I don't mask very well.

Come as you are. Neuro- atypical things, interesting things, medical things, drunk things. High functioning is NT word. This will get less interesting if I ever quit drinking.

[ziggyplayedd]

hey guys unpopular opinion but you’re not a bad person if you don’t care about every bad thing happening in the world all the time, or if you do care but you’re not constantly reblogging posts spreading awareness and information

it’s okay if you’re just on tumblr to have fun and reblog things you like or that make you happy.

humans aren’t made to process trauma and suffering on a worldwide scale without any breaks whatsoever & the internet has created an unprecedented access to bad news so please never feel guilty for scrolling past it because you can’t process it! and you’re not doing anything wrong & there’s no need to feel guilty

[farscapehome]

Farscape 2.19 Liars, Guns, and Money — A Not So Simple Plan

[tramontane-fire]

Research Roundup 2

This time focusing on the cytokine theory of depression.

Starting us off, an older study explains how sickness behaviors are very similar to depression, and can be induced by inflammatory cytokines.

More in-depth look at cytokines and depression. (full text on sci hub). High cytokine levels are found in patients with depression, especially treatment-resistant. Mentions that there may be genetic vulnerabilities, which would explain 1) my family and 2) me having depression sx from around age 4.

Shorter paper includes various things that reduce cytokines and oxidative stress in the context of exercise recovery.

Nice overview of the biology of depression, lacks anything actionable though. I do appreciate that they mention depression probably has a number of causes.

Lit review about depression and its link to dysfunction in brain cells called microglia. Notably, histamine is not mentioned in this or any of the above papers, but we do know that histamine triggers the release of inflammatory cytokines.

Histamine and depression, mentions the HPA axis and microglia. Depressed people often had abnormal histaminergic systems. Also mentions mast cell degranulation, however, this is apparently supposed to be a positive thing? They had success treating depression in mice with H3 antagonists, which are not available OTC, and one older H1 antagonist.

[boobookittenartblog]

Blackpoll Warbler, Townsend's Warbler, and Hooded Warbler

illustration by David Sibley

[socialistexan]

French-Iranian author Marjane Satrapi, author of 'Persepolis', dies of 'sadness' at 56

French-Iranian author and illustrator Marjane Satrapi, best known for the book and film “Persopolis”, has died of "sadness", members of her

This one hurt, her work had such a profound effect on my life, thoughts, and politics.

May her memory be a blessing

[tramontane-fire]

like ok the worst of the depression had me, on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the worst, existing at a 9. allergy pills took me right down to about a 2, with all the emotional whiplash that implies. now... it's about a 5? not life threatening but everything is awfully bleak and lonely.

obviously I didn't expect the pink cloud to last forever. I do kind of wish I hadn't wasted the time in medic school having mental breakdowns, possibly all for nothing.

before school started, I had about six weeks of heaven, and I'm so grateful. I thought I was going to die without feeling good ever again. I'm glad I got those wonderful weeks.

[tramontane-fire]

....I am still awake and I suspect the new anxiety medication is making me depressed...

[tramontane-fire]

today I was the kind of hungry that produce, whole grains, and lean protein can't fix, so I went and got some absolutely delicious Junk Food, which is currently sitting in my no longer hungry stomach like concrete and making me almost, almost wish I had made a wiser decision.

[trickstertime]

Huh? What's this?? Something is on this 5c coin???

ENHANCE

[avatarmerida]

Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum

[futurakid]

[leg-stealing-bee]

[closetedguyy]

[knitordeath]

This hands down the best comment in the notes, I will not be taking criticism.

[song-of-sea-and-sky]

happy pride month 2021 I ain’t quittin’ you…

[msue0027]

[maxstarfall]

[gengaritez]

[pumpkin--rabbit]

[minyicho]

[tramontane-fire]

what if I went on T? I am living in a flamingly liberal state (which after a couple years in magatowns is a real trip. Germ theory of disease is not controversial and no one hates you for eating veggie burgers). I could just, go to pp or an informed consent clinic and be like 1 testosterone please. Muscles, deep voice, hairy knuckles, that pulled- back hairline, more confidence...

The only downside is that if I switch to presenting masculine to the point of passing for a cis guy (which I could do), I might lose my social group, which is mostly women. Plus I worry that patients wouldn't feel as safe with a male paramedic.

[tramontane-fire]

The planned parenthood next county over offers hrt. Do I dare?

[tramontane-fire]

what if I went on T? I am living in a flamingly liberal state (which after a couple years in magatowns is a real trip. Germ theory of disease is not controversial and no one hates you for eating veggie burgers). I could just, go to pp or an informed consent clinic and be like 1 testosterone please. Muscles, deep voice, hairy knuckles, that pulled- back hairline, more confidence...

The only downside is that if I switch to presenting masculine to the point of passing for a cis guy (which I could do), I might lose my social group, which is mostly women. Plus I worry that patients wouldn't feel as safe with a male paramedic.

[prettycreepyprettycrawly]

The Xerces Blue (Glaucopsyche xerces) has been extinct since the 1940s; they used to live in the coastal meadows and sand dunes around San Francisco, before urban expansion and loss of habitat caused their decline. They are the namesake of the Xerces Society for Invertebrate Conservation.

[natalieironside]

All the corners from all the books and papers and other quadrangular objects that got snipped off w/ scissors by the prop crew of Battlestar Galactica were saved and stored in a secret government bunker for 20 years until Wal Mart found them and dug them up and processed them into t shirt fabric

[tragbarerpanzrabwehrkomplexfagot]

[dragonflavoredcake]

@brosser-les-dents

[brosser-les-dents]

Good on you, sir!

Remember to brush and floss!

[seat-safety-switch]

There's a law of the universe: as long as you have more than one person in a group, you will not be able to agree on where to eat. Sure, if you're among reasonable adults, someone will compromise, but that's not the same thing. Many a work friendship has been torn asunder because one person wanted shwarma and the other wanted that gross-ass greasy pizza that the place down the street sells. Scientists now believe they have found the reason, but they aren't telling.

Personally, while I am often particular about my foods, I consider myself to be pretty easy-going about the work lunch run. One stipulation is that I not drive. Although I love driving, it makes my coworkers upset when we are done eating and I have to get my car to work again.

Often, I have to either jump the dead battery in my car, wait for a vapour-locked fuel pump to cool down, or get them to "give it a little push" because the starter is dicked. That is just the nature of owning an old car when you do absolutely no maintenance to it, but somehow my coworkers refuse to accept this basic fact. Hence, there is still discord and strife, even though I was perfectly accommodating of their desire to eat shitty pizza for $17 a 12-inch pie are you kidding me.

By riding along with my coworkers, I receive many benefits in return. For one thing, I am freed of the cognitive load of listening for pinging or knocking from the engine. Many of my coworkers don't even know where the temperature gauge is, much less constantly watch it while inching through traffic. This is because their cars are less engaging, and often boring commuter vehicles that have no reason to burn the perfectly good gasoline I could otherwise be leaking onto the tarmac every time I park.

With this free mental state, I can catch up on the latest office gossip, which is sure to help enable me to achieve promotion. I find that often the gossip is about whichever of my regular lunching coworkers did not come to eat with us this time. Better off without them, they say, they don't even like pizza.

[souvenirs]

[spitfaggot]

happy birthday, gilbert baker. (june 2, 1951 — march 31, 2017)