19:17 / enjin
thinking of the course of pillow talk with enjin and after the highs of what had taken place finally begin to simmer and settle as it becomes memory between two entangled souls... it's him looking at you in such a way that deems love at it's core, as if the weight of the world isn't so bad. because you've become exactly that. you had stayed with him throughout this life and he does not know what he could have done to deserve such a being like you. because he knows he's no man of second chances, the demons in his head plague him of the past — of a selfish and at the same time selfless script he must follow for himself because there is no other way out. he is doomed by what consumes him.
but this, holding you as you're both naked and sweaty. and you staring at him as though you'd found what you have always wanted to keep— him. it's what urges him to grace an attempt of quelling the demons in his head because he's a fool like you often say when he's not telling you things. and he knows this, he's a fool for not telling you everything. and maybe you are too, because you are staring at him and insisting on staying.
pillow talk with enjin, after many nights of the same routine, is also him breathing in deep. and deciding that you really do not deserve him when he doesn't tell you everything, and that he is too selfish to let you go. and there is no other way out for him anyway. and you... you deserve to know him as much as he believes he knows you. as much as he believes that he loves you. and so, he takes the glowing reveal of a chance with you.
pillow talk with enjin, and he tells you his real name. and then there's a shift that he's unsure of. did you not like it? but before he could even try to doubt and say something else— suddenly it's you whispering it once, twice— too much, and it's him huffing a laugh of tenderness and disbelief and thinking he might cry and kissing you in between every drop of it from your lips and you, an unrelenting force as ever, saying it once more while you grin against his mouth. and it makes him more so scared in between this proximity you both share that if something were to happen to you, it would truly ruin him.
but you are holding him like so as well. so now, his fears subside. you're more than everything to him now after all.
came back here because of this LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the reader is not gonna call him allat IM CRINE should i delete this fic
