adhd help

help for those finding out about their adhd later on in life, relatable posts, and musings, run by a mother and son both with ADHD

[mckitterick]

ADHD life hacks #41,279: Vegetable Management

source tweet: X

[frogitivity]

People talk about needlessly gendered items but one time I got diagnosed with female presenting autism and I’m still losing my mind over it

[criticallyalexandrite]

This is why Autism Speaks studies are invalid. it’s resulted in people thinking that only men can have autism. Thus resulting in stupid terms like female presenting autism.

[veemopusvulgaris]

FEMALE PRESENTING AUTISM???

[800-dick-pics]

I refused to give my adhd evaluator my gender/sex so she logged my traits and answers from the questionaires both for the “male” adhd and “female” adhd traits and the results varied so much that even my evaluator was shocked by it bc it was the first time she had done both “genders” for one person (and i think it opened her eyes on how wrong and inaccurate sexed tests/evals are). my hyperactivity, and impulsivity scored lower (aka downplayed) on the female page but had a HUGEEEEE spike for it on the male page, their were things like my emotional dysregulation that were also“less apparent” on my female results than my male ones. Genuinely ask who ever is evaluating you to remove sex/gender from the evaluation process and if they refuse demand that they test you as a “male” and “female” Lots of us esp black and brown autistics and adhders are getting duped out of a proper diagnosis bc white perisex cishet people are seen as the “standard” for literally everything in the medical field 

[technoskittles]

I keep forgetting that NT people don’t do math the same way people with ADHD do it until I try to explain my thought process and get weird looks from people who are like “how the FUCK did you do that?”

whoops

[technoskittles]

and for those of you who DON’T know what I’m talking about I’ll give you an example

42 + 29 = 71

for neurotypical people, they use the method we were all taught in grade school where you add 9 + 2 to get 11 and then move the extra one over to make 4 + 2 + 1 which equals 7 to give you 71

but the way I do it (as many other people with ADHD as I’ve come to find out) is this:

okay so you have 42 + 29. if you take 1 away from 42 and give it to 29 to make it an even 30, you now have 41 + 30 which is an easy 71

or, another problem: 53 + 88

round that 88 up to 90 and take the two from 53 so you have 51 + 90. but wait I can make this easier. take 10 more from 51 to make 90, 100 and now you have 41 + 100 which equals 141

it’s just…so much faster? and makes so much more sense to me

[technoskittles]

also? the math teachers that always took off points for kids not showing their work?

fucking HATED that. as someone who could get from point A to point D in my head in a split second, I felt like showing my work was often a waste of time when sometimes it felt like I just automatically knew the answer

or, if I did put down my work, I went through a process that wasn’t taught and would get points reduced anyway because it wasn’t the way we were taught just because my brain worked differently than the rest of the class. my answer was always right. they just didn’t like how I got it

never did like that much 

[technoskittles]

also, this is another way of doing it that I just saw on facebook that I’ve also done before

because I do things to that extent too

so if you give me something like 37 + 45 I’ll go “well 30 + 40 is 70 and 7 + 5 is 12 so 70 + 12 is 82″

there’s just…so many ways to do math that make more sense than the way I was taught

[technoskittles]

this post got a lot more popular than I was expecting wow

I’ve seen some people reblogging this saying they don’t have adhd but have autism and yes! People with autism do this too! I’ve learned that a lot of people with adhd and/or autism do things that overlap and this is one of them!

[technoskittles]

i’m sorry but these are the only valid tags on this post

[trinityadhd]

Hi y’all I’d just like to say sorry for the inactivity of this blog, it’s my senior year of uni and I’ve been super busy and now with the virus campus is closing, it’s a very stressful time (and sad, really sad) so please bear with me while I deal with this difficult transition, I’ll try to get back to everyone sometime next week hopefully

In the meantime stay safe and healthy

[adhighdefinition]

no one ever talks about the part of adhd where everyone in your class has got their group of friends and you’re just there, mindlessly tagging along with anyone who is willing to put up with you for a few minutes. either you’re too loud or too quiet. if you’re lucky, it won’t affect you much. you’re a loner, so what? but then the moments come around where you find yourself yearning to be like the others. you’re not depressed, why would you be? you’re a child who just happens to be a little different. sure, you’re usually the last choice when it comes to groups and you’re rarely, if ever, invited to birthday parties but… it’s alright. everything is fine. or is it?

[adhighdefinition]

for the people questioning whether this really is part of adhd or not

[thatgirlwithadhd]

In case anyone was wondering, this is Dr. Russell Barkley, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and expert on ADHD. 

This quote comes from his lecture “30 Essential Ideas You Should Know about ADHD,” which you can find on YouTube as a 27-video playlist. This part is specifically in the second video of that playlist (about 8 minutes in).

I highly recommend watching these videos. If you can’t focus that long (I can’t, lol), then open the transcripts and read through them. Lots of info.

[the-bright-path-deactivated2021]

THAT’S AN ADHD THING??

[oldearthaccretionist]

Oh.

[1dietcokeinacan]

“3 Defining Features of ADHD That Everyone Overlooks”

[opinatus-papaver]

FINALLY, SOME GOOD QUALITY EXPLANATION OF WHY “I DONT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ADHD” BECAUSE ITS NOT REALLY CANT SIT STILL FOCUS NONE DISORDER ITS SOMETHING A WHOLE LOT MORE COMPLEX

[dysfunctionalfocus]

Actually yeah. I just reblogged this silently without any acknowledgement of it, but this is hones to god one of the best explanations I’ve seen.

[coyotesmokebreak]

just a reminder that RSD is a pathologized view of trauma

in other words social trauma is so prevalent when you have ADHD that it’s being listed as one of three defining traits of ADHD.

[trinityadhd]

yo just answered several asks that have been gathering dust in the box, @ all you lovely people who sent them in please let me know if you want me to make those answers private!

[trinityadhd]

Hey, sorry if you've answered this before, but do you have any tips'n'tricks for cleaning one's room? I've been attempting to do it for a long time, but I either only get a little bit done before it goes right been to awful or I can't find the motivation to actually clean it.

Hi! Cleaning my room is one of the most annoying/satisfying things EVER. I’ve gotten a lot better at it since being at university (tinier room, less things, room at home doesn’t get any messier while I’m at school) but it still takes me a massive wave of motivation to get it done. I try to start in small sections with a checklist like: do laundry, make bed, clean desk, drawers, etc. It’s totally fine if you only do a couple of small things! Try making your bed every morning, it makes me feel accomplished and sometimes I’m like “well if the bed looks this nice everything else should too.” Or, just start doing some task and maybe you’ll get swept away and caught in the “groove.” Both my mom and I find that the groove makes us deep-clean and organize (sometimes at the wrong time like at 3 am) which is great! But unfortunately it means it’s less your control and more your inner ADHD goblin’s. 

I really like organizing random things as long as they’re not mine. For instance, this Friday night I spent an hour organizing my dorm room’s food and snacks. I have no idea how that tidbit helps you but I wanted to share, it’s really satisfying. I’m also motivated by the fact that living in a clean room will make me feel better mentally (or there’s also something more comfortable about being sad in a clean room, more romantic-movie style crying than feeling grossed out by my own mess). There’s a lot of articles out there that are about cleaning in general and cleaning with ADHD. Good luck cleaning!

[trinityadhd]

Hello, I'm a 15 year old with ADHD. One of my biggest impediments is that im totally incapable of debating, arguing or even talking about myself without having to hold myself back so I don't start to cry and feel horrible afterwards the discussion ended. It's a big impediment as it complicates communication and debate with me. I can't talk to my parents or nobody how I feel, even with simple things like why im so happy today, or how has school been. What can I do to fix this?

Hey there, so I feel like this may be a question better directed towards a therapist or school counselor. I’m not sure if this is a self-esteem issue but it feels very familiar to me as I’ve struggled a LOT with my confidence and ability to talk about myself, especially in a positive manner. I felt like this especially when I was depressed in high school around your age. I’m not saying this is depression, but it might be beneficial for you to talk to a professional about this. It’s really, really, really hard to speak up when you feel this way, but I’m encouraging you to do so. The sooner the better. Even if you’re not depressed, talking to someone helps immensely! When I first started therapy, and eventually a more intense therapy, I think I cried every session because I loathed talking about myself. It felt almost selfish to talk about things so personal and I felt like everything I did was bad. But it started to help, I still have some of those feelings remaining but I’m more in control.

If you feel like this is something based more in general self confidence there’s a ton of advice everywhere! Books, podcasts, the internet. You exist in this world, you’re entitled to your feelings, and you’re a fucking miracle! I realized that I never speak about other people in the ways I speak about myself. I would never call a person ugly just because they’re overweight, or just in general. I would never hate or be annoyed at someone for laughing loudly. I would never judge someone for saying a “wrong” thing during a conversation. I would never judge someone for wearing a “flashy” outfit or being noticeable. Why do I treat myself so poorly? Start taking up space, stop caring what other people think, you are allowed to speak and exist. It’s definitely a journey, and a hard one at that, but it’s so so so worth it. It’s like Lizzo says “If you can love me, you can love yourself.”

I hope any of this makes sense, it feels like I just rambled on for 20 minutes and wished that I knew about Lizzo in high school. I’m sorry if none of this helps or is what you were looking for. I wish you the best of luck!

[trinityadhd]

Hiya! After a bunch of extensive research, I'm 95% sure I have ADHD/ADD. The problem is, my parents are very reluctant to get me a therapist already when I tell them I need one for my anxiety. They're convinced that I just need to get out more. First, they said I'd feel better when school started, now I just need a job to keep me busy. Life is "too nice"for something to be mentally wrong with me. I haven't even brought ADHD up with my parents because I know they won't take me seriously... (1/2)

“ ... And they'll probs just tell me I "convinced myself" I have it and need to "stop overthinking things, (tell me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure overthinking is a symptom of ADHD anyway) and just further gaslight me. My dad doesn't think I need therapy, but is a but willing to pay for me to have a single session. I forget what I was originally going to ask, but do you have any suggestions for my situation, maybe how to convince my parents to take me seriously or to get a quick diagnosis? (2/2)”

Hey! That totally sucks, my dude, I’m sorry your parents aren’t supportive. From my own experience (not related to ADHD, but still similar), I found that taking the most important parts of my research and basically presenting them to my parents (if you just give them papers or links they might not read it, you gotta assert yourself and prove you’re really serious) got them to understand me more. When I needed help for my anxiety it took a breakdown for me to finally get that help, and I don’t want that for you (part of it was that I kept internalizing it, I’m happy you’re much more upfront about it!). 

I don’t think a “quick diagnosis” really exists. Testing is different for children and adults and being a young adult it’s possible you’ll be tested as an adult and I don’t know how long that process can take (I would ask Mom but she’s busy getting ready for her wedding this weekend!).

Jump on that opportunity to see a therapist and voice your concerns to them, maybe even ask for a referral to a specialist. You could also speak to your GP about it and ask for a referral from them too. Your parents are more likely to listen to the suggestions of a professional.

Good luck, be brave, you got this! 

[trinityadhd]

After all the research I've done (including looking through your blog and reading many of the articles you've linked) as well as talking to other people with adhd, I'm 95% sure I also have it. But my doctors and multiple therapists have dismissed me, saying it's only anxiety. How can I tell whether or not it's adhd or just regular anxiety? Are the two interlinked? How can I convince doctors to take my concerns seriously and get tested for adhd?

I’m sorry that your doctors and therapists have been so unhelpful to you. ADHD can be a difficult thing to get diagnosed if you’re not a young boy causing trouble at school. My mom wasn’t diagnosed til she was in her 40s! 

It’s been found that ADHD and anxiety are definitely linked, being more prominent in girls’ symptoms of ADHD. You may want to seek out a therapist who specializes in ADHD (if you can). But other than that I’m not totally sure! I know many people whose doctors dismiss them ask it to blatantly put in their chart/records that the doctor dismissed them and the doctor then will be held liable (or whatever the proper term is) or the doctor will finally acknowledge their concerns, but that’s more for physical health conditions. You might just have to keep pushing. If you’re underage and have a supportive guardian they could try to help you out. 

Until then, use good coping skills/techniques to help you out! It’s not as great as professional help or medication but it’ll hopefully get you through what you need to do. Good luck!

[trinityadhd]

What are the symptoms of ADHD in girls? Because I've heard they're kind of different.

Hey! Sorry for the wait, senior year of university and life happening.

There is an estimated 50-75% of cases of ADHD in girls missed. Girls are more likely to daydream and be less focused rather than be troublemakers. So according to some studies the main difference seen is that ADHD is co-morbid with other conditions such as heightened anxiety and depression. They’re more likely to be self-critical, talk a lot, and interrupt. It’s also common for them to be disorganized/messy and have trouble finishing work.

I’ve also heard that the difference in symptoms is due to hormones and socialization, but I didn’t immediately come across that in my “research”

Here’s a few helpful links and you can totally just google “ADHD in girls” and find a lot of good sources (If you want specific studies use google scholar! It’s one of my best friends lol)

2013 study

Healthline

WebMD

[1dietcokeinacan]

“3 Defining Features of ADHD That Everyone Overlooks”

[trinityadhd]

Hi, Ive read about the whole coffee & energy drinks making ppl sleepy thing and I was wondering if a) that was universal for adhd, and b) if hot chocolate had the same affect because coffee & energy drinks are icky

I believe it depends on certain people, but caffeine is considered a stimulant drug which is the type of drug most doctors prescribe to people with ADHD. There have been studies done in hyperactive rats where caffeine has improved memory, attention, and spatial learning, but rats aren’t people so there isn’t much consensus on if these effects are applicable to humans yet.

A lot of people use caffeine to self medicate or just drink for fun I guess? I like coffee and occasionally pop, my mom used to drink several monsters a day specifically for self-medication before she was diagnosed (she no longer does and now it’s pop or tea). But caffeine can also exacerbate symptoms of psychiatric disorders, especially anxiety. Caffeine is generally less effective than actual ADHD medications in adults (but it’s generally discouraged to give children caffeine).

Caffeine is complex and has different interactions with different existing chemicals and bodily structures which makes finding a definite answer kind of difficult. And people always vary, especially with drugs. For sleepiness, there’s a few factors that can be considered:

1. The caffeine interrupts the sleep-wake cycle by blocking certain receptors and after the effect wears off, there’s a build up of the chemical that makes you drowsy so you feel more tired after having coffee

2. Hydration and drinking coffee v water

3. Sugar in your caffeinated drink and the eventual crash 

Hot chocolate does have caffeine in it, but usually way less than coffee and energy drinks do. I’ve never really heard of anyone drinking hot chocolate for the caffeine or that it makes them drowsy, but it’s also one of those drinks people like to snuggle up with in the winter. If hot chocolate makes you sleepy you’re probably just really cozy and warm.

I’m not going to say that there’s a universal rule to caffeine and how it affects people, let alone those with ADHD, but it definitely has side effects like any other drug. This is probably a little more in-depth than you wanted, but there are a LOT of studies of caffeine and sleep that I’d love to read through and give a proper answer to how and why caffeine affects sleep. It looks like there’s less studies on caffeine and ADHD (but still a lot, about 99k v 17k studies according to google scholar). 

But feel free to drink as much hot chocolate as u want without strong caffeine side effects! (just not too much... remember to drink ur water and eat ur veggies)

Sources:

https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/adhd-caffeine

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0166432810004663

https://www.healthline.com/health/food-nutrition/does-hot-chocolate-have-caffeine#hot-chocolate-vs.-soft-drinks

[trinityadhd]

do you have any strategies for handling the lack of appetite while on medication? i can barely eat at all since i’ve started vyvanse

Hi! So sorry for the long wait college has been crazy, When I was on medication I did have (and still have) a lack of appetite a lot of the time. I try to make it a goal to eat at certain times, even if it’s just a granola bar or a plain bagel. Try having small meals or snacks throughout the day that are high in calories/nutrition so you have that energy coming in. Sometimes I’ll eat things that aren’t as healthy just to get food into my body and that’s okay if you do that!

Try finding some foods that you enjoy or ones that you can eat throughout the day (I like smoothies!)

There’s several online resources for lack of appetite (though they’re not specifically for medication) I’ll link them once I’m off mobile and at home. They do emphasize eating healthily, but sometimes you just need some kind of food and I find it easier to eat foods I enjoy when I’m not hungry rather than forcing myself to eat healthy things I don’t like.

[the-adhd-society]

Vyvanse has been really interesting for me in terms of appetite. I eat before I take my medication. Usually an apple with peanutbutter or somethinf with protein.

You might not feel hungry but your body might be sending you other signals. I use to feel sick and didn’t know why until i realized that i didnt eat since that morning or I’d start to get irritable.

I also always kept granola bars or other things to ear. (Also fruit snacks since they have glucose so ir gives me a chance to think clearly)

Depending on where you are in life ( hs,college, work, staying at home etc) it really depends on how you manage it. If you are in h.s. eat suring your lunch period evwn if you arent hungry. College, figure out a rime ro ear before or after a class or go with friends. Work, if you see. Coworkers gling for lunch leave. Sometimes we have to gollow the social cues of others to make sure we are doing what our body needs us to do.

[trinityadhd]

I really think I have inattentive ADHD (among other things) and I want to have it checked out by a therapist so that I know whether or not I'm right, but I might not be able to for a long time. What should I do until I can?

Until then I think your best bet is to find some coping strategies if it’s causing you issues. Not all strategies work for all people and it can be a process of trying to find what works best for you.

When I know I have stuff to get done that’s really important, I like to make lists of every small thing involved (checking them off makes me feel really productive). I also like to work on my lab reports and papers in my schools library BUT I don’t go to the quiet floor. I find that dead silence distracts me much more than quiet activity around me so I go to the far back of the second floor by a window and pop in some headphones. I’ve found being in areas with minor activity and sound is more helpful to me. I also like to fidget with my hands and fingers and doodling or having something to mess around with helps. There’s a lot of torn up paper in my jacket pockets from this lol

Later on I can post some links to some helpful articles! My mom was not diagnosed until she was an adult (actually only a few years ago) so I’ll ask her to post on how she managed her adhd and inattention until she was diagnosed, so keep an eye out for that!

For now, worrying whether you do or do not have it probably won’t help you too much and might lead to a lot of overthinking. Use whatever resources you can find to your advantage no matter what diagnoses they’re for and don’t think “I must be faking this”

[trinityadhd]

do you have any strategies for handling the lack of appetite while on medication? i can barely eat at all since i’ve started vyvanse

Hi! So sorry for the long wait college has been crazy, When I was on medication I did have (and still have) a lack of appetite a lot of the time. I try to make it a goal to eat at certain times, even if it’s just a granola bar or a plain bagel. Try having small meals or snacks throughout the day that are high in calories/nutrition so you have that energy coming in. Sometimes I’ll eat things that aren’t as healthy just to get food into my body and that’s okay if you do that!

Try finding some foods that you enjoy or ones that you can eat throughout the day (I like smoothies!)

There’s several online resources for lack of appetite (though they’re not specifically for medication) I’ll link them once I’m off mobile and at home. They do emphasize eating healthily, but sometimes you just need some kind of food and I find it easier to eat foods I enjoy when I’m not hungry rather than forcing myself to eat healthy things I don’t like.