mr hollywood

johnny | university of texas at austin

[scrambled-greggs]

gifs for when you need to do it to em

[bluehairedspidey]

me: *says something funny*

friend: asdfklygtfrdsxcvgh

me:

[cashiercomplaints]

[champagnemanagement]

[cybercrimer]

[cybercrimer]

[kh-music]

Visit Original Link

[frozenspots]

huggable boy!..

[trainerjohnny-blog]

11:30PM May 6th, 2018

so it’s been two months since I met Kyle, and it still feels so surreal. Taking a step back and looking at things, it’s real easy to notice how messed up life’s been.

I met Kyle in the beginning of March. I learned things from my relationship with Jason that I pretty much used for this relationship. I made more of an effort to text, hang out, and not JUST have sex. There were times when I’d see Kyle like three times a week with our dates lasting like 5-7 hours long. I slept over a handful of times, and I just felt so comfortable.

After watching “After Us” from Wong Fu, one of the phrases that really stuck out to me was like “I don’t know if I miss him or just miss having him”. Carlie, I feel you girl. Watching your short film was really relatable and heart wrenching.

When Kyle texted me that Friday, I just broke down completely. I regret not trusting my gut and believing myself sooner. Guys, I can’t begin to talk about how angry and painful that time was. I never cried like that in my life. It was like grief had completely consumed me and my life turned bleak.

The last time I had a good cry was about Sunday, two weeks ago. It was just like the first time: emotional and physically damaging. God, like I understand what it means to go numb from feeling now. I understand how people can be so vengeful and filled with bitterness and hate. I swear, I could have just exploded during those times.

I let go on that Sunday, but it’s still haunting me. I see and hear things that make me remember the good times, and it just reminds me of loss. Fuck, I wish I knew why this keeps happening

[trainerjohnny-blog]

8:40AM February 26th, 2018

i feel like death 

a list: -make a list to calm yourself and think about stuff you need to do -HHz officer meeting -read and learn (lol) LEB for thursday’s exam -book parking spot for Mexico City trip -review and learn stats because i have no fucking clue what’s happening -get a haircut -look at cute clothes for stress buying -do marketing article summary (double points than regular this time) -take out bathroom trash -do perusal readings cause that’s 5% of your stats grade -“Passion and drive are not the same at all. Passion pulls you toward something you cannot resist. Drive pushes you toward something you feel compelled or obligated to do. If you know nothing about yourself, you can’t tell the difference.” -truvada is making me feel nauseous?  -i had a rash thing before is that from the 

[officialshameimaru]

[thenatsdorf]

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[joseleprrr-deactivated20180405]

I’d like to be him

[trainerjohnny-blog]

A Moment With No Words

You brought the TV into your room. I always found it funny how you’d just transport it back and forth whenever we wanted to watch something in your room. I guess the flaw of being a budget friendly boy is only having one TV (or maybe not even having one at all)

We were watching Friends in the dark. I remember staring at you: thinking you were focused only on Netflix, thinking about how much I liked you, thinking about how beautiful and peaceful you looked. 

When you turned and looked at me, I couldn’t help but smile cause you caught me. My heart fluttered when you smiled back and kissed me. Everything felt perfect.

Too bad that’s all I really have left: a moment with no words.

[ellenaturel]

[trainerjohnny-blog]

“Kiss me.”

My heart skipped a beat when he answered the door. 

“Hey stud.” The words jumped out of my mouth like I was a kid who couldn’t hold in a secret.  I went in for a hug that shouldn’t have lasted as long as it did. I felt him smiling into my shoulder as he said, “I missed you.”

I took a small step back and stared at his face. A million and one thoughts were flying in and out of my mind.

Then… everything came to a stop when he cleared his throat, looked down, and licked his lips. “Um. Sorry you’re, uh, really close and I—” know exactly what you’re going to say. 

I got on my tiptoes, reached up, and whispered “Kiss me.” 

[trainerjohnny-blog]

Pros and Cons List of our Relationship Ending

Pros:

I didn’t have to deal with Austin traffic this morning because I didn’t sleep over

I can watch TV without someone cracking my knuckles

I don’t have to text you and make plans (meaning I can stay in and play video games)

Cons:

I loved sleeping over, waking up to your Spotify playlists whenever you went to shower, and driving back despite the traffic

I’ll never get to feel the electricity jolting down my body after you grab my hands and pop my joints again

I can’t enjoy my video games because I’m too distracted checking my phone, hoping you’d text me

[oceaniatropics]

Wooroonooran National Park, Queensland, Australia

[ruinedchildhood]

ME