I stand in my armor on the precipie of Hell’s Mouth. The flames, both red and white, surround me. The three other crystals are all set in their places across the other corners of the gaping abyss. I heave and push the final crystal into place.
Light erupts from its core, and bursts out in the form of three concentrated beams that travel across the vast distances and towards the other crystals. Similar beams now burst out from the rest of them and form a square with an X over the abyss.
Then all four crystals shatter, and the entire cavern is filled with light. The flames are extinguished all at once and a torrent of glowing orbs flows out of the mouth of hell and floats up into the air.
I squint my eyes as the orbs form a humanoid being in the air. Tens of meters tall, with six arms and four massive wings. The angel is adorned in an armor not dissimilar to my own, but glowing, and brand new, as opposed to my ancient set. And much larger of course.
“I am Venn-El. The Angel at the End of Time.” it bellows at me, its voice echoing through the cavern, and transmitting directly into my mind, all at once.
“Why have you awakened me?” it flies down so that its incomprehensible and massive face stares at me. “I am not to awaken until the end of all things, when I am to rebuild a new universe from the ashes of this one.”
“Um, I wanted to switch rooms.” I tell him back.
He floats still above me, silent, for a solid ten seconds. “What?”
“I lived in an inn with three other dudes. I wanted to switch rooms with Bradon because the central heating doesn’t reach my room and it’s gonna be winter soon.”
Venn-El pauses again. Then it drifts back into its original location. “What does that have to do with me?”
“I need a feather from one of your wings.”
“I have literally all the time in the universe.”
“You sure? It’s kinda stupid.” I take off my helmet and rub at the back of my head.
“Now you have piqued my interest mortal. You must tell me.”
“Okay…” I sigh. “You asked for it.”
“So I asked Bradon if I could switch rooms with him and he obviously said no. So I asked him what he wanted in return for the switch. He said I needed to do some chores for him, so I did them, but after that he was like “lol thanks” and then refused to switch rooms.”
“God, what a dick.” Venn-El comments. It seems comfortable leaning back into thin air, as though sitting in a chair.
“I know, right?” I lean back against a rock. “So anyway…” I continue “I eventually realized that my bro Jackmire technically owns the deed for the inn so he could force Bradon to be true to his word. And Jackmire agreed, but he’d have to get the local constable to sign the order confirming Jackmire as head of the house first. So I had to go to the police to get the constable.”
“Sounds like a beaurocratic mess. I would’ve just vaporized Bradon.”
“Trust me, if I could’ve, I would’ve.”
“Okay, so I went down to town to get the constable, but they were busy at the police station because three bandits were hiding in the nearby hillsides causing trouble and the constable was out of town chasing them. They told me they could give me temporary authority as a deputy to go look for him if I helped them with the paperwork. I’m pretty sure that was some bullshit.”
“I don’t have much concept for the way the mortal realm works but it sounds like it.”
“But I did it anyway, got my badge, and went out to the hillside to look for the constable. Only to be nearly immediately attacked by some low-level monsters and chased back to town. So I got to the local blacksmith and asked him to borrow an armor and sword.”
“This armor and sword? Pretty impressive for a small town blacksmith.”
“What? Nah. I upgraded these like 15 times since then.” I tap my Godslayer sword against my Legendary Hero’s armor. “So anyway, blacksmith agreed to just give me the sword if I pretended to be a suitor for his daughter because she’s been very lonely and he thought she needed some love.”
“Kinda manipulative, but also sweet.”
“Long story short, halfway through my fake date, I find out the girl didn’t need a suitor, she was actually gay. I later gave her the address for this other lesbian I’ll meet later, but for then I just bid her ado, and went on my way to the hillsides to look for the constable. Killing the monsters was difficult, but I got pretty good at it after a few hours.”
“Um, last week? Maybe two weeks. I lost the sense of time ever since my trip to the ancient past.”
“But I’m getting ahead of myself. I made it to where the bandits were and found the constable dying. I beat the bandits (broke my sword in the process) and in his dying words, the constable told me that I had to protect the town. I told him I’m too busy and then he died.”
“Exactly. So that was a literally dead end. My only other hope to get the deed verified is the other signature, which was the constable’s old boss who has since retired.”
“So the adventure continues.”
“I got back to town and told the secretary in the police station that the constable is dead. She tells me I’m the new constable. That’s cool and all but I can’t verify the deed since I’m not the one who signed it. I ask where the old guy who co-signed it is and they tell me he’s retired in the Imperial Capital. I also tell the blacksmith that I broke his sword and try to return him his armor but he says I can keep it and even upgrades my stuff to be better. Which is super sweet.”
“Sounds like a solid dude.”
“So anyway, I gotta leave for the capital but I also can’t leave the town without a constable, so I gotta find a replacement. It needs to be somebody strong and reliable, and luckily for me, there was a tournament in the next town over. And I’m thinking surely somebody is gonna be there who’s good to be a constable. So I take the dead constable’s horse and some donated supplies from the locals and I ride there. It’s pretty close by so it doesn’t take too much before I reach there, and the tournament is about to start.”
“Yeah. So anyway, I find the perfect match. Her name is Kroshna and she’s the champion of the village and the daughter of their constable, so she’s got all the experience necessary. I ask her to go be constable in the next town over and she says yes, but on the condition that I beat her in the tournament. So off I go signing up to the tournament so I could face and later beat a lady three times my size and years more experienced than me.”
“Well, it wasn’t easy, but I’m getting ahead of myse-” suddenly the entire abyss begins cracking up and rumbling. It then begins to close.
“Shit.” I say. “Looks like the planetary alignment is over.”
“Fuck. But it was just getting interesting.” Venn-El says. “How did the story go? How did you beat her? What happened when you went to the capital?”
“We’ve got no time, dude. Can I please just get the feather?”
“Oh yeah, yeah, for sure.” the angel plucks a single feather out of one of its wings. Another one instantly grows in its place.
“I hope this helps you in your quest.”
“Please come back next alignment and finish the story because I’m dying to know.”
“Oh yeah, for sure, man. I’ll cya next time!”
The ground then sucks Venn-El back into the abyss in the form of orbs of light, and then closes completely, swallowing everything up in sight. I use my teleportation rock to get out of the cavern before it collapses on me. I then put the feather in my pouch and pull out a to-do list.
I cross out the feather from the list. Only 304 more steps to go.
I sigh and call for my skeleton steed. This is gonna be a long journey.
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