Some Quotes From my Art History Professor:
āCaravaggio was the BEST renaissance painter, because he knew his shit. Ā Literally. Ā Look at this painting, heās painted shit on everything, even Saint Peter!ā
āFor those of you fortunate enough to Not grow up catholic, a baptism is where you mist a baby like an orchid to keep it from going to hell.ā
āYou get Extra Credit for you eerily comprehensive knowledge of Muppets. Ā Now stop talking.ā
āGOD I love flying buttresses. Ā Theyāre so melodramatic!ā
āI donāt call himĀ āDa Vinciā because that meansĀ āFrom Vinciā. Ā Thatās like calling SteveĀ āOf Greeleyā instead of his real name and thatās just rude. Ā And not just because Greeley is Awful.ā
āMichelangelo was really depressed because his job sucked. Ā Also because he was a bit of a douche, but mostly the job. Ā He should have been doing literally anything else.ā
āEverything can be improved with a Simpsonās reference!ā
āSend me Memes, I like having recent content in my lectures.ā
*Next day*Ā āStop sending me memes. Please.ā
*whilst angrily pointing at a picture of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles* āThe Turtles have all their names mixed up for their personalities and frankly thatās embarrassing. Ā The techie should be Leo, the Flirt should be Raphael, The Boring Leader Dude should be Donatello and the angry one should be Carvaggio because that asshole literally spent his life drunk, fighting people and blackmailing cardinals. Ā Carvaggio was the BEST.ā
āI could have studied in Rome. I could be trying to match boxes of broken dicks to statuary. Ā Instead of dicks I have you assholes.ā
āWarhol was, as you young people say, A Troll. Ā The art is not the Art, the Outrage is the Art. Ā Which is kind of a Dick Move, which we old people say too.ā
āRemember Kids- mental illness and heavy metal poisoning are not actually substitutes for Talent and Hard Work! Get therapy and donāt drink your paint water!ā
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