Adios
Hey.
This is going to be brief. I won’t take a lot of your time.
First, I want to begin by saying thank you for giving me moments of happiness when I needed it even though it was not real. I appreciate the “effort” and time you took to see me those random nights outside my house. For years I allowed myself to have no respect for myself and allowed you to use me, but now I am walking away from you. I am tired.
The reason that I decided to write this letter is to finally let out and go of everything I’ve held inside of me for years, things that I should have said but didn’t. This letter is not for you but for me to vent how I feel and to finally get rid of this weight that I have been carrying in my shoulders. I invested my time and energy believing that one day you would see me but that day never came. I am glad that it never did because you don’t deserve me.
It took me years to realize that I am worth so much that I don’t need you or any man to define me. I always thought I needed a guy’s affection to make me feel happy, but I was wrong. I needed to love myself to make myself happy.
I know you told me several times that you like me, and I believed you, but words are just words they don’t prove anything. I gave you several opportunities to prove me that I was wrong about you, to prove to me that you really did like me but you never took them. But I’m glad now that you didn’t, it showed me that you’re not the man for me. It’s taken me a while to realized that you’re not him, and that you’re just someone from the past that I was holding on to.
I loved you so much that I was willing to do anything for you, sneak out my house at night and have late night conversations in your car. Everything about you is what I felt for and I wish I hadn’t. You brought me so much joy but also pain in my life and realized I can’t do this anymore. This arrangement or friendship, or whatever this was to you, I can’t, not anymore. The only regret I have is that I opened my soul to you. I told you things that I never told anyone. How naïve was I to believe that you like me?
I could not allow myself to continue feel this way. You and I knew this arrangement was not going to last long and eventually one of us would walk away.
You may have hurt me, but I’m not going to let this, whatever this was, affect my future relationships. One day I will find someone who does appreciate and values me. And I really hope that one day you grow up and find someone who you can be yourself with. I really do hope find someone, I don’t hold a grudge against you; I simply wish you the best and be happy.
Gracias
