fight me irl

road work ahead? uh yea, I sure hope it does | they/them | 22

[chrispalmermusic]

[knightlyhoods-deactivated202404]

this has got to be THE funniest sentence ive seen all day im gonna cry

[quaadude]

Me getting my name called to get my order at Starbucks

[floppyschoice]

the cha cha slide in full metal armor

[floppyschoice]

“sliiide to the left”

*indescribably loud screeching of metal against asphalt*

[floppyschoice]

“one hop this time”

*clonk*

“two hops this time”

*clonk clonk*

[floppyschoice]

“everybody clap your hands!”

*clankclankclankclankclank*

[snakeybones]

Ask and ye shall receive ft. my drunk ass Any other requests? Send ‘em my way! 

[meladoodle]

my granddad just called me to tell me how big his cauliflowers are growing and it was so cute theyre “TWICE as big as the ones you get in the shop”

[meladoodle]

[meladoodle]

i told my granddad this post has 3,500 notes and he said ‘who are they? do i know them?’ he wanted me to list everyone and see if he knew anyone

[toffeeremade]

cat: has a nose

me: BOOP !!!!!!!!! B OO P 💌💓✨✨💓✨✨💓✨💌💌💓✨✨💓💫💓✨💓✨💫💘✨💓✨✨💌💌💓 KISS SMOOCH !!!! BOOP !!!!!!!! MWAH 💓✨✨💌💓💘💫💘💫💌💌💘💫💫✨💓💌💘💘💌💫💌💌💓💘💓💫💓💫💓

[hoemami-deactivated20171229]

wonder who the culprit is

[eroscestlavie]

oh my god..a bread boy 

[valtsv]

i hate love triangles but i AM a sucker for the trope that’s like (jealous asshole voice) “you could have had anyone in the entire kingdom/city/school and you chose THAT trashbag???” where the trashbag in question is indeed deserving of the title and even unapologetically embraces it, but also has proven themselves throughout the story to be a kind, compassionate, attentive and just genuinely good person who is willing to make an effort to deserve the love interest’s affection and even then still doesn’t expect anything from them as a ‘‘‘reward’’’

[valtsv]

before you all go tagging this with your otps i just want you to know this is about megamind and shrek

[valtsv]

THE FILMS!!! I MEANT THE FILMS!!!!!! FUCK

[tinychubbybarista]

[princesstigerbelle]

BOX FOR PLAY

[tangerinebonfire]

Look at this beautiful angel

[princesstigerbelle]

[valtsv]

if you’d told me 2 years ago that the “babadook is a gay icon” meme would lead to a chain of events that ended in a news article about pennywise being “surprisingly” homophobic being published i would have thought you were just saying words but it’s 2019 now and this is where we are

[valtsv]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I JUST JOINED THIS GROUP ON FACEBOOK

[one-time-i-dreamt]

A red flag… for WHAT exactly?

[one-time-i-dreamt]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

[leftboob-enthusiast]

“you don’t need to be stressed!” okay but consider this: I am

[ngalitzine]

👑

[kevinkinky]

Republicans are scary but republicans under the age of 20 are even scarier

[fucknobarackobama]

Yeah liberals are terrified of educated youth

[kevinkinky]

did your dad tell you that

[stability]

[bingomann]

ok but imagine a roomba that’s programmed to react positively when being scratched or petted 

[bingomann]

#or a roomba that’s programmed to recognize their owner and drive up to them for no other reason than to be petted

[bingomann]

roomba company, please make this happen

[fire-is-her-water]

I have a Neato Botvac that has an optical sensor to find its way around (Roombas just bump into things and derps off in a random direction) and yesterday it did its “dee-dummm” sad noise while under the couch, stopped what it was doing, and hummed over to me and stopped beside my chair, with its error message saying, “Please dust me off so I can see.” I wiped it off and sent it on its way, and it did its “doo doo do doooo!” of happiness and finished the living room. It’s never done that before, but I like to think that I’ve gained its trust over the past few months, and it knows it can come to me for help.

[sushinfood]

baby boomers: we don’t need robots

everyone else: we don’t deserve robots

[void-of-any-life-deactivated201]

Arvtdjryfyjdhg CUUUUUTE

[bi-villain]

[so-doggone-funny]

this is one of the greatest jokes this show has ever landed