Back Up Blog

Backup to “traumasurvivors”. My name is April and I am 28 years old 🇨🇦. More info in pinned post.

[traumasurvivors]

You can buy me a coffee (here is my Ko-fi)

You can also offer support by checking out my Etsy store or checking out the stim toy business I co-own! Check out our blog @flappyhappystim. Here is the website to order products. 

I am more likely to respond to asks to my personal @aprilthegayqueen just because I try to keep this blog more content based as well as I don’t want to post triggering asks that my followers can see on this blog. 

Click here for my Carrd: Includes boundaries and about my blog.

Consider checking these out?

Here is a link to my trauma book. (There is also a free version of the book if you click here.)

Please click here for my Trauma Survivors Website.

Click for my link tree that links to all my trauma spaces and other trauma social media (like TikTok, Facebook, etc. I try to spread trauma positivity in as many places as I can.) 

I also have a trauma discord, but you’ll need to message my personal blog @aprilthegayqueen for that link just so we can keep the chat safe. :) (Still active as of August 2022!) 

Other Blogs 

Keep reading

[flappyhappystim]

I’m wishing you enough spoons to get done the things that are most important to you this week.

[traumasurvivors]

I really love the little saying that "life is tough, but so are you." And some days, that's just what I need. Those words can mean so much.

But some days, I need the opposite. Some days, I just want it to be okay to be weak. To not be tough. To fall apart, and feel everything. I realize that a lot of people say that being tough can be all those things, but I just really, really want to be told sometimes that it's okay to be weak. I don't want to be told that the definition of toughness can fit with where I'm at in life. Because the truth is that during those days, the word doesn't feel right, and nothing can convince me it does. So, I need reassurance that it's okay to not be tough.

So, I just want to say that it's okay. It's okay if you aren't tough right now. It's okay if you don't identify with that word ever. It's okay if you aren't strong. It's okay if you're weak.

You are still worthy, valuable and incredible, whether you're tough or not. You still deserve love, support and compassion. I promise.

[aprilthebookqueen]

Some of us with disabilities aren’t going to get better. In fact, with some of us, it’s entirely likely that our disability will get worse over time.

I know you mean well, but please quit telling us that it’s going to get better when we’ve tried to communicate to you that it won’t.

We aren’t being negative. We’re being realistic. And accepting that reality can be how we cope and figure out how to navigate the world with our reality.

[borderlinereminders]

It’s not up to anyone else to decide how you feel about your boundaries being crossed. Don’t let people downplay stepping over your boundaries because it’s “no big deal”.

If it’s a big deal to you, that’s valid. And you deserve to have your boundaries respected.

[borderlinereminders]

Sometimes, we're doing really well. We make so much progress, and we take strides and we feel so good about ourselves. And then those bad days and times creep up on us. I know it's hard. It really is. But those times will pass again, and while they're here, please know they don't erase the progress you've made.

[borderlinereminders]

You've survived every bad day. You've survived very rough patch. You've survived every break down, and every time you thought you couldn't go on.

You can survive right now too.

I know that you want to do more than survive. And you deserve to do more than survive. You deserve to thrive. But it's okay to just focus on surviving right now. You can get through this, and then you can figure out the rest. One step at a time.

[borderlinereminders]

Does anyone else get feels when your pet comes from another room to see you? Especially when they lay next to you? Like they were alone and made a decision to come see you. It’s so sweet.

[aprilthebookqueen]

This is a shout-out to any and all disabled people who aren’t able to be independent because of their disability.

You are still just as valuable and worthy as everyone else. It isn’t shameful to need help.

[borderlinereminders]

I didn’t get to do a lot of stuff growing up. Aside from the abuse I went through, there was also a lot of missed things a lot of children experience. Certain toys, things you do with family, or have done for you.

My partner knows it makes me sad. He makes a point of helping me experience these things now.

He knows I never got to make a gingerbread house. (I realize this isn’t the most common experience but since I have practically no experiences, it still made me sad I didn’t get to do it) he got me one of those Halloween graveyard kits that is a similar idea. We’re going to make it together!

And he’s promised me that we’re going to make gingerbread men and possibly a gingerbread house this December!

He also makes a point of tucking me in every night because he knows I didn’t get that as a child. And it’s honestly just the sweetest thing.

This is your reminder that you deserve to experience the things you missed out on. It can’t fix the past, but they can still bring you joy now. And you deserve that.

[borderlinereminders]

This is a good time to remind you that if you experience hypersexuality, you aren’t gross or dirty or anything like that.

Whether it’s a trauma response (and yes, it can be a result of trauma) or something you experience as a result of something else, you’re valid.

You’re also valid if you’re sex repulsed or even both or fluctuate between the two.

[aprilthebookqueen]

People often question the validity of my pain because I do errands, chores and etc. “How can you do that in pain?” Or “you should be resting if you’re in pain!”

And it’s like… buddy, I’m always in pain. If I rested when I was in pain, I wouldn’t get anything done.

Pain is my normal and I’ve had to learn to live with it.

[borderlinereminders]

Sometimes the emotions we feel aren’t considered “appropriate” for the situation and I want you to know that it’s okay. You aren’t bad or wrong or anything like that. Feelings are complicated. You’re also not weak if sometimes these feelings feel like an overreaction.

[borderlinereminders]

Sometimes our loved ones are mad at us. Sometimes it’s justified. But it doesn’t mean they will be mad forever. And it doesn’t mean they’ve stopped loving you.

[borderlinereminders]

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was to say “thank you” instead of “sorry”.

Due to guilt or any number of emotions, we sometimes end up apologizing when we shouldn’t.

And it can be draining to both you and the other person.

Learn to say “thank you”. This is less draining for the other person, but also can make them feel appreciated and good. And it also can help teach you that it’s okay to need support/help/etc.

“I’m so sorry I’m so terrible to be around” - > “Thank you for spending time with me!”

“I’m so sorry that I vented to you about my problems. -> “Thank you for listening to me!”

“I’m sorry that I keep messing up” -> “Thank you for being patient with me”.

[traumasurvivors]

A lot of positivity posts focus on saying that "you're not sensitive, don't worry!" and that's a great message. I get it.

But the thing is, some of us are sensitive. And I just want to say that it's okay! It's okay if you're sensitive, and you don't need to stop being sensitive. You can figure out ways to manage while being sensitive.

[traumasurvivors]

Your trauma doesn’t deserve the credit for you “getting stronger” or “being strong”. You deserve that.

And another important point is that some people don’t feel strong. They feel weak and they are still completely valid.

(If you cope with your trauma by saying it made you stronger, you're valid. This post is just against others pushing that narrative on other people.)