Listening Well is More Important Than Selling Yourself
Learning to listen well isn’t as easy as it sounds. How many times have you been involved in conversations that seem so competitive that they’re not really conversations at all? Business networking in particular can be a minefield when it comes to these kinds of encounters.
You can see how it happens. The urge to sell yourself, to project your personality can end up driving you. But anyone who’s been at the mercy of an aggressive salesperson, or a bore at a party can tell you what an unattractive trait this can become.
Think about when you were a child and playing with other children. It’s often the case that kids’ communication involves them saying to one another, “I’m doing this” or “look at what I can do”. They haven’t learnt the art of conversation yet, instead they’re self-actualising by bouncing their self-perception off each other. This is entirely appropriate for them at this time.
I think when you encounter people in the adult world who simply talk at you, about themselves and what they’re up to, they come across as not having learnt to have a proper conversation. They’re still self-actualising. It may be that the pressure of getting across what they do in business has swamped any other considerations. Or it could be that they simply don’t get it and they can only communicate in terms of themselves.
When it comes to writing material for clients I try and get them to see things from their prospective customers’ viewpoint. Offloading a mass of noise and bluster about your various achievements isn’t going to make people want to use your services or buy from you. Being willing to listen to their concerns and address them accordingly is far more likely to win you customers and clients.
Being nice to others and helpful are not signs of weakness. I think you make yourself more inherently interesting if you’re prepared to listen to what other people have to say. Plus, the more you listen, the more knowledge you’ll accumulate, and knowledge is where the real power lies.
If you can work out what people want, and how you can help them get it, that’s a route to success that doesn’t involve you lording it over people with your ego.








