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@transconnordetroit
More Father Figure Hank
I need more sad Gavin going to Hank for comfort because our gay rat was pushed away from his family for being gay
We need some fics and I’m terrible at writing so…
https://archiveofourown.org/works/18070265
I have this in trans Gavin :-) (and rest assured all of my Gavins are gay)
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Mirror
Gavin never liked the mirror. His face was too long, then too short, then too far and lumpy. His body all wrong, all ugly and askew, more circle than rectangle. A wreck, plain and simple.
But as he stared in the mirror, the last of wispy brown hair snip snipped away, he saw something else, something other than disgust staring back at him.
Gavin Reed saw hope.
For Writers:
Reblog if it’s okay for your followers to leave you an ask telling you what the one thing is they remember you for as a writer. Is it a scene or a detail or a specific line? Is it something like style or characterization? Is it that one weird kink they never thought they’d be into, but oh my god wow self-discovery time?
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Starlight
Gavin had always loved starlight. The way it shone so brightly, big and beautiful and unmatchable in the sky. How it crept so quietly through the window, softer than the lowest whisper. Or how it set even the most menial object to a brilliant dazzle.
But, as Connor’s arms remained firm around him, fingers lovingly tracing the scars etched just below his pecks, Gavin knew that for obse, he could forgo seeing the starlight.
Family Can Mean Many Things
Gavin had never had a nice family. They had said they loved him, sure, and had even plied him with small trinkets here and there, but as soon as he had come out, things had changed. They hadn’t believed, hadn’t accepted him. To them, he would always be a silly little girl. So he had left, losing his family along the way. He had been alone. Until he met Connor.
Things had been great, more than great. But now, as one of the largest family-oriented holidays approached, Gavin felt sick. Connor loved him, but it was only fair that Connor spend the day with his father.
“Do you want to go now?” Connor stood over his desk, unusually early for him, as he normally worked to the last minute.
“Go? I thought you’d go with Hank today.” His arms crossed as he tried not to look petulantly up at Connor.
“No, silly. That’s later. I have somewhere I want to take you.” The sweet smile on Connor’s face melted any resentment bubbling in Gavin.
“OK.” He allowed himself to give him a slow grin. “Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise!”
The car ride to Connor’s surprise passed pleasantly, Connor’s hand caressing his as Gavin looked out of the window. Gavin’s eyes alighted on the animal shelter as they came to a stop. “Wait… are you…”
“I think it’s about time.” Connor squeezed his hand before stepping out of the car.
“Can it be a cat?” He didn’t even have to use his puppy eyes to get Connor to agree.
A bell jangled above them as they stepped inside, and a smiling attendant rushed to greet them. “Hello. Are you two looking to adopt?” A real smile displayed behind frazzled hair and tired eyes greeted them.
“Yes. A cat.”
”Right this way.” The attendant lead them into a long room filled with cages. Gavin’s eyes went wide. So many cats. So many fucking cats. His hand instinctively reached out, despite the distance and bars between him and them.
“Should I leave you alone with them? Or do you want my help in choosing?” Connor nudged his shoulder playfully.
“Fuck- sure. It’s your cat too, right?”
“Of course. But I do want you to have the first pick.”
Gavin nodded at that, already drifting towards the first cage. A small calico lay curled inside, her ears flicking as she groomed herself. “Hello!” His face pressed against the cage. “How are you today?” The Calico gave him a mew in response.
“Do you want to hold her?” Connor rested his chin on Gavin’s shoulder.
“Uhh… I want to look around more. We could find so many friends!”
“... Gavin we can’t get all of them.”
Gavin had already gone to inspect the other cages. So many cats stared back at him. Small brown tabbies, large white orange tabbies splotched with white, and even a grey colorpoint. “So many good boys and girls here, Connor. I don’t know if I can choose.”
“Do you want me to help?”
“... No thanks.” His eyes scanned the room again. Connor, bless him, had always preferred dogs, so he didn’t particularly trust his decision.
His eyes stopped. Sitting alone in a cage and facing the wall was a small black cat with white feet. “Can I pet that one?”
“I will see.” As Connor left to find the attendant, Gavin approached the cage. Only the slight rise and fall of the kitten’s chest alerted Gavin to the fact that it was alive.
“Hello there.” He breathed, hands splaying against the cage. “I’m here now. You won’t have to be alone.”
The attendant returned and opened the cage, handing the kitten to Gavin. “He’s been here awhile.” She remarked, a small smile on her face as she looked at Gavin. Nodding slightly, Gavin clutched the kitten to his chest. Precious. He was so fucking precious.
“Does he have a name?”
“Not really. We wanted his owners to name him.”
Gently, he petted the head of the kitten. He mewed up at Gavin, eyes opening wide to display a soft green ringed with the last remnants of kitten-blue.
“You like him, don’t you.” Connor had returned, the same smile on his face as he looked down at Gavin.
“I do. Very much. He’s a runt.”
“What will you name him?” Tentatively, Connor had reached out to give a quick pat to the cat’s head.
“Scourge!”
“Like from that book series?”
“That’s the uhh, general idea, yeah.”
“Because he is your favorite?”
“... He looks like him.”
As Connor filled out the paperwork, Gavin marvelled over his new friend. “You’re so soft.” He whispered, ghosting his fingers over the kitten’s fur. The kitten gave him a solemn meow, nudging his head head into Gavin’s palm.
On the car ride back, Gavin cradled Scourge in his lap. Connor kept glancing over, and Gavin had to remind him to keep his eyes on the road.
“Not that I’m complaining, but why did we do this today? You had somewhere to be…”
“Well… Today is a day spent with one’s family. Even if I couldn’t spend all of today with you like I wanted, I wanted you to have someone to spend it with. Pets can be family, too, Gavin.”
Baby Blue (Part 1)
The child had such bright blue eyes. Baby blue, Gavin mused, because the words were quite apt for the face still chubby with baby fat, as well as the little lips that wobbled. It was hard to look away. The child’s face was tracked in tears, little droplets both shed and unshed, products of the earlier events and not of the questioning, Gavin hoped, hovering on their waterline.
At first, when the questioning began an hour ago, about the body that had been found right outside the apartment where the child lived, he had been almost certain the child was a girl. A tomboy for sure, with how the kid was dressed (dark jeans and a loose t-shirt, with short brown hair splayed messily over a pale forehead), but as the questioning drew on, his confidence in the fact wavered.
The kid had winced when he asked them their name. It was a subtle thing, something the untrained and untried eye might not have caught, if not given the chance. But he had caught it, and he had felt it, too, deep in the pit of his stomach. And he had caught the way the kid slumped when he called them a girl, a young lady, and the way the light had left such blue blue eyes.
“I don’t, I don’t have to go back yet, right Mister Reed? I get to stay here at least until lunchtime, right? You said the questions would take at least that long, and Daddy always said cops never lie...“ The child’s voice came out in a hiccuping squeak, and Gavin winced. He knew that voice, even if he hadn’t seen the kid before today. He knew the pain and the terror that lay inside of the all-wrong cadence. But as Gavins eyes narrowed, he knew there was something else.
“You said you were here with your foster mother. Amanda, was it? What’s so bad about going back with her?”
“I- She makes me- Dunno. Forget I said anything.” The child twiddled their thumbs together, blue eyes staring down at the grey table between them.
He regarded them for a long moment. It was obvious they wouldn’t say anything else, with how the eyes remained trained on the table, but Gavin couldn’t send them back. So instead, he leaned forward, voice dropping to a conspiratorial tone. “Why don’t I bring you lunch in here, alright? And we can continue talking over that.”
The child considered, little fingers fiddling with the edge of a loose thread. The beginnings of a smile finally spread across their face. “I guess that would be nice.”
Take Flight Chapter 1
[WARNING: Attempted Suicide]
Red light, stretching out like the angry tails of some great cat, split the horizon into bite size portions. Connor sat back on his haunches, fingers drumming over the hard asphalt of the alley. It had been his position for the past month, hidden away inside of the large green bushes that crept upon the corner of the apartment building, where he could easily survey anything that occurred. In particular, it allowed an easy view of one specific human.
Connor had Gavin Reed’s routine down to a T. At least, his routine upon coming out of his building. Finding a place where he could easily enter his apartment, or at least watch through his window, had been much harder than he had first considered. Still, Connor knew enough.
First, the man, the detective, left his apartment. For the past month that Connor had watched the air held a certain chill, so the detective took a beaten leather jacket with him. On the first few days, he had left with a woman in tow, and his hands had remained outside of his jacket and clasped around hers, perhaps in some attempt to warm her. But after the woman had left one day as the sun settled below the horizon, Gavin no longer came out with her. Instead, he stalked out alone, his hands firmly stuffed into the pockets of his jacket.
Most days, Gavin would check the little blue dishes he had laid out, either filling one with kibble or taking both of them back to be washed. Sometimes, a little grey tabby cat or soft looking black cat would hang around, and Gavin would stop to rub his hands down their spine. Sometimes, when Gavin didn’t have work, he would sit down beside them and play with them for hours, cooing soft words into them as he let them curl onto his lap. They never strayed far from Gavin then, always skirting a careful edge around the bushes where Connor hid. But since the woman had left, Gavin’s time with the cats had grown shorter and shorter.
On his workdays, Gavin took either the bus or his beat up car. The car had popped and shuddered the last time Gavin had taken it, three weeks ago, so for the past few days he had stuck to the bus. Connor preferred it that way; it was easier for him to watch, as the bus moved predictably, unlike Gavin’s erratic attempt at driving.
Afterwards, Gavin would arrive at the station, either scarfing down something unhealthy in the outer parking lot before entering, or going straight inside. Connor would wait outside either until the detective ended work at 5:30 sharp, or until he was sent out for a case.
It was Connor’s job to know Gavin’s routine, down to the second of each step of his day. But just the big things, like when he left for work and when or if he left on the weekends and who he had contact with, usually. Of who else could know. Just enough to know what would be viewed as anomalous behavior for Gavin, if he was to simply… stop.
But that didn’t stop Connor from noticing. From noticing the way Gavin’s feet dragged as he left work, and how he always stopped off at the same place for breakfast, even back when the woman had later scolded him for it. From noticing the way Gavin’s hand swung the woman’s when they held hands, and how he had seemed so much lighter when with her. How his green-gray eyes lit up whenever he looked at her. How his face softened when he was with the cats, melting just so as his hands stroked through their fur. How Gavin loved the color blue; not harsh and dark like midnight or the eyes of Connor’s brother, but the kind of blue that lit the sky just after dawn.
Connor also noticed how Gavin had changed after the woman had left. His feet dragged each day, Gavin loitering longer and longer outside of his building and outside of his workplace. How he almost never smiled. How even the cats that milled around him seemed to sense it, brushing up against him with more insistence. Some of Gavin’s only smiles had been for them.
But Connor remembered, most of all, when he had found such a pretty blue rock. A cleft had been made into the otherwise ovaloid form, so it resembled a “heart”. He had placed it right outside of Gavin’s apartment, minutes before he knew Gavin would leave.
And Gavin had seen it. With his face softened into something that at least resembled a smile, he had scooped up the little blue rock and slipped it into his pocket.
All of the little things that Connor noticed made him wait “just one more night”, as the time bled past him at an alarming rate. Because Connor knew it could only be “just one more night” for so long. Connor found with a certain dull alarm that he couldn’t bare the thought.
As the sun climbed higher into the sky, red draining into watery blue, Connor began to worry. Gavin should have left by now. The cats had long since left their station at the dishes, pitiful mewls soon drying up upon the realization that they would not be fed.
For a moment, Connor wondered with a certain sinking feeling if his brother had gotten tired of waiting. But, Gavin poked his head out of the door. He looked awful. Black bags that had been growing ever since the woman’s leaving marked his face, and Gavin walked in a struggling shuffle outside. He made his way over to his car, pulling the door open with no small amount of force and slumping into the driver’s seat. He had been crying, Connor realized.
As Connor was about to creep forward, just for a better look, Gavin started the car. The popping did nothing to deter the man, and he quickly pulled out of the parking space. The precinct was to the right, over a long stretch of road. Perhaps Gavin had a later shift at work, Connor reasoned.
Gavin turned to the left and sped away.
---------------------------------------------
Hot asphalt churned under Gavin’s tires as his car sputtered over the road. He shouldn’t have gotten up today. Shouldn’t have been out there, either, but he didn’t fucking care. Not after her.
Because if he closed his eyes, he would be brought back.
Gavin got out of his car, and slowly made his way to the edge of the bridge. His feet didn’t know whether or not they wanted to drag it out, so he found himself half dragging himself until he reached the railing. The water glistened below, an ugly dark blue. The more he watched, the more his stomach curdled. And yet, he couldn’t go back. Not after she had left him, all out here alone.
His eyes darted down again to the water. Small gusts of wind tugged at his jacket, and fucked with the water surface below. Flashes of black mingled with the deep dark blue, and it almost looked like-
The night is hot and wet, like something slobbering. His heart hammers as his fingers shake over his gun. The safety is off now. Rain spatters against the ground in great droplets, and he if wasn’t wearing his jacket he would have shuddered.
The man, at least he thinks it was a man, had run into the alleyway. Gavin had run after.
One dead already, and blood boils inside of him as he remembers the body. His fingers clench around the gun. It is only a few steps farther, until he reaches the lip of the alleyway and he can see into it. See the man, and shoot him.
He darts forward, feet hitting the pavement with an audible clack, and as he looks inside his eyes widen.
Teeth. So many bright white teeth grin down at him from the big black shape that crouches in the alleyway. Large wings dark like leather stretch upwards. The rain is hard and he can’t see much but what he can see-
Dark blue eyes stare straight into his.
Gavin fought the urge to vomit a he tore his eyes away from the water.
“Phuck. Phucking phuck.” Cold sweat dripped down his body, drenching the shirt underneath his jacket.
He didn’t want to do it. And yet… If he lived, he would have to see those eyes every day. His own girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, had left after the first week. “I’ll love you forever” only lasted so long when it came to someone too afraid to turn the light off, he had learned.
His palms slicked the railing with cool, making it too slippery to hold onto for long. So he hoisted himself over. The other side of the ledge was too short to stand on comfortably, and the water crashed below. Still, Gavin didn’t let it deter him. His hands still grasped the railing, but his grip was only so hard as the slick built up and up.
So Gavin let go, stepping off of the ledge.
---------------------------------------------
Connor should have let Gavin fall. He should have let all of this be over, so he could go back to his brother and Mother with his mission completed and nothing to care about anymore. He should have forgotten about the way Gavin’s green-gray eyes lit up when he found Connor’s present. He should have forgotten about his smile.
But Connor couldn’t.
So Connor went after him.
Me: *has a multichapter fic planned out and three chapters in that I should really just write*
Also me: What if I write porn in this au instead??
Tears
Gavin sniffed. He fucking hated crying, and he fucking hated crying at work even more. Still, it was all he could do to keep the tears in.
Normally, he tried not to let what his dumbass coworkers said bother him. But the haircut had been special. Along with the binder, it was a step to becoming himself. And they had taken it away.
Something nudged his shoulder. Gavin grunted, looking up and locking eyes with Hank Anderson. Gavin’s pout turned to an ugly snarl. On good days he tolerated the man, but now...
“The fuck do you want, Anderson?” Gavin crossed his arms over his chest, hiking his shoulders up.
Hank sighed. He didn’t look as gruff as he usually did, and that made Gavin pause. “I wasn’t- I’m not them, alright, kid? Not everything’s a fuckin battle between us.”
“So what? You’ve come here to lecture me?” The tears from earlier were dangerously close to leaving, so Gavin pushed away.
Hank shook his head, and in that moment Gavin believed him. “I just wanted to say that I liked the new haircut. It suits you, alright? It screams Gavin.” A hand clapped his shoulder, squeezing once before letting go.
Before Gavin could thank him, Hank was gone. So were his tears.
Have some headcannons/assumptions you can make about the characters in my stories unless it’s stated otherwise
Gavin: Trans, Gay, and Aro. Loves cats.
Connor: Also trans and Gay. Probably calls himself “homosexual” ffhgdfhgc
Hank: cis bi.
Jeffrey: cis gay. #1 trans ally. Vaguely a father figure to Gavin
Nines: Also trans and gay. Also aro. Also loves cats
The Best Kind Of Quiet
Connor sighed, watching his synthetic breath form a slight mist in the air. It was late enough in the evening that the warm light filtering through the slats in Gavin’s apartment cast the room in a dark reddish orange, but not late enough for Gavin to be asleep on his side, curled up and content like the two cats that stalked somewhere in the apartment.
Despite this fact, Gavin’s head rested against Connor’s chest, eyes drooping cutely in an attempt at rest. On the one hand, Connor didn’t want to rouse him (he looked so peaceful…), but on the other, if Gavin slept now, he would be up too late for work the next day.
“It is only 7:35, Gavin. You need to wake up.” Gently, he flicked the ball of his boyfriend’s nose.
“Go away. M sleepin…” Gavin mumbled, digging his nails into Connor’s shirt as he positioned himself. Connor refrained from mentioning that if he indeed “went away” like Gavin asked, Gavin would fall onto the couch.
“If you sleep now, you will be unable to sleep at night!”
“No…” Gavin rolled his head so he smothered himself in Connor’s shirt. “Don’t underestimate me…”
“I do not intend to. Now, will I have to push you?” His hands readied to deliver Gavin with “tough love”, but Gavin looked up, wide, puppy eyes locking onto his.
“Please?”
“I…”
“Do you want to make me cry?”
“Gavin…” It came out as a sigh, but it was a loving sigh.
Gavin grinned and resettled his head on Connor. “Maybe… maybe I’ll stay up, if we can have hot cider?”
“And you take your medicine.”
“It’s too early for that now…”
“You’ll be less sore from it.”
“Fine.” There was no bite behind the declaration.
Connor stood, going to Gavin’s kitchen to make the cider. As Connor poured the heated treat into two separate mugs, one labeled “Cat Daddy” and the other “Funky Fresh”, Gavin stumbled into the kitchen with a blanket around his shoulders, his hair mussed up into spikes and eyes streaked with red.
“Gavin? I thought you were still resting.”
“Said I’d get up if you made Cider. Just thought I should help.”
“Thank you.” Connor smiled at him.
Gavin helped as best he could, providing emotional support more than anything else as he watched Connor sprinkle cinnamon into the mugs.
Once the cider sat steaming in their hands, and Gavin’s t shot had been successfully administered with only a little fuss, they found themselves back in the living room.
“Would you like to watch a movie?” Connor hummed into Gavin’s hair. Gavin had quickly repositioned himself to rest on Connor.
“Nah.” Like a pliant little kitty, Gavin kneaded Connor’s thigh.
“Oh?”
“I’d rather enjoy the quiet.”
Ears
(This is a repost of a gift for @gavin-kamski. Go follow him he’s p cool)
“You, uh, I thought you’d like these.” His partner, Gavin Reed, currently stood at his desk, hands clasped around a small package as they proffered it to him. A light red dusted his cheeks, and from the increase in his heart rate, RK900 knew Gavin felt nervous.
He lifted his lips in his best impression of a smile, mentally willing his blue eyes to soften. “Thank you. But what is it, exactly?” He hummed, tapping the package. Gavin had wrapped it in baby blue paper printed with tiny white kittens, and it sat lightly in his hands.
“I… I noticed you were having, uhm, problems, yesterday. With the noise level.” Like little butterflies, Gavin’s fingers had begun to drum on his desk, and he refused to look RK900 in the eyes. Still, RK tried his best to maintain eye contact while softening his smile. Warily, Gavin smiled back.
“That was extremely thoughtful of you, Detective Reed.” He said, fingers deftly tearing at the seams of the wrapping paper. When he pulled the paper off, a sharp chuckle left him.
Cat ears. Noise-cancelling cat ear headphones, to be precise. Constructed of soft-looking black material, they had two blue stripes down the sides. “Well… they certainly hold your unique charm, Detective. I like them.”
Sliding them from the plastic, he placed them on his head. The office thankfully fell silent. The ears sat lightly in his hair, and he grinned. Gavin was watching him intently. “Does this please you, detective?” He tried to modulate his voice into a purr, batting his “paw” at Gavin.
Gavin only grimaced, his face redder than before. “Fucking- whatever, man.” Still, a tiny grin lit his face when RK900 appeared to not be looking.
Padtastrophe
Jeffrey sighed in through his nose, looking out at the racks upon racks of pads that stretched into the dingily lit convenience store. At 1:30 am, it was the last place anyone would want to be. But after what Jeffrey had seen in the bathroom, he couldn’t have been anywhere else.
For the two months that Gavin had been staying with him, he had caused little trouble. Only the quiet shuffle of Gavin maneuvering to the kitchen late at night, and his sporadic mealtime appearances, were Gavin’s marks on his house. He had thought Gavin was settling in fine, that the boy that he had slowly grown to care for’s dysphoria was manageable now, even as he remained on the waiting list for hormone therapy. Gavin had treaded water since he had been kicked out of his house at 16, and Jeffrey thought his head was remaining afloat.
Besides, Gavin was just staying with him. He was a young man with nowhere else to go, and Jeffrey has little right to form any undue attachment to him. Even if Gavin’s particularly young age pulled right at his heart.
Earlier in the evening, Jeffrey had been woken by quiet sobs that filtering in from the bathroom. He had found Gavin lying hunched over in the corner of the room, hands pressed into his face as he stared down at the pale blue tile.
It took minutes of coaxing, Gavin’s face pinched as his voice slipped between a cry and a broken sob, before he got what had happened.
The pads had set him off. They were the ones that Jeffrey’s sister had left over at her last visit, because somehow the thought that Gavin did still menstruate had escaped his mind, and Gavin hadn’t complained before. But, he supposed, the bright pink hearts and female symbols decorating the pads had been a tipping point.
So, after awkwardly patting Gavin on the back and escorting him back to his room, he had set out in search of something better. After all, he had caused the problem in the first place.
He had never been in a menstruation aisle before. Of course he had a sister and a mother, but both had dealt with their periods without his help, and all of Jeffrey’s past partners that had at one point menstruated had been far enough along in their transitions to stop it.
Even worse, the products all seemed the same to him. As he poured over the different packages, trying to decipher what exactly “heavy flow” meant (it sounded like new age shit to him, to be quite honest), someone spoke.
“You seem lost. Do you need some help?” A woman, a young woman probably only a few years older than Gavin, looked at him with bemusement.
“I-“ Maybe he did. “I’m getting something for a… friend of mine.”
“A friend, huh? Well, what do they need the pads for? Nighttime, daytime, everyday? If their flow is heavy, I suggest nighttime.”
“Everyday is fine, I think.” Jeffrey had no idea about Gavin’s “flow”, but it seemed like the right option. It certainly covered all of the bases.
“You aren’t certain, are you?”
“It’s 1:30 am. I’m not at my best.”
“I can see that.” She smiled, lips curling up as Jeffrey awkwardly stood beside her.”Heavy Flow” still rested awkwardly in his hand. “Do you need a brand suggestion?”
“Yes, maybe.”
“Any specifics?”
He searched for what to tell her. The last thing he wanted was to bring back something that would cause Gavin even more pain, but he didn’t want to out Gavin either. It seemed a silly thing to worry about, with Gavin never having to interact with or know about the woman in front of him, but he couldn’t break his trust like that. Jeffrey’s last boyfriend had had very clear rules about who he could and couldn’t tell about his gender, but he had never hashed it out with Gavin. It had seemed unnecessary until the moment. Still, he needed to do one thing right. “I think I need something less flashy. And uhh durable, definitely durable.”
“Less flashy?” Her eyes narrowed as she hummed. “I think there may be some plain pads back here. Unless… you meant less feminine.”
“I-“
“It’s- I’m sorry if I assumed-“
“No, no, it’s fine. My uhh… friend got his period while staying with me and he was… upset with the pad choices I had to offer.”
“Upset?” The woman frowned. “That’s, that’s always the worst.
“I should have known better, but he never said anything before.” Jeffrey sighed. Baring himself to a stranger felt wrong, but the thought that he’d never see her again brought him some small measure of comfort. Like he was just screaming into a bag; a quick escape of emotion that he’d never have to hear from again.
“Well, it sounds like you care a lot about him.”
“Does it?” He laughed. In the universal sense, he hadn’t been able to say no to the green eyes that had stared at him so hopefully from across the little station. But… for two months, for at least one of Gavin’s cycles, the boy had said nothing. Not a peep or a complaint to him, no hint to any of the hurt that had erupted into Gavin sobbing in the bathroom. If Jeffrey really cared so much for him, surely he would have noticed it sooner. “I can’t say I’ve been the most observant.”
“Well, you’re out here now, aren’t you? Most men I know would have waited til morning, if they even came at all.”
Before Jeffrey could protest the praise, the woman had grabbed his hand and commenced marching him over to a tiny ledge in the aisle of pads. Right under the large and nondescript heavy duty packages clustered a row of pads in bright blue wrapping. Little rocketships and stars dotted the translucent plastic.
“They’re for kids, but they’ll probably work, right?”
“I think they will.”
————–
At 2:35 in the morning, Jeffrey stumbled through the door to his apartment with arms laden with supplies. At the behest of the woman, he had gotten both a heating pack and a cold pack, as well as store-brand bottle of Tylenol. The bar of the horrific Crackle chocolate that Gavin loved to consume (he had devoured three bars in five minutes when Jeffrey had first bought him food, he remembered fondly), as well as the dark blue stuffed Dino, nearest to the one that Gavin had described as his childhood companion, were all Jeffrey’s own idea. The dinosaur might have been a step too much, the one toe over the boundary line that tipped his purchases from thoughtful to hurtful, but it had seemed so right at the time.
“Gavin? You still up, kiddo?”
“I’m up.” The voice came out weak, and Jeffrey couldn’t help but wince.
“I uhh, got you stuff. I’ll bring it up to you.”
“No, no it’s fine- I can come down!” The sudden switch in tone made Jeffrey frown, and as he ascended the stairs to investigate, he locked eyes with Gavin. The boy stood in the doorway to Jeffrey’s own room, silky hair ruffled like he had been lying down.
“Kid?”
“I- your room is the one with the TV.” Gavin’s arms crossed over his chest, and he looked pointedly at the ground.
Jeffrey made no comment on the fact that the TV hadn’t been on. “I uh, got you these, among other things. I hope you like them.” He tossed the plastic package to Gavin.
Catching it, Gavin turned it over, a small but real smile spreading over his face. It almost made the sight of such red eyes less painful. “Thank you.”
“It was no problem. And while you get those on, I can set up a place for you on my bed. We can watch TV until you’re ready to sleep, if that’s alright with you.”
Gavin gave him a salute before darting into the bathroom. He took long enough for Jeffrey to turn on the heating pad and get a glass of water for the tylenol, as well as prop a pillow up for Gavin to lean on.
Gavin plopped down onto the bed, scooting up to hit the pillow. Jeffrey switched on the TV as he sat down besides him, making no comment when Gavin leaned over to rest his arm on his.
“What do you want to watch?”
“Anything’s fine.” Gavin’s eyelids had started to droop, and the soft but sleepy look that only existed on small children and those recovering from emotional turmoil had overtaken him. Jeffrey decided he could take his chance.
“You know, if you ever need to talk, I’m here. I- I may not understand everything, or much of anything, sometimes, but I care about you, little man.”
Gavin nodded, and Jeffrey realized with a small little smile that Gavin’s head had lolled onto his shoulder.
“I have something else for you too, kiddo.” He almost regretted pushing Gavin further into wakefulness, except for how Gavin’s eyes lit up at the words.
“Present?”
“Yeah.”
He pushed the stuffed Dino into Gavin’s arms. As Gavin’s eyes widened, he wondered if he had gone too far, if the present was too childish and if it would only drag Gavin down even deeper into the dysphoria that he had just clawed out of. Or if it would remind Gavin of everything that he had lost, of exactly everything that Jeffrey wasn’t.
Instead, with little tears that tottered Jeffrey’s heart on edge, Gavin smiled. Before he could speak to console him, or to decry any meaning behind him he present, Gavin had pushed into his arms. “Thank you so much, Dad.”
That writing you just posted. Oh man it got me right in the feels. I just wanted to say fantastic job and thank you gor blessing my day
Ahh thank you!! This comment has certainly blessed *my* day :) And I’m so glad you enjoyed that fic in particular; writing father/son relationships is a favorite thing of mine
Are you taking fanfic prompts?
Yeah! I can’t promise that I’ll get them done in any reasonable stretch of time (I have little time for writing during the week) but I’d love to get prompts!
Docked
The air itself seemed to shimmer around them as Gavin reclined his back against the splintery wooden post of the dock.
“Life lends itself to so many questions.” Connor murmured. He sat beside him, hunched forward and staring across the water as his fingers fiddled together in some sort of dance.
“Like what?” Asked Gavin. The wind snaked past him, bringing enough of a cool that he wanted to cross his arms. “Like why I'm on this dock with you?” It was a pressing question indeed; Connor had dragged him there instead of work.
“Yes. I think the answer to that is that you love me. And perhaps you were not looking forward to today's activities.”
“Perhaps.” Gavin laughed, nodding his head in a fake thoughtful gesture.
“Perhaps.” Repeated Connor. His fingers clasped and unclasped again.
“Why are you so nervous?”
“Nervous?”
“Your hands, Connor.”
“Is that not another of life’s questions?”
“Connor. I know you know why you're nervous, so-”
“Tell me, when was the first moment that you decided you could stand me?”
“I-” The blunt way Connor phrased it made Gavin wince. “When you were with that cat. The one we found on duty together. The way you held it, I… it made my heart melt.”
“And his heart grew three sizes that day.” Connor murmured.
“And what about you? It had to be long after that.”
“It was the first time you smiled at me. Genuinely smiled. I remember telling myself that I could get used to the sight.”
Red warmth bloomed across Gavin’s face. “I'm sorry you didn't get it sooner.”
“I'm glad that I got it at all.”
Connor’s hands still fidgeted, somehow wringing in his lap. Something. They held something, small and round. His coin? Gavin tried to look closer, but as if by reflex, Connor’s hand rose to shield it.
“Gavin, when did you start loving me?”
“I, I'm not s-”
“Please.”
“When you forgave me. Because even after all of the awful things I had done to you, you still liked me. I don't think anyone's ever done that before.”
Connor blinked back what looked like water from his eyes. His hand closed in a gentle fist around the object in his hand.
“What about you, Connor? When did you first love me?”
Turning back to look at the water, Connor let a gentle smile pull at his lips. “I come out here to think sometimes, you know. No matter what, the water still laps at this dock. Not even the ice can stop it. I think it was here, that I realized. Not when I started, though. That must have been back after our second date. You let me hold you while we looked at the stars, remember? That was when I first loved you. But here is where I realized.”
“That you loved me?”
“Where I wanted my life to go.”
Something slow and warm spread through Gavin. Connor’s fingers caressed the object in his lap so delicately. “Why are you so nervous, Connor?” Gavin asked again. His hand reached out, and he gently curled it around Connor’s shoulder.
Connor let his palm lie flat. A ring, a golden ring with a simple white stone that was the most wonderful thing Gavin had seen in a very long time, winked up at Gavin in the dawning light.
“Gavin, will you marry me?”
Fatherhood
“You’ve done good, kiddo. You know that, right?” Hank’s large hand clapped against his back, and Connor gave Hank a small smile as he resisted the urge to correct the lieutenant’s grammar.
“I know, Hank.” For a moment, he considered leaning into the touch. It felt nice (very nice), but Connor decided that it was wholly unprofessional.
Still, professionalism didn’t seem to stop Hank’s praise. Despite a throng of coworkers milling in the bullpen, his arms opened to envelope Connor in a hug.
As the second arm met his side, Connor grabbed it. Hank pushed forward for a second before stopping, blinking at Connor. “Kid-”
“Isn’t it a bit weird for you to hug me?” Connor bit his lip as he asked him. They were at work, in front of all of their coworkers, and it felt… strange. Weird. He and Hank had hugged before, like when they had first met up after the revolution, and also when Hank had told him that Connor would always have a place in Hank’s home, but it had been in private. Adult men didn’t hug, after all, unless they were dating. And Connor was certainly not dating Hank.
Hanks arms were still raised in the welcoming gesture. “I… If you don’t feel comfortable, Connor, we don’t have to.” Hurt. Hank sounded hurt.
Did he feel uncomfortable? He had never thought about it before. The hugs had been nice, very nice, and he felt so safe enveloped in Hank’s arms. Still… Why did they hug? They were only friends.
“Thank you.” Connor tried to smile but it felt forced. Hank nodded again, his hands searching in the air for something to do before they settled in his pockets. “We should get back to work now, right?”
They seemed to have gathered an uncomfortable amount of attention. His coworkers eyes bore into them.
“... Right.” Hank didn’t look at Connor as he turned back to his desk.
As the day crawled on, Connor only grew more concerned. Hank had been silent for the past few hours, only looking up at Connor to grunt single words to Connor’s questions.
The charged silence was only broken by the appearance of Gavin Reed. The detective had been more bearable after the revolution, but only slightly. At the very least, he didn’t try to harass Connor.
The man had somehow made the decision that sitting on Connor’s desk was both professional and warranted for their relationship, so Connor had to awkwardly nudge aside his computer so Reed didn’t topple it. Hank wasn’t so obliging.
“Hey. You look morose, Conboy.” Reed kicked his legs as he looked down at Connor. He supposed that was the reason Gavin favored sitting on the desk; it provided him with an easy way to tower over the android.
“I am fine. And I suggest you remove your body from my workspace. It is inhibiting my productivity.”
“Like you care about that. I just have something I… want to show you. At lunch. Just meet me, alright?”
“Get. Yer. Fucking. Ass. Off. My. Desk. Reed.” Hank jabbed a writing utensil into Gavin’s backside with each word.
“I’m getting off, bastard.” Reed stumbled as he disentangled himself from Connor’s desk, making the “call me” signal at Connor before slinking off.
“The nerve of some people, right, sir?” He nudged Hank.
Hank sighed before turning back to his desk. “Yeah. The nerve.”
Connor had no reason to take Gavin up on his offer. Still, at the start of his lunch break, he found himself making his way over to the detective. Reed hadn’t seemed to have forgotten about his request; he stood with his arms crossed, something like a smile or a smirk on his face as he waited for Connor, legs jiggling slightly.
“Afternoon, detective. What do you wish to show me?”
“It’s uhh, in there.” A rather small hand gestured at Captain Fowler’s office.
“You wish for me to see you get reprimanded?”
“No- Hey! I just wanted you to have lunch with us, OK?”
“... Alright. But… why do you have lunch with the Captain?” Connor had always assumed that Gavin ate his lunch with his work friends. With schedules that hardly matched, and little interest in the detective, he had never seen the man eat before.
“I, um, it’s a standing appointment, I guess.”
“Like a date?” Connor knew Gavin was gay; he had seen the flag, along with a blue, pink, and white one on Gavin’s desk during Pride month. Perhaps he thought something romantic was occuring between him and the lieutenant and wanted to offer his counsel.
“What- fuck no!” Gavin’s face grew bright red as he sputtered. “It’s- we’re not like that, ok? Besides, I don’t date. Now, are you going to eat lunch with us or not?”
Connor considered the offer. He could go back to Hank, but the thought of sitting through the Lieutenant’s stony silence soured him. “Yes, I suppose I will. I just need to get my thirium.”
The glass door opened easily into the office. Connor had hardly been there outside of briefings. Only for the short meeting that had allowed him to enter back onto the police force.
“Gavin. I see you brought a friend.”
“Hi Jeff. I thought Connor would like to eat with us today.” Gavin shrugged, leaning against the door with his arms crossed against his jacket.
“That was very considerate of you, Gavin. Connor, why don’t you take a seat next to Gavin?”
Connor slid into the indicated seat. The Captain sat in front of him, hands clasped as he looked down at Connor over his lunch. Reed sat to the side, pulling a burger from a fat-stained brown bag. The captain’s eyes narrowed as he pulled it out. “Gavin… That is deeply unhealthy. Why aren’t you having what I packed you?”
“Fuck off. What are you, my dad?” Snickering at his own “joke”, Gavin leaned back in his seat. “Besides, it’s the healthiest meal I had all day. It's got protein, carbs, and even the leafy shit.”
The Captain steepled his fingers as he sighed. “Just… don’t eat all of the fries.”
As the two men lapsed into a momentary silence, the full awkwardness of the situation unfolded in Connor’s processors. He hardly knew the Captain, and what he did know of Reed was not favorable at all. And yet, he was having lunch with them.
Connor poked his straw into the top of the thirium pouch, watching intently as the air wheezed out. The Captain was most definitely looking at him, he decided, but he focused his eyes only on the drooping baf.
“That’s uh, that’s an interesting lunch you have there, Connor. Do they sell those in stores now?”
“No. Hank puts it in the bag for me. He likes to pack my lunch.”
“Oh. So… do you live with Hank?”
“... Yes. He offered me a room, and I accepted.”
The Captain and Gavin shared a look between them, and Connor slid further into his seat. “There is nothing wrong with me sharing a house with a friend.”
“We never said there was.” The Captain’s hand twitched, as if to reach out and pat Connor’s head.
To his side, Gavin nodded sagely. “Nothing weird at all, Conman.”
“Besides, you two eat lunch together. Isn’t that more suspicious?”
“Of what?”
“Of…” Connor didn’t know what he was saying. And he didn’t know why he was saying it, either. All he knew was that his stress level was rising. “Do- is it weird for two grown to hug each other? If they aren’t dating, I mean.”
“Is that what’s been bothering you?” The captain gave him a long look.
Connor nodded, intensely studying the fake wood grain of the table. If he looked hard enough, a little dog took shape.
“I- I- Hank and I hug, but he tries to do it in public and we aren’t dating at least I think we aren’t and and-”
“Connor-”
“I don’t know how I feel about him, ok?”
“Connor. It’s alright to hug your friends. Especially your male friends.”
“And it’s alright to hug your family too!”
“Gavin-”
“What?” Family? He and Hank weren’t related. Besides, he was an android; androids didn’t have family unless they married. “Lieutenant Anderson and I share no blood relation, Reed.”
“Well, duh. But family isn’t all about blood. Take me and Jeff, for instance.”
“Gavin-”
“You and… the Captain?”
“Yeah! See, I got kicked out of my house, and when I was new to the area I didn’t have a place to say, so Jeff took me in. And you didn’t have a place to stay after the revolution, so Hank took you in-”
“Gavin, he needs to figure this out for hims-”
“And Jeff is basically my Dad. Because he takes care of me and shit. And Hank takes care of you because you stay with him and he packs your lunch, so that makes him your dad!” Gavin looked extremely pleased with his summation. He grinned at Connor, leg bouncing against the floor. The captain only looked tired.
“The Lieutenant is… my father?”
“It’s obvious he cares about you deeply, Connor. And it’s not uncommon to form familial relationships with people who you aren’t related to by blood.”
“It isn’t?” Him and Lieutenant… were family? Connor had never thought of it like that. Hank was his friend, sure, had been a shoulder to lean on as he discovered deviancy and all that his newfound emotions entailed, but… a father? A man that would protect and care for Connor?
“Yes. Gavin and I aren’t related, but he still is welcome at my house.”
“Oh. Thank you for your insight, Captain.”
The rest of the lunch passed in relative unimportance. Gavin told the Captain about his day while the Captain returned his anecdotes with disapproving hums. Gavin addressed him a few times, mostly with snide remarks and queries about his day.
As Connor exited the Captain’s office, he looked at Hank. He was still bent over his desk, the remains of one of the awful sandwiches from the chicken feed scattered over the surface. Asd if he could sense Connor’s eyes on him, he looked up. The faintest bit of red corroded his eyes.
“Hello, Lieutenant.”
“Connor.” Hank gave him a nod without looking up.
Connor strode forward, until he looked directly down at the man before him. Hank looked up. His face was pressed into gruff lines, but Connor saw the smile beneath. Leaning forward, he rested his head on Hank’s shoulder as his arms wrapped around the Lieutenant in a hug. “Thank you for everything, Dad.”
