I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.
Give yourself the treat before you start. I'm serious. And ideally during the task and afterwards too.
Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.
"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.
You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.
(Also read How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis)
I give my students a LOT of techniques for starting writing when it feels overwhelming or daunting, but one of them is exactly this: dopamine load BEFOREHAND. It may sound weird to people on tumblr dot com, but a lot of people seriously struggle with executive dysfunction when it comes to writing literally anything, to the extent that it can cause such symptoms as panic, depression, and AI chatbot use.
I usually suggest this technique as a "Reverse Pomodoro." In the original Pomodoro, you work for 25 minutes and then take a break for 5 minutes (the times vary, but that's the essential ratio). People with executive dysfunction often find this insurmountable, and they get even more frustrated, and then the task seems even more difficult. So instead, flip those times.
FIRST, spend 25 minutes doing something energizing and engaging that you like to do. Not scrolling social media passively, not watching tv, not napping. Try something like colouring, doing yoga, running/walking around the block, talking about your favourite tv show with someone in real time, playing with the dog or cat, making and eating a lovely sandwich, hula hooping, something active. Having a little treat absolutely falls in this category!
(on the subject of little treats: refusing yourself food until you do work is for fucking Puritans and you can be kinder to yourself)
Then, after 25 minutes (or however long it takes to eat the sandwich or finish the yoga routine, it doesn't have to be exact), spend 5 minutes writing (or doing whatever you're struggling to start). Most people can coax themselves into doing something they find difficult for five minutes, if they have already filled up the joy/energy/engagement bucket. You can put a timer on for the 5 minutes if you want, or if you find that annoying, just work for as long as you like.
The other key is: don't push yourself to keep going when you're frustrated or tired—that will just reinforce the negative belief that you already have, which tells you that this task is painful to do, and needs to be avoided. If you've commonly had to force yourself to do this kind of task, that's likely part of why you think of it as painful and have trouble starting it now. Also, you should just, at a basic level, try not to put yourself in pain for the sake of productivity. So just do it till the good feelings run out. Then start hula hooping or colouring again for another 25 minutes. When the tank's refilled, try another 5 minutes of work, if you can. Adjust times to taste.
Not every technique works for everyone, but I've seen this one work for many students who are genuinely and seriously disabled by executive dysfunction. And many people find themselves getting more and more excited and engaged in the "difficult" task—because the good feelings from the hula hooping carry over, and because they're suddenly able to do the task without feeling pain, and feel accomplishment without feeling pain.
listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.
I'm Robin Finn, a trans artist with ME/CFS. I work entirely in traditional media, and run a little shop & mail club out of my bedroom studio with affordable prints & originals for other queers & spoonies. Give this post a reblog to help a housebound creator find my people!
to anyone in the areas impacted by the wildfire smoke, my #1 biggest piece of advice as someone whos been dealing with wildfire smoke in the NW united states for years, is build yourself a Corsi-Rosenthal Cube
they perform as well as expensive HEPA air cleaners, and are comparatively VERY inexpensive. all you need is a box fan, 4 air filters, a piece of cardboard, and some duct tape!!!!
i think it took us maybe a half hour to put ours together, if that, and we replace the filters every 3 months. it's really made a HUGE difference, both when the air quality is bad, but also with our allergies
As someone that has had to go through this while being very poor, I can say this is VERY effective. While this is a fantastic build, you can even do just a single filter against the fan, or a fan on one side of a cardboard box and a filter on the opposite side.
Can confirm - works GREAT! BUT!!! equally important - keep your windows CLOSED.. if you've got leaky seals around your doors, consider stuffing them with wet towels. keep that toxic crud out of your living space as best as you can.
Just swapped out the filters on our 1st Corsi-Rosenthal cube, and what a difference! Dusty old filter above, minty fresh one below.
This particular filter box spent 10+ months on low inside our house, catching tons of wildfire smoke, PM2.5, and COVID-19 aerosols, as well as pollen, dust, and mold. Glad all that's on THERE and not in our lungs!
I highly recommend building your own CR box for your home, school, work, mutual aid meet ups, etc. All you need is 4 MERV-13 filters (sold at most hardware stores), a 20" box fan, scissors, cardboard, and duct tape.
A new one costs about $75-100 - much cheaper and performs a lot better than a lot of fancy air purifiers. Building it with 2 people takes about an hour (mostly to measure and cut out the weird shroud thing), and swapping in new filters is much faster.
Check out the Clean Air Crew website to get started on your own filter fan box! We protect each other! 💪😷✨
Sharing this today because wildfire smoke is full of all kinds of dangerous particles from burned up buildings, cars, etc. But DIY filter fans like mine, air purifiers, and disposable respirator masks like KN95/N95s protect your lungs by snatching 95%+ of those particles out of the air.
If you're in a smoke zone, stay inside with air cleaning devices as much as you can and wear a respirator outside! People close to the fires should seek out reusable silicone/plastic respirator masks with filter cartridges that trap particles AND vapors (the same kinds that work for tear gas).
The 13th annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 13th August 2026.
It’s short and easy, for most participants it takes 5 minutes or less.
After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.
If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks. Every share is extremely helpful!
Survey URL: https://survey.gendercensus.com
The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.
therapy resources / schema therapy / dbt/dialectical behaviour therapy / internal family systems / meditation / c-ptsd etc. resources
this is a link to my personal google drive, it has lots of dbt stuff, some random other resources that either i or my friends have found helpful incl. DID/OSDD/dissociation resources, & some handouts from a personality disorder program i did (was aimed at pplwbpd officially but the staff all refer to it as the "personality disorder clinic", fwiw)
bunch of other stuff under the cut including video content if that's more your thing
DBT stuff
this subreddit is a wonderful community, usually helpful with questions & has some resources linked also:
(the website name is very questionable but i can't find the pdf for free anywhere else orz. this is a good starting point for schema therapy tho. sorry y'all. i will steal it for my google drive when i have time)
(i'm just linking the paid site because i cant find them gathered like that anywhere else… dont have time to search each one individually rn lol. maybe another day)
free stuff:
https://positive.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Schemas-Needs-and-Modes-Reference-Sheet.pdf
(overview)
https://bmcpsychology.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40359-020-0392-y/tables/1
(more detailed info on each schema)
http://www.schematherapy.com/id72.htm
(more info on modes)
https://positivepsychology.com/schema-therapy-worksheets/
(a few worksheets linked on that page)
Welcome!
I provide education on childhood trauma, conduct research, and advocate for healing from childhood trauma.
**PLEASE READ** My
(great channel run by a mental health practitioner who has experienced childhood trauma, he gets it. check out the playlists tab. he also has some free resources/worksheets on his website which is linked on his channel iirc)
attachment styles playlist by Jennifer May, Ph.D:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwPrhSDQ0V_smHuEjj2CxW4u7J_FozLlS
(cptsd content mostly, haven't watched much of her stuff but i liked what i did see. she isn't certified but she is someone who experienced childhood trauma as well).
healing cptsd (small channel, few videos but good info iirc):
https://www.youtube.com/@healingfromcomplexptsd2767
MEDITATION
Tara Brach is a leading western teacher of Buddhist meditation, emotional healing and spiritual awakening. This channel is a compilation of
(i cannot recommend her channel enough… i don't watch her longer videos/seminar(?) stuff but her meditation videos are like. actually helpful lol? i find a lot of that stuff not helpful at all but something about her is very calming and open and grounding. love her)
(she has some great videos for somatic symptoms... some playlists focus on anxiety relief, breathing/relaxation, posture/mobility, sleep, etc.)
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Dr Daniel Fox channel:
https://www.youtube.com/@DrDanielFox/videos
(cw: ableism/ableist language toward cluster b's is present on this channel, he just has a LOT of videos so i include the link... like if youre looking for something specific to do with pd traits, there's a good chance you can find SOMETHING here. *i have mixed cluster b traits incl. the more demonized ones disclaimer*. but yeah steer clear if that bothers you)
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Struthless channel:
big weird stories, hopefully good ones
(mostly adhd/exec dysfunction/motivational advice stuff but i find his videos like actually kinda inspiring/motivating so i'm including it here since not a lot of stuff... feels motivating to me at all ever. but i never regret clicking on his vids! good motivational speaker lol)
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that's all i can think of rn please lmk if any of the links are broken or like... if you have a question u think i can help w ^-^
so many people ive known have pushed themselves to burnout trying to deny their disabled reality, skipping accommodations, skipping rests etc. and the world convinces them that the solution to their burnout is to push even harder. it’s a huge tragedy. i know social pressures make it tough but i want more disabled people to make things easier for themselves where possible, to opt out of things that harm them when possible, to quit while they’re ahead. be that person today! protect yourself where you can! take micro breaks while doing your hobby. get that shower chair. sit to brush your teeth. lie down in the middle of the day, even if only for 5 mins. these things add up and it’s so worth it.
IDK who needs to hear this but if there's something in your life that makes you feel better, but you never stick to it,
it's still actually perfectly fine to do it
and you shouldn't stop yourself from starting just because it won't be a permanent change.
Like if starting a new daily planner gives you an amazing afternoon of planning and four days where you feel in charge of your life,
why not do it?
It doesn't matter that it won't be a permanent change - 4 good days is still worth it.
If you ever catch yourself thinking, "I wish I could pray/stretch/prep/plan/do the thing, but I always get started on that and it never lasts more than a couple of days,"
what this really means is, "hey, I can feel better for a couple of days."
if this post is making you think of things in your own life that you wish you could stick to because of how good they make you feel,
just be aware:
you're not thinking of a list of ways you've failed to commit
you're thinking of a list of things that make you happy, and you should give yourself permission to start doing them as often as you want to
be proud of ‘small’ achievements that are big for you as a disabled person. share them with trusted people, share them online, write them in your journal or your notes app. forge a space for yourself. don’t shrug your successes off just bc they don’t look like much to abled people.
hello guys in light of disability pride month i would like to urge everyone to practice harm reduction in any area of life if it is possible for you. if you have an eating disorder please let yourself eat enough for your body to keep going, especially because it takes more energy for disabled people to function. if you abuse substances please make sure they don’t interact harmfully with any medications you take (for example: watching your alcohol intake when on SSRIs). if you self harm please clean your wounds so your body doesn’t have to overcompensate when trying to heal. if you mask heavily for social survival please try to give yourself rest and breaks so you don’t completely burn out. i know sometimes all of this is impossible, and that’s okay. but if you can, i urge you to be a little kinder to yourself this month. i love you.
food pantries and food banks are crucial in addressing the basic needs of individuals facing food insecurity. millions of people in america and puerto rico will be affected and have been these past and coming weeks. if you can donate to any of the ones that accept donations, if you have the means and are willing to, i ask you do to protect those who will struggle in these coming weeks. if not, thats okay, please at least share and i hope those who need this now can benefit from the support provided by this list. our communities need union and compassion always.
the plentiful app creates seamless and accesible ways to find food banks and visit them through their app to communicate directly with providers
foodfinder is another source that helps locate local food banks and food pantries
feedingamerica has their own food banks and pantries under their program which one can search for locally here
projectfoodbox offers food boxes curated by dietitians if ones insurance qualifies for it
foodpantries lists more than 16k food pantries, banks and soup kitchens
ampleharvest has local food pantries which accept donations from farmers with a surplus of fresh food
the little pantry helps find small, neighborhood pantries in areas supported by neighbors for free, similarly to the concept of little libraries
freedge helps create or find small groups in which people can share their food supplies and others can accept their surplus of foods locally
yhunger gives resources to young teens and adults in their local areas to help create budget friendly recipes, receive resources and receive any help
too good to go is an app that gives you restaurants, grocery stores and bakeries which donate their unsold foods to prevent food waste
i share these resources for anyone who may need them whether to feed their families through these times or who are willing to volunteer to support their local neighborhoods. many of these are free and need our support in this coming time of need for billions, just getting these out there to people in itself is enough. reblog, share, donate if possible or add on if you know any more resources that can help anyone at this time! 🤍
[ i will soon compile a list for hygienic products, the link would be found here ]
people like the idea that there is an identity they can claim that will absolve them of the responsibility to examine their beliefs and actions and adjust them accordingly to better align with their values and desired outcomes but there isn't, we all have to practice humility and do the work regardless
nobody is out of your league by the way. not everybody will be into you obviously but thats not because they're better or more valuable than you in any way its just the way things go. you never know who's gonna be into whom. there is literally no such thing as leagues.
vaporwave
romaincrisis
2087
dailybridgerton
pixelskylines
yousharknotpass
tangentwithtanner
