Not all who fangirl are lost

27 | genderqueer+transmasc | pansexual | mentally ill | INTP | Hufflepuff with some Ravenclaw hanging around | Here there be fandoms and unapologetic shipping, and a fuckload of social activism

[tlirsgender]

Tired of dumbass nihilist shit. Been there done that Everything matters actually. Like just factually every god damn thing effects Something even if it's not anything huge or obvious. Things cannot exist without having any impact on anything else

[tlirsgender]

Saw a post in some space tags recently that was like. "The galaxy with the earth" "the galaxy without the earth" with the same picture twice and "the universe doesn't care" and that's Fucking Stupid! Ohhh you can't see this planet from that far away.. Shut up. Even ignoring everything going on On the planet, our gravity effects the orbit of the rest of the shit around here. You can't see the moon from that far away either but its gravity still pulls the tides. Eat my ass

[tlirsgender]

"Ohh in the grand scheme of things-" what about the little scheme of things? Huh? Ever thought about that, sadboy? The big picture is made up of brush strokes, fool

[naamahdarling]

“You can’t see the moon from that far away either but its gravity still pulls the tides. Eat my ass” is like walking across a pristine mountain meadow and stepping straight into a rake.

[basementtreasure]

been thinking about appearances and stuff

[donnatr0y]

Damian: father, if an assassin killed you, I would spend the rest of my days hunting them and their loved ones down

Bruce: Damian, if you asked, I would kill everyone in this room without hesitation

Dick: holy shit. that was the most emotion any of you have expressed in three weeks

Jason slamming down his fork: can we have a NORMAL DINNER WITHOUT ANY EMOTIONS FOR FUCKING ONCE.

[ohcaptainmycaptain1918]

Remember that one time when they almost had the Gauntlet off of Thanos’s hand and the rest of the movie would’ve never happened but then Quill went and fucked it up for everyone

[jaune-chat]

‘Cause that’s what happens when one of the few people Peter has left dies and he just gets the news.  Just like when Tony learned that a man he’d considered a friend knew his parents had been assassinated by the Winter Soldier and then tried to murder a Hydra war prisoner whose face he’d just watch crush his mother’s throat.  I’m not saying either didn’t fuck up that scenario.  I’m not saying that Peter Quill didn’t have immeasurably higher stakes.  But in the last couple of crazy years he’d been able to channel that rage and loss and grief at the loss of his mother to saving Xandar, and then keeping his Celestial father from taking over thousands of worlds.  I’m sure Peter thought, for a hot second, that maybe because he’d failed Gamora once, he sure as hell wouldn’t fail her twice.  The others were holding him down, he had a shot to take that revenge, use that emotion, and save the rest of his family.

It didn’t work.  It messed up on a scale that’s universe-wide.  I thought it showed our short-sighted human impulses and the fallibility of heroes: everyone else’s stake in defeating Thanos was important (and in Tony’s case in particular, years in coming), but Thanos made Quill’s the most immediate.  

Also if you think that Dr. Strange didn’t foresee Peter Quill rage-shooting Thanos during 99% of those 14 million+ future scenarios, I’ve got a bridge to sell you.  

[ohcaptainmycaptain1918]

For the record, I DO agree with every bit of this response ^^^ My original post was mostly just for jokes :P

[kirksfattitties]

i love how one of the biggest themes in the show and the movies is that kirk is in love with the enterprise and that the enterprise is the only lady for him and is his only real love

and then in the third movie he self-destructs the enterprise, his true love, in search for spock (but don’t read into that because it could have some impligaytions)

[incorrect-batfamily-quotes]

Superman: *clears his throat*

Batman:

Superman: *gets out of the Batmobile*

Batman:

Superman: *awkwardly pats the roof* Well. That was a long, silent car ride. Now I know how Dick feels.

[tmntchickadee]

You know any of his children would have music blaring and talking whether he contributes or not

[incorrect-batfamily-quotes]

Nightwing: *bops his head and taps his fingers on the dashboard to the beat of NSYNC’s “It’s Gonna Be Me”*

Nightwing: *takes an earphone out of his ear* What was that?

Batman:

Nightwing:

Batman:

Nightwing:

Batman: *clears his throat*

Nightwing: Oh, I thought I saw your mouth move.

Nightwing: *jams the earphone back in* A man can dream.

Nightwing: *checks the digital map and sighs* Five miles to gooo. Why do supervillain lairs have to be so far?

Batman:

Batman: Sync with bluetooth, code “A37”.

NSYNC: *starts blaring on the Batmobile speakers*

Nightwing: *takes off both earphones and grins at Bruce*

Batman: *grins*

[incorrect-batfamily-quotes]

Red Hood: *gets in and slams the Batmobile door excitedly* Thanks for picking me up, Big Bro *takes off his helmet and shakes his hair dry* Some kid from Crime Alley stole one of my tires, pretty impressive, actually – *rummaging through his jacket pockets for a USB drive* Plus there’s this cool new album that Roy wants us to check out, so turn that 90’s boyband crap off for just a sec – Hey, want me to transfer to the – the –

Red Hood: *finally notices Batman on the passenger seat and sullenly says* Yo.

Batman: *grunts*

Red Hood: *rolls his eyes*

Nightwing: *sees his brother’s reflection on the rearview mirror and grins* If I’d told you, would you have gotten in?

Red Hood: *muttering* Tss. Could’ve walked home. I have safehouses everywhere.

Nightwing: *cups an ear* What was that?

Red Hood: *crosses his arms* Nothing! Just shut up and drive.

Nightwing: *smirks*

Red Hood:

Batman:

Red Hood: Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you’d be –

Batman:

Red Hood: *looks out the window* Never mind.

Batman:

Nightwing:

Red Hood: *tapping his foot awkwardly* Sooo… You let Golden Boy drive this thing. Neat.

Batman:

Nightwing: *trying to stifle a giggle*

Red Hood: Dick, you can just drop me off right here –

Batman: No.

Red Hood: *frowns*

Batman: *extends a palm towards Jason* The drive.

Red Hood:

Red Hood: *reluctantly drops it on Bruce’s palm*

Batman: *plugs it into the console*

Nightwing: *to the Comm Link, smiling from ear to ear* Alfred? Yeah. Extra plate on the dinner table, please.

[incorrect-batfamily-quotes]

Thirteen songs from “Harper’s Mix” later…

Nightwing: So lemme get this straight: You were just on my case for listening to 90′s music, and now you’re going gaga over –

Red Hood: *skips to the next track* Ssh, Goldie. This one?

Batman: *listens to the intro for 1.5 seconds*

Batman: “Unchained Melody”. 1955. Todd Duncan –

Red Hood: Wow.

Nightwing: Don’t you mean the Righteous Brothers?

Batman: – sang the vocals for the film “Unchained”.

Red Hood: You are officially old.

Batman: *grinning wistfully* My mother used to hum it to me.

Nightwing:

Red Hood:

Batman: *still grinning wistfully*

Red Hood: *clears his throat* That’s, um, swell. Hey, if you get this next one, I’ll concede and declare you King of –

Radio: *skipping tracks randomly*

Red Hood: What the –

Radio: *rewinds and fast-forwards by itself, then plays “Basket Case” by Green Day*

Red Hood: That wasn’t even on there!

Radio: *in a chipmunk voice* Jason Peter Todd, also known as the Red Hood, we summon you –

Red Hood: *points a gun at the console* AaaAArRggh –

Nightwing: *swerving the Batmobile slightly* Calm down, Little Wing!

Batman: Timothy, enough.

Radio: *erupts into belly laughter*

Radio: *wheezing* Y-you sh-should’ve seen your face, Jay. *sighs contentedly* What time are you guys getting here? I’m bored and hungry.

Red Hood: And dead meat. *crushes the tiny camera suctioned to the window*

Radio: Yeah, yeah. Drive faster, Dick –

Alfred [in the background]: Absolutely not!

Radio: You heard the man. Red Robin out! *static*

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Happy to, @mysticalmeowler.​ 

[incorrect-batfamily-quotes]

Red Robin: *sinking deeper into the passenger seat of the Batmobile*

Red Robin: *sighs contentedly* Just me and the Batman. It’s been a while, huh? Remind me again why I haven’t been hitching a sweet, sweet ride with you these past few months?

Batman:

Red Robin: Could it be because of your endearing silence? Nah. It can’t be that. We both enjoy it.

Batman: *smirks*

Red Robin: Perhaps I simply don’t need to? I mean, the Redbird’s great and all, but this is the freakin’ Batmobile.

Batman: *fondly shakes his head ever-so-subtly that if you blinked you’d have missed it*

Red Robin: *presses a button on the dashboard, opening a compartment full of CDs* How about your nostalgia for… outdated tech?

Batman: *gives him a pointed look*

Red Robin: *holds his hands up as if in surrender* Hey, no judgement.

Batman: *swiftly swerves the Batmobile into a dark alley*

Red Robin: What *going through the CDs* do we have *takes a couple out* here?

Batman:

Red Robin: “Cassandra’s Ballet Recital”. Neat. Did you get to see it?

Batman: *nods fondly*

Red Robin: Me, too. I was in the middle of chasing a killer android, though, so I had to watch it from the rooftop of the opera house.

Red Robin: *rummaging* Hmm. “Dick’s Mix” – way to be creative, Richard – “Classical Concertos for Teens” – which I assume belongs to the brat – “Suicide Squad” film soundtrack – Jason’s current obsession –

Red Robin: Is this Duke’s? *holds up a yellow-colored CD* I’m taking this *stuffs it into his backpack* I dig his jam – “Oracle” – Wait, wait, wait… Don’t tell me –

Batman: She doesn’t know –

Red Robin: *already stuffing it into his backpack* Mine! Just in case, y’know, I need to blackmail either of you. Her voice is pretty awesome, though. Watchtower acoustics really did her a favor.

Batman: *nods in agreement*

Red Robin: *back to rummaging* What else, what else… “Cats”? Really, Bruce? Is Selina even into broadway?

Batman: *shrugs*

Red Robin: “Clark’s Country Playlist”. Superman carpools to warzones with you?

Batman: I play it here, he listens from above. Says it helps him focus.

Red Robin: *rubbing his chin* Maybe I could try that with Kon… 

Red Robin: “Purple Haze” – witty, Steph, but I don’t think you even knows who Jimi Hendrix is – “Oldies but Goodies” – which is, coincidentally, Alfie’s name on my phone, ha ha – *reaches the bottom of the compartment*

Red Robin: I guess… that’s got it.

Batman: Tim…

Red Robin: *staring blankly ahead* I remember now –

Batman: Tim, I –

Red Robin: We were on the way to the Iceberg Lounge to bust Penguin and his crew, and I was getting so pumped that I jammed my CD into the player, but you took it out 10 seconds into “London Calling”, crushed my CD with one freakin’ hand, and threw it out –

Batman: *swerves the Batmobile to a stop* Red Robin –

Red Robin: – then we got into some argument over how stupid my music was, so I got out and - and –

Batman: TIM.

Red Robin: What?!

Batman: We’re here.

Red Robin: *sighs wearily and grabs his bo staff from the backseat* Yeah, okay, I’m sorry. Let’s go kick some criminal butt. 

Batman: You won’t need that.

Red Robin: *frowning in confusion* What? *looks out the window* And why are we at the Wayne Memorial Theater?

Batman: I asked Lucius to help me put a little something together.

Red Robin: I don’t –

Batman: It’s not that I didn’t like your music, Tim. Just… bad mood, bad timing.

Red Robin: … The anniversary of your parents’ death.   

Batman: *nods solemnly*

Red Robin: Bruce, I…

Batman: I hope you still like “London Calling”.

Red Robin: Yeah, but –

Batman: Because we’re about to watch a 4D screening of The Clash in concert.

Red Robin: We’re not… patrolling?

Batman: How else was I supposed to get you to hitch a sweet, sweet ride with me?

Red Robin: *haphazardly wiping tears from his eyes* Wow. Great timing, allergies.

Batman: *ruffles Tim’s hair* Let’s go, son.

[incorrect-batfamily-quotes]

Robin: *puts his backpack on the backseat of the Batmobile, does a last minute check of its contents, and sits on the passenger seat*

Robin: You and Kent’s dad don’t need to linger, Father. Just drop us off at our HQ and be on your way.

Batman:

Robin: *checking the contents of his utility belt compartments one by one* Oh, wait! Pennyworth forgot the – Oh, no, he didn’t – Shurikens, grappling hooks, brass knuckles – Ugh! These dumb chocolate-covered “gummy bears” that Superboy insists I carry with me – *doesn’t notice a USB drive fall from one of them*

Batman: *picks up the said USB drive* Hn.

Robin: *still talking more to himself than to Bruce* – and I’m fairly certain that I’ve sufficiently sharpened my knives, unless Todd’s device was subpar –

USB drive: *with the phrase “bearable noise” scribbled on its surface*

Robin: – make sure to feed Goliath before releasing him. He knows which island we’ll be on and will follow as previously instructed –

Batman: *plugs it into the console*

Speakers: *start playing… a lullabye*

Robin: – and tell Drake to stay out of –

Robin: 

Robin: *angrily disconnects the drive and slumps down on his seat* You weren’t supposed to hear that.

Batman: Damian, I –

Robin: *looks out the window* No one is supposed to hear that.

Robin: *muttering* Stupid, stupid *while banging his head against the headrest*

Batman:

Batman: *reaches out to block Damian’s head* I’m sorry, son.

Robin: *slaps his hand away*Just drive.

Batman:

Robin:

Batman:

Robin:

Robin: *quietly* When I slept over at the farm, Mrs. Kent sang it to Jon while she was putting him to bed.

Batman: *glances at him*

Robin: It was annoying.

Robin: Childish.

Robin: *lip quivering* Weak.

Robin: *covers his face with his arms and bends over his knees, his body trembling* 

Batman: *places a hand on his back* You’re not any of that, son.

Batman: But once in a while, it’s okay to be all of it.

Robin: *looks up at his father and wipes his eyes with his cape, sniffling*

Batman: *reaches for the USB drive where it fell near the console and plugs it back in*

Speakers: *play the lullabye again*

Batman: Besides, it’s been a while since I’ve listened to something this relaxing.

Robin: *takes one last look at his father before looking out the window, glassy-eyed and grinning*

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

@tmntchickadee , thanks for the idea. As you can see, I, um, ran with it. I was going for funny, but I think it ended up more “therapeutic”. I love music. It’s intimate. It can help heal. And I wanted each of my favorite Batkids to have a moment that’s uniquely theirs with their father. (Bruce could use them, too.)

Sincerely,

a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes

[incorrect-batfamily-quotes]

Alfred: *dabbing sweat off his forehead as he emerges from under the Batmobile*

Alfred: *swipes a finger on the glistening hood, then grins with satisfaction at the absence of dust on it*

Alfred: *raises an eyebrow as he spots a flickering, red light on the backseat within the vehicle*

Alfred: *gets inside to check it out and finds that it’s being emitted by a tiny bulb wrapped in a note, which he spreads open as his eyebrow goes impossibly higher*

Note: *in cursive* “Enjoy the ride”

Seat: *jerks, pushing him from behind the knees, causing him to sit down, then reclines itself*

Batmobile: *reconfigures itself into a stretch limousine*

Dick: *entering with a tray of cookies* 🎵You came along just like a song and brighten my day –

Alfred: Master Dick, what on earth – ?

Barbara: *handing him a cup of tea* 🎵Who would have believed that you where part of a dream –

Kate: *tips an imaginary hat off to Alfred* 🎵-- Now it all seems light years away –

Jason: *tapping the dashboard rhythmically* 🎵And now you know I can’t smile without you –

Damian: *revving up the engine* 🎵I can’t smile –

Jon: *squeezes in with Damian at the driver’s side, to the latter’s utter annoyance* 🎵-- without you!

Steph: 🎵I can’t laugh *cackles* and I can’t siiiiinnnngggggg -

Ace and Titus: 🎵*howl in unison*

Tim: *zombie-walking after Steph*🎵I’m finding it hard… ZzZz –

Jason: *slaps him awake*

Tim: – to do anything!

Duke: *wide-eyed in amazement as he piles into the limo with the others*🎵You see I feel sad –

Duke: Hold up, I’m sorry, how are we all fitting into this thing right – Oof!

Luke: *elbowing him* 🎵-- when you’re sad –

Harper: *finger-gunning at Alfred* 🎵I feel glad –

Cass: *gives Alfred a soft hug* 🎵-- when you’re glad –

Selina: 🎵If you only knew what he’s *points at Bruce and rolls her eyes* going through –

Bruce: *clears his throat*

Bruce: *in a gruff and monotone voice* Alfred, we just can’t smile without you.

Clark: *lifts the corners of Bruce’s mouth into a grin with his fingers*

Alfred: *wiping joyful tears off his eyes* A vacation! I’ll be gone a week, my ridiculous children. You’ll all survive, as always.

Alfred: And might I remind you that this was your idea?

~ • ~ • ~ • ~

For some reason, I was thinking of Bruce singing to Alfred and Barry Manilow’s hit came to mind. Thank you, @tea-coffee-cats-law !

[eroscestlavie]

chris hemsworth is like a DnD character whose class 100% does not require a high charisma stat but he put it as his highest stat anyways like “hmm I think it will be useful (:” so he just walks around as a muscle-bound brawler who can also inexplicably get anything he wants from anyone by smiling at them 

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Him and Terry Crews

[madmaudlingoes]

Terry Crews: high-level fighter who also multiclassed into bard, for some reason.

Chris Hemsworth: that barbarian who loves to knit.

[bowtomypointlesswords]

Hugh Jackman: high level bard who was forced to take on barbarian when the party didn’t have a tank and now just wants to sing but he’s been the tank for so long it’s anyone sees him as.

[cumbercookiebatchs]

The first time they kissed, Enjolras nearly fainted.

Grantaire's skin smelled of smoke, and paint, of that rich amber  incense he burned whenever he painted.

The combination of it all was so overwhelmingly good, and Enjolras's knees gave out as he held on Grantaire's curls for dear life, his mouth devoured by Grantaire's devious tongue.

Enjolras's head had never felt so light, pushed up between the wall and Grantaire's larger body. The feel of those strong arms around him had Enjolras squirming, just to test their tight, tight, tight embrace.

Enjolras could do nothing but moan.

Moan and kiss  back, forgetting all about breathing, forgetting all about everything but Grantaire, until the lack of air became so painful they had do pull back, gasping and oh sweet Lord please have mercy-

Grantaire's lips were cherry red and wet, swollen and so, so far away, his smell was fucking intoxicating and Enjolras ached for him. He heard himself whine for the utter injustice of it, because Grantaire didn't have the right to be this good while being so distant from Enjolras's body.

Such things needed solutions. Thus, Enjolras plastered himself on Grantaire chest, tugging at his curls and whining for him to please, please Grantaire just kiss me again.

And

Let's be honest.

There was no chance Grantaire could've denied such sweet a request.

[chaoticautie]

me: *saying "WHAT?" seven times to someone giving me coherent face-to-face verbal directions*

also me: *hears a faint noise and randomly lifts head like a deer* hey did u guys hear that??? wtf how could you not hear it-

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

Gotta love an ADHD/Autism solidarity post

[thebootydiaries]

every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

[thebootydiaries]

was i okay

[owivizzle-deactivated20190829]

God I really wish carrying stuffed animals around with you was socially acceptable

[mitch-that-bitch]

I don’t mean to take over a post, but I actually did a project on this for my sociology of deviance class in college!

I carried a large stuffed rabbit whenever I went in public for about a week to observe the reaction of others. The point of the project was to do something harmless yet unusual to see if the action would be considered deviant, in which case someone had to try to correct or shame the behavior.

Long story short, nobody tried to correct my behavior. I was asked about it casually, had a few lingering stares thrown my way and when I was with my boyfriend, shop employees would direct questions to him instead of me. However, nobody refused to assist me when I was alone in a store, nobody said anything about the rabbit besides “oh, thats a cute bunny!” and I attended college classes without even a teacher questioning it.

In conclusion, it is socially acceptable to carry a stuffed animal, its just not a societal norm. ^^

[nerdgasrnz]

#for followers with a big anxiety or self hate problem #bring a friend with you (via @kingdom-for-muses)

[so1987-deactivated20230102]

DOING IT

[thebibliosphere]

My friend gave me a stuffed monkey plushy when I was struggling with uni, and I took him everywhere for like four years, usually velcrod to my backpack. No one said a damn thing, except my renaissance professor who saw it one day in the hallway and cracked the fuck up because I had a literal monkey on my back and he just looked at me like, “oh god, me too”. I used to leave him on desks during classes and exams (the monkey, not my prof). It was my reminder that someone cared if I was coping. But more than that it was soothing to have something to fidget with that wasn’t a pen. I used to ping those fucking things across the room I was so agitated. Harder to hurt people with a projectile stuffed monkey.

[kripke-is-my-king]

I got what I thought was a normal screen cleaning kit for my computer while I was in college. Much to my delight, instead of a little washcloth or whatever, the kit came with a tiny stuffed pig. 

So I carried this pig in my backpack all through college, periodically taking it out, spraying my screen, and using the pig to wipe it off. 

Now, I kept the pig in the side pocket of my bag where he was completely visible.

Then one day in screenwriting class I pulled him out to wipe my screen. 

One of the guys sitting next to me looked appalled. “You’re wiping it off with your little stuffed animal??” 

I explained what the pig was. 

Turns out, the guy had noticed it and just thought it was adorable I carried a stuffed animal with me every day. He’d never mentioned it before. 

Honestly, people do not care, and will not say anything. No matter the reason for your little stuffed animal friend. 

[marcys-underground]

And if you’re still really nervous about it keep a stuffed animal keychain on your bag. I have a cute little frog that stays on my backpack so when work gets stressful I can squeeze it.

[peanutbutterbananasmoothie-deac]

For my anxious followers.

[destinyiartthou]

I love this so much. It reminds me that people can just be accepting, and if they aren’t - it’s by their choice. It isn’t a default.

[fangirltothefullest]

I’ve seen people in college wearing pjs and art students always carry weird atuff. I saw a person in a suit by the math building holding what looked like a keychain with three if those fuzzy ball things in different colours and no one said a word. Bring your plushies and friends with you! Heck, if you have an office job you can bring a friend with you and keep them on your desk and if you work gets you can find a friend on a keychain and keep them on your belt, no one will care and you’re little friend can help you feel better!

Don’t let society bully you into changing. Inagead, lets change society into being accepting.

[awkwardtrekphotos]

[thequantumqueer]

The Witcher (2019)

[ashes-and-ashes]

Sirius comes back covered in blood.

His whole body aches, sharp pains shooting through his side as he fumbles with the key and the lock. The night air is cool against his skin, the stars seeming so very bright as he cracks the front door open and slips in, locking it carefully behind him.

He’s trying to be as quiet as possible but even he can’t stop the small groan that escapes his mouth as he toes off his shoes, tries to remove his jacket and then thinks better of it. The kitchen is just down the hall and he head over, careful not to let any of the blood drop to the floor.

He finds a small dish towel, holds it under the faucet and turns it on, letting the water seep through his fingers and down the drain. It stings the cuts on his hands but he ignores it; he’s been through worse and right now he’s worried that he might have bled through his shirt.

With steady hands Sirius cuts the water off, almost collapsing at the kitchen table. There’s a plate of cold food lying there - leftover Indian it looks like, and Sirius digs in gratefully.

By the time he’s finished his food it’s almost 3 in the morning, the blood long since dried on his back. Sirius wants to close his eyes and fall asleep here, on the table but James and Lily thought he had come home 4 hours ago when his official shift ended. He grits his teeth, forcing himself to his feet and brings the dish over to the sink.

He’s putting the cutlery away when the lights cut on suddenly. Sirius jumps, his hand automatically going to his wand at his side, even as his ribs screamed at the motion.

“Sirius?” James blinks up at him blearily. His hair is messy as always, all over his face, in pajama pants and a ratty t-shirt. “What are you doing?”

“Eating,” Sirius says. Oh shit.

James frowns, eyes taking in the dishes and the cutlery and the eaten take-out food. “Yeah, we left some for you for after your shift. That was hours ago, though? Weren’t you back at eleven? Shifts are only four hours.”

Sirius swallows, hard, mind desperately racing as he struggled to come up with an excuse. “I was...at Remus’,” he says, keeping his voice as smooth as possible.

“Sirius,” James’ voice is gentle. “Remus won’t be back for another month or so.”

“I know.” Sirius closes his eyes against the sharp pain in his chest, the echoing reminder that Remus was gone. “I just...his stuff...”

“You’re lying,” James says quietly. His eyes are steely, arms folded across his chest. “I can tell. You always play with your hair when you lie.”

Sirius freezes - his hands are in his hair, raking anxiously through the curls. There’s bits of dried blood tangled up the the strands and he frowns at the crimson caught underneath his fingernails.

James’ eyes go right to it.

“Shit,” Sirius says as James’ eyes snap around the kitchen; the small streak of blood on the counter, on the glass, in Sirius’ hair and on his jacket and vivid red where he had missed a spot on his neck. His eyes finally settle on Sirius’ chest, right through the leather and the cotton as if he could see the gaping wound on his rib.

He can practically hear the betrayal in James’ voice when he finally speaks. “You’re taking my shifts again.”

Sirius doesn’t bother to deny it. He slumps back against the table, stifling a groan at the pain in his ribs. James is at his side in an instant, arms wrapped firmly around Sirius’ shoulders as he eases him into a chair.

The gentleness of his grip contrasts with the burning anger in James’ eyes. “I told you not to. Jesus fuck, Sirius, I told you not to!”

Sirius is too tired to muster up a response. He just sits there, his eyes half closed, pain shooting through his side as James slowly peels the leather from his skin.

“Fuck,” James breathes, as Sirius’ shirt comes and cold air washes over his torso. “What the fuck was this?”

Sirius shurgs with a nonchalance he didn’t feel. “Death Eater. Some sort of hex, probably. I think it’s burned.”

“You think?” James lets out a low laugh. “The skin’s gone black around the edges, Sirius.”

“Oh.”

James is pissed. Sirius can see it; the set of his shoulders, the burn of his eyes, the way his fingers clenched on the edge of the table as he picked up his wand. “I told you,” he grits out - Sirus winces at the cold press of wood against his wound. “I’m a part of the Order as well.”

“Never said you weren’t,” Sirius grits out; the pain is getting worse now, James’ wand a line of cold fire on his flesh.

“Then let me do my damn job.” James’ face is grim. “How did you even trick me like that - I got the shift schedule - “ His eyes widened. “No. You gave me the shift schedule. You changed the shift times.”

When Sirius doesn’t reply James throws his hands up into the air. “Bastard. You lied.”

If Sirius wasn’t so tired he would have denied it, come up with another excuse. But he’s sleepy and exhausted and so, so cold, James’ voice like metal against stone in his ear.

“Can it James,” he mutters; James looks like he was slapped. “Just - just shut up alright? I’m fine - it doesn’t matter anyways. I’m replaceable.”

James’ hands go white where he gripped onto the table, the bite of his fingers curling into the hard wood. “No you fucking aren’t. Sirius, what the hell are you doing? You’re going to get yourself killed!”

“I’m fine!”

James shakes his head. “Bullshit. You’re hurt and exhausted and taking two shifts at once - “

“Three,” Sirius says softly.

James stares at him. “Say that one more fucking time.”

“I’m not going to let Lily out there am I?”

“You,” James grits out, “Are an idiot. An absolute idiot. You have got to be fucking joking me.”

Sirius just lets his head fall back to rest against his chair, rubbing a weary hand over his face.

“Asshole,” James hisses, with soft venom that Sirius has never heard before. “You bastard. How dare you - this is my fight too - “

“There’s plenty of Death Eaters to go around,” Sirius mumbles; he’s staring up into the brightness of the ceiling lights, head pounding with every cutting word of James’.

“That’s not the fucking point.” James slams his hand on the table; the echoing sound makes Sirius jump. “How dare you. How dare you lie to me, right to my face. I told you - I told you to let me handle this and you went behind my fucking back.”

“Yeah,” Sirius says, his temper flaring. “Yeah, I did. And you know what? I’d do it again? I’d do it all again beside I am keeping you safe. I am making sure that Harry grows up with a father, and doesn’t have a shitty childhood like I did!”

“That’s not the fucking point!” James throws his arms out. He was more angry than Sirius has ever seen him, eyes blazing with rage. “Jesus Sirius - you think I’d want to be saved if it means you’d die?”

“You think I would want to live knowing that I could have saved you?”

James shakes his head, a mocking smile twisting into his lips. “What does Remus think about this?”

The words are like a bucket of icy water to Sirius’ face. He doesn’t realize he’s on his feet until he feels the blood flowing from his side and knows he’s bleeding again. “You know what? We both agreed, actually, before he left. That Harry was our priority, and that if it came down to it, we’d sacrifice each other to save him.”

James looks like he’d been slapped, a mixture of gratitude and relief and sorrow dancing over his face. He swallowed, hard, eyes shining with unshed tears. “Thank you,” he says hoarsely. “But not me. Don’t die for me. I don’t want you to. Sirius - you’re my brother. You can’t - “

“What would you rather have,” Sirius says softly. “Me? Or Harry and Lily, that perfect life you always dreamed of?”

James shakes his head, his face twisted. “Don’t. Don’t make me choose like that. I - I can’t - “

Sirius just offers him a crooked smile. “Don’t worry,” he says. “I chose for you.”

[sirussly]

[jediknobi]

“It takes a special sort of bravery and even greater naïveté to stay kind in a world made of cruelty.” — should I pity you, or envy you? | m.a.w

[nyctosaurid]

not 2 exaggerate but the good place’s thesis of “if the modern pressures of life were removed, we would inherently seek out opportunities to learn and become better and kinder people” is a more interesting and valuable thing to say about society than anything that’s ever been said about cell phones

[hexane-harpy]

This^^^

[marithlizard]

This! 

[piroco]

AO3 offer a comfortable, no payment, ad-free service in exchange for donations specifically to KEEP THE WEBPAGE UP AND RUNNING and people still complain?!