start with.

[trailerparkproblems]

Security deposit

Two tenants who got served eviction notices think they need to get their security deposit back.

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"We had to leave some stuff behind we just didn’t have anywhere for it to go."

On the plus side, I scored a like new 8' table, a newer chest freezer, a fancy kitchen garbage can, and a handful of items to donate.

[trailerparkproblems]

Status

4 tenants who owed back rent

1 tenant who gave me their trailer title and cash that won’t even buy a tank of gas… Payments promised but I’m sure I’ll have to go to court.

1 tenant who claims full payment tomorrow

1 tenant moved out, and forgot to take their trailer, will have to go to court

1 tenant who needs evicted, ready to file for eviction

Not bad for about 2 weeks worth of work.