The Trollmin Muses

The personal tumblr of Pokefarm's own Trollmin, Ledah. Not linked on PF, because this tumblr is for adults, son.

[trollmin2]

My heart hurts.

How did I get here, how the hell? Pan left, close on the steeple of the church. How did I get here, how the hell? Christmas - Christmas eve last year.

Mark Cohen - RENT

Christmas eve, and an anniversary I'd rather forget.  A year ago today was one of the worst days of my life.  Some of you may remember why from reading my journal that day.

On Christmas eve last year, Quillamina died.  One year later, it still hurts just as much.  I still wonder if somehow, it was my fault, if I did something to cause whatever it was that took her.  It's probably a stupid thing to think, but I just can't help wondering, what if.  I keep wondering if there was anything I could have done differently that would have prevented it.

Mostly, I wonder how to keep my heart from breaking all over again.  It hasn't fully healed, and probably never will; it might look okay, but there are cracks running through it, little fault lines that, with enough pressure, could shatter it and leave me having to put the pieces back together again, and wonder how I ever managed it last time.

Except I didn't, not really.  I've cried so many times since then; I'm crying now.  I still have her favourite blanket, and I bury my face in it when it all becomes too much to bear.

That happens a lot.  There are no words for how much I miss her.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again, and naysayers can keep their opinions to themselves and their traps shut: She was my baby.  I was her mother.  The day she died, I lost a child, and I will never be the same again.

Today, for me, will be full of tears, pain, and the memory of heartbreak.  Today, no amount of happy memories will be enough.

Today, I remember and I cry; I grieve.  And most of all, as I feel my heart begin to break again, today I will wish to hold her just one more time, and wonder if she is gone because I wasn't good enough.

Nine hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes, Nine hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear. Nine hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes, How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In nine hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes, How do you measure a year in the life?

How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love. Seasons of love.

[needsmoarcat]

[conflictingheart]

THE CAT ASKS FOR FOOD

It politely taps him on the arm and then uses its little kitty paws to show that it would like some food

These adorable little creatues are just so intelligent and so utterly cute <3

[letters-from-ami]

and it looked like it nodded too :3 too cute!

[kittymudface]

It gets better— the guy is deaf, and he taught his cat the sign for “food.” So the cat’s not just saying “put that in my mouth,” it’s actually signing

[trollmin2]

That is amazing.  Cats are fucking brilliant, man.

[wantering-leather]

Flared Leather-Sleeve Coat

[trollmin2]

FFFF WHY IS THIS SO EXPENSIVE I FUCKING WANT IT

[dogjournal-deactivated20240320]

PIT BULL COMFORTS SICK DOGS AT THE VET - "Dominic lays with dogs as they come out of surgery, which calms them, making it much easier on the vet techs to handle the dogs as they wake up."

A Pit Bull named Dominic has earned the title of “Denkai Recovery Specialist” at the Denkai Veterinary Care Clinic in Colorado. Staff members noticed that Dominic would go to dogs who are recovering from surgery and cuddle with them. In addition to dogs, he also comforts cats also. Read more from the greeleytribune.com:

Haswell, though, remained a little skeptical. Dominic was cuddling with the new dog because he was cold, she thought.

She changed her mind later that day, when Dominic lay in the middle of a pile of dogs out of surgery and rested his head on their bodies when they cried.

The dog who cried the most got the most cuddle time from Dominic.

And she remembered the way Dominic rested his head on her neck when she had a headache.

Dominic would even cuddle with cats out of surgery, though they weren’t as receptive as the dogs.

What’s more, it made things easier on them. Dogs coming out of surgery could be wild, even aggressive, and bites were a little too common.

But when Dominic lay with them, they woke up calm, rested and happy.

Dominic now seems to understand his job. When a dog is under, Dominic waits at the foot of the door until clinic workers bring the dog out of surgery and set it on Dominic’s pillow, and he immediately goes over to rest with them.

Dominic cries and paces if another dog is crying in the clinic. He even acts irritated when Haswell rubs a dog’s body in an attempt to wake it up, as if Dominic’s saying, “Hey, I got this.”

“I’ve never, ever seen anything like this,” said Floss Blackburn, who has seen a lot as the founder of Denkai. “He’s got such a sweet heart.”

Dominic is a compassionate dog with an important job. Click here for the full story and here for more about the Denkai Veterinary Clinic. (Photos by Dan England)

[trollmin2]

Omfg.  This dog.  THIS DOG. <3 So, like...who was saying that all pit bulls are horrible, vicious monsters, again?  Yeah, this looks like a vicious animal to me. *drips sarcasm*

[fuckyeahhighqualitypics]

The Name of the Doctor

[draconicanimagus]

…… why is Tennent’s last name McDonald?!

[solemnxrequiem]

….because that’s his real last name????

[spiritofcamelot]

I knew David changed his last name to be a stage name but Slyvester McCoy? Oh you poor boy. You have almost as many names as Dumbledore.

[gingerten]

DAVID JOHN McDONALD EVERYTHING I KNOW IS WROOOOOOOONG

[pxndiest-blog]

OLD MCDONALD HAD A TARDIS,

DO-WE-DO-WE-DOO~

[trollmin2]

THAT LAST COMMENT OMFG I'M DYING

[snow-anne]

Today, an EMT asked how she could identify trans patients(for medical reasons). After being suggested to simply ask it as a routine question, she replied that she could never do that because it would offend cis people. There you have it folks, she would rather have a trans person suffer complications than risk offending a cis person.

Cis people fracking terrify me.

[retro-sci-fi-songbird]

That is of course bullshit but I wouldn’t lump all cis people into the same category because we aren’t all assholes like that

[maddiemantis-deactivated2018040]

And BOOM straight back to cis people’s feelings

[trollmin2]

If a cis person is offended by this, then - nope, y'know what, I don't even have words to describe how dumb that is.  It's a legitimate fucking question to ask, all you have to do is answer yes or no.  Boom, done, next question.  Any cis person who gets offended by a simple question should get a boot up the arse. I do have a question regarding this, though; what kind of medical reasons would someone have to need to know whether someone was cis or trans?  I can't think of any reason it would make a difference.  I'm not trying to be a dick here, I'm legit asking because I don't understand and would like to.

[trollmin2]

Self-discovery can suck balls

TRIGGER WARNING: THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS DESCRIPTIONS OF SELF-HARM.  READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. So, I'm always seeing these posts about people who self-arm, and I always feel awful for them.  I think, "What must it be like, to be in so much pain that this is how they handle it?" What I didn't realize is that I'm one of them.  I've been self-harming for years and I didn't even realize that was what I was doing.  I've never seen it for what it is; I don't even know what made me realize it today, right in the middle of it in the shower. That's where I usually do it.  Easy cleanup, and it lets me rinse it out afterward.  It's not cutting, like most people do, although it still involves blood.  I shred the absolute shit out of the inside of my mouth.  The skin or whatever the fuck you call it is uneven, ripped, and just generally ugly as hell.  I usually go for the spots where the teeth naturally rub up against it, since they're the easiest to get into; I've never had much by way of fingernails, but you don't require them to do a lot of damage.  My mouth is still sore from it earlier today; I can still taste a bit of blood.  Even my gums are a mess; they don't escape the treatment unscathed either. I don't even know why I do it, really.  It's a stress response, and I do the most damage on days when I'm really depressed.  I guess there's something about spitting out the blood and watching it go down the drain that's calming or something?  Like I'm getting rid of a toxin maybe, I don't know.  I've never really thought about it before because, as I said, I didn't even realize this was a self-harm thing until today. If there's anyone reading this who's been thinking of self-harming but hasn't started yet, don't.  I don't do this because it's fun; it's not.  I don't do it because it feels good; it doesn't.  I certainly don't do it because it's a good or smart way of dealing with my shit; it's not, and I know that. Now that I've realized exactly what I'm doing, will I stop?  Probably not, at least not right away.  It's an ingrained stress response by now, and while it's not a good thing, it's how it is.  That's not to say I won't try; I'm just realistic.  Stopping this kind of thing is a lot harder than starting.

[trollmin2]

ACTUAL SUMMARY OF GREEK MYTHOLOGY

Zeus: im gonna put my dick in it

Everyone: dont put ur dick in it

Zeus: toO LaTE

[beckdrop]

Here is some yellow paper.

We say it is yellow because that’s what color it is.

Simple enough, let’s move on.

Here is some white paper.

We say it is white because that’s what color it is.

Now, imagine some stuff happens to...

[trollmin2]

I didn't get this before either.  Now it seems so simple that I feel like a derp for not understanding sooner. >>

[i-like-tomato-soup-deactivated2]

Hi guy’s this is Eternal-Violet-Void’s girlfriend, We decided to post this here since she has many more followers than I do.  PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST THIS.  This girl has been messaging us both non-stop and saying the most hateful things. I don’t know what to say to make her stop so I was hoping to in-list some help from all of you. Thank you guys!

[hotel-de-la-bootiebutt]

SIGNAL BOOST THIS

[britneyymarieee]

Time to expose! Reblog !!!

[fondafeeling]

Urge to punch rising…

[trollmin2]

Time to involve the police, methinks.  Block her number and call the cops.

[longpants-deactivated20130328]

Visit Original Link

[demi-the-cat]

just press play, you will not regretthis is seriously my favorite post on tumblr

I went to reblog this and the gIF CHANGED SIZE AND IT WAS LIKE WOA IN MY FACE SO MUCH DITTO

[trollmin2]

OH GAWD WHAT IS THIS xD

[julshii]

and for the really talented 

By Julia [tumblr]

[trollmin2]

This looks like a human Vriska, and that makes it so much better.

[fleshsuitfullofcats-deactivated]

My friend who keeps messing up my pronouns got me this as a way to encourage him to get better at it.

[trollmin2]

Best friend.

[triptrippy]

me and my friends have been playing this game all week that we learned from our art teacher at the beginning of the year where we fold a piece of paper in half and someone draws the top of a creature then someone else draws the bottom without looking at the other half like 

[trollmin2]

THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER

[snarkenstone]

On the left, we have the lyrics from Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines. On the right, we rape survivors participating in Project Unbreakable, showing the various things that were said to them by their rapist.

From the Mouths of Rapist: The Lyrics to Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines

[lacigreen]

I think this is the most powerful photoset I’ve ever seen on Tumblr.

[lulabellexo]

Reblogging until you understand why this song is so vile.

[trollmin2]

This song is disgusting, and I absolutely hate how the "artist" swears that's not what it means and is throwing out the party line "I'm sorry if it offended people, that wasn't my intention."  Bullshit.  Your song is about rape, and you fucking know it.  You knew it when you wrote it, and you still thought it was okay to put out there.  So thank you for continuing to perpetuate rape culture, you douchebag. When I saw it performed on Glee, I really thought they had dropped the ball...until Sue Sylvester called Will out on it and told him what the song is really about.  Considering how many people watch Glee, it's good that they delivered that message.

[tastefullyoffensive]

Snakes Wearing Hats [via] Previously: Cats Wearing Animal Hats

[trollmin2]

HOW DO YOU GET A HAT ON A FUCKING COBRA OMFG. I love snakes, they're so cute.  I'd never keep one, though; I can't stand the fact that they eat rodents.  Rodents are pets to me; my family has had so many rats, and I have two mice right now.  I'd only ever have a garter snake, I think, since they're small enough that you can get away with not giving them rodents and giving them crickets instead.  They're shella nasty though, from what I've been told.  Biters and just generally unfriendly.

[mr-wishy-deactivated20181203]

Y’know, I’ve been asked on my sexuality and gender identity before, and it’s only just now I’ve gotten the courage to talk about it. (Thanks, guys.)

I don’t know the words or terms or the ten-dollar words used to describe it, but I don’t identify…with any gender, really. I’m not male, I’m not...

[trollmin2]

FUCK LABELS YOU BE WHATEVER YOU WANT BBY.