* @trichster - Tumblr Blog

THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

11/10/2018, 06:27am.

I didn’t write about this before because I was running on 2 hours of sleep and I couldn’t focus on anything, but 09/10/2018 was the best day of my life because I MET JARED AND SHANNON LETO AND I CAN’T STOP CRYING OVER IT.

I have loved 30STM my entire life, I still can’t believe this happened.

And I’m obsessed with my picture with them. I posted it everywhere. I’m not going to post it here though, since I don’t want to risk my family finding this blog, but if you’re interested in my experience or whatever, it’s right here.

That’s all, bye!

#journal #personal #30STM #best day of my life #day1290 #october #2018

07/10/2018, 06:27pm.

Hi.

So, it’s day 1287, and I haven’t written anything in 385. More than a year. Wow.

Life has been crazy, to say the least.

To sum it up, I’m a disappointment to my parents because I refused to get into college to get a masters degree in something that they wanted. It sucked for a while because well, we couldn’t stop fighting about it, until eventually the admission dates passed and they couldn’t fight me anymore. I’m not proud of being a disappointment, but I didn’t want to give in either. I just knew it wouldn’t make me happy. I still feel like shit for being so useless though. And I wonder every day of my life if I made a mistake, but I guess it’s too late for regrets.

I got a job. I found it incredibly amazing the first few months, and it’s not like it completely sucks right now, but I’ve been there for 10 months and some things are just a bit sucky. But whatever, it could be worse, I guess. It does take a lot of my time though, so that part actually sucks a lot. And it’s not well paid so that sucks as well.

My fight against my compulsive behaviors is still strong. I haven’t relapsed on trich, which is amazing considering how long it’s been, but I haven’t stopped scratching my nose either. On top of that, I’ve felt like shit for a long time. I was convinced by a friend to go to a party (which I usually hate) and I tried MDMA on that party. I took half a pill and then like 3 hours later I took another half and the first half wasn’t so bad but with the second half I was completely gone. It didn’t feel bad though, in fact, it felt completely good. I felt free and relaxed. I did make out with two guys and one girl the same night though, so that was a bit awkward, mostly because they all knew each other. It was funny though. And then I attended another party with the same friend and I only took half a pill and smoked some weed but it was enough to make me happy. It’s ok though, I don’t really feel the need to do it often. It’s just good fun in the moment. And my friend is always taking care of me and making sure I don’t do anything stupid so that’s great.

On a brighter note, I came out as bisexual (!!!!) to all of my closest friends aka my high school friends. And surprisingly, they were all supportive and understanding. I was so scared but now I feel so good and relieved. It’s great. I never thought I’d get here. I still haven’t told my parents though. And to be honest, I don’t think I ever will. I’m not strong enough to be rejected by them. I just don’t want to give them another reason to believe I’m a disappointment. I mean, I can deal with my siblings, they would have to get over it anyway, but I can’t deal with my parents. I just can’t and it sucks because I’m free outside but then I come back home and I’m lying again and I feel so tense and frustrated. I truly hope I get the courage to talk to them one day.

And to end this post, I got a matching tattoo with my best friend. It’s a hummingbird. We both loved the design and it represents a lot of things about us so that’s pretty cool.

Anyway, I’ve done a couple of things this last year. I’m not proud of all of them, but that’s how it is. I guess I’ll try to update this blog more often from now on.

That’s all.

Bye!

#journal #day1287 #october #2018 #bfrb #bfrb awareness #sexuality #lgbtq #coming out #personal

mybuckystar

some things i’ve learned about adulthood that no one warns you about

you will in fact continue to have acne past the age of twenty

you will eventually hit a point where you start to feel icky inside if you go too long without eating some sort of vegetables

depending on your current level of athleticism/physical activity as well as the kind of activities you did as a kid/teenager, your joints may start acting whack in your twenties, despite what everyone says about that not happening until middle age

eventually you will reach a point where you wonder how you were able to stay up until 3am nearly every night and be perfectly fine the next day (and this moment will come much younger than you expect)

it is much harder to meet new people after you’re done with school than sitcoms would have you believe

don’t let society tell you shit: it is perfectly acceptable to live with your parents after you graduate, there’s no need to be broke and miserable just so you can have some misguided attempt at independence straight out of school

sheisrecovering

I am not defined by my relapses, but by my decision to remain in recovery despite them.

#trichotillomania #trich #bfrb #bfrb awareness #recovery

bramlouisgreenfeld

all for the game + popular quotes (1/?)

Hi! I have OCD including trichotillomania. I'm under psychiatric treatment but despite of that, resisting the urge during the past few weeks have lead me into a huge anxiety. Any advice for controlling it ? Thank you.

Hi love!

I answered something similar a few weeks ago. You can find it right here.

These are the things I’ve done. However, I’m not an expert. I try to help you all based on my own experience and what I’ve read through the years, so I can’t guarantee that any of my techniques is going to work. They have worked for me before, and that’s why I share them, but trich affects everyone differently, so I’m not 100% sure it’s going to work for all of you.

If after reading this you feel like it won’t be helpful, I have a page full of references for trichotillomania and anxiety right here where you can find more information. I also have a tag for references that I’ve reblogged (you can find it here) and check if there’s something that could be useful for you. And if you’re feeling hopeless, I have a tag for recovery right here.

And please remember, every second you’re not pulling is part of your success. You can beat this, just don’t let it beat you first. And don’t panic, panic only empowers your anxiety.

If you need to talk, my asx box is always open and/or you can chat with me :)

Good luck!

#ask #trich #trichotillomania #bfrb #bfrb awareness #tricotilomania #ttm #trichster #references #september #2017 #Anonymous

klefable

“but feminism makes men uncomfortable sometimes”

good

rheaseahorn

#equality #lgbtq #sexuality

pickitperfect

If you have ever resisted the urge to pick or pull, I am SO PROUD OF YOU! Even if you only resisted for a minute, even if it seems insignificant when you look at the full picture, take a second to be proud of yourself because it isn’t easy. Strive for greatness. I’m rooting for each and every one of you.

#trichotillomania #trich #bfrb

hjtlah

Am I the only one who pretends to hate people and pretends to not care if they don’t talk to me when in reality I’m dying inside because I can’t be normal thanks to social anxiety and I can’t even talk to someone in the internet?

#social anxiety #same #anxiety

irrellievent-deactivated2019110

i got new fidget toys today to help deal with trich/derma/anxiety ! 🌸

#trichotillomania #trich #bfrb #references

fidgeteen

Where to Buy Fidget/Stim Toys IRL

Fidget toys are great- I couldn’t function without them! Some of the best ones can only be found online, but sometimes it’s more convenient (for whatever reason) to buy them in person. With some creativity and a good eye you can find great stim toys almost anywhere. That having been said, here are some of my favorite places to shop for them:

Target: There is always something to fidget with at Target. Check the dollar spot, the party favor section, and the party favor/generic cheap things area of the toy section. Sometimes puzzles and games can be repurposed for stimming as well. I’ve also heard that the baby section has chewable items.

Stop&Shop: The toy section has playdoh and squishy things! Silicone pot holders are also great stim toys.

Claire’s: Depends on the day because their stock rotates quickly, but they can have stretchy wristbands (coiled or otherwise), tactile pens and device cases, and other stuff.

Specialty Toy Stores: A lot of these places will have stuff like Thinking Putty, pop toobs, stress balls, wooden fidgets, and fancy games/puzzles that have parts that can be taken to fidget with. Oftentimes blind bag items (such as Mashems/Fashems) can be used for fidgeting while bearing the likeness of your favorite character!

Specialty Bookstores: Depends on the store, but book stores that have toy sections often carry fidget items or puzzles/games that can be used as such.

Any store with a Toysmith Kiosk: This category often falls under the above two. As a kid, all my fidgets came from toysmith displays. Nowadays you can even get Tangle Juniors in some of them. There is something for every fidgeter at one of these.

Drugstores: This one can be a hit-or-miss, but I’ve seen stress balls and squishy seasonal items at CVS and independent drugstores.

Tourist trap souvenir/junk shops:These places often carry stress balls, weighted animals, fidgety pens, or practical joke items that can be repurposed for your needs.

Museum Shops: You can find Tangles, themed rubix cubes, hand puzzles, and other handmade or local fidget toys here. Science museums often carry physics toys, slime, or squishy dinosaurs/the like. Pro tip: you can enter most museum shops without buying a ticket to the museum.

Happy Stimming/Fidgeting!

#trichotillomania #trich #bfrb #references

chronically-fangirls

Hey

If you see someone with •Acne scars •Bald/shorter hair areas •Many skin spots/pimples/zits etc. •Generally scars •Bitten-to-the-flesh fingernails Etc.

Please don’t make any comments. It can be uncomfortable and unsettling. Not everyone is open to talk about it, for some it’s a very sensitive topic.

#!!!#trichotillomania #trich #bfrb