may your ass get fatter and your heart get wiser in 2017
May your wallet get thicker and soul become heavy in 2017
may your skin get clearer and your love reciprocated in 2017
Reblog for this to come true

Love Begins

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The Bowery Presents
d e v o n

oozey mess
tumblr dot com
sheepfilms
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Not today Justin

roma★
Misplaced Lens Cap
ojovivo
h
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Xuebing Du
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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Keni
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@transparentnutcollector00
may your ass get fatter and your heart get wiser in 2017
May your wallet get thicker and soul become heavy in 2017
may your skin get clearer and your love reciprocated in 2017
Reblog for this to come true
no way in hell am i passing this up
a student from uni scrolled past this and ended up failing all of his courses, even the ones he thought he passed… not gonna take this chance.
Jackpot
This is getting kind of ridiculous.
There are two five leaves in there somewhere
I lost count
This is the lucky clover bouquet. Reblog for seven days of good luck!
Y’all laugh but I actually end up doing pretty well once I go to work
Omfg this is of that kid he looks exactly the same
REBLOG THE DANCING WHITE BOI FOR 2017 GOOD LUCK
Not risking it
I ain’t takin that chance
It honestly seems like a curse but whatever you say lol reblog.
anyways look at this art project from when i was in grade two
reblog Don’t santa for a drama-free holiday
life, but everytime you cry it gets faster
reblog the money pigeon for a financially stable future
He’s doing a line
yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes
this is the 2016 apology post. reblog in 45 seconds and 2016 will apologize to you in the form of money.
me: soft, full of love, forgiving, kind, bright also me: can hold grudges for years, bitter as hell, already cried twice today
You’re in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed. One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself.
Case: #273402 Status: Disastrous.
I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years, and then she wasn’t scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters… I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying! I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte’s bed. Across the room underneath Daniel’s crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster. I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, I reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it again. “I’m not afraid of you monster!” She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and… She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With. Me. “Move. Over!” Charlotte hisses at me. I do. The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside. I know why Charlotte isn’t afraid of any of my monsters; she’s afraid of her own. Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out. “What the…” I cut Francis’s next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face. “If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity.” I promise to him. As Francis runs from the room he soils himself. I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. “I’ll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling.” Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed.
WELL GODAMN, WE HAVE OURSELVES A WINNER
Holy shit I’m gonna cry that’s beautiful.
🔮❌📉📌TRUMP📌📉❌🔮
A spell to take down Donald Trump. Likes charge it, Reblogs cast it.
You can meet someone tomorrow who has better intentions for you than someone you’ve known for years, time means nothing; character does.
reminder
This is the money Patrick. Reblog so money will come your way
“I’m getting back in line.”
OKAY but i just reblogged this last night and guess what i got today from my workplace’s self-audit!
THANK YOU PATRICK FOR FREE MONEY
BLESS ME PATRICK
PATRICK I HAVE NEVER STRAYED YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU
@billshitposts
*rolls sleeves* aight dude lets get me some money
Can i just *Gets in line*…there
Y'all I reblogged this and got $240 in tips in one day at work so 🤔🤔🤔