𝐒𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐆𝐎𝐃

Our 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐒 are fashioned by our 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐒.

[truearchangel]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤpri / sel rp blog for original character 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐋. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤPenned by INU. 21+, EST.

ㅤㅤㅤ#𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 *⁀➷ a study in 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐒, 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄, 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐒, 𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐄 and 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐘. There will be a lot of dark content on this blog so do not follow if you are uncomfortable with such topics. Please give the rules a read before following and be 21+. Content warnings for blood, gore, body horror, alcohol & drugs, religious content and blasphemy AKA: DEAD DOVE ; DO NOT EAT.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤMINORS & PERSONAL BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤcarrd. memes. art credit. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤinbox call. hc masterpost.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇: ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ@diistortion, @alteregozowie, @radioiaci ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ@solmxri, @arachn0philia, @damnablesouls ( Lucifer & Emerald )

UPDATE 1/17/26 — slow activity, catching up!

[truearchangel]

“Alastor doesn’t love me. In the market for a new partner.”

Ft. @alteregozowie

[truearchangel]

"Lava caramel boiled apple pie... hm."

[diistortion]

"Cooking can be an art form in the right hands, as well. No one said you had to approve of it all, I can see where you're coming from. However, darling, you are the one that keeps invading the kitchen..."

[truearchangel]

"Cooking is just science and I like science. It's just a matter of master it and forcing it to submit."

[alteregozowie]

"Don't you dare turn on that stove, Michael. Don't you dare! I need to speak with that television headed egomaniac who thinks he's Gordon Ramsey over here, first. Just leave it there I'll come right back -"

[truearchangel]

[diistortion]

"Might take longer, but it's about the quality of the results rather than the speed of the process. Humans can't eat everything raw though, their weak little constitutions leave them getting ill frequently. So cooking has become rather necessary, and since becoming necessary it's also become just...an expectation, really."

[truearchangel]

"That just sounds tedious. In my day, Adam just hunted something and roasted it over a fire until it wasn't raw anymore and ate that. Or he and Eve would have berries, nuts, those sorts of things that could be foraged easily."

[damnablesouls]

" Long as he stays away from behind my bar. I don't care whatever Micheal's doing. "

[truearchangel]

"Well I could probably use that Crown Royal Salted Caramel Whisky. I'm sure it all functions the same as long as it's caramel. I'll just ask the TV first."

[alteregozowie]

"Whom is teaching you? Don't tell me you mean - "

"VOX? OH VOOOOOOOX. CAN I SPEAK WITH YOU A MOMENT?"

[truearchangel]

"You go dance with the TV or whatever you do, I'm going to boil these things." He proceeds to dump several bags of caramel candies (all different kinds) into a large pot.

[diistortion]

"I've known him for over 70 years, darling, if he does any actual cooking on that cooking show I can't even assure anyone it would be edible. Could just be my trust issues talking, but still. You don't boil the apples in caramel, love. I feel like we should just spend a day in the kitchen cooking and baking together, then we can subject the residents to the results~"

[truearchangel]

"But that sounds like it would take longer, Alastor." Patience was not one of Michael's virtues and he does not have a problem with that. Why not do things the quickest and most efficiant way? "I don't think I enjoy this cooking thing. Why don't humans just eat all things raw? That is far more efficiant."

[truearchangel]

Alastor: Vox just has a cooking show he can't actually cook. Michael: *windows loading sound*

[alteregozowie]

"Micheal!!! Get out of the kitchen!!!"

[truearchangel]

"The box is teaching me how to make apples boiled in caramel!"

[diistortion]

"Darling, I adore you, but Vox does not cook, he just plays a chef on TV. You don't boil the caramel, you just need it to be melted enough to be able to just dip the apples in, just to coat them. You don't boil the apples in the caramel."

[truearchangel]

"But... wouldn't the Box know how to cook if he has a cooking show?" Now Michael is just confused on how televisions work.

[gcxingsuprnva]

“Wait. Wait, I said coat them in caramel. You boil the caramel. Separately. Do not blow up your kitchen, I’m being so serious—”

….he can’t deny he’s curious to see how this goes, though.

[truearchangel]

"That seems antiproductive. If you're going to put the apples in caramel anyway then why not boil them together?" The TV seemed to be making things harder for himself then it needed to be. Michael waved him off. "I'm trying to feed the humans here, and you seemed certain this was a human feeding dish."

[diistortion]

"....I sense Michael is in the kitchen again."

[truearchangel]

"The TV said to boil apples in caramel. So I'm boiling the golden things I found in a drawer that look like caramel."

[truearchangel]

This is the thing you're letting into your kitchen, by the way. / art by @radioiaci

[truearchangel]

@more-things-in-heaven-hell: “Mike… I don’t think that’s right .. “

"No, the TV assured me, this is how its done. So I have a pot, I have this big bag of..." he shakes something around. "Caramel thingies and a bunch of apples. Just need enough caramel to boil and then boil the apples in them. It'll be fine."

[truearchangel]

“The TV said I can boil apples in caramel. So hold on I’m gong to the kitchen.”