Hold is Gold

call me moss. he/they. 26. side blog is @joyfulclutter

[soracities]

happy "everyone forgets that icarus also flew" monday. i want to throw up !

[soracities]

"anything worth doing is worth doing badly"............."not failing as he fell but just coming to the end of his triumph"......goodnight (it's noon)

[headspace-hotel]

Here's an idea about why kids are so anxious and depressed all the time...the environments kids are in most of the time are very stressful and don't fulfill their needs for play, rest, proper variety of foods, positive social opportunities, and freedom from fear pain punishment etc

[headspace-hotel]

Like everyone with any basic understanding of animal welfare knows that if you put an animal in an enclosure that is too crowded, without hiding spots, with no freedom to move around, no ability to avoid harsh and stressful stimuli, and scare it by shouting at it and punishing it, the animal will become stressed and start chewing its own fur off or hurting itself or become sick or unable to eat...

But we expect human children to grow up in these conditions and literally blame them when they develop the exact type of problems that any creature under those conditions would

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

I think one of the kindest things you can do for people with various mental health struggles is just... let people back into your life after they've been absent for a while.

Making friends as an adult is so fucking hard already and isolating yourself from other people is a very common symptom of depression, anxiety, burnout, ocd, trauma, grief, etc. Which means that someone will do the hard work of recovery/healing and resurface back into a world where their previous friends have written them off because they stopped showing up.

So if you know someone where you're like "yeah we could have been better friends but they fell off the map a bit" and that person suddenly reaches out, or starts showing up to events even though you kind of forgot they were still in the group chat... well they may have been Going Through It and you don't actually have to punish them for their absence you can just be glad that they're back.

[quadriviummuse]

Needed to hear this today.

[taraljc]

as much as I cannot handle being perceived yes this tracks

[ilovedthestars]

"how do you feel about labels as a queer person?"

[drew-booker-books]

People will disparagingly make comments about hypothetical he/hims with visible breasts without pondering the circumstances of the him in particular.

Are they a choice he has made, or are they a circumstance he simply has to live with? Is he low-income, does he have health care, does his health care cover gender confirming surgery? Does he have medical conditions that make binding dangerous? Will his family block him from pursing the surgery? Does his partner beg him not to lop them off because they’re so fun to play with? Will his transphobic boss get suspicious if he takes time off and returns with a flat chest?

Why are we assuming that the choice he has made now is the choice he will make forever, or a choice made without coercion?

And if he does retain his breasts fully of his own volition... why are we disparaging him for making a decision about the shape of his own body?

He’s the one that has to live in it.

[loredwy]

I cant believe this tweet is how I find out

[would-you-punt-them]

now all the things you guys have told me about american high schools are starting to make sense

[jeaninelatragedia]

holy shit.

[frustratedasatruar]

You're not really supposed to say it this way, because its considered crass, but here in the US children are culturally and legally considered essentially the property of their parents.

Note that its considered more crass to point this out than it is to treat children as property in the first place.

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[thesundanceghost]

Nothing I’ve read has changed me more than “you do people a favor by accepting their help” like I repeat this constantly to so many people because it’s true!!! People like to feel useful, they like to feel kind, they like to feel like they have an ability to impact people’s lives so just let them!! Not everything is a thing to be owed back — accept people’s kindness without making a competition out of it

[gaylor-moon]

(source) They pissed so many people off with this post jfc. People are SO docile and on their knees "CUZ IT'S THE GOVERNMENT!!!" So it's just completely fine, don't question it, government good, I never do anything bad it's the government no worries.

[goatmilksoda]

A question I get asked a lot while working at a public library is "how do you deal with homeless people?"

And the answer is, we don't.

The unhoused people who come here seeking refuge 99% of the time understand that they will be kicked out if they misbehave.

The people you have to watch out for are Jessica, who only came because the kid she didn't want had to visit for a homework assignment and she just *needs* to yell at her child for asking to borrow two books or stay an extra five minutes, or Michael, who came in to look at porn on our computers for whatever fucking reason, or Karen who just wanted to come by to throw a fit that the particular book she wanted was checked out and harrass our staff about our collection being too limited.

99% of the time, the people we need to ban are middle to upper-middle class white people while the homeless and mentally ill/disabled people mind their own damn business and are honestly some of the best patrons we have.

[goatmilksoda]

I bring this up because today we had a man come in. He stopped at the desk, pulled up a chair and said "I'm newly homeless and was living in my car. I'm disabled. It was impounded. It's raining. I don't have a phone and I don't know where to go tonight."

And we did what we could to help. He was incredibly kind and patient despite his obvious anxiety and stress, more than most able bodied, housed patrons are to us under much less dire conditions. I liked knowing that we were the first place he came.

We have so many people like this who come in everyday. Many are quiet and keep to themselves, but sometimes they talk to us.

They tell us about how they're taking a few courses on a scholarship they applied for from our library's computer at the local community college to get their diploma. Or ask about a manga or dvd or book we might have to help them pass the time.

One woman, who comes in daily with her tattered walker always says hello to me and likes to work on the new jigsaw puzzle with me when we set one out.

So like, treat unhoused people like people. Treat disabled people like people. I don't want my library to feel like the only safe space in the world, but I'm glad it can be one of them.

I'm so sick of hearing about how "the homeless are ruining everything" when they are some of the kindest, most respectful people here. Sometimes they mutter, might not have had a place to shower, and might need a little extra space for their backpacks but that's FINE. It Doesn't Matter Actually. None of that is a problem or any of my business to care about (unless they request help/services), and I also don't think it's any of yours.

[pusheenthenerdcat]

libraries provide vital and lifesaving services and i will die on the hill you have to let people who are mentally ill and disabled and homeless and politically disagreeable to you still access those rescourses. its simply too important to society

[autism-thoughts]

The anti-vax and anti-science propaganda is very real - and also, frankly I think doctors and nurses would've had an easier time getting people not to fall for it if they spent less time treating people like fucking shit

[autism-thoughts]

This post is about a lot of things but it is especially about racism, medical abuse, and eugenics

[mortalityplays]

learn to associate cleaning with pride instead of shame and your quality of life will improve in ways you can't even imagine btw

[mortalityplays]

like I'm sympathetic, it's hard work, it takes some degree of mental organisation and physical capacity that is not equally accessible to every human being on earth. I know. but regardless of how much you can do and how often, you will get better results across the board if you can frame it as positive effort towards a better situation instead of perpetually self flagellating for having the sin of being a solid thing in physical space that steadily accumulates dirt no matter what just like everything else on earth

[wastelandnaturalist]

Ppl in general should know more about the PANC movement and im not joking

The PANC movement is a latin-american based botanical movement (started out in Brazil) focused on researching and cataloguing non-conventional edible plants, and man. There are so many straight up ornamental plants that just. are edible. you can eat them. you can grab a daylily and eat it. You can grab a begonia and eat it. Hibiscus, lavender, dandelions. And those are just the flowers. So many little herbs out there that are fully edible (Shout out to lamb's ear, that one tastes really nice imo).

Like straight up there is free food out there. foraging is so cool but it's so hard to find actual sources not made by either some AI fucker that's gonna end up killing you or by some crunchy "eating grass will cure your cancer" influencer. PANC is made by actual scientists that specialized in botany that have fully researched and found out that These Plants Are Fully Safe to Eat.

And not only that, but they're legitimizing native knowledge. They're taking the plants that our native populations have been eating for centuries and are proving, in a lab, that yeah, these plants ARE safe to eat - which is incredible. It might sound stupid (like ooo NOW you're willing to believe the native people) but this is so, so important, because having ACTUAL SCIENTIFIC PROOF of their knowledge is a way to combat the still pervasive idea that natives are "stupid savages", or that their traditions are just "wacky spirituality nonsense".

Most sources are in portuguese, but you can still use a translator. Here's a link for a giant PDF with a shit ton of edible plants. This particular one has pictures of said plants, along which parts are edible and how (some you can eat straight up, others are edible after cooking, etc). Most of these plants are native to Brazil, but a lot of them are exotic plants that have been brought here as ornamental plants - and a lot of them have been shipped out to other countries as ornamental plants too, so you can still find some species near you.

[foreversfangirl]

What do you fall asleep to?

Silence

White noise

Nature sounds

Music

Podcasts/audiobooks/talking

ASMR

TV

Other

Voting ended onAug 10

[claudiagray]

I am a lifelong insomniac--as in, I remember nap time in kindergarten as that period when I would just lie on a mat, wide awake and bored as hell while everyone else zonked out all around me. For many years I took sleep meds, and even these only did so much good.

Then, around the end of last year, I began listening to audiobooks on sleep headphones, and it is more effective than ANY DRUG. The trick, I learned, is not to listen to new books (because then I get involved and can't go to sleep) or very exciting favorites (ditto). Instead, it has to be relatively sedate favorites I've read so much I almost know passages by heart (THE SHELL SEEKERS, LITTLE WOMEN), or audio courses on topics that I am interested in but either (a) know very well already or (b) am not so fascinated by that I'll wind up staying awake to hear more. The Great Courses on physics, chemistry and ancient civilizations tend to work beautifully. This is especially effective because my biggest issue wasn't taking a long time to fall asleep (though this was a thing), but waking up in the night and then thinking/fretting about ALL THE THINGS for hours on end. Now I wake up, hear somebody talking about nuclear particles or the Olmecs, and engage with that very minimally before I drop off again.

If you have sleep issues and haven't tried this, give it a shot!

[my-flying-sister]

I love rebloging. It’s the adult equivalent of showing everyone the cool rock I just found.

[the-dandy-liar]

[frederickchiltonsdivacup]

AO3 Writer Affirmations:

I do not have to reinvent the wheel every time I write fanfiction

I do not have to make every chapter's word count above 1,000 in order for it to be good

It is okay if some things don't make sense

I can write whatever I want

I am writing this shit for free

If people don't like my stuff, they can block me. If they're being mean about it, I can block them.

The most important part of writing fanfiction is having fun

Writing fanfiction is supposed to be fun

I do not have to appeal to people

This shit is fun

I am doing this all for free, and anyone who objects can go eat wet sand and worms from the sidewalk

[unwell-radio-transmissions]

so many articles online 'here is how become support worker,' 'here is how bathe disabled/elderly person,' 'here is what NDIA says you need before you qualify for personal care.'

None on 'so you became disabled in your twenties and it has progressed to the point you need support with personal care to cope with the fatigue and you're nonverbal and autistic. How do you navigate this new dynamic with strangers and communicate important things like wants and consent? And how do you not feel ashamed or embarrassed because you 'don't really need it'?'

(would genuinely like advice or hear other people's experiences if comfortable sharing. can be on anon if want or ask for Radio not to publish ask)

[firespirited]

As someone who has had multiple carers over 20 years and more or less verbal abilities, I gradually labelled everything and made lists.

Essentially turning my life into a routine similar to what it would be like to be in an institution but on my terms.

Detailed menus for food (how I want it cooked, salted), grocery list (which meant cutting down and simplifying how I eat and eating repetitive food with emergency meal options).

List of chores and their days: a day to pick up the groceries and put them away, a day she cleans the bedroom, a day she does the floors. once a month collect medicines... All suited to give them lots of time and account for unexpected needs.

Instructions sharpied on the washing machine, labels written on the cupboards and taped above the microwave

My clothes are basic: all machine wash and no iron, can be mixed and matched, my bedsheets can be mixed and matched

I do meds once a week and have a proper weekly pillbox with a list taped to it. I hated accepting this signifier of illness.

My bath days are on days she's not here which is a recent luxury because I used to need help there.

Boundaries

My bedroom is off limits unless it's bedroom day. Weight and romantic life are off limits.

I have not found a way to communicate that I'm not a psychologist in 20 years of this. Carers are often in the process of being broken by the job: they vent (a lot), they get burn out, they find it easier (and make more money) to do any other job.

It hurts the ego every single time you meet a new one and initiate them to your routines. Those stupid house management binders like seen in mormon influencer households actually do streamline your life even if they feel dehumanizing.

A lot of this stuff was really hard. I felt like if a baby could feel shame. My brain screams the R word at me every now and then for not being able to safely cook or lift things, for not being able to explain myself then sitting through agony rather than seem impolite.

The urge to do the chores yourself is massive even after a hundred energy hangovers and injuries. Write those down because you think you don't need it until you notice you haven't taken care of yourself in weeks trying to keep up with other things or you repeatedly get ill.

What did help was treating the carer's job as dignified: them cleaning for me is not degrading, it's their job. Them witnessing me in distress is not degrading, it's their job and they rise to the occasion and feel proud they got to help someone.

Try and remember that you're providing a respectful, safe work environment for people who would otherwise be unseen or mistreated when working in cleaning/catering or in care homes. Holiday gifts and setting up options for their holidays in advance help. Checking in about balancing their work load over the hours they're given is an important use of your limited social time/energy so it feels more like teamwork to them.

It will feel very weird at first but if you're upfront about communication difficulties and needing time to write things out for example, that can help. The big hurdle in time will be getting enough hours allocated (unless you pay for extra under the table) and not losing carers to their agencies being gigantic soul-sucking body-breaking machines.

(this post is more about things you can do to feel more control over your situation and facilitate your carer's work. I can't help much with how to feel about this nor how much polite smalltalk or guidance you can manage. It won't fall into place nor make sense overnight. Grieving a stage of life or loss of abilities can take upto 10 years, adapting happens sooner than mentally adjusting. )

[unwell-radio-transmissions]

Very detailed & informed much thank you