Humor Me

Ashley Trestte, 24 year old trying to learn how to adult

[twitblr]

The memories

[joshuu-nutboi-higashikata-deact]

[neurospicybirb]

Fun fact! Water actually turns “blood red” when it is contaminated by sulfur creating sulfuric acid. And scientists have discovered that around the time of the plagues a volcano went off that disturbed Egypt’s environment. So the plagues are scientifically proven. The other parts of the plagues are explained by the sulfuric acid river making the animals leave the river and escaping into the human population.

[vampiregirl2345]

WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME THE PLAGUES WERE PROVEN

[kvothe-kingkiller]

if anyone wants a full list heres how they happened:

basically they all stem from a massive eruption of a volcano on the island of santorini off the coast of greece. the ash then floated over to egypt which kickstarted the plagues

1) blood: the ash carried the mineral cinnabar, which has the capability of turning water red

2) frogs: the ash also had many toxic and acidic substances so naturally, all the frogs are gonna flee the river

3) lice: given what was going on insects would have burrowed into dead animals/peoples skin and laid eggs, which then hatched

4) beasts: everything is getting poisoned from the ash and toxins, causing animals to freak the fuck out/die

5) pestilence: toxins again

6) boils: the ash would have caused storms that carried acid rain which when it fell, would irritate peoples skin causing boils

7) hail: the storm again

8) locusts: again with the insects and the amount of dead bodies and such which attract more insects. a lotta insects basically.

9) darkness: the ash covered the sky, blocking out the sun

10) slaying of the first born: given that children’s bodies were found in higher numbers than others, some archeologists think they may have been sacrificed to stop all the destruction, but they aren’t 100% sure about that. this is just me but I would say another possibility is that babies/kids are a lot more susceptible to toxins and shit, so while an adult may have been fine or gotten a bit sick, it might have been very dangerous/deadly for kids or babies

the volcano would also attest for the parting of the sea weirdly enough. the red sea was in fact the ‘reed’ sea, and was very shallow, probably waist deep or so. given the amount of shit dumped into the ocean from the volcano, this wouldve caused a tsunami to head towards egypt. the water would get sucked out from the reed sea right before the tsunami hit, letting people pass it easily, then the actual tsunami would hit, fuckin up anyone who tried to follow.

another theory is that the red water was caused by algae, which would cause the frogs and stuff to jump out as well. the algae also carried substances toxic to animals so if they ingested any they’d get sick and die, so more insects. in this theory there was a sand storm coincidentally that caused the rest

some sources: X X

[wigmund]

The volcano wasn’t ON Santorini - it WAS Santorini, then called Thera. It completely blew away the Minoan settlements on the island and was one of the largest eruptions in human history. 

The tsunamis from the Theran eruption devastated Crete, weakening the then-powerful Minoan civilization, leaving them open to being invaded by the Mycenaeans.

The volcanic winter it created devastated crops in China leading to the fall of the Xia Dynasty. 

The abrupt and catastrophic loss of the people of Thera may have also inspired the myths about Atlantis.

[orville-redenbacher-space-hero]

this is blowing my fucking mind

[whitepeopletwitter]

[liminael]

same.

[art--felt]

I remember first learning that you can cry from any emotion, that emotions are chemical levels in your brain and your body is constantly trying to maintain equilibrium. so if one emotion sky rockets, that chemical becomes flagged and signals the tear duct to open as an exit to release that emotion packaged neatly within a tear. Everything made sense after learning that. That sudden stability of your emotions after crying. How crying is often accompanied by the inability to feel any other emotion in that precise moment. And it is especially beautiful knowing that it is even possible to experience so much beauty or love or happiness that your body literally can’t hold on to all of it. So what I’ve learned is that crying signifies that you are feeling as much as humanely possible and that is living to the fullest extent. So keep feeling and cry often and as much as needed

[wishyroses]

SHIT WHAT

[teal-deer]

Also let yourself cry. It really is a biochemical release valve to dump out all the chemicals that make you feel stuff.

I honestly think one reason men in western culture have so many problems is that we don’t let them cry, and literally their brains get stuffed with all this crap that doesn’t have a release valve. Men, please cry. You’ll feel better. It’s ok. You are not lesser for taking care of your health.

[freewillandphysics]

This is why tears from different emotions look different under an electron microscope. They’re literally made up of different things. 

Happy tears are structurally different than sad tears than angry tears than overwhelmed tears etc.

[samthe-onion-nigga]

I looked it up, cuz that tidbit was dope to me and..

[skyakafreckles]

Never would have known

[lemonlyman-dot-com]

Ah yes, the emotions: grief, change, onion, humor

[folktaylor]

i love villanelle so much

[blazepress]

Tortoise skeletons are the weirdest skeletons.

[crimsoncatacombs-deactivated201]

I never wondered what they looked like before. Wow. I literally just gasped. How neat!

[bigbootyavocados-deactivated201]

Which is another reason you shouldn’t pick them up by their top shell

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Everyone knows that you shouldn’t pick up a tortoise or turtle by their shell since their backbone is fused with it, but often it’s not really an easy thing to visualize how that works. Here’s a really cool image for that… 

[twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck-dea]

Almost NOBODY knows this, because people don’t bother to simply show you a fucking image like this in school so before i saw this on tumblr i thought a turtle was simply a loose animal in a shell like a snail

[jonathonharker]

guys lmao I went back to watch some old law and order svu episodes and there’s this one scene where a girl claims her alibi is she went to see the phantom of the opera and to confirm whether or not she’s telling the truth the detective goes, ‘oh yeah I love phantom of the opera it’s so sad when the guy goes to prison for stealing bread’ and the girl AGREES and later he’s telling his partner ‘yeah she’s lying there’s no bread in phantom’

[plainclothes2025]

[catchymemes]

[asia1ei]

past tense of william shakespeare? william shookspeare

[the-cloud-road]

Wouldiwas Shookspeared

[canthinkofaurl-deactivated20221]

delete this

[nerdygirlnoodles]

Okay, but seriously on the topic of straight people being so overly concerned about their children being exposed to homosexuality…

As some of you know, I am a makeup artist in a holistic beauty boutique in a very wealthy area of eastern New York. The week before Halloween I was offering simple costume makeup designs for both adults and children. So my last client of the evening was a 15 year old girl who came in to get her makeup done for the Halloween dance at her school. I was enjoying a conversation with both the girl and her mother when suddenly the topic of transgender came up. I got a little nervous because I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when I hear people speaking negatively about these sorts of topics and as I mentioned, my store is in a very upscale, white, conservative area…

Anyway, the girl starts telling us that her friend prefers to be a boy now. She says it very simply and comfortably and it made me happy to see her talk about it as if it was really no big deal.

Her mother says

“How does she even know what transgender is though? She’s a little young to be making a decision like that. I really think the media is taking things too far with all this gay stuff. I’m not against it or anything, but didn’t you just tell me two boys in your class are dating too?”

The girl said that yes, two boys she knew were dating and another boy she knew was gay also. (And she also corrected the pronouns her mother used for her friend)

“I don’t mind that she knows that homosexuality is,” the mother said. “But I don’t think it should be taught at such a young age. Did you know it’s on Disney channel now?”

It took me a moment to respond, I just kept painting the girl’s face until I could figure out what I wanted to say.

“Well,” I said. “We tend to teach heterosexuality literally from the time a child is born. Most children’s books and movies are even centered around a romance of some kind like a Prince and a Princess for example. There’s rarely a children’s movie that comes out where the main male and female character don’t end up marrying each other in the end. If we don’t have a problem flooding our children’s minds with heterosexuality from the time they are able to sit up and watch a movie on their own, what is so wrong with showing them two boys or two girls being in love? We aren’t showing them sex. We aren’t showing them anything inappropriate. Since when is love inappropriate? If we show them love in all it’s forms (be it gay or straight) from an early age, they will see that it’s all perfectly normal and natural and maybe we can finally put homophobic the past…”

The woman considered this for a second and then said “I just feel like they see it and then they start to think that they might be too.”

“And maybe they are. But isn’t it better for them to know that it’s okay? They aren’t hurting anyone.”

Then the girl said. “No ones going around just thinking they are gay because they know what gay is, mom. I know what a chicken is, that doesn’t mean I’m going to wake up tomorrow and start clucking.”

I loved this kid. I hope she does well in all of her endeavors

[kamorth]

I’m not going to wake up tomorrow and start clucking

[cockandballnurture-deactivated2]

[faceless-savage-deactivated2019]

I don’t know who made this, but this is my favorite fan art of Feyre. It really shows how fierce and badass she is. All the emotion in her eyes, wow.

[leia-organa]

Ezra Miller photographed by Ryan Pfluger for Playboy Magazine.

[stability]

[a-wlw-reads]

A-WLW-Reads Reviews Masterlist

I’ve had this blog for over a year now and I feel like a lot of great books get lost in the shuffle so I’m going to be continuously updating this list, arranged by genre, of books I’ve reviewed or recommended (and personally have read)!

Contemporary (Middle Grade)

Drum Roll, Please by Lisa Jenn Bigelow

P.S. I Miss You by Jen Petro-Roy

Ivy Aberdeen’s Letter to the World by Ashley Herring Blake

Star-Crossed by Barbara Dee

Contemporary (Young Adult)

We Are Okay by Nina LaCour

The House You Pass on the Way by Jacqueline Woodson

Dating Sarah Cooper by Siera Maley

Girl Mans Up by M-E Girard

A Love Story Starring My Dead Best Friend by Emily Horner

Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruit by Jaye Robin Brown

Run by Kody Keplinger

Empress of the World by Sara Ryan

Everything Leads to You by Nina LaCour

Tessa Masterson Will Go to Prom by Emily Franklin and Brendan Halpin

Far From Xanadu by Julie Anne Peters

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth

Not Otherwise Specified by Hannah Moskowitz

Good Moon Rising by Nancy Garden

Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden

The Year They Burned the Books by Nancy Garden

My Best Friend, Maybe by Caela Carter

If You Could Be Mine by Sara Farizan

Dare Truth or Promise by Paula Boock

Ask the Passengers by A.S. King

Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde

Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann

Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel by Sara Farizan

Ship It by Britta Lundin

37 Things I Love (In No Particular Order) by Kekla Magoon

Her Name in the Sky by Kelly Quindlen

Keeping You A Secret by Julie Anne Peters

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman

Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli

What We Left Behind by Robin Talley

Our Own Private Universe by Robin Talley

Kissing Kate by Lauren Myracle

Little & Lion by Brandy Colbert

The Bermudez Triangle by Maureen Johnson

Scars by Cheryl Rainfield

The Difference Between You and Me by Madeline George

Moon at Nine by Deborah Ellis

Sister Mischief by Laura Goode

Final Draft by Riley Redgate

Being Emily by Rachel Gold

Kaleidoscope Song by Fox Benwell

The Summer of Jordi Perez (And the Best Burger in Los Angeles) by Amy Spalding

You Know Me Well by Nina LaCour and David Levithan

Contemporary

Landing by Emma Donoghue

Truth Weekend by Erin Jones

Sing You Home by Jodi Picoult

I Can’t Think Straight by Shamim Sarif

Last Words from Montmartre by Qui Miaojin

Edge of Glory by Rachel Spangler

Disobedience by Naomi Adlerman

Waiting in the Wings by Melissa Brayden

My Education by Susan Choi

Gut Symmetries by Jeanette Winterson

The Paths of Marriage by Mala Kumar

Thaw by Elyse Springer

Challah and Callaloo by La Toya Hankins

Out on Good Behavior by Dahlia Adler

Double Exposure by Chelsea M. Cameron

Roller Girl by Vanessa North

Lost and Found by Carolyn Parkhurst

Treasure by Rebekah Weatherspoon

Far From Home by Lorelie Brown

The Others by Seba Al-Herz

A Map of Home by Randa Jarrar

In the Silence by Jaimie Leigh McGovern

Bright Lines by Tanwi Nandini Islam

Marriage of a Thousand Lies by SJ Sindu

Rat Bohemia by Sarah Schulman

Tailor-Made by Yolanda Wallace

Fantasy

Labyrinth Lost by Zoraida Córdova (YA)

Ash by Malinda Lo (YA)

Robins in the Night by Dajo Jago

Love in the Time of Global Warming and The Island of Excess Love by Francesca Lia Block (YA)

About A Girl by Sarah McCarry (YA)

Huntress by Malinda Lo (YA)

Libyrinth by Pearl North (YA)

The Dark Wife by Sarah Diemer

Girls Made of Snow and Glass by Melissa Bashardoust (YA)

Gretel: A Fairy Tale Retold by Niamh Murphy

The Shattering by Karen Healey (YA)

The Witch Sea by Sarah Diemer

The Second Mango by Shira Glassman

Of Fire and Stars and Inkmistress by Audrey Coulthurst (YA)

The Prince and Her Dreamer by Kayla Bashe

Cinnamon Blade: Knife in Shining Armor by Shira Glassman

Science Fiction

The Abyss Surrounds Us and The Edge of the Abyss by Emily Skrutskie (YA)

Dreadnought and Sovereign by April Daniels (YA)

Otherbound by Corinne Duyvis (YA)

The Long Way to A Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

Finding Hekate by Kellie Doherty

Not Your Sidekick by C.B. Lee (YA)

Valhalla by Ari Bach

Solitaire by Kelley Eskridge

Adaptation, Inheritance, and Natural Selection by Malinda Lo (YA)

That Inevitable Victorian Thing by E.K. Johnston (YA)

Ascension by Jacqueline Koyanagi

Warrior Woman by Marion Zimmer Bradley

Necrotech by K.C. Alexander

Ammonite by Nicola Griffith

Sappho’s Bar and Grill by Bonnie J. Morris

Historical

Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson

Wildthorn by Jane Eagland (YA)

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flag

Honey Girl by Lisa Freeman

Frog Music by Emma Donoghue

The Necessary Hunger by Nina Revoyr (YA)

The Color Purple by Alice Walker

Coffee Will Make You Black by April Sinclair

Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown

The Ada Decades by Paula Martinac

Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley (YA)

The Night Watch by Sarah Waters

Fingersmith by Sarah Waters

The Paying Guests by Sarah Waters

Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters

Affinity by Sarah Waters

The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith

The Well of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall

Odd Girl Out by Ann Bannon

Under the Udala Trees by Chinelo Okparanta

Another Life Altogether by Elaine Beale (YA)

Hood by Emma Donoghue

The Teahouse Fire by Ellis Avery

Loving Her by Ann Allen Shockley

Hild by Nicola Griffith

Bittersweet by Nevada Barr

Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf

Orlando by Virginia Woolf

Against the Season by Jane Rule

Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Poetry

Ask Me How I Got Here by Christine Heppermann (YA)

The Monkey’s Mask by Dorothy Porter

The Black Unicorn: Poems by Audre Lorde

Coal by Audre Lorde

The Cold and the Rust: Poems by Emily Van Kley

If Not, Winter: Fragments of Sappho by Sappho trans. Anne Carson

Living as a Lesbian: Poetry by Cheryl Clarke

Not Vanishing by Chrystos

Rock | Salt | Stone by Rosamond S. King

Mystery/Thriller

Jam Jars by Yonnette Anderson

Finder of Lost Objects by Susie Hara

A Line in the Dark by Malinda Lo (YA)

Far From You by Tess Sharpe (YA)

Echo After Echo by Amy Rose Capetta (YA)

Steampunk

Heart of Brass by Morven Moeller

Karen Memory by Elizabeth Bear (YA)

Everfair by Nisi Shawl

The Dark Victorian: Risen, The Dark Victorian: Bones and Ice Demon by Elizabeth Watasin

Memoir

Zami: A New Spelling of My Name by Audre Lorde

Saving Alex: When I Was Fifteen I Told My Mormon Parents I Was Gay and That’s When My Nightmare Began by Alex Cooper

The Other Side of Paradise by Staceyann Chin

How Poetry Saved My Life: A Hustler’s Memoir by Amber Dawn

Two or Three Things I Know for Sure by Dorothy Allison

Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? by Jeanette Winterson

Dirty River: A Queer Femme of Color Dreaming Her Way Home by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

Eating Fire: My Life as a Lesbian Avenger by Kelly Cogswell

(See also Spinning, Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic, My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness, and Snapshots of a Girl under Graphic Novels)

Horror/Paranormal

Bleeding Earth by Kaitlin Ward (YA)

As I Descended by Robin Talley (YA)

Shallow Graves by Kali Wallace (YA)

Mad House: Vengeful Vampires by Bria Lin

Dread Nation by Justina Ireland (YA)

The Red Tree by Caitlín R. Kiernan

Hocus Pocus & The All-New Sequel by A.W. Jantha (YA)

The Gilda Stories by Jewelle Gomez

Nonfiction

Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers: A History of Lesbian Life in the Twentieth-Century by Lillian Faderman

To Believe in Women: What Lesbians Have Done for America - A History by Lillian Faderman

Victory: The Triumphant Gay Revolution by Linda Hirshman

Sappho Was A Right-On Woman: A Liberated View of Lesbianism by Sidney Abbott and Barbara Love

Gay L.A.: A History of Sexual Outlaws, Power Politics, and Lipstick Lesbians by Lillian Faderman and Stuart Timmons

Tell: Love, Defiance, and the Military Trial at the Tipping Point for Gay Rights by Major Margaret Witt with Tim Connor

Sapphistries: A Global History of Love Between Women by Leila J. Rupp

Anthology/Short Stories

Queer Africa: New and Collected Fiction edited by Karen Martin and Makhosazana Xaba

Compreñeras: Latina Lesbians: An Anthology edited by Juanita Ramos

Speaking for Ourselves: Short Stories by Jewish Lesbians edited by Irene Zahava

Kissing the Witch: Old Tales in New Skins by Emma Donoghue

All Out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens edited by Saundra Mitchell (YA)

Bareed Mista3jil edited by Meem

Tangled Sheets: Stories & Poems of Lesbian Lust edited by Rosamund Elwin and Karen X. Tulchinsky

The Penguin Book of Lesbian Short Stories edited by Margaret Reynolds

A Safe Girl to Love by Casey Plett

The Vintage Book of International Lesbian Fiction edited by Naomi Holoch and Joan Nestle

Dispatches from Lesbian America edited by Xequina Maria Berber, Giovanna Capone, and Cheela Romain Smith

Lesbian Nuns: Breaking Silence edited by Rosemary Curb and Nancy Manahan

The Lesbian Path edited by Margaret Cruikshank

Am I Blue?: Coming Out from the Silence edited by Marion Dane Bauer (YA)

The Dirt Chronicles by Kristyn Dunnion

Mentsh: On Being Jewish and Queer edited by Angela Brown

Toil & Trouble: 15 Tales of Women and Witchcraft edited by Jessica Spotswood and Tess Sharpe

Graphic Novel/Comic

Skim by Mariko Tamaki

Bingo Love by Tee Franklin

Spinning by Tillie Walden

Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel

Motor Crush Vol. 1 and Motor Crush Vol. 2 by Brenden Fletcher

Moonstruck, Vol. 1: Magic to Brew by Grace Ellis (MG)

My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Nagata Kabi

Snapshots of a Girl by Beldan Sezen

Love Is Love: A Comic Book Anthology to Benefit the Survivors of the Orlando Pulse Shooting

Bombshells by Marguerite Bennett

Heavy Vinyl by Carly Usdin

[svrssnp]

i am begging everyone to watch this video right now

[z7rkive]

HSHDJDJ

[azkabqn]

Dont avada kedavra the messenger

[november-secrets]

Why is this edited just like Unnhhh? I fucking love it!