a conspiracy of cartographers @trilliv - Tumblr Blog

Happiest Season

could u imagine what a joke it would be if the only classic tumblr queerbaiting show u watched as a teen that ended w a canon ship was supernatural.

rosemarythunder

genuinely if those two horrible white men kiss in the last handful of episodes of a 15 season show, where they had 15 seasons to make one half of the pairing canonically explore being bisexual and the other half of the pair also had that opportunity for 11 seasons- AND THE SHOW CHOSE TO DO NEITHER… THAT’S NOT GOOD REPRESENTATION !!

war crimes, i will commit war crimes if i hear one word of praise for a racist, misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic show because the show’s writers hate their fans but feel obliged to throw them the worlds smallest, most rancid bone

rosemarythunder

STOP SAYING I MANIFESTED THIS, NO ONE DESERVES THAT KIND OF BLAME 😭💀

gudetama-tamad

so it was yOU

amaya-jiiwe

When someone leaves your life, those exits are not made equal. - Griffin Mcelroy

insp.

wrenhavenriver

tumblr’s collective composure was hanging on by a single fucking thread and it was supernatural of all things that got out the scissors

criticalsorcery

misty mountains

speaknowtaylor

This is one for the OGs

onceandfuturehimbo

eliisunflower

（´㉨｀*）

clampcastpod

Mood.

carlaconnors

#gilmore girls but make it 2020 (part 2)

andhumanslovedstories

I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought "why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff," so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It's alright if you can't because apparently I fuckin couldn't either

evelynhug0

valtsv

i can’t talk shit about the pirates of the caribbean films as if elizabeth swann becoming pirate king didn’t hand my entire ass to me and make me the gay i am today

valtsv

these 2 looks basically defined my sexuality and i’m not afraid to admit it

valtsv

things pirates of the caribbean got right:

1. will and elizabeth’s love story

2. elizabeth becoming pirate king

3. avoiding sexualizing elizabeth or the other female pirate characters in the first 3 films by allowing them to wear period-accurate pirate outfits that aren’t tailored to be revealing and impractical for ‘sex appeal’ just because they’re women

4. hans zimmer’s entire score but especially the iconic ‘he’s a pirate’ main theme

prismatic-bell

5. When the movie came out, morally-gray characters like Jack were actually not really a thing yet in pop culture, and it’s not Pirates’ fault that there are a ton of stupid shitty copycats out there.

6. I run a corseting panel at cons and literally use Elizabeth’s lace-up scene as a video clip of what historical corseting was actually like, because the only thing they got wrong in this scene is that tightlacing wouldn’t be a thing for about another 200 years (and you couldn’t tightlace with the corset style Elizabeth is wearing anyway). It’s one of the most accurate corseting scenes I’ve ever seen.

7. Will’s hat.

8. That scene with all the pirates on the gallows where that little boy starts singing Hoist the Colours? Yeah, that’s fucking legendary. The rest of AWE was kind of a trash fire, but that scene gave me goosebumps.

9. There’s this great shot in the first one where they really drive home the class differences inherent in this time period by having the governor talking about progress and civilization to Elizabeth in their carriage, and then they cut to a shot outside the carriage where a beggar gets splashed by mud from the wheel. It’s a perfect way to underline that everything is not, in fact, a nice little upper-class fairytale, and to give some weight to Will’s storyline, because he has a lot more in common with that beggar than with the governor.

10. For its time, the CGI was fucking amazing.

11. And let’s not forget the work of the makeup department, which had to actually invent new ways of putting on makeup for this movie.

12. The governor’s death scene. Holy shit.

13. They could have gone with a Jack/Will/Elizabeth love triangle, but they didn’t. There are some hints Jack is in love (or at least in lust) with Elizabeth, but he recognizes that she loves Will, and that’s that.

14. You’ve got to admit that wedding was unique.

math-is-magic

15. The introduction of fantasy elements to historical fiction outside of Tolkein-esque fantasy, and how it contributed to and expanded the Fantasy Media boom we’re still enjoying today.

kyraneko

16. The way the scenes were written and focused for maximum character reveal/enrichment, so that even as things happened, they were always bringing greater depth to the characters, not just moving the plot along.

From the simple pan of Jack’s triumphant mast-riding entry to Port Royal to the ship that’s 1) a small boat and 2) sinking under him (showing Jack to be a beautiful disaster with high amounts of both charisma and luck), to the swordfight between Will and Jack that so impressively establishes Will’s feelings about pirates, making his subsequent decision to break Jack out of prison to rescue Elizabeth all the more clear in showing his feelings for Elizabeth (really sells Will as Lawful Good but with a major override in the form of his crush), to Norrington and Governor Swann both in their own way so nice and well-meaning but also so deeply fucking ignorant about how stifling they are to Elizabeth.

The corset is a metaphor for Elizabeth’s high-class-lady lifestyle and the expectations about to close in on her, and both her father (who gives her the corset) and Norrington (who proposes marriage) think they’re giving her a gift but are too focused on themselves to notice, even when told, that she can’t fucking breathe. The movie is full of this. Little commentaries, like the drunken master blacksmith getting credit for what’s obviously Will’s work in swordcraft.

17. Jack, imprisoned in his own brig, yelling out, “Stop blowing holes in my ship!“ Iconic.