i should probably go touch grass @trexjesse - Tumblr Blog

tism. tistic. autismtic. smmmtic. tmicsm. smimtic. austic. stic. aumstic.

whatever you do don’t think about nemik screaming climb at cassian while they were escaping through the eye and k2so screaming climb at cassian while sealing the door so cassian and jyn could escape

lokithanos

cassian watering his plants before leaving to begin his final mission ahaha i’m totally fine 🙂

nathanbates

The way Andor enhances but also kind of ruins all other Star Wars media by comparison, even Rogue One.

Like, back in 2016 we all wondered “how did Cassian and K2-SO meet? Maybe it was a rollicking adventure full of laughs and hijinks in which they had to quickly reprogram an imperial droid to escape hahaha!”

And the reality is: “this droid nearly killed me and my friend after we both narrowly survived one of the most infamous massacres in the history of the galaxy. We saw dozens of these things tearing people apart on the street. I kept him because I understood the utility of its brutality. We’re on good terms now, but when I look at him I can still see the dead, lying there, eternally wide eyed...”

505wallets

Just keeps spreading, doesn't it?

gender-luster

"rebellions are built on hope" coming from a random ghorman bellhop, who cassian met twice is really the most andor/rogue one thing ever. because he is SO random. they all are. every rebel. every member of rogue one. they are just random, ordinary people, who were willing and brave enough to give up everything for even a chance at freedom. and that is so important

ravencantwrite

Also love the fact that "Rebellions are built on hope" was not something that Cassian came up with. It was something that followed him. Something that he heard and believed in so much so that he passed it on to Jyn. Cassian, the man who had every reason to lose hope on the rebellion lived on to serve the rebellion in countless ways because he still had hope. "Rebellions are built on hope" is not just a dialogue. It's a fact. It's the truth. And it is a perfect reminder for Cassian when everything is going sideways in Rogue One. And it's a reminder for everyone within the rebellion when Jyn reminds them that they must have hope, they must still fight even if the enemy is a death star, a literal planet killer. This one line may have literally saved the rebellion.

mando-abs

It’s people like Cassian, and Jyn, and Nemik, and the bellhop, that make me believe that it wasn’t just Obi-Wan reaching out to Luke before he blew up the Death Star. Obi-Wan was just the only one who was able to speak to him. Imagine all of the people who died in order for Luke to be in that moment, in order for Luke to a conduit for all that pain and sacrifice. All of them guiding him to weaken the Empire to a point of no return, one last time.

I like to think, when he matured a bit, that Luke reflected back to that moment and thanked all of them, putting them to rest.

jojobaaaa

"You'll sleep when it's done."

betyoudidntcatchthat

how heartbreaking is it that these are some of the last words that cassian hears from some of the most influential people to him

“climb!”

and always just before they die

stealingpotatoes

Ever think about different things would be if Nemik had lived? Maybe met people from one of the parallel storylines?

omg yes!!! he’s like everyone in the rebellion’s favourite writer, he should so get to meet other people

(commission info // tip jar!)

avrilheert

a friend sent me this and i got inspired

toadlessgirl

Andor + Onion headlines part 2, because I have a problem.

punk-speedchunk

this is the funniest fucking frame in all star wars. this did damage, i got a headache laughing at this. comes outa nowhere. like i know he was suffering but ph my fucking god

cimicherrychanga

imagine your neighborhood had a Notorious Van because the art airbrushed on it isnt like a cool lightning wizard or unicorn or whatever, but instead a bunch of dicks. everyone knows the van with the penises. and the person who owns and drives it is this lesbian who knooows her cars the talk of the town and loves it. and you know Of her but now, at this random house party, you get introduced to her for the first time and ur like ohhhh THATS the dick van dyke

naamahdarling

FUCK you

json-derulo

the past three weeks in a row, partner has gone to chipotle and been served by the same employee who, in bold defiance of the testimony of his own eyes and ears, ardently refuses to believe carnitas exist

json-derulo

partner: “Hi, could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and carnitas?”

employee (completely blank expression): “No.”

partner (autistic) (socialscript.exe encountered an unhandled exception) : “…Uh. Um. Sorry?”

employee: “We don’t have that.”

partner (wondering if perhaps he put too much of the authentic accent on the word and that’s what’s throwing the guy): “You don’t have…(pronouncing it whiter) carnitas?”

employee (face still unreadable): “No.”

partner (looking at the near-full hotel pan of perfectly normal carnitas in its usual place on the other side of the glass) (noticing this employee looks unfamiliar) (maybe he’s a new guy that just started five minutes ago with no training?) : “The…pork?” (pointing at it)

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (beginning to wonder if he’s the one that’s losing it) (desperately looks to the menu on the wall behind the employee) (the menu lists carnitas as a protein option) (the word “carnitas” is not crossed out or taped over or otherwise adulterated) (carnitas have been on the standard menu since at least 2016) : “Okay. Um. Are you…sure?”

other employee working the toppings part of the line (familiar) (have seen her before) (she has cool earrings): *gives the new guy a strange look, nudges him aside, and scoops the carnitas onto partner’s bowl before continuing with the other toppings*

Repeat conversation again the next week. And the next. Same guy. If it’s a bit, no one is laughing, including the employee.

json-derulo

theories I’ve considered:

- the employee keeps very strictly kosher/halal/vegan and refuses to handle pork (understandable, I respect that, but if you’re gonna work at a place that serves pork I do kinda feel like when someone orders it you’ve just gotta tap in a coworker to do it for you)

- someone did something gross to the carnitas and the employee is trying to warn people not to order it (??? throw it out then? also, three weeks in a row???)

- the employee is a space alien who views humans as so similar to pigs that for us to eat them is tantamount to cannibalism

json-derulo

- the employee is the lead in a kdrama romance about a pampered, clueless chaebol heir who is sent by his father to work in the company’s restaurants for a year in order to prove he’s ready to take over as CEO. he’s dumb as rocks but they can’t fire him or even correct him that harshly due to the power gradient. partner is just a minor reoccurring character, and the interaction is kept the same from week to week to highlight the development of the relationship between the employee and his love interest with the cool earrings (even if the restaurant is literally a fully-branded Chipotle, that’s somehow still not enough product placement for me to believe this is a real kdrama)

json-derulo

After reviewing again with partner, evidently I forgot a detail that set this week’s carnitas denial dance apart from the others.

partner (well aware of what he’s getting into with this guy now): “Hi. Could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and pork?”

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (demonstrating a level of patience only a public school teacher could have): *points at the pan of carnitas* “Could I please just have some of that?”

employee (after several slow, confused blinks): *points at the same pan* “That’s steak.”

partner (looking at the hotel pan they’re both pointing at) (it is filled with shredded meat of a pale beige color) (at the other end of the row of pans is another pan containing dark brown, lightly charred meat chopped into small pieces): “Okay.” *deciding he’s willing to play in this fantasy space if it gets the job done, he points at the first pan again* Then could I please have the steak?”

employee: *starts to reach for the pan at the other end containing the actual steak*

partner: "Oh—no, sorry, this one please?" *points at the first pan containing the carnitas*

employee: *blinks, then just walks away and starts helping the next customer in line, leaving partner's bowl unfinished*

other employee with cool earrings: *rolls her eyes at new employee, takes partner’s bowl, and fills it with carnitas herself*

new theories:

- the employee is a bridge troll who will only dole out his delectable carnitas to those who prove themselves worthy by correctly answering his riddles three

- the employee is stoned out of his mind at all times on a specific strain of weed that totally erases the concept of pork from his memory and awareness

json-derulo

A few additional updates/clarifications:

Mr. Eternal Bluntshine of the Porkless Mind isn't the first idiosyncratic cryptid Partner has encountered at this particular Chipotle. He joins the illustrious ranks of The Lobster Mobster and 300 RPM Matthew McConaughey

Partner says he does not actually mind dealing with this unskippable cutscene every time because A) he finds it amusing and B) on one occasion, after Cool Earrings's intervention, the new employee checked him out at the register, and he rang up the bowl clearly labeled "CA-Q" (carnitas with queso) as chicken, which made it slightly cheaper

Some of my favorite possible explanations from the tags: